Decco
13-07-19, 22:57
Hi guys and girls its been a while since i have posted here a year and a half to be exact but i find myself unfortunately returning. My anxiety steadily declined over time but now it seems to be coming back in full force. it has all started to hit me again as less than a month ago i finished my a-level exams, during the last week or two of the exams i felt sick and dizzy most of the time, having an an awfull panic before my Law contract exam paper where i completely broke down but managed to pull myself together and stop myself throwing up which took alot of doing as i had a big panic attack approximately 10mins before my exam. the day i finished my exams i felt massive releif and decided to go out drinking with my mates and consumed 7 pints of strongbow in under 2 hours which made me quite intoxicated and i also went to a bbq and had another 5 strongbows (however i am used to drinking large amounts when i go out and have never had any major symptoms of anxiety or possibly something else) when i woke up the next morning i felt ok, but slightly dizzy and put this down to just a hangover, the next day i also went out but was reluctant as i had started feeling dizzy and nauseous with a lack of balance which i put down to a problem in my ear (which it wasnt) during this party the day after i was also drinking and had a feeling quite suddenly that my body was split in half which felt weird (idk if it was just me thinking about it and focusing on it which made it real but irt did feel real) i have had this feeling a few times in the past so, put it down to anxiety the next few days i felt extreme panic and was in a constant cycle of panic about every little thing, i then started focussing on the feeling that the right side of my body was weaker than my left as this inbalance thing was making me feel weird(i have experienced muscular weakness in the right side of my face many times before at college whcih would result in a small panic attack as i think im having a stroke or something, this would normally pass when i left college and got a bus home, at the same time of this musclular weakness i would also suffer from a distorted thought process and would become paranoid, something when i was at college would also trigger me to become paranoid and feel ill constantly sometimes i would even convince myself that i had defecated or urinated and couldnt see it which would make me feel that people were looking and laughing at me when they obviously werent, due to this i would sometimes stop myself going out as i didnt feel like putting myself through the process again. back to the present problem, i then went to the doctors because o f this percieved weird feeling on the right side of my body and feeling off balance and nauseous in which my ears were fine and the simple neurological tests performed were also good i also had 2 ecgs which came back clear, however with tachcardia of 140 bpm in which i was then referered to A and E i then went and they did another ecg which was fine but i was having some palpitations and tachycardia in which i was then given diazepam which helped in lowering my heart rate and i was sent home, the underlying problem of this dizziness etc was thought to be the execssive drinking as i had been drinking everyday that week as it was my 18th. at the present i feel a major lack of motivation, have dizziness, nausea which comes and goes and my brain just feels weird like it is not working properly icluding a weird tension/dull headache right in the centre of my brain and i have been activbely thinking about my brain and coordination with movements and have become fixated that my right side of the body feels weird and that my brain is split down the middle which gives a weird feeling when i think about it, maybe i have become extremely hypersensitive and am creating these problems myself however this problem is constant whcih makes me feel that i have something very wrong going on like a brain tumor or a aneurysm, i also feel alot of the time that my brain is going to explode. i have suffered from DP/DR in the past and this doesnt feel like it. the only time that i had a break from these symptoms was last night where i sudenly felt a massive increase in my mood and actually felt good and these symptoms mostly went away for 5 mins then came back again, this is the first thing i think about when i wake up, so the feeling is basically constant, it is also worth mentioning that i dont go to college anymore so dont have much to do accept my part time job which is only 4 days a week whcih gives me a considerable amount of time to fixate on my symptoms which doesnt help, i am going to sort out my sleeping pattern as i have on a reguar basis been pulling all nighters however when these symptoms first started my sleep pattern was ok making me feel that it is unrelated, so am going to give it a bit longer then go back to my GP if things dont change as it is starting to ruin my life as i cant go out drinking when i feel like this as it will only make the problem worse i just want to be a average, normal 18 y/o but this problem is making this impossible, what are your opinions on this problem, do you think anxiety and stess from my exams may have caused this or a physical medical condition. if you want anymore details i am happy to explain, but it is probably worth saying that i sometimes dont feel anxious when i have these symptoms which makes me think it is a physical problem, thanks if you have read this substancially large block of text, i just want someone elses opinion as i dont want to talk to my parents about it as all they will say its gaming/a bad sleeping pattern etc and i also dont want a big hypochondriac sticker on my doctors notes, thanks. (problem started over 3 weeks ago) i go to uni to study law in september so i dont want these problems then and want some form of resolution.