View Full Version : Here we go again.... melanoma? :(
Hi,
Just some background, I'm (just turned) 19 and male, if you didn't know
But anyway, I have a mole on the back of my head towards my scalp at the top that I've noticed I've been scratching and itching a lot lately and in turn it's been, I don't know about bleeding because I haven't seen any red... but I've noticed that area gets slightly damp when I scratch
Now, all over my scalp has been itching recently and I scratch my head a lot as a habit so I'm likely always irritating it. Upon feeling around my head now I can feel more bumps and itchy areas that feel inflamed or slightly raised but the one in question is the most noticeable
I took quite a low quality picture and the 'mole' is pinky/red and bright and looks inflamed
Could it even be a cyst?
Last time I worried about melanoma was after having suspicions about a mole on my face, my GP said it was normal
Thanks
You've been scratching it, of course it looks inflamed.
Don't worry about it.
No need for "here we go again". Common sense is enough here.
I hope you are getting on well with your A Level courses and have plenty of work to occupy you.
Thanks to you both & yes I'm soldering through my studies even when I may be worrying, like today
I think the mole looks like this: https://i.redd.it/ud6ytrd66px21.jpg
Maybe not as long and I can't see it 100% clearly but some of the pictures looked close to that
The person who asked if that mole was worrying was told that it didn't look worrying but that was a stranger who said that
But I'm so worried... should I go to the doctors?
brucealmighty
30-09-19, 21:08
yes go to the doctors
yes go to the doctors
You think it'll be cancer? & I will
Here's the mole, I think it went red because of all the scratching etc
It's after and before for some reason: https://imgur.com/a/5n416Pr
It doesn't itch anymore and I asked my mum and she said it looked round but I think she was lying to me
Could be just an inflamed hair follicle, turned into a bad 'pimple' or something.
Unlikely I think but maybe since it didn't actually bleed when I scratched it, it was more of a small quantity of clear fluid
I'm so scared, I really think this is gonna be it... and knowing that the doctor will definitely think it looks suspicious and I'll have to wait 4-6 weeks most likely for an appointment
nomorepanic
30-09-19, 23:06
You are jumping to conclusions again and making more out of it than needs to be so recognise that and calm down.
I can't, my mum just took another video for me and this time there were no hairs in the way and it looked really freaky... I rarely suffer from any actual classic symptoms of anxiety like a churning stomach with pain and trips to the loo, it's usually more a deep dull sense of dread with me, but now I'm suffering from all those symptoms
The mole actually looks horrific and irregular... I know this is cancer. Holy f***ing ****. Screw bowel cancer, who knows how long I've had this for?
Oh damn... oh damn... oh damn:weep: and it's on my scalp, probably the worst possible location for it to be. AMAZING. F***.
brucealmighty
30-09-19, 23:25
Toby, be rational for a second. Why does my opinion matter? And if it does, why don't you ever listen?
Do I think it's cancer? No. Do I know that for a fact? No. Do I think engaging with you helps? No. But I'm a compassionate person and one day I may help someone.
I'm off to bed so I hope you start to employ the techniques you know and stop assuming everything is cancer.
I'm actually scared to post the most recent picture of what it looks like because I think everyone else will freak out too... and I mean that genuinely, it looks horrible
It's sinking in that THIS IS IT :(
Toby, be rational for a second. Why does my opinion matter? And if it does, why don't you ever listen?
Do I think it's cancer? No. Do I know that for a fact? No. Do I think engaging with you helps? No. But I'm a compassionate person and one day I may help someone.
I'm off to bed so I hope you start to employ the techniques you know and stop assuming everything is cancer.
Thanks. I'm sorry I'm a mess. I'll take your advice for sure and go and get it checked tomorrow but in the mean time.... I'M A MESS:scared15:
brucealmighty
30-09-19, 23:29
Oh well you've had a good innings. And your mum will be able to go for a crap in peace without you listening at the door. Love and prayers as always.
Oh well you've had a good innings. And your mum will be able to go for a crap in peace without you listening at the door. Love and prayers as always.
I haven't had 'good innings' at all and I know what your intentions were with this but I'm just going to rise above it and say thank you.
Ohhh I can't believe this
I'm PRAYING that it's an 'atypical mole' - a non-cancerous mole that is irregular looking
MyNameIsTerry
01-10-19, 02:02
No's:
- stop taking pictures
- stop posting them on here (we aren't going to look at them and we aren't qualified to judge them anyway)
- stop looking to compare with others across the internet
- stop Googling pointless stories to compare to people with/without cancers
When you come back from your GP with the likely all clear that he is not interested in it then you will have another chance at stopping the cycle continuing by not doing the above again.
Reaction, Toby. Do you think people without health anxiety themes panic like this? So, what makes them different? Why wouldn't they be bothered and even if they were they wouldn't be up all night panicking and researching the internet about it? Does that not show there is one issue in play here with all this - anxiety?
So, what are you going to do right now to work on this? Are you going to try to stop yourself reading nonsense on the internet trying to validate you have another cancer? Are you going to notice that the cancer you said was the worst anxiety you've ever had (which you had said before anyway about something else) has instantly been replaced by this new one that has popped up today? Are you going to start making spurious links between bowel cancers and this new one? Or are you going to recognise the panic cycle you are in and reduce unhealthy behaviours like above, get yourself off the internet and doing other things? Are you going to use any techniques your therapist has taught you or that we have mentioned at length throughout your threads?
Thanks Terry... but if you saw the latest picture I took you'd probably freak out too. I truly think this is it. I would bet £1000 on it. It has many hallmarks of a cancerous mole
I know it's annoying but right now I'm in panic mode. I guess people without HA wouldn't panic this much but people without HA get cancer :(
I am trying relaxation techniques and reassuring myself that it might be something innocent but the odds aren't in my favor here
MyNameIsTerry
01-10-19, 02:26
Here's the mole, I think it went red because of all the scratching etc
It's after and before for some reason: https://imgur.com/a/5n416Pr
It doesn't itch anymore and I asked my mum and she said it looked round but I think she was lying to me
^ but like you said.
If the difference is it's red then it's just been disturbed. Turning red because you are digging your nails into it causing inflammation & bleeding isn't the same as it changing shape and changing to some ugly colour.
Also when you peck at things they may heal in different shapes simply because of how they crust over and how the skin around it has been disturbed.
What does your mum think?
MyNameIsTerry
01-10-19, 02:29
Thanks Terry... but if you saw the latest picture I took you'd probably freak out too. I truly think this is it. I would bet £1000 on it. It has many hallmarks of a cancerous mole
I know it's annoying but right now I'm in panic mode. I guess people without HA wouldn't panic this much but people without HA get cancer :(
I am trying relaxation techniques and reassuring myself that it might be something innocent but the odds aren't in my favor here
But if they all ignored real cancers they would be dying in droves and the NHS would be all over it. They aren't and they aren't.
The point is people without HA also get lumps & bumps all over their bodies throughout their lifetimes but they don't head for a doctor every time they come across something. Those that do, are on here or similar for a reason.
Rationalise. You've been disturbing a mole so it's disturbed. Aren't the odds more in favour that it's a mole that has been picked rather than a cancer that has coincidentally been picked at?
^ but like you said.
If the difference is it's red then it's just been disturbed. Turning red because you are digging your nails into it causing inflammation & bleeding isn't the same as it changing shape and changing to some ugly colour.
Also when you peck at things they may heal in different shapes simply because of how they crust over and how the skin around it has been disturbed.
What does your mum think?
True, I guess, but I don't know what the original colour was, maybe it'd always been funny. I think I checked it after picking it a lot but I can't remember that well... last time I showed the GP a reddish mole, they said that it had trauma applied to it which is why it looked funny. But with this one, it's the shape and size too, I can't tell if it's greater than 6mm because I don't have a ruler but I feel like it might well be. And the shape looks a little jagged in parts but I can't tell 100% because it's in an awkward place
Really? Oh dear god I'm hoping that's the case. We shall see :(
& my mum thinks I'm overreacting but she's also the one who still has on and off stomach problems but isn't going to the GP. Plus she said it looked 'perfectly round' but I think she must've been lying to try and make me feel better - but she said I should go to the doctors if I want to. She really never shares the same opinions as me
But if they all ignored real cancers they would be dying in droves and the NHS would be all over it. They aren't and they aren't.
The point is people without HA also get lumps & bumps all over their bodies throughout their lifetimes but they don't head for a doctor every time they come across something. Those that do, are on here or similar for a reason.
Rationalise. You've been disturbing a mole so it's disturbed. Aren't the odds more in favour that it's a mole that has been picked rather than a cancer that has coincidentally been picked at?
Part of my superstitious mind is always like, if you ignore it and shrug it off, then this will be the one
And yeah I know, my dad and grandma are covered in moles, and my other grandma had a suspicious one but it turned out to be benign. But if you saw the one in question, you'd FREAK OUT I promise you, or at least those red flags would sign in your head... it's a nightmare to look at, but then again, so was the last mole I was worrying about.
Also, what if those two armpit lymph nodes were temporarily swollen because of the possible melanoma. They went down but still
I'm sure, I hope, you'll be right about this... I have a long night ahead of me though
EDIT: Thanks for taking the time to reply by the way it's really helped
MyNameIsTerry
01-10-19, 03:10
I agree with your mum. She is a lot more objective about such things than you are.
If you want to live on a knife edge all your life you will eventually die because we all do. What does that achieve? You could be knocked down by a bus that HAers don't care about because it's not part of your anxiety focus and one reason why anxious people stand out for being irrational.
When you come back from the GP watch how long it takes for your subconscious to start hinting all the flaws in the GP assessment and that one chance a GP gets it wrong because of xyz.
Get onto something else to distract your mind. Can you do some A-Level work?
I agree with your mum. She is a lot more objective about such things than you are.
If you want to live on a knife edge all your life you will eventually die because we all do. What does that achieve? You could be knocked down by a bus that HAers don't care about because it's not part of your anxiety focus and one reason why anxious people stand out for being irrational.
When you come back from the GP watch how long it takes for your subconscious to start hinting all the flaws in the GP assessment and that one chance a GP gets it wrong because of xyz.
Get onto something else to distract your mind. Can you do some A-Level work?
I was going to recap some content tonight but I literally feel SICK. I make myself do it in the day though, I did it this afternoon even after discovering the mole.
WiseMonkey
01-10-19, 04:31
It's not melanoma, you're way too young ... but do get it checked out ie by your Dr.
It's not melanoma, you're way too young ... but do get it checked out ie by your Dr.
I read that it can form at any age- but I will do, thank you
It wasn't cancer... I'm so shocked
She took one look at it and said it looks like it's just scabbing because I scratched it and it's too small compared to melanomas
I'm sorry everyone for being so dramatic. The picture was so alarming though
nomorepanic
01-10-19, 11:54
You need to remember this next time you panic then. As I said overreacting causing yourself more stress. You were 100% sure you were going to die last night.
I know this is the fourth or fifth episode of me rapidly convincing myself I have a new major symptom or illness and then running to the doctors and every time they’ve said it’s either nothing or something innocent
Weight loss that I thought was because of bowel cancer - I hadn’t actually lost any weight
Spots on chest that I thought was neurofibromatosis (sp?) - it was a fungal infection
Yellow hue around my eyes that I thought was jaundice - it was normal and it had been that way for ages
The first mole that I thought was melanoma and actually it scanned
and now this
and of course the bood in stool episodes
It’s so frustrating but THIS is going to be a lesson for next time, I promise
nomorepanic
01-10-19, 13:11
I wish we could believe that Toby but I think there will be another drama very soon. It is how you deal with it that matters.
I think you need to set a plan in place for the next time something happens that scares you, Toby,
If you're really serious about this, Toby then why not ask for this thread to be closed? You've been reassured by a GP. The scare is over.
You can always start a new thread entitled "Managing my HA" when you next have a scare because all this drama is unnecessary, exhausting and pointless.
brucealmighty
01-10-19, 21:57
agree with you Pulisa 100%, I get too drawn into all this having suffered badly with HA myself over the years, the theatrical nature of the posts, the repetition etc all smack of boredom and fear of adulthood.
I don`t say that to be smarmy Toby, but I see someone young and healthy, intelligent, lucid, engaging, literally throwing their life down the nearest toilet looking constantly for new fears
you won`t get better by repeating the same patterns. you will reinforce them and find them increasingly hard to break
find things to do outside of this forum, I get the impression that this is where you test out your arguing skills, standing up for yourself to strangers and so on without the risk of doing it in real life, but this isn`t real. you have to engage with the big world or you may as well be sat at home with some incurable illness.
life really can be rather marvellous but it won`t come knocking for you, you need to get up and meet it halfway.
It wasn't cancer... I'm so shocked
Nobody else is :roflmao:
MyNameIsTerry
02-10-19, 02:18
I know this is the fourth or fifth episode of me rapidly convincing myself I have a new major symptom or illness and then running to the doctors and every time they’ve said it’s either nothing or something innocent
Weight loss that I thought was because of bowel cancer - I hadn’t actually lost any weight
Spots on chest that I thought was neurofibromatosis (sp?) - it was a fungal infection
Yellow hue around my eyes that I thought was jaundice - it was normal and it had been that way for ages
The first mole that I thought was melanoma and actually it scanned
and now this
and of course the bood in stool episodes
It’s so frustrating but THIS is going to be a lesson for next time, I promise
When you say this are you finding you are calmer at the time? If so, doesn't that show how this is that rational Toby and the one in the middle of panic isn't objective? Therefore you know sitting it out, and working on your anxiety, until it reduces brings back rational Toby.
Good that you are keeping the A-Levels going even through it's hard. Try to carry on with that because once you slide it can become an obstacle starting again.
WiseMonkey
02-10-19, 21:30
It wasn't cancer... I'm so shocked
She took one look at it and said it looks like it's just scabbing because I scratched it and it's too small compared to melanomas
I'm sorry everyone for being so dramatic. The picture was so alarming though
You did the sensible thing getting it checked out, now you can use the experience to change the way you react to your 'melanoma fears' in the future :)
I wondered why there hadnt been any activity on you other post....oh toby. I dont even know where to start
brucealmighty
02-10-19, 23:01
could this thread be locked soon before it descends into the usual fun and games?
It`s not cancer, Toby and the world know he shouldn`t have picked at a mole, GP has said all is good, there`s nothing more to add that will help surely?
could this thread be locked soon before it descends into the usual fun and games?
Sadly locking threads doesn't help cure people, if it was that easy 'pull yourself together' would work as a statement also!
I’m glad I found this thread at the end and not the beginning. I hope the lessons you learn are not to just carry on with life, but to seek help for your anxiety so that you have more tools in place for next time.
brucealmighty
03-10-19, 15:44
Sadly locking threads doesn't help cure people, if it was that easy 'pull yourself together' would work as a statement also!
So roll on the floor laughing at toby is fine but locking threads isn't?
Cheap shot at me there Carys, no need for that. I've been through a lot and don't need your expert opinion thanks.
......but happy to give your opinion about locking threads. It was no 'cheap shot', I was giving my reply/opinion to your opinion, such is the nature of a public forum.
brucealmighty
03-10-19, 17:02
It was a cheap shot to liken my suggestion to a glib 'pull yourself together' approach. Toby's rectal thread didn't help did it? Over 5000 posts back and to.
Please post any great ideas you've got that might help him Carys, I'm recovered and come on here to try and help, not dig at others. You should try it sometime.
IMO no-one was having a go.
I read Carys's post to mean that closing threads has been proven not to work.
Please post any great ideas you've got that might help him Carys, I'm recovered and come on here to try and help, not dig at others. You should try it sometime.
Rightho Bruce. Sorry you see it that way, and are taking it as a personal insult . It is MY OPINION (as Elen indicated in her summary above) that closing and locking threads is used here as a last resort in certain circumstances (by admin, not at request of members); however whilst people are communicating, learning and developing from the other members and at least having an outlet for their fears, its a positive thing surely. I was saying that simply closing a thread does nothing more than make the person upset, makes them start a new thread and won't lessen their fear and anxiety. However, continuing to point the sufferer, through talking, in the right direction is a better way to move. After all, wouldn't that 'thread closing strategy' apply to most people on the HA board who start a thread, nearly all of them have what non HA sufferers would term a 'positive outcome' and yet they still doubt it and carry on worrying. Not much more I can say really. I really don't think what I said merited your outrage.
Toby's rectal thread didn't help did it?
Well, maybe Toby can answer that himself, everyone learns at different rates and I'm sure there are some elements of that whole massive thread which made some impact on him. So, he isn't 'cured' by it, no, but that doesn't mean it achieved nothing. If you've been there yourself, you will know how this works, just being told you are ok and reassured isn't often the end of it.
brucealmighty
03-10-19, 17:20
Big text always helps. Thanks.
Its called emphasis. Thats all.
IMO no-one was having a go.
I read Carys's post to mean that closing threads has been proven not to work.
Surely it's progress if the OP requests admin to close the thread? This means that the OP is serious about addressing their HA offline using the advice and the techniques suggested on these epic threads? The OP takes the initiative? The OP gains confidence and it's not all about reliance on a small group of contributors to the thread which can't be a good thing practically?
I agree Pulisa, but it wasn't the OP in this case.
No that hasn't happened but it was just a suggestion that I made a few pages back which Toby (in this case) could consider as a future "strategy"?
Sorry I've only just seen all of this- I had a sorta decent couple of days after all of that panic
Sorry for causing a load of trouble, I feel really icky and guilty... it's my fault for jumping to conclusions all the time, I know it must be so annoying to see me go 'round in circles all the time with these threads. I'll have to make more of an effort not to run to the doctors next time
On locking the threads.. I just think, knowing how anxiety works, it's better to leave it open because a new one would just arise after this one is locked, the next time, if there is a next time- hypothetically.
Should I start a general HA thread so I don't keep opening a load of separate ones?
& thanks Terry, I'm reaching my first assignment, just trying to nail in and go over what I've learned so far before I do it- which has surprisingly sunk in quite well.
Next time you think you are doomed why don't you start a thread which deals with managing your HA despite your fears/symptoms. Start from the assumption that you are going to manage the current crisis and not leap in dramatically to the worst case scenario?
And good for you for having the discipline to progress with your A Levels on your own. So much better to do that than fall foul to boring HA.
omg I get those its a fluid pimple build upthat happens when a hair follicle gets clogged with sweat and dirt they can bleed and or drain a clear serous fluid leave it alone snd it will go away
Next time you think you are doomed why don't you start a thread which deals with managing your HA despite your fears/symptoms. Start from the assumption that you are going to manage the current crisis and not leap in dramatically to the worst case scenario?
And good for you for having the discipline to progress with your A Levels on your own. So much better to do that than fall foul to boring HA.
I will try that. Thanks Pulisa
And yeah I've even been enjoying doing them. Religious studies more than English but I'm making an effort in both
omg I get those its a fluid pimple build upthat happens when a hair follicle gets clogged with sweat and dirt they can bleed and or drain a clear serous fluid leave it alone snd it will go away
That's what I thought it was too, but it seemed flat enough to be considered a mole so I wasn't sure. But yeah, thanks for the advice, I've left it alone for a couple of weeks now and will continue to do so
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