Anxiety back and I don’t know what to do

[My happy ever after]

Hi everyone I hope you are all doing well.
I haven’t posted for ages but I’ve been following the forum.

I have had a really tough year and it’s finally all caught up with me.

It all started after I had issues with my return to work after maternity leave 12 months ago, I ended up resigning in the summer as my confidence was shattered and I couldn’t take it there anymore.

Then my baby had pneumonia and was in hospital, then my older daughter has been having some issues at school and we’ve been going through lots of assessments and diagnostics. Lots of uncertainty that my anxiety thrives on.

My husband then had pneumonia and was seriously ill in the summer.

Things settled and i found a wonderful new job and was successful at interview and started 6 weeks ago. I was so happy for this opportunity.

Since starting my job I have had awful anxiety and panic attacks like never before even whilst I’m at work my heart is pounding -my fitness watch often says my heart is over 110, I am sweating profusely even through 48hr deodorant (sorry tmi) and awful tight chest, light headeness and just catastrophizing and over thinking everything:(

Also having back pain and shoulder pains.

I just can’t carry on like this. I’ve always managed to use mindfulness and meditation to keep my anxiety level and had some CBT in the past.

I’ve tried chamomile tea, rescue remedy and it’s not helping a lot.


I am going to see GP tomorrow and discuss what I can do and I’m open to starting treatment for the first time. But I’m scared of medication but I think it may be needed now.

I’m due in work tomorrow and I just can’t face it, but I’m so worried taking time off of a new job too. I just can’t win. I’m worried I’ll then lose my job as I’m on probationary period. But if I don’t address this now then I’m going to end up very poorly so I think I’m going to have to.

My logical side says tell work i will be late as got to go to see the dr.
Then see the dr and see what they advise and if I get signed off then let work know.

I’ve lost all confidence in myself and just feel like I’m letting everyone down. I just want to feel happy again.
Can anyone give me any advice.
I think I may have some depression now too.
Thank you.

[ankietyjoe]

Sorry to hear you're going through this right now, but everything you have described coincides with my own observations about how anxiety works and what stress can do to you.

I think it's important to really remind yourself of what you've been through, and how you've explained it here. You've had a very tough year and it's caught up with you.

I once read a great analogy that described a cup full of liquid, and the cup was being swirled around. In the analogy the cup is your life, and the liquid is your mental state. Even though your life is now more stable (the cup is no longer moving), the liquid inside (your mental state) can take a long time to settle fully.

I think your post is implying that you've had anxiety before and recovered from it using mindfulness and meditation, and I would urge you to refocus your efforts with that as it's very powerful.

It was layers of stress that caused the issue to surface again, and it's probably going to take layers of 'treatment' to recover. You need to tell yourself that you know this will take time, but you also know that the anxiety will pass if you let it. This is an important message your subconscious needs to believe. It needs repeating again and again.

I think you have to trust in what you know as it's worked in the past, and give yourself time to rebuild reserves of strength. The new job is a tough call, but you've already identified the need to pay attention to what's going on.

One thing's for sure, I don't think this is a case of letting anyone down. Stress is monstrous and can destroy the way we feel, and you have to give yourself time to let the effects of it pass.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Keeping letting us know how you are getting on here too.

I have started a new job recently too - and itÂ’s stressful worrying about what people think and whether they will like you.

If you think about floating through your day at work it can help and only doing what you can- things will fall into place when you feel better now. What sort of work is it?xx

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Also what has been affecting your confidence?