Health Anxiety can be expensive!

[UserName20]

Hey guys, this post is more of just a vent. I’m sure many of you have been in a similar situation who are struggling with health anxiety.
I am 19 and ( was in college. ) My anxiety used to keep me from going to doctors. I’m sure others here can relate to this feeling.. where you just “know” something is wrong and want to avoid hearing the news to make it “real.” However, this past year I have gotten out of that cycle and have been going to doctors. As many as you have probably read from my last post I had gone to the ER over feeling my heart race. I am still on my parents insurance as I still live at home. And wow, that bill is a killer. I guess I’m getting a swift kick in the rear and a welcome to “adult life.”

Since that visit I was surprised at other calls I was getting telling me that I owe money. Since I was 18 years old last year in high school I had thought my parents were helping with the medical bills as I was paying my way through college. However, I was caught off guard to find out that none of them have been paid. My parents are extremely upset at me for going to the ER the night and keep telling me how stupid I am for taking trips to the doctor. I know my parents have not experienced anxiety with health things and I know that they can’t really understand. That night I felt like I had no Choice. I’m not going to lie it’s hurtful and hard to hear my parents yelling at me about everything. I know they just kind of shake their head at the fact I’m on medication. I just keep it in my room and don’t really talk about it but then again they don’t ask. And I also can’t blame them for not understanding.

This month has been incredibly stressful for me. I’m trying to organize and figure out how to pay for all of these bills. I dropped my college classes in order to help with my ER bill. ( I was just a cashier since high school and was planning to be one part time through college ) But now I am having to look for a full time job and have accepted college just isn’t possible at this point. It has really made me realize that for the sake of my bank account I can absolutely not continue on this path. I am knee deep in bills all for doctors to tell me there is nothing wrong with me besides anxiety. I guess if there was one good thing out of all of this it is that I have a greater appreciation for what the real world really costs and that I am finally on medication to help with my anxiety. I have been working through free books on this site, I’m not sure I can afford therapy as of right now but eventually I would like to.

I guess just a little venting I had that I figured others on this site may be able to relate to. I know this stress is at times making my anxiety a bit worse. But as long as I keep moving forward I know it’ll work out in the end! I hope you guys are all having a good week.

[NervUs]

Hmmmm....it sounds like you have learned a lesson the hard way. Health care costs in the US are insane, as is our insurance system. I try to ration our family's health care use as much as I can, but we have been hit with bills at various times.

I am the parent of a child not much younger than you. I can understand the stress your parents must feel facing all these bills for medical consumption fueled by anxiety. At the same time, I would really be able to listen to you and, more importantly, my heart would break if I learned you were dropping out of college in order to pay medical bills and I would also be PROUD of you for owning up to it and coming to some hard insights about yourself.

Have you talked about this decision with them? Maybe there's a way that you could borrow the money from them and come up with a plan to pay them back over time, so that you can finish college? I say that as someone who does not know a thing about your parents, their finances, or your relationship. But, again, I would be proud of my son for the clarity you're expressing and the hope to get better. Even if they don't "get" it, please know you have someone rooting for you and I hope you can salvage college somehow.

[UserName20]

Thank you so much for your kind reply, NervUs. It has definitely been a really rough time. I never thought my life would be thrown off like this. I am picking up as many hours as I can and really trying my best to get myself out of this mess. It’s not easy and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t in tears every single day but I know things have a funny way of working out in the end.

I’m just struggling because yes, healthcare is crazy expensive. I’m still having chest tightness and it is terrifying me. My doctor gave me medicine for reflux a couple of weeks ago at an appointment and he believes that my mind may be fueling part of this chest tightness and did not even bother listening to my heart as truly he believes I’m fine. I was really doing a lot better and now I’m just worrying again. And it’s so hard because I literally can not afford another dr visit. And I’m also afraid I have cancer or something and that it is spreading. It went away for a week last week and then my grandmother was talking about her friend in the hospital and boom, started again. However with the multiple doctors thinking I’m fine I guess I shouldn’t press them anymore.

Just a stressful time right now! Waiting on better days. Thank you again for your reply!