This is mad, right?

[flappergirl]

Ok I think I am going totally nuts. I am worried about my son. He went into our big paddling pool a couple of days ago and he had a little swim. We keep a chlorinator in there and I tested the water and it said the chlorine levels were on the low side but still within an ok level. He was in there probably less than an hour and splashed about a bit. Now having read a story about a swimmer in the US dying from brain eating amoeba and I am totally freaking out he has caught it. There was some sediment at the bottom of the pool and I worry he disturbed it and got it up his nose. I cleaned the pool earlier in the day but I couldn’t pick up the sediment. Nothing was green and the water was itself clear.

Please help me to stop worrying. This bacteria usually lives in freshwater. Our tap water in the UK is treated with chlorine but also the chlorinator would have killed anything, right? I am worrying that the pool may not have had enough chlorine in (despite the test and that we keep topping the chlorine and fresh water up). He has had a bit of a sneezing fit (he does suffer with allergies and sneezing fits are common though he hasn’t had one for a while) but no headache or temperature etc. He is only 9 and my complete world. I am totally sick with worry.

My husband looked at me like I was mad (he may have a point) and said he’d never heard of it. This is my logical reasoning:
1. The pool was chlorinated and it dies in water.
2. It is amazingly rare. A quick google showed since 1962 there have been 145 cases for the USA. So 2.5 cases a year, for a population of 300 mill. Something like 1 in 130,000,000 chance. That’s extremely low.
3. It lives in dirty water like freshwater lakes and not chlorinated pools.
4. My son has allergies and no headache or other symptoms.
5. There are practically no cases in the UK - I found a couple in the 1970s...but again less than 1 a year so similar statistics to US or even lower.
6. People swim in lakes, public ponds, rivers, go canoeing etc and I have never heard about this in the UK. Only in the US - the one case lately - and on this forum.
7. Kids use non chlorinated paddling pools frequently in summer. Some I know keep the water a few days without treating it and no problems.

So what on earth am I worrying for? I’ve seen these posts from other users and thought that I’d never in a million years worry about something like this yet here I am. I AM seeking reassurance and I know that this is bad for my HA. But this is mummy worries and my baby is my everything.

[flappergirl]

Last year in the pool I had a sinus infection from the water (I think). It wasn’t deadly (obviously) so maybe he’s just got irritated sinuses or even just his allergies kicking up.

[flappergirl]

My son has been canoeing in the past, they splash people all over and try to dunk you, flip you etc. Why did I not worry about this and he was in fresh untreated water? So many people go canoeing and get untreated water on them and probably up their nose and if the bea was commonplace, then I would hear countless stories and people would avoid these activities. The risk/likelihood is really minimal, correct? I feel so sick and my legs and shaking and the world feels like it is caving in.

[BlueIris]

Reassurance as requested: your worries are groundless. Just because you're afraid, it doesn't mean there's anything to be afraid of.

[flappergirl]

Thank you xx I called the Samaritans in the end, (not for reassurance cos somewhere in there I know that it is a unnecessary worry) just so that I could talk and calm myself down. I have been in a near constant panic state since Friday (I think due to the new meds) and I just feel sometimes that I am falling and I either want to be taken away, or I just need someone to listen to my fears so I can take hold of them.

[BlueIris]

It sounds as though the meds are giving you trouble, yes, and it must be wretched for you.

I know it's tough, but the trick isn't to banish the fear, it's to accept and live with it. Feel free to shoot me a PM if you ever want to chat, okay?

[textsfromthemoon]

As a kid I swam in a pretty dingy lake nearly every day in the summer. it was gross, it was hot, I definitely snorted water up my nose, I did handstands in the sand at the bottom, I jumped off the docks into the water, I can promise you people swim in much worse conditions every day and don't get brain eating amoeba, your son will be perfectly fine :) I hope that can help in some way

[flappergirl]

Thank you, that does help! I know it’s silly to worry, especially as you say people swim in proper freshwater without problems and he was in a chlorinated pool, which would mean that the thing wouldn’t even survive.

[flappergirl]

Thank you BlueIris. hope that it is the meds and that it will calm down soon. I am doing the CBT but the acceptance bit is hard. The therapist explains and it sounds so easy, but it is so difficult.

[Dying_Swan]

He'll be fine. I'm another one who also swam in rivers, lakes, pools etc as a kid, and didn't get a brain eating amoeba. That probably goes for most of us. I've never heard of chlorinating paddling pools and certainly my parents didn't clean them out very often! One swimming pool we used to go to had algae growing on the sides (it was a long time ago!) and we didn't get ill from it. In some countries, people bathe and wash their clothes in river water.

The positive thing is that you recognise this is anxiety doing its illogical thing and you are trying to use your logic. Ringing the Samaritans was a good idea and I hope you're feeling calmer now.

[flappergirl]

Hi swan, thanks for your message. The pool is one of those above ground mini pools you can get (12 foot). It is deep enough so kids can swim in it and has a filter as well as a floating chlorine dispenser which I top up. My mum reminds me when I was a kid that I swam in a manky school pool, public ponds (don’t think they were chlorinated and definitely had algae there) and also paddling pools that were left out overnight. I was ok. I am focusing on the rare and exotic and need to stop. The Samaritans call helped to just say the fear out loud. I could hear how silly it sounded but I just wanted to talk about it and mostly then my anxiety and how I am struggling. I am sure the meds are making it worse. :(

[flappergirl]

Ok panicking harder now. He has been sneezing a lot today (this is common) and then when he sneezed just now there was a little blood in it. Should I be panicking? Could it just be that he sneezed a lot and these things happen? Or should I get him checked out? I am still worrying so much. The worry is coming and going in waves and now it is all around me. 😢

[ankietyjoe]

Ok panicking harder now. He has been sneezing a lot today (this is common) and then when he sneezed just now there was a little blood in it. Should I be panicking? Could it just be that he sneezed a lot and these things happen? Or should I get him checked out? I am still worrying so much. The worry is coming and going in waves and now it is all around me. 

No, look at the words you said just before this.

Distract yourself.

[flappergirl]

We are doing a quiz game but I am struggling not to let my thoughts wander.

My mind is full of what ifs.

What if he is the 1 in a 100 million? What if I didn’t put enough chlorine in? What if the bug’s in there? What if it went up his nose? What if the sneezing is his first symptom? Should I call the doctor/111? What if something bad happens to him? What if it’s my fault? What will I do?

We are going out later and I hope that walking around and seeing things will calm me down. I feel so useless as a person and a mum. Meanwhile, he is having a whale of a time quizzing me on random topics unaware that I am fretting about him! 😢

[ankietyjoe]

What if you wake up one morning as he's 19 and you've spent 15 years worrying about things that never happened and missed it all?

[flappergirl]

Good point. Focus on the here and now. 🙂

[ankietyjoe]

Good point. Focus on the here and now. 

Bazinga. That is the crux of mindfulness. Only focus on now. The past and the future don't exist, only now.

[flappergirl]

I know I am worrying about a hypothetical situation that is unlikely even in normal conditions (ie untreated water) let alone in unusual conditions (ie a chlorinated pool). What I worry about happening is not coming true just because I am looking for symptoms of it. What is happening is my son probably has a cold (my daughter woke up with one today) and he sneezed anyway.

My therapist says look back at all the times I have worried and how many times my fears have been correct. Never of course, but that does not always reassure as I think one day I will be right. All or nothing thinking practically.

[flappergirl]

Tomorrow I am off to a spa day and have a massage booked, which I hope will help me to relax!

[ankietyjoe]

I personally wouldn't go by the advice of your therapist on this one as it's still encouraging you to weigh up statistics. And if you already suffer with HA, you will say 'but one day I'll be right'....oh wait, you just did!

The best course of action is just to distract yourself from that way of thinking. Tell yourself he's fine, and enjoy the day.

[flappergirl]

I will try to keep distracted, wish me luck!

[ankietyjoe]

Good luck!