Biggle
21-01-05, 18:01
Hi everyone.
I posted something earlier on the meds forum, but I see this is really the place to start.
I have been diagnosed with depression and moderate anxiety. I am not really sure if I am depressed. I really thought that depression would be, well, more depressing than what I am currently feeling.
First, some history. I DID have a problem with panic attacks and anxiety attacks from 1992 to 1995. This is what I now know as classic panic attack kind of disorder. The first one hit me like a thunderbolt, more of them came gradually more frequently, and by 1993 my whole life was plagued by fear and inexplicable sadness. After searching high and low for advice and the answer to this, it was a hypnotherapist who explained to me that my constant fear was fear of fear itself. Relaxation through self-hypnosis techniques helped me break the cycle, but it was really reading a book I found in a charity shop on the subject that allowed me to put the attacks to bed. I'm ashamed to say I can't remember its title or author, but the central theme was that panic came from existential angst. I don't know how this clicked with me, but it did. I was able to ride the panic attacks and say "go on then do your worst." I suppose I stood up to the attacks and they backed down. It's strange that this worked, as before I had tried to fight them with pure determination and this actually made them worse. A sort of resignation and acceptance worked better. From then on I also could tell when my body was tensing or my breathing wasn't right, and correct it. At that point I would actually feel myself relax and I am sure that this stopped any panic attacks occurring by tackling tension at a very early stage. I was then able to throw myself into my final year at University and I can assure you I certainly indulged myself of every temptation available, doing all the things that you can only get away with with the spare time that students have. All this more full on than I had before and NOT beholden to fear or panic.
Before that I had tried some things that did not really work. One was meditation - I will not say the brand name of the practice as I know it can do wonders for others and I did find it pleasant. So I won't give it a bad press. Another thing was medication - specifically Melleril. I don't know what that was - I was told it was an anti-psychotic. This was very unpleasant and caused me to cry which I was not previously doing. Visits to a psychologist gave me some good practical tips and also got me off the Melleril very early - the psychologist was not happy I had been prescribed them as a healthy 22 year old. However, the psychoanalysis did not have any effect on the panic attacks and the all-pervading tension and fear. In those days, the medical profession didn't really know what to do with you and there were no sites like this which I knew of. So it was through my own persistence that I was able to find a solution.
10 years later and I can still handle attacks if they are near, or cut them out before they even start. I do however, have a slightly different problem. It's as if I beat one problem, only for the same kind of thing to have sneaked up on me from another angle. It does seem to be based around sleep - or not being able to sleep. I've never really been a great sleeper but in the last 6 months or so I have simply been unable to get to sleep at night. This has coincided with a bad situation at work - look up "causes of stress at work" on Google and the list you'll get on an official medical site will be what I have had to suffer since the company started doing badly about a year ago or more.
Some nights I sleep an hour and a half. Others 4, even 6 or 7 on say Saturday. However I have always needed 7 or 8 hours. This went on for about 4 months, and I tried to beat it by getting up earlier and getting down the gym. My rationale for this was that the extra effort would help me get to sleep at night. It didn't. In fact, I got energy from it that was still with me at night and I possibly found it even more difficult t
I posted something earlier on the meds forum, but I see this is really the place to start.
I have been diagnosed with depression and moderate anxiety. I am not really sure if I am depressed. I really thought that depression would be, well, more depressing than what I am currently feeling.
First, some history. I DID have a problem with panic attacks and anxiety attacks from 1992 to 1995. This is what I now know as classic panic attack kind of disorder. The first one hit me like a thunderbolt, more of them came gradually more frequently, and by 1993 my whole life was plagued by fear and inexplicable sadness. After searching high and low for advice and the answer to this, it was a hypnotherapist who explained to me that my constant fear was fear of fear itself. Relaxation through self-hypnosis techniques helped me break the cycle, but it was really reading a book I found in a charity shop on the subject that allowed me to put the attacks to bed. I'm ashamed to say I can't remember its title or author, but the central theme was that panic came from existential angst. I don't know how this clicked with me, but it did. I was able to ride the panic attacks and say "go on then do your worst." I suppose I stood up to the attacks and they backed down. It's strange that this worked, as before I had tried to fight them with pure determination and this actually made them worse. A sort of resignation and acceptance worked better. From then on I also could tell when my body was tensing or my breathing wasn't right, and correct it. At that point I would actually feel myself relax and I am sure that this stopped any panic attacks occurring by tackling tension at a very early stage. I was then able to throw myself into my final year at University and I can assure you I certainly indulged myself of every temptation available, doing all the things that you can only get away with with the spare time that students have. All this more full on than I had before and NOT beholden to fear or panic.
Before that I had tried some things that did not really work. One was meditation - I will not say the brand name of the practice as I know it can do wonders for others and I did find it pleasant. So I won't give it a bad press. Another thing was medication - specifically Melleril. I don't know what that was - I was told it was an anti-psychotic. This was very unpleasant and caused me to cry which I was not previously doing. Visits to a psychologist gave me some good practical tips and also got me off the Melleril very early - the psychologist was not happy I had been prescribed them as a healthy 22 year old. However, the psychoanalysis did not have any effect on the panic attacks and the all-pervading tension and fear. In those days, the medical profession didn't really know what to do with you and there were no sites like this which I knew of. So it was through my own persistence that I was able to find a solution.
10 years later and I can still handle attacks if they are near, or cut them out before they even start. I do however, have a slightly different problem. It's as if I beat one problem, only for the same kind of thing to have sneaked up on me from another angle. It does seem to be based around sleep - or not being able to sleep. I've never really been a great sleeper but in the last 6 months or so I have simply been unable to get to sleep at night. This has coincided with a bad situation at work - look up "causes of stress at work" on Google and the list you'll get on an official medical site will be what I have had to suffer since the company started doing badly about a year ago or more.
Some nights I sleep an hour and a half. Others 4, even 6 or 7 on say Saturday. However I have always needed 7 or 8 hours. This went on for about 4 months, and I tried to beat it by getting up earlier and getting down the gym. My rationale for this was that the extra effort would help me get to sleep at night. It didn't. In fact, I got energy from it that was still with me at night and I possibly found it even more difficult t