My 98 year old friend.

[Phuzella]

I don't know if this will make an iota of difference to any HA people on here but I personally think it puts things in perspective.
I have a friend,she's 98 years old and I'm in the process of arranging palliative care for her.
Over the years she's had,and recovered from, so many ailments it would make your hair stand on end :). I've only known her for 5 years but she is a widow with no children and only one relative so I, with the consent of her many friends , have taken on the role of next of kin,along with her relative. She's in hospital and will stay there until the end. She has had a very full life and a very positive outlook on life. Despite the following :
Heart attack
Stroke
A condition whereby she has lived on liquids for the past 20 years
Melanoma
And the most impressive of them all in my opinion. ...... double above the knee amputation 10 years ago aged 88.
Oh and low grade leukaemia for a few years .
Until the amputations, she was very active in the community. After them, she continued to live alone and whizzed about in her wheelchair all over the place.
Now her age has caught up with her which is very sad but she's ready to go.
So what am I trying to say here.... I don't know really, I just felt like putting it out there :)

[venusbluejeans]

I think you are trying to say that even if you do have an illness you fear then it doesn't necessarily mean it is a death sentence,or that your life is over...... but that life is what you make of it no matter what happens..... live life to the full and make the most of what you are given and most of all don't live in fear...... or thats how I read into your post anyway.

well done on looking after your friend...... friendships like that are amazing and i think you should be very proud of yourself for doing these things for her and feel privelaged to help this lady out when she really needs it xx

[jojo2316]

I love this story. I had a similar very dear friend, who died recently in her 90s having beaten cancer three times during her life (the first time, bowel cancer in her 40s). She had no family (had been an orphan raised in Bernardo’s), and as our neighbour she became an adopted granny. We loved her dearly, and her bravery, resilience, kindness and joy were an inspiration to us all. I was with her on the night she died, and she was peaceful and pain free - with no fear. It was a “good death”.

[MyNameIsTerry]

She sounds like a tough old lady, Phuzella. A real fighter.

Good on you and those friends stepping up to help her in her final years. I'm sure she will reatly appreciate it and I bet she is also constantly apolosiing for not being on top of everything herself as that's going to be the mindset of someone who is so used to just getting on with life.

I hope her final years are as pain free as possible.

[Fishmanpa]

So what am I trying to say here.... I don't know really, I just felt like putting it out there :)

"When life hands you lemons......" It does put things in perspective on this forum especially when you have people 80 years younger whining about dying of cancer they don't have.

Good on you for being here for her :)

Positive thoughts

[pulisa]

What a wonderful lady and good for you for taking care of her needs when she needs it most, Phuzella. You are a true friend to her.

People of her generation were made of strong stuff. I doubt whether she would have been offered any support during her various illnesses-you just had no option but to get on with it. Maybe there is too much emphasis on mental health today and less resilience when it comes to getting through the bad times.

[Phuzella]

Thank you for the nice comments :). My friend died on Tuesday. I saw her a few hours before she died and she was looking peaceful.
One thing she told me ages ago still makes me chuckle.... just before the amputations, she had her feet done by a chiropodist, very next day the surgeon said both legs had to come off. She said that was a right bloody waste of money (chiropodist ) ooh how we laughed :D.

[BlueIris]

I'm so sorry for your loss; she sounds like an amazing lady.

[Scass]

Sorry for your loss! She sounds like a very special lady x

[pulisa]

It's very sad but you made her final days more comfortable and she died peacefully which is all we can all hope for.

She obviously was a wonderful lady and you'll miss her very much, Phuzella. You were a very good friend to her x