mocata
23-10-19, 23:47
I feel like I am not a real person and a bit scared. like not having boundaries. I am kinda ugly (as a child people said this non-maliciously, saying I am a good friend lol!) but I know it's nothing shameful to be but feel like people will be disgusted if I talk. I feel real sometimes. I think my health anxiety brings it out also, also making it harder to exercise and hike/ be healthy.
I tend to wish I was like other people around me who are: pretty, creative, comfortable being alone, not bitter or seeming cruel, and not myself, not really because I hate myself but I wish to be someone... to have a sense of self. I think also that religion could help this rather than hinder. But I would be religious in any situation I think
I am a student and I like my degree, it's rly wonderful... but I have no friends, I used to draw and write as a child but not really anymore, although I do sometimes and it's really nice, maybe I feel the need less tho.
people are so kind and I want to give back but at the same time I don't make any effort to befriend people when there is an opportunity, Ive been alone so long I don't know what I'd do but I know I need to start speaking in some way. it is just the fear of people being disgusted
I wonder if everybody feels the same? sometimes I think it is so... and just need to learn how to respond and act better hehe..
thank u for any response so much
I tend to wish I was like other people around me who are: pretty, creative, comfortable being alone, not bitter or seeming cruel, and not myself, not really because I hate myself but I wish to be someone... to have a sense of self. I think also that religion could help this rather than hinder. But I would be religious in any situation I think
I am a student and I like my degree, it's rly wonderful... but I have no friends, I used to draw and write as a child but not really anymore, although I do sometimes and it's really nice, maybe I feel the need less tho.
people are so kind and I want to give back but at the same time I don't make any effort to befriend people when there is an opportunity, Ive been alone so long I don't know what I'd do but I know I need to start speaking in some way. it is just the fear of people being disgusted
I wonder if everybody feels the same? sometimes I think it is so... and just need to learn how to respond and act better hehe..
thank u for any response so much