Fear of pregnancy is taking over my life/relationship?

[scaredpt]

I’m in a long term relationship with a great guy and so far we’ve just been using condoms. I am on the waiting list to see my gynecologist to think about birth control and see what the options are-although I’m concerned about the hormones and my anxiety. Even though condoms are better than nothing I’ve started to try to avoid sex for fear of getting pregnant, which is obviously interfering in my relationship. Any tips to think realistically about my risk? And stop this thinking

[bin tenn]

Well, there are two options: 1) continue what you're already doing, or 2) abstain. Option 1 always runs a risk, even when using other forms of birth control - and even when combined with other forms. Option 2 is the only guaranteed method to prevent pregnancy. We all know what causes pregnancy, and you know the risk is there. If you want to avoid it, you'll have to abstain. Otherwise, do the best you can to prevent it, but know that it can still happen.

[Fishmanpa]

Unless you get your tubes tied, there's always a minuscule chance even with protection. Add a second method (ex: pill + condom) and the chances are even less if at all statistically possible. Even the pill isn't 100% effective. All that said, the chances are truly minimal. Let's say you're on the pill and it's 99.6% effective. Statistically, 1 in 100 can still get pregnant. Condoms are around 85% effective. Common sense sexual activity combined with those two methods make it as impossible as you can statically get. Add to that the whole menstrual cycle timing and fertile periods and I think you see what I'm getting at.

Mutual attraction and physical intimacy in a relationship are a vital aspect in keeping the relationship healthy. To deprive yourself and your partner due to an irrational fear is a line in the sand moment concerning anxiety. In fact, having had a failed marriage due to mental illness, I can say that first hand.

PT, I've responded to many of your threads over the last couple of years. The subject matter of your post history is evident and extensive. Let's be real here for once. Do you love this man? Do you want to grow and nurture your relationship? Is an engagement something you think about? If so, from the bottom of my heart, I urge you to get real life help for your anxiety. Without telling my story, I can honestly say, had my ex had tried to treat the problem, things may be different than they are today.

Positive thoughts

So, it that doesn't ease your mind, I would say abstinence :shrug:

[Scass]

I’m in a long term relationship with a great guy and so far we’ve just been using condoms. I am on the waiting list to see my gynecologist to think about birth control and see what the options are-although I’m concerned about the hormones and my anxiety. Even though condoms are better than nothing I’ve started to try to avoid sex for fear of getting pregnant, which is obviously interfering in my relationship. Any tips to think realistically about my risk? And stop this thinking

How about you talk to your doctor about your fear too? Perhaps instead of avoiding your fear you could get some help with it?

[ErinKC]

I agree with Scass that it's a good idea to bring the fear up with your doctor also. One way to add a slightly extra level of protection would be to just abstain around the time when you're ovulating. I'll say that I really only ever used condoms my whole life and never got pregnant by accident. There's always a risk, but it's a small one.