nick1994
16-07-19, 23:12
I've had the single worst night for anxiety that I've ever had tonight. It's been shocking. Long story short, I'm an Australian who moved to England last year and is now heading home because it's easier to access good mental health care at home and I desperately need it.
I've recently (intentionally) lost 4 stone 7 pounds (30kg) and now weigh 80kg. I don't smoke. I don't drink alcohol. I've cut caffeine entirely from my diet. Of course, anxiety lingers because I haven't had the right support as it has worsened while living in the UK.
I've had what doctors have suspected is white coat hypertension as I have a phobia of getting my blood pressure measured. When the thing goes off, I go full blown panic mode and I can't stop it. Exposure therapy kind of works but yeah... It's a tough one. I just hate it. As you can imagine, my blood pressure is ALWAYS high. Except this one time, when the doctor told me I was fine before checking it so I was in an instant state of relaxation. That one time, it came back 120/80.
Recently, my doctor suggested I get a take-home monitor to measure where I'm at. I've done that tonight and it's running high again (yay for anxiety when it goes off).
It is all I can think about and I cannot relax when it goes off. This is ruining my life. I'm too scared to exercise properly, too scared to fly in case I have a god damn aneurysm due to it, I'm living my life in fear.
I have an appointment again tomorrow but this is just killing me. :weep:
I've recently (intentionally) lost 4 stone 7 pounds (30kg) and now weigh 80kg. I don't smoke. I don't drink alcohol. I've cut caffeine entirely from my diet. Of course, anxiety lingers because I haven't had the right support as it has worsened while living in the UK.
I've had what doctors have suspected is white coat hypertension as I have a phobia of getting my blood pressure measured. When the thing goes off, I go full blown panic mode and I can't stop it. Exposure therapy kind of works but yeah... It's a tough one. I just hate it. As you can imagine, my blood pressure is ALWAYS high. Except this one time, when the doctor told me I was fine before checking it so I was in an instant state of relaxation. That one time, it came back 120/80.
Recently, my doctor suggested I get a take-home monitor to measure where I'm at. I've done that tonight and it's running high again (yay for anxiety when it goes off).
It is all I can think about and I cannot relax when it goes off. This is ruining my life. I'm too scared to exercise properly, too scared to fly in case I have a god damn aneurysm due to it, I'm living my life in fear.
I have an appointment again tomorrow but this is just killing me. :weep: