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View Full Version : Life...with moles as the topping



nicole97
10-10-19, 19:56
Life has really been handing crud to me lately and it's overwhelming. Between money issues, car trouble, furnace problems, general weight issues plus issues with my husband's health. Then there is my dad who is dying (actually dying, on hospice care) of esophageal cancer and I am devastated. He's my hero.

To top it off, had my usual 6 month check at the derm. Last couple have actually been fine for once (rare). This time, 3 moles taken off (one I asked to be removed, but TWO she was concerned about - and one of those is on my scalp). I'm trying not to worry about them but with everything else going on, it's so hard to keep that anxiety under control. I really just want to curl up and cry.

lofwyr
10-10-19, 22:34
I am the king of moles. I have so many, and I hate them so much. And this is the year when the wheels came off with basal cell and actinic keratosis galore. I went from one fine skin check a year to suddenly having spots and things start showing up all over. Nothing suspicious for melanoma yet, at least, but covered in suspicious squamous cell, pre cancer, and basal cell type lesions that are all being monitored or biopsied.

The thing is, you have plenty of real anxiety. Allow yourself to feel that. Your husband and father's situations are understandable, don't try to have "no" anxiety about that. Allow it. It is natural. Moles do not equal cancer, and skin cancer does not equal death. I am on a support group that is filled with people dealing with skin cancer vitrually as a chronic condition. It is not fun, and it is at times scary, but the worst case scenario is you have a vigilant dermatologist who caught something early and focus on your father.

Quinn1
11-10-19, 10:51
Well I must be the Queen of Moles.

Nicole :hugs:

nicole97
11-10-19, 11:29
Thank you both of you! Having had melanoma come up once before is why any new findings terrify me. I think having my father dying and my husband having issues also fuels this so much because I Just think about my children, especially my youngest. I was doing pretty well last night but I just woke up in a cold sweat, just full of anxiety. Ugh I hate this! If it had been moles that I was only concerned with, I would be a bit calmer, but when the Derm is concerned, that is what scares me. Every time. She said she is absolutely not worried and is confident they will just come back as atypical but she can’t really know with the results (and she knows how scared I get).

nicole97
11-10-19, 11:32
Lofwyr- I am sorry you have had to deal with the bccs! While those are the “best” ones (is there really such a thing?), I know they can be numerous and a pain. :-(

nicole97
11-10-19, 19:19
Ugh. I am so, so nervous. ☹️

bin tenn
11-10-19, 22:28
Sorry you're so nervous, Nicole. And I'm also sorry to hear about your father. My dad also died from esophageal cancer, and it's no walk in the park. I hope things go as smoothly as they can, all things considered. And I hope you get news about the mole removals as well.

nicole97
12-10-19, 05:37
Thanks Bin! Sorry about your dad. You’re right, absolutely not a walk in the park and I don’t feel like I’m handling it very well at all.

nicole97
13-10-19, 18:20
Now I feel like I’m taking everything I have had the last few days and assuming I have skin cancer that spread (like lower back pain or a cough). This is such a terrible thing to have (HA).

nicole97
14-10-19, 14:51
And the anxiety just increases by the minute. Gah! :scared15:

BlueIris
14-10-19, 15:34
Just because you're afraid, it doesn't mean that there's anything to be afraid of - just that your anxiety's on overdrive.

nicole97
14-10-19, 15:51
Major overdrive! :(

WiseMonkey
14-10-19, 23:43
Well I must be the Queen of Moles.

Nicole :hugs:

Bet I'm catching up with ya Quinn1! Aus & NZ sun is the worse for celtic skinned persons!!

nicole97
15-10-19, 04:05
Bet I'm catching up with ya Quinn1! Aus & NZ sun is the worse for celtic skinned persons!!

I have heard that!!

lofwyr
15-10-19, 04:37
Just had three new growths this week all on my face. When it rains it pours as they say

nicole97
15-10-19, 12:46
Oh lofwyr, so sorry to hear! Are they having you do that chemo cream stuff?

lofwyr
15-10-19, 14:19
Yeah, but maybe a touch of mohs first. The good news is it is all caught early and while not particularly fun, it also isn't particularly dangerous either.

nicole97
15-10-19, 15:37
Unfortunately I seem to come up with the dangerous ones. :-( Anxiety getting worse with each passing day without a call with results.

Sparky16
15-10-19, 22:14
Dermatology results always take a long time, and the wait has no bearing on the outcome. Sometimes I've gotten a call back just a couple of days later saying everything was fine, and other times I've waited a week or more and still everything was fine.

nicole97
16-10-19, 15:28
Oh I know. I have looked back at the history on the patient portal and some have taken 1 day, some have taken 7 - only one took more than 7 and that was because it was over the holidays. Tomorrow will be day 7. I just hate the waiting. There is just so much other stuff going on, I don't want to have to worry about this, but all that other stuff is just magnifying this. :weep:

nicole97
17-10-19, 12:35
Okay now I’m really hyperventilating. It has only taken this long twice before to get results. Once it was benign and once it was melanoma. 😳

nicole97
17-10-19, 15:02
Benign!! Yay!!! Ugh, I hate being moley and I hate that melanoma has come up before, it makes me way too paranoid!!

Sparky16
18-10-19, 05:05
Just came here to see if you'd heard anything. Great news! :yahoo: