View Full Version : Necraphobia - Fear of Dying
kah16121985
18-09-07, 22:18
I have recently become anxious thinking that i am going to die and i am finding really hard to cope with.
Does anyone suffer with the same or have any ideas how i can start dealing with it and living life again?
Please help!
nomorepanic
18-09-07, 22:22
Hi and welcome
What makes you think you are going to die ? Is it an illness or feeling?
We have to live each day as it comes and yes we are all going to die in the end. What do you fear the most?
kah16121985
18-09-07, 22:32
Hi Nic,
It all started about a month ago i was due to fly to Ibiza and 2 weeks before decided a couldnt do it cos the plane would crash and i was going to die. I was then paying more attention to all the shootings and stabbings that have been going on and now find myself looking at the BBC news all the time to find out if something has happened in my area.
Now i find a cant sleep cos i think i wont wae up and also leaving my mum and partner that makes me feel 100 times worse. My grandmother has just gome in hospital to have a hugh operation on her hip which i now should be fine but i cant help but think the worst id going to happen.
I am just about coping with my normal things like work but i have no social life cos i am scared to go out.
nomorepanic
18-09-07, 22:48
So is it more a fear of others dying and not necessarily you?
What thoughts come to mind - is it that you won't cope etc?
Do you believe in the afterlife at all?
kah16121985
18-09-07, 22:54
Its about me or anyone close dying.
Im not sure what comes into my mind cos im to worried about what is going to happen that i dont think what will i do if it happened.
Im not sure if i believe in afterlife or not but the thought of it just makes me worry.
Thing is i am 21 years old and have convinced myself i must be mad as i have never experienced anything like this before and no one understands. My mum has suffered with anxiety for years but i feel that mine is different as i cant get on with life and am just constantly worried bad things are going to happen.
Im not sure what i can do to fight it. I face situtations all day where i walk around in public and think to myself that the likelyhood of anything happening is pretty slim but i just feel as tho i cant do it anymore.
Well your not mad kah16121985, you've just thought about something that as frightened you and now you are focusing on it all the time. Believe me, most of us have been through the same thing - it happened to me when I was 19. The only thing I can say is that you have to try and find something positive to think about that will counteract your negative thoughts of dying, and just except there's nothing you can do - it's what life's all about. Take me for instance. All my friends that I grew up with have all died now. I'm only 58 now, but i'm overweight, don't get no exercise, eat all the wrong food, and I smoke like a chimney. If I where a house, I'd have a condemned sign on me lol. My time could be up at anytime. But I ain't going to worry about it because every second of life counts and I ain't gonna waste one bit of it.
Tom
KAH hi:)
Sorry to hear your feeling like this............. me too. I have had a fear of DEATH for years.
Useless person that i am though i can't give any advice coz i am still the same:lac:
Just wanted you to know that there are others that feel the same even tho that will be no comfort but hope this hug will be :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
kah16121985
20-09-07, 09:18
Nanny,
How do you manage with it tho cos i am really struggling?
Was your brought on by anything inparticular? xx
Hi KAH
well, i have my earliest memory of being scared of dying when i was 3....... i remember running out to the kitchen and throwing myself at my mum and screaming "i don't want to die"
The only thing i think could have bought this on was, just before this my mum was expecting twins (there was me and an elder sister at the time and stilll is) i remember mum going off to hospital to have the babies and i was sitting outside washing my dolls clothes for our new babies only for mum to come home a few days later to say both babies (2 boys) died after 2 days.
Being only 3 at the time i can't really remember thinking anything then but thats what must have bought it on. It wore off then came back with a vengance when i was older about 14 i suppose when i had a nervous breakdown.
I did see someone once a therapist who said i had to repeat things over in my head time and time again every time i thought about dying and after about 6 weeks of doing this i suddenly realised i hadn't been thinking about it. I was told to say in my mind the folllowing things.....
I will die one day but hopefully not for a long time so i'm not going to worry about it..........
I could have a heart attack but maybe not so i'll deal with that if i have too.
I could get C but hopefully not so i'll worry about that if it happens.
I know they sound funny sayings but they honestly did work for me at the time. I think it's now because i am getting older (48) that i'm worrying about it again.
Maybe i ought to practice what i preach and do it again myself :wacko: :wacko:
i also have a fear of dying although now i see it as if you die then you die but dieing may be a good thing there could be something amazing beyond death who knows? and if some one close to you dies then you mourn and then you have to move on it happens everywere and everyone goes through it all over the world everyday and they always get over it it is just a fact of life nothing lasts forever but my way of coping when these wadering thoughts enterd my head was to invest great money on an mp3 player to blast the thoughts out :yesyes:
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/11/11_1_220.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZCxdm860YYGB) http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/18/18_1_34.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZCxdm860YYGB) http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_14_6.gif (http://www.smileycentral.com/?partner=ZSzeb001_ZCxdm860YYGB) o pink you to young think like that you got a life to lead have children get married have a carrer you are only young try enjoy your life tc xxxxxxxxxxx
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Definetely suffer with this terrible. Never realised how common it was.. :ohmy:
It pops in my head at the most unusual times, the most absurd times snd I try hard to get it out of my head - Sometimes my mind wanders.. it also affects me in the way that I think family will.
It is obviously a big thing in panic but also people who are physically ill too :weep:
At least we are not alone in our feelings.
A :shades:
memyselfandi
23-09-07, 21:27
Hi Nic,
It all started about a month ago i was due to fly to Ibiza and 2 weeks before decided a couldnt do it cos the plane would crash and i was going to die. I was then paying more attention to all the shootings and stabbings that have been going on and now find myself looking at the BBC news all the time to find out if something has happened in my area.
Now i find a cant sleep cos i think i wont wae up and also leaving my mum and partner that makes me feel 100 times worse. My grandmother has just gome in hospital to have a hugh operation on her hip which i now should be fine but i cant help but think the worst id going to happen.
I am just about coping with my normal things like work but i have no social life cos i am scared to go out.
Hi
I started with your symptoms last year. My dad had a mild heart attack some years ago at Xmas. We were just about to have a third child and I had been stressed out with our first child because he developed breathing problems and was in hospital on and off for 3 years. I believe My father been ill and the iminent birth of my third son had caused my anxiety to peak and I ended up in A&E for the night thinking I was having a heart attack. I blamed all the bad news on TV. I stopped watching the news and still to this date avoid it as they seem to be doom mongers. I also stay away from anything that causes me undue stress. I think of something else when i find myself thinking of doom and gloom. I started meditation which is excellent. I have even, never been known before, started studying buddhism as a way to distract me and help me come to terms with the feelings of dying. I think making it clear in your own head does help you cope. If you keep burrying it it scares the living hell out of you. I now meditate on death and feel greatfull for every day when I wake up. It may seem strange but I realised that we expect to live until were old and grey in the west, we have stopped thinking about death and only think about life, only problem is when someone dies close to you it hits you harder as you are not ready for it. In actual fact it is a miricle that any of us are here. I think in your case it is just like me when your general anxiety level goes up you bein to start thinking the worse. Try reading some of my other threads they may seem similar to what you are experiencing.
Hope this Helps. It did for me.
Mark
alan carter
30-10-07, 18:49
I also had a fear of dying - more like a terror and felt that I couldn’t even explain it to anyone. I thought if I told someone else how I felt that they would probably also start to feel the same.
This terror for ‘my own mortality’ lasted from about the age of 12 to around 45 when I finally managed to explain my fear to my partner who was a 'person centred' counsellor. Until then I thought that I was the only person on the planet with this terror. That was ten years ago and I’ve been fine since with no recurring panic attacks. (touch wood!)
It was the fear of ‘oblivion or ceasing to exist’ that really got to me, coupled with the fact that there was absolutely nothing that I could do about it. I could always rationalise to myself that there was nothing to fear because if I was dead I wouldn’t even know about it. This may have provided some logical comfort but at a deep existential level every cell in my body wanted to avoid death. Life was like some sort of sick joke - and this ride had one way out -oblivion. I eventually resigned myself to the fact that I would experience panic attacks and terror until death itself helped me out. I tried to accept that this fear would be lurking in the shadows and jumping out every so often.
It's difficult to explain what happened to change things but since being able to fully explain my problem to my partner and really feel understood the fear has gone. I still don’t like the idea of my death but the terror has gone and can fully enjoy life a lot more as a result.
I am now a Clinical Hypnotherapist and think hypnotherapy provides a great tool for working with all phobias. Strangely, I have yet to treat a patient with ‘death phobia’ but think my experience of conquering this problem would help.
For anyone suffering this phobia, I would give the following tips.
1. This is a very natural fear but by bottling it up it gets more powerful until it explodes in a panic attack. Try and talk to someone about it. Find a counsellor/therapist who can actually listen and understand your experience.
2. As with all phobias, breathing slowly from the diaphragm will stop the panic attack escalating and practice relaxation/meditation. Oh yes, and TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT!!!
You can feel much more comfortable.
Good luck & don't give up.
~Terrified of death~
15-07-08, 02:38
I've had a fear of dying ever since i was a little gurl, about 4 years old. I've always feared not living, being just breathless, suffocating, being burned just it all ending. I've always heard the world is going to end, now that i'm oldewr i read about all that stuff...It really scares me. I've done research on it and every day i picture all the ways the world can end, so painfull. I fear it greatly, i burst out into tears becuase of it, i'm constantly thinking of it. I really don't know what to do and the thing that really shocks people is the fact that i'm a cutter, whenever i'm upset or hurt i cut....but yet i fear death and pain, i don't understand it but i do believe i need serious help. I just wish somebody could help me....I'm tired of this affecting my life...somebody email me something....i just am totally lost right now and i really always have been...i've also had depression so i dont know what that has to do with the way i feel....please private message me.
~Love Ashley~
I had this fear very badly as a child. I remember watching my grandfather's burial when I was six, and feeling a sort of existential terror at the idea of death and the inevitability of it. I became obsessed with death and asked endless questions about it. I was brought up in a very religious home, in which the existence of an afterlife was never questioned, but the idea of going to heaven didn't comfort me... in fact, I was scared of that just as I was scared of ceasing to exist. The idea of continuing to exist, but without a physical body, seemed terrifying to me, as did the idea of being in heaven for eternity - but then the idea of death as the end of everything was equally horrific. I felt like it was terrible, however you looked at it or whatever you believed.
The fear came back with a vengeance when I was 19 and doing my degree. My grandmother had died a year previously and I hadn't really taken it in properly...suddenly I was bombarded with thoughts of death, the prospect of which seemed so terrifying that in my worst moments I found myself wishing I had never existed in the first place. I can't describe how great my horror at the prospect of death was. I became unable to concentrate on anything else. My condition got so desperate that I took myself to the doctor and got put on prozac, which helped a lot.
The feelings do return from time to time, but with less intensity. I came across a book which helped me enormously. It's called 'Obsessional Thoughts and Behaviour', by Frederick Toates, who is a psychologist who also suffers from these thoughts. When I read about his experiences it was like reading about myself. I had believed I was the only one who felt like this, so reading his book was a revelation. He also discusses famous people who have had these thoughts, like Dr. Johnson, Soren Kierkegaard and Hans Christian Andersen. I found it very moving to read the thoughts of these people from previous centuries who had suffered as I had.
Somehow or other, as I have got older, I seem to have been able to let this fear go. I wouldn't go so far as to say I don't fear death, but the fear no longer dominates my thoughts as it once did, and I feel that to some extent I have 'made my peace' with the prospect of death. I have developed a mental 'image' of the afterlife which I find peaceful, not frightening, and which makes sense to me.
I know how terrible this fear is. At its worst it's one of the most terrifying things I've been through, and I've been through a lot! But it is possible to overcome the fear, albeit gradually. Go and talk to your doctor about it, if you haven't already, as going on an anti-depressant such as prozac will help in the short term.
I've become a lot more philosophical about death... it's been a struggle, but I think I've found some, albeit limited degree of peace about it now.
Thinking of you... xxx
Hi ~Terrified of death~
Is your fear achieving anything though? It would be far better to transfer your fear to a fear of not getting enough out of life. That's how I deal with it.
Tom
It's not easy to alleviate peoples fear of this one. The only thing I can say is that all the billions of people on this earth, and we are all in the same boat regarding this one. What I do with my daughter, who can't bare to hear the word death, is to push religion on to her. She asks me a question about life and death and I say it's all to do with god. The other thing is, what's the use of worrying about something that you can't do anything about. All you can do is keep yourself safe and healthy and do what everyone else does. Don't think about anything that scares you.
Tom
aliciajane
28-07-08, 00:37
I have this fear too and it's driving me crazy.
So crazy, in fact, that sometimes I think, it wouldn't be so bad if I died, because at least I'd get away from this fear!
How irrational is that, haha.
I think for me it's linked to my health anxiety, which ultimately comes down to me fearing death.
It all started when I first began having panic attacks, and my anxiety was really high. I didn't know it was down to anxiety, and for weeks I thought my sypmtoms (chest pains, stomach pains, insomnia, headaches, I couldn't eat) were me dying. I convinced myself I had numerous different kinds of illnesses and was going to die.
I went to the Doctors, twice in fact to make sure, and found out nothing was physically wrong. The second time when the Doctor reassured me it was anxiety, I felt better for an hour until I came home.
I saw someone talking about a Murder on the news and had a panic attack.
It's still really hard for me now.
The thing I find helps, is talking about. Knowing, and telling myself that I have this fear, and that I can sort it out. I'm sure that sounds silly, but honestly just sitting down, having a cry and a chat to someone close to you always makes me feel much better.
A problem shared is a problem halved after all! :)
Good luck, and best wishes to you.
xax
“People fear death even more than pain. It's strange that they fear death. Life hurts a lot more than death. At the point of death, the pain is over. Yeah, I guess it is a friend...” Jim Morrison.
worriedGrace
28-07-08, 10:29
I have feared death since early childhood probably because my sister died at three before I was born and her presence was very much felt in our home, photos and possessions etc. I am now 59 and still terrified even though I have been with many people on their deathbeds as a carer and the process seems very peacefull.Both my parents died and as an only child it was a blow but I survived. The strange thing is that death fascinates me in a weird way. I love all the trappings of it, the black mourning clothes etc and I will go to the funerals of people I hardly knew. It's strange to spend time staring at something that frightens you but that's me.
my biggest fear is dying and leaving my kids mine started when i had my daughter 1998 and meningitous was serious then and been worried and scared ever since dont know how i deal i just get up and think well another day get on with it then when i sit and relax in the evening i do cards if i am bad to take my mind of itif i am tired i find they r worse but other than that cant help
My views on death are exactly the same as AntiLove_SuperStar. If you see yourself as a biological machine that as been pre-programmed to fear death as a way of staying alive, then it all makes sense why we fear death. Death is as natural as being born. Everyone fears death, even priests, nuns, and suicide bombers, though they still do it. The best thing to do is not think about it.
Tom
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