Worried about lymphoma/breast cancer

[Letti1986]

Hello everyone,

I’m somewhat new here, posted before a couple of years ago I think but for the most part I’ve had my health anxiety under control so haven’t needed to look at this (very helpful) site.
However, for the past few months I’ve had symptoms that separately could be nothing, but together make me very worried that I could have lymphoma or breast cancer.
I’ll try to make this as short as I can, as I have a tendency to waffle...
Since the beginning of the year, I’ve had an on/off rash appear on the upper outer part of my right breast. It looks a bit like a sweat rash you might get on your inner elbow but it’s not that. It doesn’t hurt, itch or anything. It just looks red and slightly bumpy. I always notice it in the evening, when I’m having a bath and it’ll stay there all evening until the next morning when I notice it’s gone. It isn’t there everyday, sometimes it shows up a few times a week, other times it can be gone for a few weeks before it makes its next appearance. My doctor doesn’t know what it is, but she’s not concerned at the same time. She referred me to the breast clinic as I wasn’t sure if I was experiencing some discharge from that breast too, along with that breast being more painful (as a whole) than the left side, but in summary the breast surgeon wasn’t concerned either. She didn’t perform an ultrasound or anything, just a physical check and I mentioned the rash and she said it would be a skin issue not a breast issue. So I left it at that.
2 weeks ago is where I started to unravel... I saw a nurse after having some ear pain and finding a small but rather hard lump/lymph node right behind my ear at the bottom just before the skull “stops” and she told me my left ear is completely impacted with waxing she couldn’t even see into my ear, so I’ve been using Optrex hydrogen peroxide ear drops pretty much everyday to clear it. It hasn’t been clearing great and I have to have it irrigated tomorrow. The lump is still there, quite hard but doesn’t seem any bigger.
I also found out I have oral thrush in my mouth, after being swabbed due to me complaining about my lips constantly splitting and oozing this horrid clear liquid (it’s hard to keep lipstick on! I know, not important, but I’m trying to stay silly.) For some reason, after this, I found myself to be really really itchy. All over my body; scalp, ears, face, neck, arms, legs, feet and everywhere else! It has been driving me crazy. I think it’s worse when I think about it, and I try not to itch it in the hope it will go by itself. It sometimes feels like burning prickles under my skin, other times it’s quite light. My scalp and feet are where it feels deeper but that is probably the locations. It will be in one place and then go to another. Sometimes if I don’t scratch it feels like it goes only to come back half a minute later. Over the past few days I’ve had good days where it hasn’t bothered me too much, other days I notice it and it bugs me and makes me worry it’s lymphoma. My husband says it’s because I’m thinking about it.
Last Sunday, I went to bed thinking to myself “at least I’m not having any night sweats.” Well, guess what happened next? Yep, I woke twice Sunday night with sweat dripping down my chest, and anywhere I have “folds” (so like elbows, backs of knees etc.) The back of my hair was also quite wet. Didn’t need to change my sheets but noticed there was some damp patches where my neck and chest/back were. They dried somewhat quickly, probably because I kept feeling them to see how wet they were! Every night that followed, I awoke at least once with the same problem. The worst was Wednesday night. It got to the point where I saw a doctor (a locum who I’d never met, not my normal doctor who knows my personality) on Thursday. I led with the fact that I thought my health anxiety might have flared up again, explained briefly that I have previous experience of it, so to speak. He advised the night sweats were possibly hormonal. (The logical part of my brain had wondered this as I was due on last week and did start my period later on Thursday.) And he briefly checked my neck and ear lump and said I have no lymph nodes (which, and I’m not in the habit of mistrusting doctors, isn’t true, I’ve had the whole lymphoma scare before after my dad died 5 years ago and have some permanent nodes that are up on both sides of my neck, particularly the right. I leave them alone though and they don’t bother me, one of them I’m actually kind of fond of now for some peculiar reason.) He advised me to refer myself to CBT again (done it twice, don’t rate it to be honest.) and tried to get me to consider an SSRI. I don’t want to do this unless I have to, the last 2 types I was on both made me put on a fair bit of weight. But that’s a topic for a different day. One I hope I don’t have to consider.
Last night after my bath, I had a pain in my right armpit. Not the skin. Hard to explain. Checked and there is a lump that is quite visible. It doesn’t really feel tender to move but the skin hurts like a shaving rash (I think because I’ve kept feeling it all last night and today.) plus I do shave everyday. I have some “bits” in the lump that wobble a bit. Not as much as they wobble the other side though. I checked the left side too and while I can feel something similar there, it’s smaller and there’s not a visible lump that side. The right side I can see a distinct swelling, though the swelling itself isn’t hard. I can almost roll the flesh there like a bit of flab (yuck!) It’s definitely not been there before. I would have noticed it. I notice everything. All day I’ve been conscious of it being there, like it feels like it’s in the way. And thinking about it, I think my armpit had a pain there last weekend on the inside but I didn’t go checking. I had a basic blood test on Monday because of the thrush in my mouth. It came back ok the doctor informed me on Thursday. It has left a nice green bruise on my inner elbow though, even though the blood test didn’t hurt. Could the armpit have swelled because of that? Shaving? Do these things all sound coincidental or is that niggling voice justified? I’m worried it’s lynphoma or some weird breast cancer that’s been missed because I also had the weird rash appear yesterday again (was gone this morning as usual though.) I’m making an appointment with my regular doctor tomorrow but today has been horrible, I’ve lost my appetite all this week and my family think I’m looking skinny now. I’m trying to keep smiley for my kids and husband but I’m breaking down with “what if...?” constantly in my head. My ears and face are burning with the worry. The itching comes and goes depending on how much my subconscious gets the chance to think about it. I’m sorry, that was long after all. Any thoughts or good feelings are very much appreciated. Thank you for reading.
Love Letti xx

[Carys]

Hiyer Letti,

Phew, I got through it lol OK, there is a LOT there and it sounds like you are very focused indeed on every little bodily change and niggle that is arising and trying to put everything together to create one big sinister problem - hyper vigilance aint your friend lol. The breast cancer issue, the rash that 'comes and goes' and the fact that you've had two people check you - nope, it wouldn't be 'coming and going'. It just isn't possible, so that one needs to be put out of your head. The night sweats - was going to ask your age? As a woman who has experienced them on and off for 8 years I can attest that they are most likely hormonal and the fact that they are starting the week before your period would lead me to think you could be starting peri-menopause. Itching, well you know what it could be anxiety, but could ALSO be hormonal changes - many peri women itch and get really dry skin during this period and get rashy bits. Anxiety is also common at this time. I haven't got time to go through each of your 'symptoms' right now, sorry, but you need to think that just because there are a few small problems like the ear wax and the oral thrush, doesn't mean that everything else or even those should be lumped together to come up with lymphoma ! Certainly consider hormonal issue also.

[Letti1986]

Hello Carys, thank you so much for replying. I’ve been feeling so alone with it all today (I’m really trying to avoid burdening my husband with it all, he doesn’t understand why I am like I am, he is the least worrying person on the planet!) and it felt good to put it all out there instead of mulling it all through my own head. A problem shared and all that! I turned 33 in July, which is pretty young for perimenopause I think, but I’m open to all suggestions, particularly when they take me away from the cancer worries. I had 2 months of mid cycle bleeding in June and July (which oddly I wasn’t worried about, I assumed it was ovulation bleeding but my doctor wanted to rule out other things and sent me for an internal ultrasound. It was all fine, and I wasn’t really very worried it wouldn’t be. Maybe a slight niggle on the journey to the hospital but certainly wasn’t overthinking myself into a HA stupor! Which shows sometimes I can be rational.) so I think my hormones may be a little wacky. Who knows. Thank you for responding to me anyway, I feel less alone. Hoping I can sleep tonight and manage to get a doctors appointment in the morning - that’s enough to cause anyone anxiety, phoning through at 8.30 to the engaged tone, hoping you’ll get through!!
Thanks again xx

[Carys]

Hiyer, its young but very possible, on a FB page I am on there are stacks at your age. Peri can start 10 years before reaching meno, and I know of many many who have started as young as you are now. However, 'whacky hormones' for others reasons are a possibility too, its a tough one to do blood tests for as hormones change so rapidly. The mid-cycle bleeding is something I also get - mind I'm 50 now and irregular beyond imagination lol WHen I read your post I immediately thought 'hormones/low oestrogen' for some reason, so would be certainly worth discussing with your GP tomorrow all the symptoms and any period irregularities - though it is apparently very hard to blood test for as they change so rapidly and often. You haven't recently had a baby have you ? Of course, we all know that anxiety can also be the result of hormone irregularities - one simple way is that if stress hormones are created then less progesterone is made. Anyway, no need to feel alone, happy to chat ! Hope you get to the bottom of some of it.

[Letti1986]

Just wanted to update, I saw a doctor today who was very kind and took time to explain things to me... he felt my neck and behind my ear and said while he could feel some nodes, he couldn’t feel anything that worries him. He pressed all around my stomach to check for an enlarged spleen(?) and said it all felt normal and he checked my armpit and said that to him it felt like some inflamed muscle or tendon as when I moved it around, it moved and made some faint pop feeling that he could feel.
I explained about the itching and night sweats and he said the itching is likely because it’s on my mind and it could totally be that in being worried about it, it keeps it on my mind and my vigilance of it is keeping it going. The night sweats he suggested could be from some acid feeling which he suggested an antacid for, now I’m not disregarding him as I trust him but I don’t think this is my issue. The only time I’ve had an acid problem was with my second pregnancy. I drank gaviscon like no ones business! Didn’t have it with my first or third pregnancy though (which was over 6 years ago now btw Carys since you asked 😊) He also said it could be hormonal or anxiety or any number of things, but considering my blood work from Monday, he didn’t see it to be a serious issue.
I also got my left ear irrigated - wow! That was a funny experience, it made me really dizzy, and the rock that came out of my ear... I’m both disgusted and fascinated!
However, with all this in mind I’m wondering if I’m coming down with something? Maybe viral. No sooner had I left the doctor, about 2 hours later, I started to get some achy pain on the outside of my neck on the right side near the jaw. I rubbed it (mostly to try to relieve the pain) and noticed a node there that I hadn’t pointed out to the doctor because I was unaware of it. I’m not sure if it’s always been there... I vaguely remember having one there before a few years ago and I try to keep my hands off for the most part as I know it’s like opening a new can of worms. I took some ibuprofen and ignored it. It went off a bit but now behind my right ear is really starting to hurt... I’m trying my absolute best to not think “oh no, but I didn’t tell the doctor about this one!” And instead think “the blood work was good, he wasn’t worried.” And wondering if I may be getting the cold that my daughter currently has. I wonder if my left ear being cleared has made me more aware of my right one and around my jaw hurting? Im going to take more ibuprofen and maybe some paracetamol and hope it goes off. I would be right in thinking if it is likely to be anything suspect, the doctor would have likely found it himself and/or my blood test would have shown something? I guess I just need reassuring that I’m on the right track with the rational thinking as I don’t want to be the person that rushes back tomorrow saying “but now this has popped up!”
Sorry to bother, I feel quite embarrassed about seeking this reassurance and about my HA in general. I wish I didn’t have it. I love the stretches of time where I feel like a “normal” person. Although I do have a tendency to worry about any and everything anyway! But it’s usually smaller things like have I parked my car properly? Are those mums talking about me? Did I turn the tumble dryer and oven off? Etc.

[Careful1]

Wow. I cant believe I came across your pose today. I developed a red weird looking rash on my right breast today and it's funny to me that I was here checking out the board and came across your post. More funny is that I could have written this post as almost everything you have going on, I also am dealing with.
While I was getting dressed today I noticed the rash and freaked out a bit. I know it wasnt there the night before when I had my shower and it's been there all day not getting better at all. It does not itch or anything it's just there. I have an appointment 2marro morning to have it checked out...
You mention you have been dealing with thrush. I have been getting a lot of episodes of oral thrush for the past two years now. I get it A LOT. My dr tested me for diabetes and I dont have it, he tested me for HIV and I'm negative, I dont use an inhaler so that cant be the cause either. He told me those are all the most common reasons for frequent oral thrush in an adult and so I have no answers as to why 🙄
You mention your lips split... My lips do not split but the corners of my mouth do all the time. I'm not sure why and either is the doctor but it's been happening for about as long as the thrush has been happening.
I have swelling under my ear on the left side and a little down my neck. My dr confirmed it and did a soft tissue ct scan of my neck and other then benign looking lymphnodes, it was normal.
I deal with a nasty pain on the side of my left breast from time to time and also in my left arm pit. Sometimes I have swelling in my left arm put and the doctor confirmed it. He ordered an ultrasound of my arm and it was normal. I have a mammogram appointment for 2marro afternoon. I also get night sweats from time to time.

We seem to share a lot of the same symptoms. I have been dealing with some many things the last two years and have found no answers.

[Letti1986]

Hi Careful,

I’m sorry you’re dealing with all of these types of things too, I know how hard it is to be so worried and having no explanation for it. But, no explanation is better than a bad one! The big takeaway from your post though, to me, is if you’ve been dealing with these types of issues for 2 years, and you’ve had some testing which has come back normal, I’d say you’re doing just fine. No “body” is perfect and we’re all normal in our own way. It doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong or that we’re breaking. I don’t mean this is a patronising way, and I wish I could take my own advice sometimes! But what I mean is, if the worse things have been tested for and come back fine, I think you’re allowed to relax - and you should. It’ll all be ok in the end 🙂
Do you wear a retainer/denture or anything? I read that oral appliances can cause oral thrush. I have to wear a retainer every few nights to keep my teeth straight, so the doctor thought my case might be from this as I don’t have diabetes or hiv either. But if not, maybe you’re just run down? Been working too hard? Not getting enough sleep? Worrying and stressing can affect your immune system too (as can eating junk food as I found out! I was eating far too much sugar!)
Wishing you all the best xx

[Letti1986]

Also, one thing about itching... can my mind be that mean to me that it can “imagine” it on? And by imagine I mean bring. The itching has been getting a lot better, but it sometimes comes to mind and then I notice an hour or so after that, I feel twinges if itch shooting around my whole body. I’m also wondering if I’m going mad because sometimes I don’t feel itchy per se but I wonder if i do... I can feel like faint burning feelings but I stand still and think “is this real? Am I feeling this or is it in my mind?” It’s so hard to explain... I’m not sure if it’s real or not. From what I’ve read about suspicious itching though, you don’t have to question it, it’s there and you have to itch it raw. Mine has never been like that. But it’s annoying in that I don’t think I’m thinking about it, until I notice it and then I am. Or am I thinking about it and then noticing?? It’s like a chicken/egg situation... very confusing and the main thing bothering me really. On the plus side, I’ve been doing no poking or prodding, and that’s mad me feel a lot more sane and normal. The black cloud that was following me everywhere seems smaller or further away. And that feels great. xx

[Careful1]

No, I dont have any mouth appliances and I have been dealing with thrush for over a year and a half now and I don't just get it sometimes, I get it crazy often. The itching I get sometimes and it's bad to the point I end up bleeding with deep scratches... Luckily that's not often.

I have been dealing with what I told you and a crap ton more and it all started in 2017. I have seen many many doctors, so many specialist. A lot of them were convinced I had advanced liver disease but I don't. They all agree something is wrong that something is obivously going on but they just don't know what.
It was crazy reading your post because it reminded me of myself in some aspects.

I wish you all the best as well and am happy to hear that you are feeling better 😄

[wubu]

I just think about itching and that's it... I itch everywhere it's crazy. Also the breast is no probs as the docs have said. The rash would not come and go, 100% sure of that! Even if it did stay it's likely to be atopic dermatitis. I've got it on my nipple area and I can tell you it has felt rather tender at times even quite far around my chest. Oh and there was some discharge too but it was due to inflammation, it was red raw at one point and I couldn't wear clothes without a patch.

[Letti1986]

Thanks for your message Wubu :) I appreciate it.
I’m mostly ok now. Referred myself for another round of CBT where I’m going to push myself past the discomfort of changing my anxious ways this time (not just pretend I feel better so I can run away like I did last time!)
The only thing I’m really struggling with right now is the damn ITCHING!! It can be anywhere, eats, feet, scalp, back, legs, hands... you get the picture.
Had a bit of a breakdown last Thursday and my husband forced me to the doctors, where he proceeded to tell the doctor that my anxiety had come back full force. It’s true, and I can’t blame him for making me go... It was starting to affect my kids and him, and I know I have to make a change. I told my doctor my fear of lymphoma and how this itching is bothering me. He said itching is so far down on the list of symptoms that they (doctors) consider, it was through the floor and nearer Australia. He felt my neck and said he isn’t concerned. But still... I worry. I’ve read too many things in the past that stick with me. Like people itching up to 5 years before being diagnosed etc. My blood work is good, a previous doctor felt my tummy to check for an enlarged spleen and it was fine. I know I’m just a “lumpy” person who is always going to have nodes that are easily felt. And I know they’re not a problem unless they’re evidently swollen enough to see and you don’t have to go feeling for them. As a rational person, I wish I could let go of my incessant need to “what if...?” the hell out of every situation. I drive myself crazy.
Some days this itchiness isn’t bad, other days like today, it’s maddening! And I can’t tell if it’s because my subconscious thought of it first that made it happen or if I have the itch and then it puts it in my mind. I’m even getting feelings of wondering if I’m actually itching sometimes or if it’s a different feeling that’s like an itch but deeper. Almost like a deep burning that’s everywhere. It’s so hard to explain but it’s making me uneasy. Could it be anxiety?? I just wish I could forget about it so it might make me stop feeling it. And then I wonder if that’s impossible because I’m feeling it because there is something wrong. Sorry if this has made anyone feel uncomfortable in their skin! Just venting I suppose. Believe it or not, I’m feeling a lot better, in my thoughts anyway. I’m not so sad and scared this week. Sorry to go on! xx

[wubu]

My grandfather bless him had lymphoma and I can tell you that if you compared your symptoms to his you would breath a sigh of relief.


The only way to forget about it is if you accept what the docs say and while you still have doubt your anxiety will still make you think negative.

Have you considered more simple things like reactions to washing liquids, body washes, something you introduced into your house since getting the itch? For a while ditch anything that isn't strictly for sensitive skin and see how it goes. Even make a food log too.

[Letti1986]

Thank you so much for that Wubu, I appreciate the reassurance. I’m sorry your grandfather suffered lymphoma. Puts it in perspective when I’m just worried. I feel a lot better today, a lot more level headed. I’m pretty sure my itching is from anxiety and then it puts it in my head and it just keeps going from one to the other. Chicken and egg situation! I do have very sensitive skin anyway, very pale and freckly too, so we only use the most sensitive of cosmetics and household items (Aveeno, Fairy etc.) But I’m sure that’s probably why I experience the itching in the first place. Even clothes labels and interlocking on clothes bother me, I just have heightened sensitivity I guess.
I’ve decided I’m just bored of it now, I’m going to fill my head with other things and just get on. Hope you have a lovely weekend xx

[Letti1986]

Soo, I’m back. The reason being night sweats again! 2 nights ago I woke up at 1.45am absolutely soaked in sweat around my chest, back of neck, around my groin and backs of knees... I was boiling hot too though soon cooled way down to the point I was shivering and couldn’t warm up. I tried to remain rational: it could be all the moisturiser I put in the bath in an attempt to soften my skin to stop it being so damn itchy, it could be the cup of sleepy tea I had before bed, it could be because I sleep naked except for knickers (sorry, tmi) and it’s a result of my skin on my own skin, blah blah blah. So last night I purposely kept the stat down to 17•c, had a glass of water before bed, and put a vest top on. I’d been cold all day and went to bed quite chilly too. My husband was away for work last night too so I can’t blame him for being a heater! It took some time to fall asleep, I guess I was wondering how the night would go and I woke up a couple of times to check if I were sweating and can’t say I was. Until 5.20am when I woke up boiling again and like someone had chucked water over my chest and back of neck and the other places I mentioned. The vest top had a noticeable wet sweat patch on it too as did my pillowcase at the bottom where my neck would rest and it was a bit damp on the sheet at shoulder level. (I can see a few dried sweat marks on the sheet too, from the night before. I wasn’t purposely looking, but my sheet is white and I just kind of noticed it yesterday.) I’m still trying to remain rational and was thinking maybe hormones again? But I’m not due on for 8-13 days (depending on when it wants to come, has recently been every 28 days but sometimes can be 31 or even 26) and last month when I first experienced the night sweats that I mentioned in my earlier posts, it started only 4 days before I started my period and continued for a couple of days during it. So, there we are. I hate that these things are still carrying on, I hate worrying. I just want to go back to normal! I have a doctor appointment later today, not to do with this but as a follow up to my last appointment a few weeks ago when I addressed my anxiety. Can I please point out that the reason I don’t think the night sweats are related to anxiety are because I’ve been feeling really quite alright the past couple of weeks, I joined the gym at the weekend again, had my hair done, spent a lot of time walking the dogs with my lovely sister... I’m not walking around in a panic or constantly stressing. And I don’t have a sweat problem during the day either which I’ve read is common with anxiety caused night sweats. Just wanted to add that, though I’m open to people disagreeing. Thanks for reading, it’s good to vent here instead of sitting with it in my own head xx

[Letti1986]

Forgot to mention, 2 nights ago when I woke at 1.45am with the sweats, I also woke up about 5am the same night with the same problem. So it happened twice in the night. Sorry, just want to make sure I record all the facts.