View Full Version : Last hurdle
So, I've made alot of progress with my heath anxiety. I no longer google or run to the doctors every day of the week. I feel like I'm getting somewhere, like I'm nearly breaking the wheel but I'm still struggling with one thing- heart. Mainly heart rate. I always had a slightly higher heart rate (in the 80's to 90's.) yet at my worst points it can jump up to anywhere between 175-190 bpm. I had quite a had rush of anxiety today and I went to the pharmacy today to get it checked. They said my blood pressure was text book perfect. My heart rate was about 130 when I went in and she took it a few times before it came down to about 102 bpm.
My Doctor has taken my pulse before, said everything fine- yet when I get that thudding feeling. I can't control it, it sets me off. Yet I am better at coming around and somewhat enjoying my day afterwards- not in a total look out in total fear anymore. Yet it seems to hit me in alot of places, public, at home- trying to sleep. It starts rattling in my chest and my limbs go super weak....it always feels like the end of everything. I also tend to wake up with like numb limbs and a super racing heart. This really sets me off for the rest of the day. I'm also having issues with pain my left arm (mainly in the wrist and fingers are)
Yet with this fear, I've been managing to get out more. In the last month I've only missed one social outing I was invited too over HA. Which I'm very proud of, I used to hide away and refuse to go anywhere. Sometimes I feel like my body feels so sick and I feel so distance, I'm getting better at grounding myself. Yet today I had a bad moment I'm feeling more in control.
Anyway, the point of this post was to ask people if they had any natural things to help? My gp doesn't want to put me on meds which is understanding as I'm only 23 years old. Like I try breathing but I wondering if anyone has another tips xxx
Thank you for reading x
I did have tests for my heart in 2018 and I feel like I've had so many issues with the heart I would be able to get over it fully but it's the last step
I wish I could help more a Sarah, you’re doing SO well.
I don’t really have the same anxieties as you, but I used to find that the act of pausing and concentrating on something else helped. I think it’s very like mindfulness really. I used to suck on a polo, or take some Bach’s rescue remedy. Often those things would refocus my mind enough that I forgot the panic x
The only thing I can suggest is to find a way or ways to distract yourself from checking/self testing. It's quite apparent you're doing so obsessively otherwise, how would you know your heart rate? Just as a comparison, and granted I'm not a sufferer, the last time I checked my heart rate or BP was over a month ago and I have real heart issues! I'm actually supposed to do it more per my doctor but ehhh.... :shrug: I feel Ok so.....
Your physical reaction to the scenarios you mentioned is anxiety, pure and simple and you know full well, anxiety increases heart rate. Keep in mind my campfire analogy. You've done well and stopped a five alarm fire but there's still a a lot of hot spots that will take time and work to put out. So if you have a monitor or are using a fitbit type device, ditch it. There's no medical reason you need to be checking anyway. And like I said, find some distractions to help you quell the impulse and urge.
Positive thoughts
I wish I could help more a Sarah, you’re doing SO well.
I don’t really have the same anxieties as you, but I used to find that the act of pausing and concentrating on something else helped. I think it’s very like mindfulness really. I used to suck on a polo, or take some Bach’s rescue remedy. Often those things would refocus my mind enough that I forgot the panic x
Aw Scass! You've done so much to help! You've always had such kind words and support for me and I'm so thankfully for that xx
I'm trying to move on with it, just sit and breath because sometimes you want to move and get away from the feeling- of course that's going to make it even worse! Thank you for the advice, I'll give it ago xx
The only thing I can suggest is to find a way or ways to distract yourself from checking/self testing. It's quite apparent you're doing so obsessively otherwise, how would you know your heart rate? Just as a comparison, and granted I'm not a sufferer, the last time I checked my heart rate or BP was over a month ago and I have real heart issues! I'm actually supposed to do it more per my doctor but ehhh.... :shrug: I feel Ok so.....
Your physical reaction to the scenarios you mentioned is anxiety, pure and simple and you know full well, anxiety increases heart rate. Keep in mind my campfire analogy. You've done well and stopped a five alarm fire but there's still a a lot of hot spots that will take time and work to put out. So if you have a monitor or are using a fitbit type device, ditch it. There's no medical reason you need to be checking anyway. And like I said, find some distractions to help you quell the impulse and urge.
Positive thoughts
I agree with the obsessively, like it was suggested to me to maybe by a monitor to help me cope to know its fine but I knew I would spend all day and night sitting there taking it over and over. I'm trained in taking pulse rates as part of my job (I work with older people in a care home, so we all have to know certain care details) , so I do it on myself- I'm going to try and sit on my hands. To stop myself from taking it so often! I know my blood pressure by going a pharmacy and having them check it as in the past it would have calmed me and I'd move on but it's a bit dragged out this time.
You're right about it being a reaction, it's like for example a few minutes ago I thought my chest and breathing was strange- that meant it was all I could think about until I manged to use some of my breathing to get myself out of it. It's like the more attention I pay to it, the more fuel it's adding to the fire!
Thank you again, for taking the time to reply and give advice.
It's like the more attention I pay to it, the more fuel it's adding to the fire!
That's exactly what it is. Again, the campfire analogy. You're doing better but there's a hot bed of anxiety coals still burning. Your attention is more wood ;)
Positive thoughts
That's exactly what it is. Again, the campfire analogy. You're doing better but there's a hot bed of anxiety coals still burning. Your attention is more wood ;)
Positive thoughts
You're right! Like my gp has given me xanna recently to try and help me from going into full panics. Tonight I could feel one coming on, so I took one now and I'm slightly uneasy as I'm not a fan on tables but it's all to help and grow!
The think the xanna did help abit, still kinda breathless but it seemed to be a okay reaction overall!
ankietyjoe
02-11-19, 09:03
FMP is right, all you can do is ignore it.
Your heart is doing what it's designed to do, and has been medically assessed as working properly.
The thing to work on isn't slowing your heart rate down (as you'd then be trying to get it to do something unnatural). The thing to do is work on your perception of 'a problem'. There is no problem there, it's your mental chatter telling you there is.
What helped me was exercise. Deliberately making my heart rate go up, getting used to that and then letting it go back down again. Eventually your brain just accepts that your heart rate goes up and down, like it did before you started obsessing over it.
FMP is right, all you can do is ignore it.
Your heart is doing what it's designed to do, and has been medically assessed as working properly.
The thing to work on isn't slowing your heart rate down (as you'd then be trying to get it to do something unnatural). The thing to do is work on your perception of 'a problem'. There is no problem there, it's your mental chatter telling you there is.
What helped me was exercise. Deliberately making my heart rate go up, getting used to that and then letting it go back down again. Eventually your brain just accepts that your heart rate goes up and down, like it did before you started obsessing over it.
You made some really good points here Joe!
I know it's something I really have to get in control (Well learn to live with and move on from) next week I'm going to Germany for a trail run of my new job. I need to get used to these feelings as I'll be alone there, in a new city. So I can't give into the fear and give up to head home.
I'll try to lightly push it again with exercise, it get it pumping again and used to that. Like my Doctor said before, I've been thinking about it so often and for so long- she was sure in that time if there was a issue it would have shown itself by now anyway!I'm doing better at trying to just roll with the feelings, if my heart goes up, it goes up and if it feels low that's it doing it's thing! Not always easy but doing my best to live and carry on with everything!
ankietyjoe
04-11-19, 16:21
When I became hyper focused on my heart rate I could tell you what it was without checking and was never more than 1-2bpm off. I could be sitting in the car with my misses and say "85", and I would check and I'd be either right or only 1-2 bpm off. It's a serious problem if you let it become one.
I have friends that would post their fitbit results on exercise runs/cycles/whatever that they had done and it would show averages over 100bpm and peaks of 160-170bpm, and the very idea of deliberately doing that would fill me with dread. I had no idea how they could push themselves like that. Yet...I would have done exactly the same thing for decades before I had anxiety.
It's just perception of an issue rather than an actual issue.
Good luck in your move to Germany. Being alone there is an ideal opportunity to really take up and practice meditation :)
When I became hyper focused on my heart rate I could tell you what it was without checking and was never more than 1-2bpm off. I could be sitting in the car with my misses and say "85", and I would check and I'd be either right or only 1-2 bpm off. It's a serious problem if you let it become one.
I have friends that would post their fitbit results on exercise runs/cycles/whatever that they had done and it would show averages over 100bpm and peaks of 160-170bpm, and the very idea of deliberately doing that would fill me with dread. I had no idea how they could push themselves like that. Yet...I would have done exactly the same thing for decades before I had anxiety.
It's just perception of an issue rather than an actual issue.
Good luck in your move to Germany. Being alone there is an ideal opportunity to really take up and practice meditation :)
Yeah like, when today I felt that well known feeling of my heart rate climbing and climbing. I just waved it off and continued what I was doing. Saying there was nothing wrong, it's gotten fast before and nothings ever happened. What has happened is I have reacted to it and this is when it would get bad.
I had a bad panic attack this morning, I woke up just in a attack. I sat up, planted my feet on the ground and started working on my breathing. About ten minutes later and I was able to get up and get ready for work. That was something I never thought I could do- just go to work after a bad panic attack but I did it! I feeling rather tried this evening- which I'm putting down to as to why I feel so heavy and racing heart. I haven't been sleeping very well at all recently and of course that's not going to help anything!
I'm happy to say I'm looking forward to going to Germany, not filled with dread and fear. I know these down moments will happen and I will be able to deal with them :)!
How's everyone!
So a update,
Still a little bit worried about the heart but not to much!
I've decided I need to drink more water as I think maybe being dehydrated is part of my issue?? Only one way to tell!
I've actually lost a few pounds in the last few days from not being able to eat alot- thinking maybe it's nerves from going next week! But I'm trying to eat at least one good meal a day even if I feel sick afterwards. That's my current issue, I'm tucked up on the couch- feeling like I want to get sick but things coming out!
Hoping it's all clear for next week! The last thing I want when traveling is a poorly stomach!
(Update: aload of acid came up when I got sick)
So, at nights I've been burping alot- like my chest fills up with so much gasp/pressure. It's like no matter how much the burps come out, it's never enough? It also feels like there's a lot of fluid or something building up at the back of my throat and it makes it hard to breath abit? I don't know how to describe it really
I tried using gavison for the acid but it's not really working for me personal.
Last night was the first time in a loooonnnnggg time I had jerks/woke up gasping which resulted in me getting like a hours sleep before a busy day of work
ankietyjoe
10-11-19, 10:48
Sounds like you have a touch of reflux/GERD. This can cause heart rate issues as well as your vagus nerve is irritated. I always have sleep issues if I have GERD too.
Sounds like you have a touch of reflux/GERD. This can cause heart rate issues as well as your vagus nerve is irritated. I always have sleep issues if I have GERD too.
Hey Joe! Thanks for the reply. I actually have been told I suffer with reflux in the past- it just never really showed up like this.
Okay so I'm being a little nervous right now, probably due to lack of sleep but my heart rate at rest is like 60 bpm yet when I'm up and working it's like well over 100. I'm getting a little bit of anixety build up over this. Which is probably silly. I had loads of heart tests done in 2018 and my gp always tells me my heart is fine. It's like, my anixety is looking for something to worry about
It's like, my anixety is looking for something to worry about
Exactly! And you're feeding it by taking your pulse. There's no need nor reason at all to be doing so! And documenting it along with reassurance seeking isn't helping either.
Positive thoughts
ankietyjoe
10-11-19, 17:56
Okay so I'm being a little nervous right now, probably due to lack of sleep but my heart rate at rest is like 60 bpm yet when I'm up and working it's like well over 100. I'm getting a little bit of anixety build up over this. Which is probably silly. I had loads of heart tests done in 2018 and my gp always tells me my heart is fine. It's like, my anixety is looking for something to worry about
It's not your anxiety that's looking for something to worry about as it's just a natural autonomic response. It's you that's looking for something to worry about based to skewed perceptions of normal bodily functions.
Took me a long time to realise that :doh:
@Fishmanpa and @Ankietyoe
Thank you both for your replys, I know I'm the biggest issue here and I really need to try and fix my thoughts patterns- plus like I said. If there was something wrong with my heart I probs wouldn't be freaking out on here. I've gone right from work to the airport- so going to be in German soon. Hoping all of these feelings are easy to settle in a different place! Not on the news
ankietyjoe
10-11-19, 23:44
@Fishmanpa and @Ankietyoe
Thank you both for your replys, I know I'm the biggest issue here and I really need to try and fix my thoughts patterns- plus like I said. If there was something wrong with my heart I probs wouldn't be freaking out on here. I've gone right from work to the airport- so going to be in German soon. Hoping all of these feelings are easy to settle in a different place! Not on the news
It's a realisation that every person that suffers with anxiety has to go through. You're not alone or unique in looking for a problem that doesn't exist.
I found the idea that I was creating the issue a massive relief, as it took something that I had assumed was out of my control, and put it firmly back in my lap.
Good luck with Germany. I'm sure there will be a tidal wave on anxiety on arrival, but ground yourself in the knowledge that the solution has travelled with you, and that we're still here as well! :)
Sooo, I'm settling okay in Germany- I've spent years learning the language and it's like it feels wroth all those hours of hard work right now. The job is better then I could have ever expected so far!
My boyfriend had already moved out here for his own job, so we're living together at the moment and it's wonderful.
Yet phyiscal I'm just exhausted. I've had a constant headache since I got here. I've needed to us my glasses alot then I normally would since everything see so foggy all the time- I only God my glasses a few months ago....and I'm not sure what's going on there but it helps when I wear my glasses so it's probably just strained!
My heart keep okay! A shock. It jumps up and down alot but I don't bother taking it anymore, it clearly wasn't helping anyway. I'm just aware of it but trying to get it out of my mind without it becoming every single thought I have.
I'm also going to be alone for the first time tommorow night, which I'm feeling nervous about. I've talk to my boyfriend about but I know I have to get used to it....just not looking forward to it and feel like there may be a panic attack happening.
I'm trying to go over my therapy methods of deep breathing and grounding, to remind nothing is going to happen. It's all my anixety and that can take a big toll on the body- I'm not moments away from the end at all.
It's a realisation that every person that suffers with anxiety has to go through. You're not alone or unique in looking for a problem that doesn't exist.
I found the idea that I was creating the issue a massive relief, as it took something that I had assumed was out of my control, and put it firmly back in my lap.
Good luck with Germany. I'm sure there will be a tidal wave on anxiety on arrival, but ground yourself in the knowledge that the solution has travelled with you, and that we're still here as well! :)
Thank you alot Joe :)
I'm suffering really badly with pain behind my left eye and all alone my head/body now. I don't to get alot of headaches and pain killers aren't helping...so not in the best mood
maxcjs0101
14-11-19, 00:16
Good to read that you are better now.
Congrats on the move to Germany and the pains will go away soon. Would trade that with you anytime compared to what im feeling now..
ankietyjoe
14-11-19, 15:48
I'm sure the pains will pass. I would imagine your body is reeling from the stress of the move. I moved about 2 miles about 9 months ago and I'm still feeling it lol.
Good to read that you are better now.
Congrats on the move to Germany and the pains will go away soon. Would trade that with you anytime compared to what im feeling now..
Thank you and I hope you feel better soon xxx
I'm sure the pains will pass. I would imagine your body is reeling from the stress of the move. I moved about 2 miles about 9 months ago and I'm still feeling it lol.
I guess I can count myself lucky, it's just bad pain behind one eye now. Just wish it would piss off as it's getting quite annoying. I also manged to go on a brisk walk on my lunch- which I know doesn't sound like alot but giving how strange I get about my heart rate and all that...it was alot for me lol.
And thank you for the reply Joe! Moving is never fun is it!
ankietyjoe
14-11-19, 18:44
At my worst I'd get triggered taking the bins out, so I get how much of a big deal going for a walk can be.
At my worst I'd get triggered taking the bins out, so I get how much of a big deal going for a walk can be.
Oh it's been a slow process, even standing up after sitting could set me off. It's taking awhile but I'm slowly trying to readjust as I know I move to quickly on trying to make myself get used to it I'll just crash out faster!
And I'm being reasonable about this head/eye pain. For as awful as it is, probs don't to stress and neck tension! Trying to use my coping methods the best I can
ankietyjoe
14-11-19, 19:12
Yeah pain is unbelievably common. Try not to sweat it too much, it'll pass.
Interesting point. I'm seeing an osteopath at the moment and he has suggested that muscle tension can easily cause random heart rate spikes because of the vagus nerve. Apparently our heart, vagus nerve and something else were all part of the same cell bundle as a foetus and they still react to each other as adults. I know for sure that if my muscles are tense now, I can stretch and my heart rate will spike 30-50bpm for about 20-30 seconds. It doesn't bother me any more, but it just goes to show what stress can do.
Yeah pain is unbelievably common. Try not to sweat it too much, it'll pass.
Interesting point. I'm seeing an osteopath at the moment and he has suggested that muscle tension can easily cause random heart rate spikes because of the vagus nerve. Apparently our heart, vagus nerve and something else were all part of the same cell bundle as a foetus and they still react to each other as adults. I know for sure that if my muscles are tense now, I can stretch and my heart rate will spike 30-50bpm for about 20-30 seconds. It doesn't bother me any more, but it just goes to show what stress can do.
That's actually a interesting thing your osteopath said! I'm really trying to reduce the stress in my life and just roll with things with more easy not jumping and kicking into fight mood everytime I have a strange feeling. I'm also lucky to have my boyfriend here who tries to understand and help me around from my panic attacks without helping to much either...if you get what I mean? Like he'll sit with me and remind me to do my breaths but he really tried to have me pull myself out of it. As I need to do this for me.
Just a thought.... perhaps you should give yourself a huge pat on the back for managing a life change that would cripple many sufferers and non-sufferers alike instead of giving a few normal physical niggles and functions any attention ;)
Positive thoughts
ankietyjoe
14-11-19, 23:13
That's actually a interesting thing your osteopath said! I'm really trying to reduce the stress in my life and just roll with things with more easy not jumping and kicking into fight mood everytime I have a strange feeling. I'm also lucky to have my boyfriend here who tries to understand and help me around from my panic attacks without helping to much either...if you get what I mean? Like he'll sit with me and remind me to do my breaths but he really tried to have me pull myself out of it. As I need to do this for me.
His reaction is ideal tbh. But yeah, it's that initial conscious reaction to strange feelings that make or break the following hour or two.
Anxiety is too fast to stop, it's milliseconds, but you are in complete control of the 10-15 seconds following the 'trigger' and that's where the adrenaline is squirted out in varying amounts based on your perception of danger.
Just a thought.... perhaps you should give yourself a huge pat on the back for managing a life change that would cripple many sufferers and non-sufferers alike instead of giving a few normal physical niggles and functions any attention ;)
Positive thoughts
Thanks Fishmanpa! I was nearly not going to do this- I'm hoping a change of place might help abit. Since I'm someone who mental holds onto events- like if i had a super bad panic attack somewhere everytime I went back there it's all I can think about. I really need to give it my all again!......and try to stop feeding that dragon to much x
His reaction is ideal tbh. But yeah, it's that initial conscious reaction to strange feelings that make or break the following hour or two.
Anxiety is too fast to stop, it's milliseconds, but you are in complete control of the 10-15 seconds following the 'trigger' and that's where the adrenaline is squirted out in varying amounts based on your perception of danger.
Thanks for the reply Joe! You've really given me some words of wisdom on this post and it means alot!
So we've gotten more settled here, I was doing really good! Until tonight when I was putting some dishes away before going to bed and u suddenly got this dizzy feeling while standing still. I nearly went crashing back into the floor- after I gotten over the shock of it. All I could think about was how I nearly smashed all of our new blows....which would have not been nice lol.
I tried to shake the feelings off, remember that sometimes our bodies just have moments. So I went to bed, yet no sleep came. My heart was racing still, everytime I was close to sleep a jerk/heart pounding/or felt like it was missing a beat would happen and I was sitting upright. This happened enough times that it woke up my boyfriend up, so rather then keep annoying him I've gotten up and currently trying to read some stuff before trying to sleep again. I'm trying to remind myself, well this is all unpleasant it's not going to be the end of me.
That while it can be scary, it's just that scary feelings that I'm not going to feed into. One bad night doesn't mean it's going to be bad forever again.
Stuipdly feeling a bit proud of myself today. Even tho I woke up feeling filled with anixety- so short of breath and heart pounding I still got up. I did things I normally wouldn't do while alone, like shower, up and down stairs to the washing machine. I'm sitting on the couch now, feeling exhausted and really out of breath- but I did it! I just didn't back out and wait for my boyfriend to get home!
You did brilliantly - congratulations!
ankietyjoe
18-11-19, 17:09
So we've gotten more settled here, I was doing really good! Until tonight when I was putting some dishes away before going to bed and u suddenly got this dizzy feeling while standing still. I nearly went crashing back into the floor- after I gotten over the shock of it. All I could think about was how I nearly smashed all of our new blows....which would have not been nice lol.
I tried to shake the feelings off, remember that sometimes our bodies just have moments. So I went to bed, yet no sleep came. My heart was racing still, everytime I was close to sleep a jerk/heart pounding/or felt like it was missing a beat would happen and I was sitting upright. This happened enough times that it woke up my boyfriend up, so rather then keep annoying him I've gotten up and currently trying to read some stuff before trying to sleep again. I'm trying to remind myself, well this is all unpleasant it's not going to be the end of me.
That while it can be scary, it's just that scary feelings that I'm not going to feed into. One bad night doesn't mean it's going to be bad forever again.
Stuipdly feeling a bit proud of myself today. Even tho I woke up feeling filled with anixety- so short of breath and heart pounding I still got up. I did things I normally wouldn't do while alone, like shower, up and down stairs to the washing machine. I'm sitting on the couch now, feeling exhausted and really out of breath- but I did it! I just didn't back out and wait for my boyfriend to get home!
This all sounds really familiar to me. I went through multiple occasions of just feeling 'off', or stuff just happening. It seemed like it was something new every week but that's just how it works.
You're doing the right thing by just getting on with things as much as you can in that moment.
Anxiety recovery is dictated by dealing with the bigger picture, not fretting over the details so much.
Thank you both so much for the replies x
I was doing okay most of yesterday- whole cleaning away some stuff today my heart rate jumped and I had to sit down to try and calm a little. I'm still feeling rather unwell and unsettled....but maybe it's a excuse not to do the cleaning anymore :roflmao:
I'm really struggling this morning, I'm very breathless and my heart was pounding when I woke up. I just feel bad- it's leading me with be filled with dread and doom thinking.
ankietyjoe
20-11-19, 09:07
All sounds normal!
Just remember it takes weeks/months to re-train your brain NOT to react in a negative way to perceptions about heart rate.
All sounds normal!
Just remember it takes weeks/months to re-train your brain NOT to react in a negative way to perceptions about heart rate.
Sorry for moaning so much Joe, I know it's going to take time- it's just alot to deal with. I went to work for a few hours this morning, I'm now at home sitting here feeling breathless and all kind of things- that I'm not going to list because it's the same old same old heart worries issues. I suppose it didn't help when the lady at front of desk told me I look like shit this morning lol.
I'm going back to Ireland next week to get a few things, I have a doctor appointment then to get my files to move over here. Im going to talk to her about other ways to help- as she's checked my heart so many times yet nothing has ever come from it....it's just anixety I have to remind myself
ankietyjoe
20-11-19, 12:38
You're not moaning. You're going through a process and reporting mental 'wins and losses'.
The breathing thing is really, really common and is caused by tight diaphragm muscles, and secondarily by subconscious hyperventilating. You think you can't breathe so try and breathe more..causing a CO2 imbalance in the blood. What I found really helps is to sit quietly and take control of your breathing, and only breathe through your nose (it makes a difference). Your brain will tell you that you're gasping for breath, but if you pay attention you're really not. If you can talk, you are not breathless..period. I was told this multiple times by Doctors.
And also remember that moving to another country is a massive, massive stress. For anybody.
You're not moaning. You're going through a process and reporting mental 'wins and losses'.
The breathing thing is really, really common and is caused by tight diaphragm muscles, and secondarily by subconscious hyperventilating. You think you can't breathe so try and breathe more..causing a CO2 imbalance in the blood. What I found really helps is to sit quietly and take control of your breathing, and only breathe through your nose (it makes a difference). Your brain will tell you that you're gasping for breath, but if you pay attention you're really not. If you can talk, you are not breathless..period. I was told this multiple times by Doctors.
And also remember that moving to another country is a massive, massive stress. For anybody.
Thank you again for the reply Joe- and that info..it's very useful. I find that when I'm sitting down I feel fine. It's when I stand up things tend to go down hill. My legs go weak and heavy, I find it harder to breath and- well all the other stuff. It makes me scared to move, it's like I need to take a shower and I can't get myself to stand up again right now as I'm feeling dread and I know I'll feel that way.
ankietyjoe
20-11-19, 13:46
I've been in a feedback loop like that before. Unless I was lying prone, my heart was doing something wrong....or so I thought.
It's all part of the process unfortunately. Everything is connected to everything else. Funnily enough I'm seeing an Osteopath right now because I have a terrible back from sitting badly with work and I was chatting with him about the more holistic view of health and his opinion concurs with my own. This was a conversation led by him, not the confirmation bias you get with a mystic lol!
Fundamentally your mind and body are linked (we know this), but on a more fundamental level than most people choose to believe. If you feel stressed, your body WILL provide you with symptoms, and vice versa.
Part of the recovery process is going to have the shower anyway, even though it's an uncomfortable experience. Tell yourself you'll have a quick shower, and that you may well experience some uncomfortable sensations when you're in there. Sit down afterwards and do some slow breathing and tell yourself that you just did a perfectly normal thing that wasn't dangerous, and everything you're feeling is a symptom of anxiety. It's this kind of situation you need to repeat hundreds (or even thousands) of times to make new connections in the brain that don't fire every time you experience a sensation.
I've been in a feedback loop like that before. Unless I was lying prone, my heart was doing something wrong....or so I thought.
It's all part of the process unfortunately. Everything is connected to everything else. Funnily enough I'm seeing an Osteopath right now because I have a terrible back from sitting badly with work and I was chatting with him about the more holistic view of health and his opinion concurs with my own. This was a conversation led by him, not the confirmation bias you get with a mystic lol!
Fundamentally your mind and body are linked (we know this), but on a more fundamental level than most people choose to believe. If you feel stressed, your body WILL provide you with symptoms, and vice versa.
Part of the recovery process is going to have the shower anyway, even though it's an uncomfortable experience. Tell yourself you'll have a quick shower, and that you may well experience some uncomfortable sensations when you're in there. Sit down afterwards and do some slow breathing and tell yourself that you just did a perfectly normal thing that wasn't dangerous, and everything you're feeling is a symptom of anxiety. It's this kind of situation you need to repeat hundreds (or even thousands) of times to make new connections in the brain that don't fire every time you experience a sensation.
Thank you so much for all of this Joe, it means so much to me. I manged to take the shower yesterday- it was awful but I manged to do it.
Tonight's been the first night I've been alone, I have another four hours to to alone- it feels awful. I feel awful, I feel so unwell and all the stuff I've talked about before. It's upsetting because I don't want to lean on other so much but I can't being alone right now without feeling so unwell.
ankietyjoe
21-11-19, 17:25
I used to use alone times to really get into meditation. It's the perfect opportunity to get into the habit of practicing meditation.
It's the single most powerful tool I used for recovery.
Very sorry for not replying sooner Joe- I've had been rather unwell and haven't been looking at my phone alot. I'll defo try the meditation, I used to do it alot but I found it hard as my mind was always on.
I'm still really struggling with the whole feeling like I can't breath-but I thought about something you said about being truly breathless so any time I feel it come on. I try to sing to myself a little to show myself I can talk still lol.
I'm just feeling super out of it, like my body isn't my own. Like even typing right now my body feels discounted from it's self or when I'm eating I feel like everything goes numb.
I'm trying to remind myself no matter how bad I feel, I've come so far still.
Things have not been great today, only been in work three hours and I've vomited twice- I know it's from anixety and reflux. The acid is probably in return making my heart rate higher, which in return is making me more panic- which etc etc etc. I've had some some really bad dizzy spells also. I just feel really out of my body and I can't go home because we're already under staffed and like it's just alot.
Maybe you have a bug?
I’m sorry you feel so rubbish but at least you’re there which is great.
With regards to the breathlessness, I was once given great advice. Instead of taking a deep breath all the time try gulping first and then you should be able to take a more normal breath. It really helps me when I can sense panic.
Have you taken anything for the reflux? I find gaviscon is brilliant for mine.
ankietyjoe
25-11-19, 10:00
I can't remember if I've said it before, but reflux can really make you feel breathless. You're not actually short of oxygen, it just feels like you are.
My experience with reflux is that because of the vagus nerve and the fact that your digestion is probably compromised too, it can make you feel like crap (mind/stomach connection).
I used apple cider vinegar to control my reflux combined with watching what I eat, and when I eat it.
Thank you both so much for the replies, please know I'm taking all you say on board. I know I'm alot on here at times. You both make very interesting points and give great advice.
Today I was suffering really badly with headache issues- especially behind my eyes. I feel super weak, my legs keep shacking and I stand alot in my work. I also just feel weak and just spaced out all the time. I went to a walk in clinic because I don't have a doctor here yet, they were really short and I could bearly say anything before he told me I had a sinus infection- he gave me tablets and nose spray. I've taken them all and I just feel really sick and sorry for myself now. I just feel so sick, my heart is still a issue. Just pounding and the shortness of breath- I've had this heart worries for months so I would be long gone by now if it was serious. I know anixety can have a big issues on the body, I'm just..... overwhelmed and really missing Ireland right now lol.
Chronicling your symptoms and waiting on responses is reassurance seeking behavior. You're obviously suffering from the results of anxiety symptoms, which is to be expected based on the life changing events as of late, documenting them publicly is just feeding the dragon.
Positive thoughts
ankietyjoe
26-11-19, 09:10
Chronicling your symptoms and waiting on responses is reassurance seeking behavior. You're obviously suffering from the results of anxiety symptoms, which is to be expected based on the life changing events as of late, documenting them publicly is just feeding the dragon.
Positive thoughts
I know you mean well, but your one dimensional mantra doesn't fit all cases. Sarah has displayed effort to change and bravery in the move. She is experiencing symptoms of both an infection and of anxiety. There's a time and place for an observation about reassurance seeking, and this is not it. She is right at the start of a life changing event and is feeling like crap whilst being lonely. This is very much the time and place for a bit of reassurance. Reassurance isn't always a negative thing.
If we were still here in 3 months having exactly the same conversation, then sure. But not now.
Sarah, infections will also ramp up your heart rate. Mine usually shoots up about 15-20bpm if I'm ill. It'll pass!
I'm not taking away from the amazing accomplishments which have been made over the last year and I've said as much previously. I've been following the threads on this subject for some time and the effort is obvious. Just pointing out the pattern that's like an anchor holding fast and preventing more forward progress. That said, point taken.
Positive thoughts
I'm not taking away from the amazing accomplishments which have been made over the last year and I've said as much previously. I've been following the threads on this subject for some time and the effort is obvious. Just pointing out the pattern that's like an anchor holding fast and preventing more forward progress. That said, point taken.
Positive thoughts
I'm sorry Fishmanpa- You know I always take your words to heart (I mean that in a good way- sorry if I'm phrasing things badly I've been speaking German all day and sometimes I get a bit tongue twisted lol) I understand and respect what you're saying, I know it isn't ideal. I guess I'm very much alone here, yeah I have my boyfriend and that's kinda it? I don't have friends here (yet) and my support is at home. I worry that if I talk to much to them about how I'm feeling, they want me to give up and come back- seeing as I was a in inpatient due to my MH during the summer time during my last episode (I don't think I've really really spoken about here?) So I guess I moan about alot of things here because I need to say it somewhere I guess. I'm hoping the more comfortable I get here, the less I'll been to say something on here or be more upbeat.
I know you mean well, but your one dimensional mantra doesn't fit all cases. Sarah has displayed effort to change and bravery in the move. She is experiencing symptoms of both an infection and of anxiety. There's a time and place for an observation about reassurance seeking, and this is not it. She is right at the start of a life changing event and is feeling like crap whilst being lonely. This is very much the time and place for a bit of reassurance. Reassurance isn't always a negative thing.
If we were still here in 3 months having exactly the same conversation, then sure. But not now.
Sarah, infections will also ramp up your heart rate. Mine usually shoots up about 15-20bpm if I'm ill. It'll pass!
Hi Joe- I guess that is something I'm really struggling with here because like I said- all I have is my boyfriend and I don't want to put everything on him either. That isn't fair, of course I do tell him some of it and he tries his best. I'm lucky to have him but I also don't want our whole convo just to be about my struggles with my MH either? We work very different hours and I don't want to take up all the space. I guess I'm really struggling being lonely here, I've always had a big friendship group and of course I still have my friends at home....but I've never really been alone like this. So I am, struggling with like you said feeling like crap and being lonely- not to be that person but I can't run to my Mam for a hug lol.
Of course I am glad I came, it's hard it's very hard- but I needed to do something.
Physical it's all still shit like it was yesterday, I'm trying to tell myself that these things take time. That also with my MH being so low it's all feeding into the other. I'm trying to tell myself that if there was something wrong with my heart- I wouldn't be here talking about it. Like to be fair my heart is mainly at a lower resting rate of 60's the last few times I checked (Which isn't as much any more, with checking things the way that always worked with me was still allowing myself to do it but less and less each day until it just stops- maybe not the best way but it worked with me when I used to check my neck for lumps!). I guess what I find hardest about physical unwell, it's just hard to move around without feeling unwell or like I'm about to drop. It makes me feel trapped to be still and not move.
Sorry for all the rant lol but thank you so much Joe for replying again xx :hugs:
Today's been rough, I woke up this morning just feeling awful and full of dread. My heart was all strange like normal so just didn't some breathing and tried to not think about it. When I got out of bed, my legs felt super heavy but I manged to walk a few steps before they went to jelly and gave out. My boyfriend made me call into work sick, which I feel horrible about as I started like a week ago. I did bang my lower back quite bad when I fell- and I have life long back issues so I think my boyfriend was most worried about that. I've just sat on the couch, in total fear. My body feels so heavy, I keep getting these strange jolts - I just like I said before feel so spaced out and intense.
Today's been rough, I woke up this morning just feeling awful and full of dread. My heart was all strange like normal so just didn't some breathing and tried to not think about it. When I got out of bed, my legs felt super heavy but I manged to walk a few steps before they went to jelly and gave out. My boyfriend made me call into work sick, which I feel horrible about as I started like a week ago. I did bang my lower back quite bad when I fell- and I have life long back issues so I think my boyfriend was most worried about that. I've just sat on the couch, in total fear. My body feels so heavy, I keep getting these strange jolts - I just like I said before feel so spaced out and intense.
You are having a terrible time, Sarah, and wanted to stop by to wish you well.
It is indeed a long and rocky road to recovery but you have made progress despite it probably not feeling so at times like this.
Keep plodding along ;)
You are having a terrible time, Sarah, and wanted to stop by to wish you well.
It is indeed a long and rocky road to recovery but you have made progress despite it probably not feeling so at times like this.
Keep plodding along ;)
Hi Kk77- thank you so much for taking the time to reply. I know there's alot of ups and downs there lol. I mean for all the low points- I try to remind myself that I still manged to get here.
While I might still terrible and on the edge of God knows what- I'm still kicking! That no matter how phycial or mentally bad I feel I've dealt with it before and I can get around it
Plus I did get a laugh today when I called my manger to explain why I couldn't come in. I wasn't in a great state of mind and I didn't really translate things well between us and there was quite a funny misunderstanding. I was trying to explain to him when he just asked out of interest how I had hurt my back in the past (I was tossed off a horse and caused life last pain issues and nerve damage ) but he understood it as I used to like pick up and throw horses around and he was like no where your back is like that lol.
Feeling terrible and fearing the worst- like normal. I'm doing my best to do other things to not dwell in feelings but it feels hard for me to move around and it's like things knocking into the other.
But, I did make a move on finding a therapist here. I'm still in the care of my own therapist back home but she thinks it's good to have care here also.
But, I did make a move on finding a therapist here. I'm still in the care of my own therapist back home but she thinks it's good to have care here also.
That's what I'm talking about! That's a huge positive despite feeling like shite and it's a battle won against the dragon. The way it was written too. Even if you're having a rough day, find a positive to post about. Doing so helps to remind you that you are making steps forward and shows you that you can continue to do so in spite of bumps in the road. Why not find a positive to post about every day? Emphasize the positives, no matter how small the step and quell the negative :D
"Life is 10% what happens to us, 90% how we handle it." - Charles Swindoll (It may be one way but at least its up!)
Positive thoughts
That's what I'm talking about! That's a huge positive despite feeling like shite and it's a battle won against the dragon. The way it was written too. Even if you're having a rough day, find a positive to post about. Doing so helps to remind you that you are making steps forward and shows you that you can continue to do so in spite of bumps in the road. Why not find a positive to post about every day? Emphasize the positives, no matter how small the step and quell the negative :D
"Life is 10% what happens to us, 90% how we handle it." - Charles Swindoll (It may be one way but at least its up!)
Positive thoughts
Hi Fishanpa- I guess because it's something I've never really spoken about here really is that fact I have bipolar (type 1- which is why something I have slightly touched on here is my cause of my psychosis episodes- I don't really understand it all myself at times if I'm being honest. ) I also have anxiety, it's alot going on. So I guess being alone here has really set me, since I'm so used to having so much support. So- I'm trying to get myself more support. My therapist called me today, I felt bit better after talking with her.
It's like I've had so many bad days (I'm not trying to say poor me, I know so so so many people have worse times and I'm quite lucky in alot of ways.) yet things can be quite hard. I do agree with the positive thoughts- like even tho like I said I feel horrid physical (not even going to say how rn because same old same old). Yet I'm also trying to remind myself that I did something today, I'm trying to get more help and support. I also manged to go outside for a small walk around- which doesn't seem like a lot but with how I physical feel and the panic that comes with it- it's a little step the right way for me!
And thank you again, for your reply Fishmanpa- and I love that quote. My therapist uses it alot!
And thank you again, for your reply Fishmanpa- and I love that quote. My therapist uses it alot!
When I was struggling with life, I read a lot of self help books. Charles Swindoll was one of the authors I read and he's written some great books on religious history and interpretation that I admire. There's a good reason your therapist quotes him ;)
I want to bring attention to what I see from an outside perspective something your post. You wrote.... "I also manged to go outside for a small walk around- which doesn't seem like a lot but with how I physical feel and the panic that comes with it- it's a little step the right way for me!"
There are people here who are still sticking their fingers up their bums and you've moved to another country! To me, from an outside perspective, based on your experience, that IS a lot and should be acknowledged, celebrated and emphasized.
Positive thoughts
ankietyjoe
28-11-19, 12:38
You also need to keep telling yourself just how much worse you can feel mentally when you're ill physically. Your body is in overdrive trying to beat an infection, so you need to give yourself time to let that pass too.
Moving is also a massive step, let alone to a different country with a different job. It took me three months to calm down after I moved 2 miles down the road lol.
When I was struggling with life, I read a lot of self help books. Charles Swindoll was one of the authors I read and he's written some great books on religious history and interpretation that I admire. There's a good reason your therapist quotes him ;)
I want to bring attention to what I see from an outside perspective something your post. You wrote.... "I also manged to go outside for a small walk around- which doesn't seem like a lot but with how I physical feel and the panic that comes with it- it's a little step the right way for me!"
There are people here who are still sticking their fingers up their bums and you've moved to another country! To me, from an outside perspective, based on your experience, that IS a lot and should be acknowledged, celebrated and emphasized.
Positive thoughts
Thank you Fishmanpa!
I guess I'm trying to do /one/ positive thing a day, my therapist used to say I tried to pick up everything at once and run with it. She said how could when someone who was just learning to walk again, pick up everything and carry it at once- that's heading for disaster. So I trying to do one little extra thing a day. Like today, I took a shower when I was alone in the house (this sounds silly but the fears comes from when I was ill and I didn't have alot of strength and I used to fall alot. I was left on the floor of the shower a few times so it's a lingering fear.) I also went outside for walk, alone. I pushed myself to go a little further today. So even for how awful I felt physical (no need to list that) and mentally today, I still manged to walk that extra few minutes!
I was joking with everyone about moving country, saying I didn't spend the better part of nine years learning German to not use it! Lol
You also need to keep telling yourself just how much worse you can feel mentally when you're ill physically. Your body is in overdrive trying to beat an infection, so you need to give yourself time to let that pass too.
Moving is also a massive step, let alone to a different country with a different job. It took me three months to calm down after I moved 2 miles down the road lol.
Thank you Joe- and I just want to say as extra here how much it means to me. How time and time again you've reply to me here during this. It truly means alot.
Like I said already, I'm still not feeling very good physical and there is alot of panic at times- but hey! I'm still kicking and I've felt awful and it's the end (doom thinking) over and over so many times during the years. I just need to give my body time to hear, that it's all a process.
And I remeneber when I moved from one student house to another (just across the road) I was probs more unsettled and exhausted from that then this move lol
Thank you Fishmanpa!
I guess I'm trying to do /one/ positive thing a day, my therapist used to say I tried to pick up everything at once and run with it. She said how could when someone who was just learning to walk again, pick up everything and carry it at once- that's heading for disaster. So I trying to do one little extra thing a day. Like today, I took a shower when I was alone in the house (this sounds silly but the fears comes from when I was ill and I didn't have alot of strength and I used to fall alot. I was left on the floor of the shower a few times so it's a lingering fear.) I also went outside for walk, alone. I pushed myself to go a little further today. So even for how awful I felt physical (no need to list that) and mentally today, I still manged to walk that extra few minutes!
I was joking with everyone about moving country, saying I didn't spend the better part of nine years learning German to not use it! Lol
There you go! :yesyes: This is what I'm talking about! Talk about the positives! :D Doing so helps keep you in a better frame of mind.
Positive thoughts
So today was a strange one- the biggest issue I have is feeling like my body isn't my own? Like there some type of disconnect between how my body moves and how my mind works? Ah well- I manged to walk most of the way to and from work today. I also went shopping by myself, it's been a hard day for that and lots of other reasons but I've manged to get things done...a lil bit.
Also I read back in my dairy today (it's something my therapist and me work on and talk about) I've been having heart worries for years, it's been very on/off. I started having this lot of fear like.....three months ago..? I'm still posting here, so it's not like it's anything to bad. Going to work that into my thought process the best I can
So today was a strange one- the biggest issue I have is feeling like my body isn't my own? Like there some type of disconnect between how my body moves and how my mind works? Ah well- I manged to walk most of the way to and from work today. I also went shopping by myself, it's been a hard day for that and lots of other reasons but I've manged to get things done...a lil bit.
Also I read back in my dairy today (it's something my therapist and me work on and talk about) I've been having heart worries for years, it's been very on/off. I started having this lot of fear like.....three months ago..? I'm still posting here, so it's not like it's anything to bad. Going to work that into my thought process the best I can
That first bit is depersonalization (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/articles/symptoms#Depersonalization_Derealization_Feeling_o f_unreality), plain and simple. Everyone experiences it from time to time, especially when under a lot of stress. Happened to me a lot when my wife was ill. Your mind is just elsewhere no matter how hard you try to focus on the here and now. Anxiety sufferers seem to hyper focus on the physical sensation and as dragon often does, pours on the flames when he sees an opening.
I think that's a really good strategy with your diary. It helps you identify the patterns and possible triggers that cause your fear and anxiety to spike. Also, seeing the repetitive pattern can help you rationalize better when you see in writing something like that. Because when you think about it, years of heart worries and fears and here you are with no medical evidence. Physical symptoms, absolutely, but not from heart issues...
Keep up the good work!
Positive thoughts
Oh my gosh Fishmanpa! Depersonalization fits the feelings perfectly! I feel like I've touched on that with my therapist before but to be honest sometimes there's so much to take in, I can't take it all in? It's not a feel I've struggled with in a long time. I still feel that way-- but knowing what is it and putting a name to it makes it feel more normal and it will fade soon.
Yeah! I agree with the dairy being a good idea, it's also helping with non HA feelings / thought patterns and it's interesting to see how certain ones tend to show up at certain times of year! Like I tend to loss touch with myself a bit more in the winter months, so I'm trying to be more mindful of my feelings and thoughts (without it beocming everything) as I have to be careful to watch out for epsoide when I'm in a down place.
Like to be honest, all I'm still getting phycial issues. I don't noitce like the pounding heart as much? Like yeah maybe at work or certain times but it's not a constant anymore (hoping I'm not speaking to soon) and I'm feeling slightly more comfortable moving around by myself and not feeling like I'm about to fall! It's slow but I'm feeling like I'm moving forward tiny bits. Like I do keep reminding myself that heart worries have come and go- doctor never worried about it and it's come up so often....yet I'm still kicking!
I'm trying to do a little more everyday, I remind myself every morning I've come around from it before- and no matter how awful I feel mentally or physically I can and will do it again!
ankietyjoe
02-12-19, 09:42
What I'm seeing here is an overall reaction to stress, manifesting as multiple symptoms of anxiety.
What would be a good idea for you is to do some research into anxiety, and what it can do. Specifically the symptoms it can conjure up. This isn't the same an Googling, rather pre-emptive awareness.
I did this a lot, and it helped in my recovery. It meant that next time something unexpected happened, it wasn't really unexpected. It really does diminish the 'omg today THIS happened' reaction you often get with people who suffer with anxiety.
I feel like I might be on a little bit of a up? Yesterday we got on a train to the Netherlands to go and see my boyfriend family. I was dreading it, you know the fears if getting sick/fainting/plus the anixety of dying. The same old same old but I did pretty well! I didn't cry or anything (which was expecting to be honest, it's a five hour train trip and I thought I'd pull out or want off at the first station)
Thinking I might go back to a walk in doctor when I return tho, just because the sinus issues is still there and rather annoying!
But I haven't been reaching to take my heart rate at all or anything! Like I still have the fears but not as much in the grips? ....just this isn't speaking to soon lol x
What I'm seeing here is an overall reaction to stress, manifesting as multiple symptoms of anxiety.
What would be a good idea for you is to do some research into anxiety, and what it can do. Specifically the symptoms it can conjure up. This isn't the same an Googling, rather pre-emptive awareness.
I did this a lot, and it helped in my recovery. It meant that next time something unexpected happened, it wasn't really unexpected. It really does diminish the 'omg today THIS happened' reaction you often get with people who suffer with anxiety.
Thank you Joe! I'll defo look into that once I'm home again, like I've said before thank you so much for taking the time to reply to over and over again x
ankietyjoe
05-12-19, 10:16
I feel like I might be on a little bit of a up? Yesterday we got on a train to the Netherlands to go and see my boyfriend family. I was dreading it, you know the fears if getting sick/fainting/plus the anixety of dying. The same old same old but I did pretty well! I didn't cry or anything (which was expecting to be honest, it's a five hour train trip and I thought I'd pull out or want off at the first station)
Thinking I might go back to a walk in doctor when I return tho, just because the sinus issues is still there and rather annoying!
But I haven't been reaching to take my heart rate at all or anything! Like I still have the fears but not as much in the grips? ....just this isn't speaking to soon lol x
When you deal with anxiety the way you have been dealing with it, your subconscious eventually learns what's normal and stops sending you the panic signals. So for example you'll be sitting on the train and have a faint signal to observe and check your heart rate, but it's now a bit half-hearted(sic), and easily ignored.
Also, recovering from the infection will have a massive effect on your ability to cope with anxiety. Even now, if I get ill my anxiety hovers around in the background because your entire central nervous system is on alert. It never goes anywhere for me any more, but I can still sense it there, like a battle hardened Jedi :ninja:
When you deal with anxiety the way you have been dealing with it, your subconscious eventually learns what's normal and stops sending you the panic signals. So for example you'll be sitting on the train and have a faint signal to observe and check your heart rate, but it's now a bit half-hearted(sic), and easily ignored.
Also, recovering from the infection will have a massive effect on your ability to cope with anxiety. Even now, if I get ill my anxiety hovers around in the background because your entire central nervous system is on alert. It never goes anywhere for me any more, but I can still sense it there, like a battle hardened Jedi :ninja:
Yeah I think I'm learning more about cause and effect when it comes to my anixety and how it links to my body. Like if I stand up there's a chance it's gonna jump up by a few beats or if I start walking faster or moving faster it's going to get higher. It's about just learning to live with that! Like tonight I went with my boyfriend and his family to a Christmas market- which I was dreading. All the people, the lights- just felt like a bad thing waiting to happen. Yet I manged to stick my ground, I felt uncomfortable loads and stuff but I stuck it out and managed to enjoy myself somewhat! I'm now back and feeling a little worst for wear but I manged it! Another little step.
Oh, hopefully that's the last Jedi you'll have to face! I suppose if Rey can find Luke...it can always lurk in the background!
Like tonight I went with my boyfriend and his family to a Christmas market- which I was dreading. All the people, the lights- just felt like a bad thing waiting to happen. Yet I manged to stick my ground, I felt uncomfortable loads and stuff but I stuck it out and managed to enjoy myself somewhat!
There you go! That's more than a little step IMO....AND... you're getting to see and experience something quite wonderful and unique. My son works for the airlines and travels the world. Last Christmas he went to Germany and Austria for Christmas and visited the Christmas street markets. The pictures were amazing and he had an awesome time. He then went to the UK and Ireland for New Years.
Keep up the good work!
Positive thoughts
ankietyjoe
06-12-19, 10:09
Yeah I think I'm learning more about cause and effect when it comes to my anixety and how it links to my body. Like if I stand up there's a chance it's gonna jump up by a few beats or if I start walking faster or moving faster it's going to get higher.
This is an important observation.
Something I found that I had to do was make this happen for several months. I would go out for walks and just observe what my heart was doing, re-learning that cause and effect. The odd paradox was that the more I observed my heart reacting to activity, the less I noticed it. I eventually got to the point where I was back in the gym on the treadmill and then doing 30-45 minutes of moderately heavy weight training. My heart rate would get up to close to 150bpm during heavier sets and it was fine. Even less bothersome when I did it at home, so you can get used to it again.
You're definitely on the right track, but don't feel like you have to recover in a week just because you've seen behind the curtain. There are hundreds of conscious and subconscious panic reactions ingrained in your thought patterns that need to be slowly unlearned, so when they do occur just bring yourself back to the moment and remind yourself you're still on the journey.
There you go! That's more than a little step IMO....AND... you're getting to see and experience something quite wonderful and unique. My son works for the airlines and travels the world. Last Christmas he went to Germany and Austria for Christmas and visited the Christmas street markets. The pictures were amazing and he had an awesome time. He then went to the UK and Ireland for New Years.
Keep up the good work!
Positive thoughts
It's nice to see he visited my new home and my old home country! (Ireland is truly dear to me.....not that I'm picking favorites...:roflmao:) I hope he had a lovely time on his travels here during the Christmas times! I was over in the states over year for Christmas season and it is rather different to home! I can still remember buying popcorn somewhere and then offering me...actually melted butter to out on top. My sixteen years old mind, couldn't believe what I was seeing!
We went home today, I had one little wobble but I did it! I'm a little under the weather- so just gonna dry alot of water and try to rest up before I have to go back to work on Sunday! I have to wear a facial mask as part of my work...and squeezing into it- wouldn't not recommend! :foot: Once again, thank you for the reply x
This is an important observation.
Something I found that I had to do was make this happen for several months. I would go out for walks and just observe what my heart was doing, re-learning that cause and effect. The odd paradox was that the more I observed my heart reacting to activity, the less I noticed it. I eventually got to the point where I was back in the gym on the treadmill and then doing 30-45 minutes of moderately heavy weight training. My heart rate would get up to close to 150bpm during heavier sets and it was fine. Even less bothersome when I did it at home, so you can get used to it again.
You're definitely on the right track, but don't feel like you have to recover in a week just because you've seen behind the curtain. There are hundreds of conscious and subconscious panic reactions ingrained in your thought patterns that need to be slowly unlearned, so when they do occur just bring yourself back to the moment and remind yourself you're still on the journey.
Like I find before everytime I would stand up/move around I would have to take my pulse. Of course it would be high and I would freak- it was a circle of doom! Now I don't allow myself to take my pulse. Currently I only allow myself to do it twice in a day (if needs be) that's when I get up in the morning and just when I'm going to bed. I'm hoping eventually I won't need to do it at all and I'll just know all is fine! But comapred to how I used to take it 100's times of a day (wish I was joking) it's really being toned down.
Like I've returned home with a nasty headcold and normally even little sickness like this would set everything off. Since feeling so tried/rundown would make me start to question my body all over again! but I picked up some meds and hope with rest, lots of water and maybe a alot of tissues. I'll be better in no time...but I guess it suits this time of year since I'm going to look like Rudolph by the end of this :eek::roflmao:
Thank you once again for your reply Joe x I defo have to remind myself that it's better to take little steps and make food progress then trying to rush everything and expect to much to quickly x
Like last night was rough, I had a massive panic attack. Like I had to sit with my head between my legs and work on breathing for a good 30 mintues as I couldn't come down from it- I think apart of it has been because I've been so sick since I got back but I'm trying to remind myself of cause and effect.
Like my chest hurts so badly because I'm coughing up up the worst looking thing you've ever seen, my nose/head is in pain but there's also a lot of nasty stuff coming down there. Like I know I just a bad dose of some type of head cold/virus. Plus I feel dead- again there's alot of stuff up there.I haven't been sleeping well- because it's not been comfortable laying down so that's cause this exhausted feeling and feeling weak. Like it's all just part of having a cold of some type doesn't mean it's something horrible. There's a cause and effect for all of this.
Yet I still manged to get some sleep, I had to go to work today to sign off on projects and we wear med masks as part of your uniform (I work in lab) so not that worried about passing things on as it's mainly paper work and I'll be alone but I'll try to get it done as quickly as possible. As I have tomorrow off and my therapist back in Ireland is calling me tomorrow- and I might be able to set up a therapist here soon also! Just waiting for a call back so fingers crossed!
So, the last weeks was alot of ups and downs. I've got another type of head-cold- so there's really no end to it during this time of year! Today been the worse, my ear been ringing alot and I can't walk around with feeling like I'm gonna faint. My heart rate has only really been bothering me again today, it's been up around 120-ish because I can feel it at times but it's not like the worse it's been! I'm going to take another nap and try to rest up for tomorrow! I have a few more packets of limsip to take- very thankful I brought them over! My Mam was right about me needing them :roflmao:
Some good news this week- I've got a grant with my work! It means I can do so, so much more! I wasn't expecting it at all! It was such a lovely and surprising moment! I also booked my flights back to Ireland for Christmas....a good enough deal if I say so myself! Flights can be maaadd pricey this time of year. Even for all the worry about the heart rate today- on Wednesday I went for a jog. A full five minutes, I didn't go fast or far but I did it! I slowly built my way up and up to it. Once I'm more rested up, I'm planning to try and move more and more! I'm thinking of swimming again, I used to be such a water baby!
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