Ugh, aging isn't for wimps, now my mom has skin cancer

[lofwyr]

It is amazing how much time I wasted with HA when I was young, and honestly had little to worry about. These days, as I push 50, and my parents push 80, it seems like a new medical drama every few months, and none of them imagined.

My mom was diagnosed today with Squamous Cell carcinoma on her nose. I know it has a great prognosis. They weren't even worried and she will have it shaven off with MOHS surgery. SCC on the nose almost never travels wider in the body. She has had it for about seven months. The thing is, I know she will be fine, or at least, sincerely believe she will be. I know as far as cancer goes, this one isn't a big deal. Only one in 280 people who get it die from it.

And the truth is, while I am not really worried about her health, I know she is older and honestly doesn't process information like she used to. She heard "cancer" and got pretty scared. I talked her off the ledge a bit, using things my CBT taught me. I was happy to be able to help ease her anxiety.

But now, selfishly, the HA is niggling at the back of my mind, those obsessive thoughts coming to the foreground. I recognize them, but I feel like a firefighter putting out little spreading ember, the fire be catastrophic thinking and projection. I am proud of myself for seeing it in advance, before this whole thing swallows me, that is real progress. But I am irritated I feel any anxiety at all, and ashamed of how I put it on myself.

But then I have a derm appointment next month, and I have a physical next week. I have a rough, darker spot on the side of my nose, like an age spot that is chronically dry. It is likely an Actinic Keratois, as I have seen them before on my folks and friends etc. Not a big deal. And just like that, the catastrophic thinking turns in on myself, selfishly focused on me.

I have felt real progress, and backslides almost simultaneously tonight since her phone call.

It is amazing how you can make real progress with this mental illness, but as I get older, I feel like it is learning to live with a chronic condition more than something I will ever truly be "cured" of.

[Flapj]

Reminds me of something I realized recently: when we are little our parents worry about us and care for us but later in life the roles swap. It’s a stress inducing event for sure but deep down you know that you and your mom will be fine.

[jj1995]

I find it really interesting to hear this i am 23 and i always wonder will i ever get a chance to grow old!
I think sometimes you have to realise how far you have come, and nothing has happened to you for all of that time so that should be reasuring in itself.
As for me i always find it a huge insperation to know that people can live through this. I have heart palpitations and it does knock me back but when i read that people have had them for 30-40 years it really does calm me down a lot!

[Fishmanpa]

I'm 60.... I had to chuckle at the thread title :whistles: It all comes down to attitude. Shit is going to happen. That's life.

Positive thoughts

[MyNameIsTerry]

Sorry to hear about this, lofwyr.

My dad had one of these skin cancers on his nose about 5 years ago. I don't know if it's the same type, there are several I know and I can't remember which is was now, but the specialist said it was very common in older people who have spent long periods of their lives in the sun e.g. road workers. My dad spent about 35+ years as a landscape gardener and is very brown from it. The specialist also said that it's very common and treatment was very successful.

They whipped it off and attached what looked like an orange ping pong ball over the wound while it healed. He didn't opt for plastic surgery as in his own words "like it matters at my age". It was noticeable for the first year but after that it just blends in more as skin colour changes to match. But no issues and none expected and the only thing he was advised to do was wear high factor sunblock on that area in strong sun.

So, I'm hoping it's the same kind of thing for your mum and all will be well again soon.

Don't beat yourself up if you feel your anxiety raise, it's natural for anyone without anxiety. What matters is that you keep control of it and you are their for your mum which I'm sure will easily be your priority. This place is here if you want to vent or get some support with the anxiety to keep it away from family members but I get the impression you have good control of it anyway with your health conditions.

[lofwyr]

Thanks guys. She scheduled her MOHS surgery, no one on the professional side is worried at all. I am pretty optimistic, thanks again for the support. I really do appreciate each and every one of you.

=)

[BlueIris]

I haven't had Moh's myself, but I did a lot of reading up when I had basal cell and it's incredibly clever technology.

Best of luck to your mother!

[lofwyr]

As an update to this, she did fine, they got it all, and life is good. It looks like it might be my turn this week, getting some dodgy stuff biopsied, may have matching Mother son Moh's nose surgeries this year. Just what we always wanted. Like a parent child spa day only less fun. ;-)

[bin tenn]

As an update to this, she did fine, they got it all, and life is good. It looks like it might be my turn this week, getting some dodgy stuff biopsied, may have matching Mother son Moh's nose surgeries this year. Just what we always wanted. Like a parent child spa day only less fun. ;-)

I'm glad it went well for her, that's great news! My dad also had a cancerous lesion removed from his nose, as others here have also shared about themselves or parents, many years ago. He was fine once it was removed, never was an issue again.

[MyNameIsTerry]

That's great news about your mum :yesyes:yahoo:

I hope all goes well for you too.

[WiseMonkey]

It is amazing how much time I wasted with HA when I was young, and honestly had little to worry about. These days, as I push 50, and my parents push 80, it seems like a new medical drama every few months, and none of them imagined.

My mom was diagnosed today with Squamous Cell carcinoma on her nose. I know it has a great prognosis. They weren't even worried and she will have it shaven off with MOHS surgery. SCC on the nose almost never travels wider in the body. She has had it for about seven months. The thing is, I know she will be fine, or at least, sincerely believe she will be. I know as far as cancer goes, this one isn't a big deal. Only one in 280 people who get it die from it.

And the truth is, while I am not really worried about her health, I know she is older and honestly doesn't process information like she used to. She heard "cancer" and got pretty scared. I talked her off the ledge a bit, using things my CBT taught me. I was happy to be able to help ease her anxiety.

But now, selfishly, the HA is niggling at the back of my mind, those obsessive thoughts coming to the foreground. I recognize them, but I feel like a firefighter putting out little spreading ember, the fire be catastrophic thinking and projection. I am proud of myself for seeing it in advance, before this whole thing swallows me, that is real progress. But I am irritated I feel any anxiety at all, and ashamed of how I put it on myself.

But then I have a derm appointment next month, and I have a physical next week. I have a rough, darker spot on the side of my nose, like an age spot that is chronically dry. It is likely an Actinic Keratois, as I have seen them before on my folks and friends etc. Not a big deal. And just like that, the catastrophic thinking turns in on myself, selfishly focused on me.

I have felt real progress, and backslides almost simultaneously tonight since her phone call.

It is amazing how you can make real progress with this mental illness, but as I get older, I feel like it is learning to live with a chronic condition more than something I will ever truly be "cured" of.

Hi I know your mum will be fine as SCC is curable if caught early. I've had it on my shoulder last year which was completely removed. I've have Actinic Keratosis on my scalp and a bit more that's recently come up. I think the best thing is keeping on top of it, which you are doing.

I hear where you're coming from in regards to your HA, I feel pretty much the same way, I feel so ashamed of my HA behaviour and my poor partner has to put up with me which he does, because he loves me. As I said on another post (at 62) the skin cancer thing is going to be my long term, ongoing project...I feel confident about this because I'm in good hands. We have wonderful skin specialists in New Zealand as the incidence of SK is so great, especially if you're fair skinned.

I love your attitude :)