izzybizzy
06-09-19, 17:30
I was diagnosed with GAD and panic disorder 10 years ago when I was 20, I have had periods of “recovery” but I’ve also developed other disorders such as health anxiety, social anxiety etc and BDD (body Dysmorphia) although the BDD may be more linked to the eating disorder I had for years. Basically a hot mess of anxiety disorders, I am exhausted, two years ago my Dad was murdered and since then I have been worse, I’ve had therapy, I recovered from my eating disorder mostly, I meditate, don’t really drink alcohol, I try to sleep well etc but I’m not better or never seem to get as well as I used to.
And it’s all just so exhausting, I’ve lost the spark to live, I mostly exist/survive I have good friends and I’m working again albeit part time, I’m a single parent and I do feel lonely in that respect, I have a lovely dog etc so why aren’t I happy? Why am I so tired? I’m back on meds now but I just don’t feel like myself or not what myself is? I’m lost is what I think I’m saying. I feel like life has just battered me, I have suffered a lot of trauma and id love to be one of those people that turns it all around and has a great story to help others with but I highly doubt it, I feel like a mess of a human, can anyone relate to having more than one disorder and lots of trauma and trying to rebuild and better themselves??
Sorry if the post was a bit rambling
And it’s all just so exhausting, I’ve lost the spark to live, I mostly exist/survive I have good friends and I’m working again albeit part time, I’m a single parent and I do feel lonely in that respect, I have a lovely dog etc so why aren’t I happy? Why am I so tired? I’m back on meds now but I just don’t feel like myself or not what myself is? I’m lost is what I think I’m saying. I feel like life has just battered me, I have suffered a lot of trauma and id love to be one of those people that turns it all around and has a great story to help others with but I highly doubt it, I feel like a mess of a human, can anyone relate to having more than one disorder and lots of trauma and trying to rebuild and better themselves??
Sorry if the post was a bit rambling