lofwyr
20-08-19, 22:57
It is like being a junkie or an addict. I am a recovering alcoholic, so I sort of have the same feeling.
I have an issue regarding potential Basal Cell on my nose, and it covers a lot of real estate, maybe 1.4 by 2 to 3 cm visible. It is more than a pimple like lesion, for sure. I am in a holding pattern waiting on appointments, and was doing pretty good with it. I mean Basal Cell mets .03% to .55%. There are 5.4 million cases a year. If you have to have cancer, it is as good as it gets, statistically speaking.
But even before official diagnosis, I have pretty much established which sub-type I have, determined how I would like to have it treated, and made various assumptions about how aggressive the BCC I have is, looked up local Mohs' surgeons, wondered if it got into the bone of my nose, and managed to be egotistical enough to assume I may well be one of the roughly 1700 to 10,000 people a year who get mets, out of the 5.4 million. I may as well fire my dermatologist now, because I have it all figured out.
If you wonder how I have all this glorious information, you guessed it. Doctor Google and I had a long meeting with this morning and I feel very much the same now as if I had just turned in an AA chip and had a beer for the first time in 21 years.
With many recovering alcoholics, there is an arrogance that lets you wonder if you can get away with drinking. It is very dangerous to recovery. You always have to fight it, at least I do.
Well, it turns out, the same thing very much applies to Dr. Google and HA as well, and I didn't even see it coming. I made assumptions because all of this was happening through the knowledge given to me by a health care professional, that I probably have BCC, so that made it safe to learn more about the condition, to arm myself with information I can take to appointments. And perhaps it is good to be armed with information, but the way I went about it sent me down a rabbit hole of scientific papers, worst case scenarios, photos of surgeries that I probably would have been better off not seeing, and pages about facial reconstruction to rebuild a nose that will likely have to be removed in its entirety, all when I don't even have an official diagnosis yet.
This is what just happened to me. I went from what I thought was a pretty solid place, anxiety-wise--even with the looming BCC appointment--to a very familiar cycle I have really worked hard at putting behind me.
So here I am, feeling like I am working towards my first Google Anonymous chip again.
Be well, everyone, and absolutely stay away from google.
I have an issue regarding potential Basal Cell on my nose, and it covers a lot of real estate, maybe 1.4 by 2 to 3 cm visible. It is more than a pimple like lesion, for sure. I am in a holding pattern waiting on appointments, and was doing pretty good with it. I mean Basal Cell mets .03% to .55%. There are 5.4 million cases a year. If you have to have cancer, it is as good as it gets, statistically speaking.
But even before official diagnosis, I have pretty much established which sub-type I have, determined how I would like to have it treated, and made various assumptions about how aggressive the BCC I have is, looked up local Mohs' surgeons, wondered if it got into the bone of my nose, and managed to be egotistical enough to assume I may well be one of the roughly 1700 to 10,000 people a year who get mets, out of the 5.4 million. I may as well fire my dermatologist now, because I have it all figured out.
If you wonder how I have all this glorious information, you guessed it. Doctor Google and I had a long meeting with this morning and I feel very much the same now as if I had just turned in an AA chip and had a beer for the first time in 21 years.
With many recovering alcoholics, there is an arrogance that lets you wonder if you can get away with drinking. It is very dangerous to recovery. You always have to fight it, at least I do.
Well, it turns out, the same thing very much applies to Dr. Google and HA as well, and I didn't even see it coming. I made assumptions because all of this was happening through the knowledge given to me by a health care professional, that I probably have BCC, so that made it safe to learn more about the condition, to arm myself with information I can take to appointments. And perhaps it is good to be armed with information, but the way I went about it sent me down a rabbit hole of scientific papers, worst case scenarios, photos of surgeries that I probably would have been better off not seeing, and pages about facial reconstruction to rebuild a nose that will likely have to be removed in its entirety, all when I don't even have an official diagnosis yet.
This is what just happened to me. I went from what I thought was a pretty solid place, anxiety-wise--even with the looming BCC appointment--to a very familiar cycle I have really worked hard at putting behind me.
So here I am, feeling like I am working towards my first Google Anonymous chip again.
Be well, everyone, and absolutely stay away from google.