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View Full Version : Enlarged Lymph Nodes for a Year! Lymphoma Fears



unwellandworried
02-11-19, 04:41
Hello,

I really hope someone reads all this as I currently have crippling anxiety over my lymph nodes right now and am in desperate need of a piece of mind.

For some context, In August 2018 I went to the hospital for a different medical reason (abdominal cramps) and got a blood test taken that revealed slightly elevated white blood cells (looking back on it I'm worried that it may have been an early sign of lymphoma). In September of 2018 I was foolishly checking my neck for whatever reason and found an enlarged-(It's about the size of a small grape)-lymph node under my jaw on my right. This node in particular has never shrunk nor grew and is still here in the present, and is soft and movable when pushing on it, however when I prod at it, it becomes hard and barely movable for a short while then goes back to normal until I spiral again and check it over and over again. I went to the doctor for that in September 2018 which provoked no worry from the doctor, this should have been enough to make me feel better, but as 2018 went on I stayed anxious and check and prod at it every single day, even until now.

This year, in February I noticed another lymph node when I touch the side of my neck on the left, which seems to be swollen and feels about the same size as the other lymph node, it's movable but not really soft nor hard. Of course, I continuously touch it to this day (November) to check if it grows, but it never does, but it never shrinks either.

My nodes don't hurt, but they're scaring me to death and I fear that I really do have lymphoma, I do have a third lymph node in another part of my neck but it has the same feeling and size as a buckshot pellet, I don't remember when this showed up but I have had it for months probably and remains the same.

These nodes have been with me for about a year and they haven't gone away, I'm glad they haven't grown, at least I don't think they have, but I do check them every single day to see if they have grown and don't notice anything. I'm worried this may be a low grade lymphoma that's slowly invading my body... I have heard of shotty lymph nodes by constantly prodding at them like I have, but I'm still absolutely mortified over it being lymphoma... :unsure: I will have to go to the doctor again as I know I've been pushing it aside, I'm just scared that something bad is wrong with me and I'll be gone. :weep:

NotDeadYet
02-11-19, 06:10
Unwellandworried,

I'm so sorry to hear that this worry has been play in your life for over a year. Lymph node and lymphoma anxiety can be absolutely debilitating and life-altering. There are a few things in your own post that you can use as logic to ground yourself. First and foremost the shear fact that the nodes have not grown in a year is your number one indication that they are normal. Even in a low-grade lymphoma, the nodes noticeably grow each quarter of the year. Second, your doctor was not worried. You should use that knowledge and fact to challenge your thinking each time your worry arises.

Please take my advice as one who poked and prodded at a swollen lymph node every single day for 2 years: stop touching your lymph nodes. If they haven't grown in a year they surely will not have grown over night. You are going to damage them and cause them to become shotty.

Best Wishes

unwellandworried
02-11-19, 07:27
Thanks so much for the reply, I will definitely take logic into my thought process on the fears and hopefully all goes well! I am so grateful for your input and experience as I needed a better perspective and not letting anxiety control everything I do. :blush:

I'm glad to hear that there is hope and I'm happy that you were able to break the cycle after so long! Certainly will have to catch myself when I find myself poking. :)

herbie73
02-11-19, 09:40
Hi there, I have quite a few of these nodes, that sound exactly like yours, mine have been there for years so must be normal, if you poke them they will swell, try to leave them alone, easier said than done, they sound completely normal to me xxx

Jase.
02-11-19, 18:44
Do you have any symptoms such as night sweats? Do you bruise easily? Have you lost weight for no reason?

unwellandworried
02-11-19, 21:08
Hi there, I have quite a few of these nodes, that sound exactly like yours, mine have been there for years so must be normal, if you poke them they will swell, try to leave them alone, easier said than done, they sound completely normal to me xxx

Thank you lots, glad to know someone has had the same experience. :yesyes:

unwellandworried
02-11-19, 21:14
Do you have any symptoms such as night sweats? Do you bruise easily? Have you lost weight for no reason?

Not that I have noticed, no. I've heard lymphoma night sweats are drenching and I haven't experienced that so that's a good sign. And I don't bruise at all. On the topic of weight loss I have lost some weight between last year and now but I think I can attribute it to not eating and drinking so much junk every single day and staying more hydrated than I used to because of dietary changes due to a different medical reason. Thanks!

Careful1
03-11-19, 05:16
You can go to the Dr and have yourself checked out but you almost certainly don't have lymphoma. Your lymphnodes if infact are enlarged likely haven't returned to normal because you are constantly touching them. You can cause lymphnodes to react by poking at them and you mention you already know your running the risk of developing shotty lymphnodes by consistently touching them if you haven't already. You don't mention any other characteristics of lymphoma. Your Dr wasn't worried and so you shouldn't be. They don't play around when they think there is a possibility their patient has cancer.
Go and get a second opinion if you feel the need but once you get the all clear start working on your anxiety.

Jase.
03-11-19, 23:06
Not that I have noticed, no. I've heard lymphoma night sweats are drenching and I haven't experienced that so that's a good sign. And I don't bruise at all. On the topic of weight loss I have lost some weight between last year and now but I think I can attribute it to not eating and drinking so much junk every single day and staying more hydrated than I used to because of dietary changes due to a different medical reason. Thanks!

Take comfort in the fact you don't have any red flag symptoms - it's highly unlikely you have lymphoma :)

unwellandworried
04-11-19, 01:03
Take comfort in the fact you don't have any red flag symptoms - it's highly unlikely you have lymphoma :)

Thank you for your thoughts! It'll take a while but I can surely get over this as well as others. :yesyes: