coastgirl
23-10-19, 01:07
So the past few months I've been struggling with a huge uptick in generalized anxiety and panic attacks. Usually the panic attacks are brought on by something tangible - I had a very bad one while eating and a restaurant and I thought I was having an allergic reaction because I suddenly felt very off and had a crawling feeling in my skin - kind of like the full body flush you get when you're about to have diarrhea. It WAS NOT an allergic reaction but a panic attack - whether the full body feeling was separate or the panic attack itself I'm not sure.
Anyway, anxiety has been infiltrating all areas of my life right now with new fears appearing right and left. What if I throw up on this date I'm on? What if I have a panic attack while driving? And these situations are all accompanied by near panic attack feelings - I am struggling to use my mental weapons against them. My rare use of Xanax has increased lately - I had to take one on the date I was on because I was suddenly exceedingly nauseous and I thought I would have to leave if I couldn't take anything. It's ridiculous.
I am an avid surfer, and it brings me so much joy. However lately I've been suffering from a fear of having a panic attack in the water and passing out or a number of other what if scenarios. Today I was entering the water on a beautiful day where the waves were slightly on the medium-large side (but nothing I can't handle - these conditions should have been totally fine for me, I'm very experienced). And I wimped out. I was so fearful of getting out there and then having a panic attack that I didn't even go in. And I just broke down in tears and I've just been so upset all day. A beautiful day wasted because of this anxiety that I can't seem to control.
My current therapist has NOT been helping at all with my anxiety...she just "agrees" with me that these situations could cause anxiety and has not been helping me battle the thoughts I'm having. So, I'm looking for a new therapist but it's hard to find a new one and takes time.
Anyway, just venting. I've just felt so upset about all of this and that I can't seem to break out of this pit of anxiety I've fallen into :(
Anyway, anxiety has been infiltrating all areas of my life right now with new fears appearing right and left. What if I throw up on this date I'm on? What if I have a panic attack while driving? And these situations are all accompanied by near panic attack feelings - I am struggling to use my mental weapons against them. My rare use of Xanax has increased lately - I had to take one on the date I was on because I was suddenly exceedingly nauseous and I thought I would have to leave if I couldn't take anything. It's ridiculous.
I am an avid surfer, and it brings me so much joy. However lately I've been suffering from a fear of having a panic attack in the water and passing out or a number of other what if scenarios. Today I was entering the water on a beautiful day where the waves were slightly on the medium-large side (but nothing I can't handle - these conditions should have been totally fine for me, I'm very experienced). And I wimped out. I was so fearful of getting out there and then having a panic attack that I didn't even go in. And I just broke down in tears and I've just been so upset all day. A beautiful day wasted because of this anxiety that I can't seem to control.
My current therapist has NOT been helping at all with my anxiety...she just "agrees" with me that these situations could cause anxiety and has not been helping me battle the thoughts I'm having. So, I'm looking for a new therapist but it's hard to find a new one and takes time.
Anyway, just venting. I've just felt so upset about all of this and that I can't seem to break out of this pit of anxiety I've fallen into :(