PDA

View Full Version : Canít stop worrying about MND



Murphy93
16-07-19, 15:36
Hi all, I know I sound like a broken record just having a really bad day today - i have been twitching for 6 months now and I am going out of my mind Iím so worried I have MND at 29! My whole body seems to be aching on and off and I canít shake fear

I keep self testing myself daily to make sure I can lift weights and jump up stairs

Itís a nightmare

BlueIris
16-07-19, 15:38
Are you getting help for your anxiety?

Murphy93
16-07-19, 15:48
Hi Blue iris Iím currently on citolapram and was doing so well to be honest I stupidly read an article which has triggered me

Yourboymj99
16-07-19, 19:09
Hey Murphy93,

I'm sorry your worried. You might be best to weather this storm out and let it pass. You said you were doing well and the Citolapram was helping. But then you were triggered. I've alway felt meds were more of a bandage so to speak. They cover the wound but they will not heal the wound. You should really try to change your mindset in regards to your fear of MND. Try to start a new hobby, spend time with friends, maybe charity work. Anything that will help you move on and resist the urge to lookup and read anything that is going to trigger your fear. Before you know it it will be easier and your fear will be further behind you. I just feel anxiety is a part of a person and only that person can fix it. Good luck and take care.

Murphy93
16-07-19, 22:14
Hey Murphy93,

I'm sorry your worried. You might be best to weather this storm out and let it pass. You said you were doing well and the Citolapram was helping. But then you were triggered. I've alway felt meds were more of a bandage so to speak. They cover the wound but they will not heal the wound. You should really try to change your mindset in regards to your fear of MND. Try to start a new hobby, spend time with friends, maybe charity work. Anything that will help you move on and resist the urge to lookup and read anything that is going to trigger your fear. Before you know it it will be easier and your fear will be further behind you. I just feel anxiety is a part of a person and only that person can fix it. Good luck and take care.

Thank you for the support Yourboy Iím so down about how Iíve been feeling the past 7 months. Thought I was over it but guess Iím not - I genuinely feel Iíve put my body through so much stress Iím shaking Iím sore all over itís horrible yet still jump to als conclusions .

I know medication isnít always the answer I am definitely going to consider your advice!

its1111
06-08-19, 17:19
I have been twitching for almost a year as well...has yours let up at all? I had blood work, which came back fine. Now my dr. wants to send me to a neurologist, so I'm freaking out!

Murphy93
15-10-19, 22:27
Hi all, I hope you are doing good,

Itís been a while since Iíve posted and I honestly thought I was getting better,

Had a major set back today Iím terms of my anxiety and now I am again Analysing everything going on with my body.

I still have awful all over body tremors, twitching and muscle pain, got myself into such a state tonight back down the als route .

Spent the full night strength testing as usual, 10 months and counting - Iíve nearly wasted a whole year of my life on this worry .

Sorry for going on just hoping someone was able to lend some words of wisdom for me tonight or some tough love actually!

Carys
15-10-19, 22:35
10 months of thinking you have ALS ? Well, by now you'd probably be using a wheelchair is you had ALS ! You don't have it, and never did have it, and to be frank with you (you wanted tough love lol) wasting every single evening strength testing is astonishing, aren't you bored of it by now all that testing ? Even people with ALS don't waste every evening testing or worrying about their condition, meaning most are living a better quality of life than you. There is no ALS, what there is are 'pure and simple' physical symptoms of anxiety.

Yourboymj99
16-10-19, 05:25
Hey Murphy,

Im sorry to hear you've had a setback and fell back into the hole. Remember, it's only a setback. It happens. Body tremors, twitching and muscle pain are all common symptoms of anxiety. I've got a broad knowledge of the neuromuscular system due to my profession and trust me, you do not have ALS. I've even had a few setbacks. Someone will ask me "how can you suffer from health anxiety" with the work you do? Like I said before, it's a part of me and from time to time anxiety will catch me off guard and I have to work through it. Just like most everyone else on this forum. Picture yourself not reacting to the feelings you've been experiencing. Go grab a drink with a friend or go visit your family. Start a new hobby or anything to keep you busy and not so focused on what you feel and fear. Live like you feel great and you will start to feel great. Hang in there, this will pass. Your going to be fine.

Take care

Murphy93
16-10-19, 22:15
A big thank you to you both for replying! It really does mean so much and I more than needed that tough love Carys Lol!

Hi your boy itís comforting to know you have experience in this profession and I really appreciate your words,

I went to the gym this morning and worked out for an hour - I gave it my all and boy do I feel better for doing so

Itís so easy to get wrapped up in the thoughts of my head that I forgot how to function normally

Guess I will just need to take this one day at a time and hopefully slowly recover from this

Carys
17-10-19, 07:20
I went to the gym this morning and worked out for an hour - I gave it my all and boy do I feel better for doing so

It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the thoughts of my head that I forgot how to function normally

Guess I will just need to take this one day at a time and hopefully slowly recover from this

Wow, well done you - I think you are making brilliant progress on 'recovering from it' already. A get up and go attitude and distraction are the best attributes needed at this time.

Murphy93
27-10-19, 21:36
Having a bad night tonight read an article in the news which has triggered me now I am in a panic .

I wish I could stop worrying about this but I donít know how to

Murphy93
27-10-19, 22:21
Is anyone available to chat - Iím having a bit of a panic attack tonight and need tips to calm down

Murphy93
23-11-19, 01:27
Hi all

Just having a real bad couple of days Again and I am absolutely fed up Of living my life like this.

I have literally been worried sick since the end of January this year that I have MND and here I am ...still here!

Iím so angry at myself for letting this get on top of me, some days I am doing so well and then thereís days where I just want to fall apart.

Iím dragging myself through life at the moment and just donít know what to do, I donít know how to get it in my head that I am ok ?

For people that I have been down this rabbit hole , how does it end please let me know how you did it and got out the other side,

Healthy anxiety is winning again at the moment and my anxiety is becoming a full time job, I am In tears alone on a Friday night.

ErinKC
23-11-19, 03:33
I got out with therapy. I was as far down as I could go and that's what got me out. And work. You can't stop working on it. I have seen a therapist on and off since 2015 and now have one I see once a month to stay on top of things. I wouldn't have made it through without that. I also know many, many people who are incredibly successful with medication. Either way, start by either talking to your doctor or looking into therapists. Don't expect you can do this alone.

BlueIris
23-11-19, 05:51
Drugs, CBT and bloody-mindedness. I had to hit the point where the desire to not be miserable outweighed the fear.

Murphy93
23-11-19, 22:24
Thank you for replying to me , I think itís time I seek professional help and medication I see no way out from this

ErinKC
24-11-19, 04:26
Thank you for replying to me , I think itís time I seek professional help and medication I see no way out from this

Yes - there is no reason to take your mental health any less seriously than your physical health. Just like sometimes we get illnesses that our body is able to fight off on its own and other times we need to see professional help or take medication, sometimes our mental/emotional health reaches a point where we can't recover on our own. There are so many resources out there and no reason to keep needlessly suffering!! Good luck!!

Murphy93
28-11-19, 00:48
I am suffering a serious setback and I donít know what to do with myself I can feel a panic attack coming on and i am alone myself not sure how to stop it.

I honestly canít stop worrying about MND - itís taken 11 months of my life now and I am a mess still, Iím not sure how I can continue like this .

Really think Iím at my rock bottom

BackRoads
28-11-19, 01:25
What symptoms are you experiencing? Sorry to hear you are going through this. Healthy anxiety sucks.

Murphy93
28-11-19, 01:30
Hi back roads thank you for replying to me , Iím literally at my wits end with this.

All over twitching for 11 months now! Canít shift it canít seem to think itís anything else other than this scary illness,

Now Iím having the classic symptoms of an anxiety attack and just trying to get myself back under control :(

BackRoads
28-11-19, 02:55
I've been twitching for over 3 years. It sucks. Wish we could find a remedy. So far, I haven't found anything that clearly helps.

Scaredtoo
29-11-19, 18:06
Yes yes yes. Been where you are. Finally sought medication and am on meds and I see my therapist weekly. Itís a miserable feeling. I just got to the point where I felt like I owed it to my family to be the best me. Get some help. It will help you. In the meantime start by reading some of the free CBT books on here. You can get better. And when you are better you can relapse. But learning how to cope when the shadows creep in makes a huge difference

Elsa_Alkaseltzer
30-11-19, 00:41
I really feel for you and can relate to your post. I’m going through a terrible time right now and wonder each day how I’m going to make it through. I am scheduled to start seeing an OCD therapist next week. But I am still sure I have a particular disease and can’t imagine ever being free from it. I wish I had good advice ... I would say to certainly look into meds and therapy, because your life is worth fighting for. Here’s hoping we can find peace.

BackRoads
30-11-19, 18:42
Yes yes yes. Been where you are. Finally sought medication and am on meds and I see my therapist weekly. Itís a miserable feeling. I just got to the point where I felt like I owed it to my family to be the best me. Get some help. It will help you. In the meantime start by reading some of the free CBT books on here. You can get better. And when you are better you can relapse. But learning how to cope when the shadows creep in makes a huge difference

If you don't mind my asking, what type of medication helped you the most?

Scaredtoo
30-11-19, 20:47
If you don't mind my asking, what type of medication helped you the most?
No I donít mind at all. Currently Iím on Wellbutrin and Zoloft together. Now I know some people
Question this combo as one can amp up your anxiety but for me itís the right combo. It literally keeps me from shutting down. Like right now Iím very panicked and scared about something but Iím still able to function and be somewhat rational without going off the rails. I also have Ativan and Xanax as needed but I really try to avoid taking those unless Iím having a full blown panic meltdown

Murphy93
01-12-19, 13:10
Hi all thanks for the replies , I hate that we are all feeling like this but itís nice we can support each other, anxiety is an awful awful burden . I have had a terrible month and I donít even know why . Have managed to get my fears some what under control then it just comes back with a vengeance . Today first day of a new month and I am going to try and enjoy this festive season ! I agree regarding medication I think I may visit docs - Iíve avoided them for 11 months now but may have to give in and ask for help . I started the cbt work books last night many thanks for the tips . I feel like I have leg myself down by getting in such a state this year. I have literally wasted the whole year worrying about a rare disease . I remember stupidly googling on the 1st January 2019 and Almost a year later here I am . Iíve spent most of my time consumed with these thoughts and just surviving rather than enjoying life I cannot go into another year like that

Murphy93
09-12-19, 22:44
Iím under immense stress just now and feel that my anxiety is crippling me . The one I am struggling with big time is the all over twitching and internal vibration feeling.

Does anyone have any success stories of how they beat these symptoms,

I feel like Iím at breaking point, I live alone with no one to talk to and really am feeling so down about life itís reducing me to tears every night. Iím so worked up

BackRoads
11-12-19, 18:39
Iím under immense stress just now and feel that my anxiety is crippling me . The one I am struggling with big time is the all over twitching and internal vibration feeling.

Does anyone have any success stories of how they beat these symptoms,

I feel like Iím at breaking point, I live alone with no one to talk to and really am feeling so down about life itís reducing me to tears every night. Iím so worked up

Sorry you are going through this. I wish we could find more success stories. I've been struggling with this for over 3 years. My anxiety is sky high.

Murphy93
17-12-19, 00:29
Iíve had a terrible past couple of days , feel like Iím never going to get out of this rabbit hole - this is the worst I have ever felt, and itís coming up to a year now. A whole year wasted .

Iím so tense and terrified all the time and the twitching is still there after 11 months .

Had another panic attack last night and honestly could just burst into tears .

I am going to go back to my doctor tomorrow as I canít continue like this

The ALS rabbit hole is one the worst and i am still convinced something serious is going on .

Has anyone had experience of twitching for this long and had any success stories ?

Fishmanpa
17-12-19, 02:27
Has anyone had experience of twitching for this long and had any success stories ?

Not one of any of the ALS posters has ever actually had it :winks:

Positive thoughts

Murphy93
17-12-19, 21:29
Thanks Fishmanpa ☺️ I really do hate that I get myself into this awful state sometimes .i hope I can get Over this

Murphy93
22-12-19, 12:43
So today marks a whole year of worrying . One whole year ago I started to obsess over MND and I am ashamed to say I still am .

Having a bit of a panicky morning and I wish I could move on with my life

Please someone tell me straight

Elen
22-12-19, 14:16
Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.

Elen

Murphy93
31-12-19, 05:33
Hi all

I am really struggling I mean really really struggling with this fear and have done for one year now,

I am lying wide awake and been looking thorough the archives for some comfort. I see a lot of users posting ď I had this fear years ago - I remember having the fear ď

My question is how do you get over it ? How do I make it a distant memory. Is it the passage of time

I have been twitching for one year now and my anxiety is literally sky high Iíve been barely living just getting through each day Iím so nervous al the time and feel so sick . I barely want to plan for the future .

Any words of wisdom would be truly welcomed I donít want to go into another year like this - I also turn 30 this year and would love to not be in this mess .

BlueIris
31-12-19, 08:51
Honestly? You acknowledge its existence and then you redirect your attention towards something more positive and productive. At first, you might have to do it several times a minute, but time will make it easier.

If you're not already on meds, an antidepressant can really help if it's too tough to manage on your own.

nomorepanic
31-12-19, 11:28
Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your issue.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

Please also read this post:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=213239

nomorepanic
31-12-19, 13:14
Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.

It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.

Murphy93
31-12-19, 13:20
Honestly? You acknowledge its existence and then you redirect your attention towards something more positive and productive. At first, you might have to do it several times a minute, but time will make it easier.

If you're not already on meds, an antidepressant can really help if it's too tough to manage on your own.

Thank you for the reply Blue Iris I appreciate it :)

Fishmanpa
31-12-19, 13:32
Thank you for the reply Blue Iris I appreciate it :)

Why not show your appreciation and act on the pages of advice you've received throughout the last year?

Positive thoughts

Murphy93
01-01-20, 21:11
Why not show your appreciation and act on the pages of advice you've received throughout the last year?

Positive thoughts

I agree I totally should and I am so grateful to the guys on here for the advice yourself included :)

Wish my brain would just accept it for what it is

I hope no one thinks Iím ignorant or ignoring previous advise I am just so lost In this rabbit hole that I donít know how to get out .

Adam1987
02-01-20, 14:42
I'm with you mate. My worries started after I injured my neck in July and my arms started going funny. Coming up to 6 months now. Last few weeks my legs have been aching and getting weird tingling and burning sensations too. Now I just ache all over in my limbs. I seemingly have tennis elbow in both arms and have my legs just cramp up all the time now. The anxiety turns to depression. I dont know how to stop it. I've recently started taking mirtazapine which helps with my sleep but I think it makes the aches worse. I twitch all over too. Sometimes I feel like I'm just waiting for a limb to go limp. I've read the sticky on here and it reassures me as I'm in pain and that points to anxiety more than anything but the reassurance doesn't last long. Hope this year is better for you.

Murphy93
02-01-20, 17:03
Hi Adam

I totally know how you feel, itís exhausting waiting for something to happen ( which probably wonít happen lol )

I totally know how you feel thatís me a year now of twitching , today my muscles are sore and burning but I am telling myself itís anxiety and lack of sleep.

Itís crazy how the mind controls the body, I genuinely believe it can produce symptoms of the disease you fear - it happened to me seven years ago and no surprises it never came to anything .

I am going to go to the Doctors and ask for some medication as I donít think I could endure another year like the last . Itís mentally draining and totally hindering my quality of life .

Logic, research and this forum tells me we are both fine after such a long period of time but hey itís anxiety right that would be too easy for us to accept :)

I hope you feel better and get over this soon you really donít want to waste a year like myself :( itís devastating to look back on now in hindsight .

I remember telling myself 6 months ago once I got to that stage I would stop worrying and I have just continued to expand the time frame

Surrounding myself with family and friends has been a good distraction for me as I hardly notice my symptoms, I also have been working out daily thatís a great stress reliever

Anyway feel free to message me whenever you are struggling because I totally sympathise .

TK09
02-01-20, 17:43
Hi Murphy93,

Firstly I am sorry you are feeling these things. I was also worrying about MND, I actually booked an appointment with my GP and went this morning. I am in my mid 30's, pretty healthy and fit. She didn't even do a physical on me as she knew straight away it wasn't a neurological disease. She even said to me in her 27years of practising medicine that she has only ever encountered ONE case of MND. I was just going through some pretty rough general anxiety symptoms and a tired mind was easy to deceive with DR.GOOGLE! I really do suggest you stay off the internet. It fuelled my obsession with symptoms and sensations and illnesses. I also think if you haven't already read it, then give this thread a read. https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?232384-ALS-and-why-you-DON-T-have-it!&highlight=fear+als It really did help me to understand. As the post suggests, MND is about failure and not failing. So if you are twitching and this is the only symptom, then it is highly unlikely that you have MND. MND is about the nerves that talk to the muscles to tell them to move. From what I understand MND effects the link between the brain and the muscles. When the links dies then so does the connection from the brain to that associated muscle. As suggested in the article:

I really suggest you speak to your GP and look at getting some help to control and aid your recovery from health anxiety as it sounds like you are really stressed and anxious. I have been there buddy, like I said only today I went to the GP for the EXACT same reasons (and to also get signed up to CBT - which was the main reason for me going). I have minor twitching and my legs and arms felt weak. I feel ashamed to have gone to the GP and share my concerns about MND to be honest. I know there are people out there really suffering with MND :( Anxiety is a selfish thing sometimes, but thats why we have forums like this so we can all pull together and try help eachother :) it'll all be ok.

Murphy93
02-01-20, 18:08
Hi TK09

Thank you so much for this message, itís kind of you to offer your thoughts

Iím so sorry you had been going through this too it really is hell ! I am only 29 and otherwise fit and healthy so really I know I should be feeling like the odds are in my favour .

Thatís exactly how I feel with regards to being embarrassed I am embarrassed to tell my gp I am suffering with this fear I feel quite selfish about it but I feel I have to go down and just admit I am struggling!

Iíve never spoke to anyone about how I am feeling and itís exhausting keeping it to myself while trying to function normally In the real world .

Iím making an appointment tomrorow and hopefully I get the same response as you did :)

Thanks for reaching out to me itís nice to not have to suffer alone

TK09
02-01-20, 18:19
Hi TK09

Thank you so much for this message, it’s kind of you to offer your thoughts

I’m so sorry you had been going through this too it really is hell ! I am only 29 and otherwise fit and healthy so really I know I should be feeling like the odds are in my favour .

That’s exactly how I feel with regards to being embarrassed I am embarrassed to tell my gp I am suffering with this fear I feel quite selfish about it but I feel I have to go down and just admit I am struggling!

I’ve never spoke to anyone about how I am feeling and it’s exhausting keeping it to myself while trying to function normally In the real world .

I’m making an appointment tomrorow and hopefully I get the same response as you did :)

Thanks for reaching out to me it’s nice to not have to suffer alone


I am only 3years older than you, so our situations are not too dissimilar. Don't feel embarrassed. We are all different and we all function differently. Humans though were not designed to deal with chronic stress, it really can be detrimental to our physical health in the long run. Not trying to scare anybody, just stating facts. So the key thing is to really work on reducing the stress we cause ourselves by chronically worrying about health. Talking about it and focusing on how to stop the chronic worry is a great start, and the GP will really help you. Have you heard or read a book called the worry trick? I highly recommend it. It really helped me in my initial stages of chronic health worry. :)

Murphy93
02-01-20, 18:29
I am only 3years older than you, so our situations are not too dissimilar. Don't feel embarrassed. We are all different and we all function differently. Humans though were not designed to deal with chronic stress, it really can be detrimental to our physical health in the long run. Not trying to scare anybody, just stating facts. So the key thing is to really work on reducing the stress we cause ourselves by chronically worrying about health. Talking about it and focusing on how to stop the chronic worry is a great start, and the GP will really help you. Have you heard or read a book called the worry trick? I highly recommend it. It really helped me in my initial stages of chronic health worry. :)

I havenít heard of that one! Funny you should say that as I was googling some self help books to order so might give that one a go to try and get back on track :) thank you!

Totally agree with the stress doing some damage I already have chronic hypertension which I have to take meds for they say itís genetic but I think living with chronic anxiety really has spiked it !

Adam1987
02-01-20, 18:35
Thanks Murphy. I've suffered with HA for a fair few years now and only in the last month have taken the plunge with medicine. It used to be cancers and what not but MND really kicked off my anxiety like never before 6 months ago. I take mirtazapine which is kind of like a strong antihistamine and it really helps with sleeping. I was doing CBT but had to change GP and haven't rearranged a new therapist but I dont think it helped me a great deal but people do talk about different therapists help different people. The doctor I saw before Xmas who put me in these tablets took a look at me when I mentioned i was worried about MND/MS and he took one look at me and said you dont look like someone with those conditions. I've seen countless other health professionals in the last 6 months as well who have done various physical tests on me and had no concerns, and this was sometimes because of ongoing neck and back issues but the same tests are done for neurological conditions. That said the what if factor always creeps in and it's hard to quieten down. I have the arches, tingling and weakness in all limbs but logic tells me things dont work like that in all limbs it would be concentrated to one. But logic only usually has a smaller voice in our minds unfortunately.

Fishmanpa
02-01-20, 23:10
But logic only usually has a smaller voice in our minds unfortunately.

The positive takeaway from what I've seen posted is the self-awareness of what the real culprit is here. Yes, the dragon is going to breath fire down your neck any chance he gets BUT, you recognize it as anxiety and still hear that smaller voice.

Consider yourselves fortunate that you still hear that voice as many here have allowed the dragon to cause hearing loss :whistles: For many people that practice faith, the "Still Small Voice" (https://www.gotquestions.org/still-small-voice.html) is that smidgen of hope and reason. It's those reasons and hopes we need to grab onto with both hands when things seem to be out of our control.

Positive thoughts