Feel like feelings aren’t real?

[Liddy1993]

I recently had an obsession with love and thinking I didn’t love my mother which I got over. I then started thinking about how love is a chemical reaction in your brain responding to someone or something and now my feelings don’t feel real. I know this sounds stupid and know our bodies don’t run off magic but now that I’ve thought about the works behind emotion they don’t feel as special to me. I never thought about falling in love as just reproducing and staying together to care for the child or loving our mothers as they are security and them loving us just because they have an instinct and need to protect us for their genes to be passed on. I knew our emotions were hormonal and chemical but I never thought of them like this and now that I do I feel like the love I feel isn’t real at all now and I’m terrified. This is possibly the worse thought obsession I’ve had to date and I don’t think I can get rid of this one.

[luv2horseride]

Hi I know exactly what you are going through and it's awful isn't it? I agree that it is the worst obsession I have had too, even worse than worrying about death and stuff because it kind of makes you question the love you have for family, friends etc. I have been struggling with this for a few months now and one thing I will say is that it is gotten loads better but certain things do trigger it. For the longest time I couldn't watch anything to do with love or family as it would send me into a spiralling panic.

There are some things I've read online and heard that have helped me. Remember that only certain people cause these chemical reactions inside our brains, so that makes the person 'special' and the fact that they have caused a release of Oxytocin or whatever is because we like/love them. The person caused the reaction, not the other way around. Also, yes mothers have an instinct to protect us for their genes to pass on but that doesn't explain why adopted children are loved just as much or some mothers are cruel to and don't love their children.

I hope that you are doing better than when you wrote this post and if not, hopefully I have helped in some way, even if it's just knowing that you are not alone in these worries as I thought I was going crazy at first! I hope that one day both of us can stop these thoughts completely!

[Liddy1993]

Thank you so much for your reply I’m only seeing it now I had to take a break and try pull myself back together. I’m doing much better although I still get blips worry and did that avoidance thing where I tried to avoid being around my family because I felt guilty for thinking the way I did, loved that part about the person causing the reaction gonna think of that whenever the thought enters my head now! Thank you so so much really loved your reply and the thought put into it I’ve also read up a bit and although it (clearly) didn’t help at the start I feel a bit more positive about it knowing that my feelings are real regardless of how they happen and my mother used a really good analogy for it saying it doesn’t matter how the car gets from a to b as long as it gets there haha. Hope you’re doing good and feeling better x