I want to work

[josephine]

Hi,I havent posted for a while but have been on here nearly every day.I really would love to get a part time job but even thinking about it makes me panic. My son has started secondary school and i know its time for me to get out there and help financially but even thinking about it makes me feel sick to the stomach. I have an application form for a job as a classroom assistant in a local primary and i would love to do something like that, but i know in my heart its out of my league. Even the form is too much, i have to give employer refrences, but i have not worked for 12 years, i cannot give these references. Things are so difficult these days. I just feel useless. My husband tells me the first step is the hardest, but i know it will always be hard, near impossible for me. I suffer from general anxiety, which has lead to social anxiety also. I am good for nothing, except being a mum and im fine with that but society expects you to work. I can barely manage parents evenings and short social functions, how on earth could i hold down a job. I am 38 and have wasted my life, except for having my son. I just want to be normal, with normal worries and anxieties, not this full blown fear that i live with everyday!!! Does anyone feel similar to this?Its good to share thoughts and feelings with people on this site. If it doesnt take the anxiety away it makes you feel you are not alone.Josephine.x

[Piglet]

I used to work as a classroom ass and dinner lady for 4 years when the kids were smaller and I loved it - the kids really take you out of yourself.

Can I just say though that there is no more important job than raising the next generation - you be proud to be a 'mum at home' mate and make no apologies for it!!!!:yesyes:

Love Piglet :flowers:

[Nicki22]

understand how you feel !
im 23 now and never been able to work just thinking of it makes me feel ill !
i guess since i got kicked of the sick then put back on really scared me of what might happen !
but when i feel so low i just want a diffrent life to the one i got now

pm if you ever want to chat hun xoxox

[MissChampers]

I've just pm'd you Josephine.:)

[yorkylover]

Hello Josephine.You are not alone in how you are feeling.I have an evening cleaning job which Iv had for years,long before all my problems started.I have managed to keep this one,but I dont see many people there and its pretty quiet.I would love like you to get a day job.We need the money and I feel a failure that Im terrified of interviews ect.
I once phoned for a job and had an interview all went great.When I got home I phoned them up and told them I had been offered another job because I couldnt face starting there and everything being new,she replied"thats a real shame as I was going to offer you the position"I have regreted that day ever since.:weep: :weep: Im 41 and I want to be normal to.:hugs:

[josephine]

Thank you all so much for your replies. Its great to be reminded that there is such kind and caring people out there. Thats the thing really, we all hav so many good qualities and so much to offer but this anxiety makes it so difficult to show what we are really capbable of.I know i could be a good classroom assisitant, i like children and helping them learn must be wonderful. But with this crippling anxiety i might as well try and fly to the moon.Anyway, maybe with the help of this site i may get there one day.( Not the moon, the job,lol).Good luck to you all,Love Josephine.x

[SHYGIRLAJB]

Hi josephine

I know how you feel :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: , I would like to work, but at the moment I do not feel up to it. Worrying about everthing, I panic and get upset over the slightest things. I would be worried if I went to an interview and wouldn't know what to say etc.

I personally don't feel upto it, if you see what I mean. Well at least you have been a good mum and that is a job looking after children and hubby.

shygirlajb

[josephine]

Thanks Shygirlajb,I know we should value ourselves whatever we do. It doesnt help when people ask, when are you going to work or what do you do all day? I feel some people, family members judge me, which is not nice as i would not judge them. They dont have any idea of how anxiety affects your life.Maybe im paranoid, i dont know.Josephine.x