View Full Version : A break
LouiseAndy
03-11-19, 04:26
So, I've been struggling alot in the last few moments- it all came to a head tonight. I had a huge panic attack, I couldn't breath. Like I was actually on my knees gasping for air, I called my Mam and she didn't know to do so she called the helpline who told her I wasn't having a panic attack and to get me to hospital because I was probs having a heart attack. That the hospital had to do loads of tests, that she was shocked my doctor hadn't given me a 24 hour monitor for my symptoms
Sitting in the waiting room of the a&e I thought I was going to die, like I was sure of it. After my Mam told me what the helpline said, I was sure of my death. I couldn't breath and all I could hear was my heart racing. So they did a ecg, took my blood pressure. Waited a few hours to see the doctor, he said he didn't think it was anything. That the ecg showed nothing, that my heart was kinda high but grand. So five hours later, I'm at home and at a loss.
The help-line reminded me of a gp (who I had seen when my doctor was on hols) also sent me in to the hospital at once telling me I probably had a life or death infection in March 2018 after a test at her office and telling her all the issues I had. The hospital said there was nothing and I'm still here- so that might be here my doubt comes from sometimes. My Mam also said she wants to make a complaint about that helpline- but I guess anything about the heart they have to send you in. Maybe she was just over the top about it.
The helpline had me dead, the hospital did like one test and that was enough. I'm all out of types, I know I did a post here earlier but I'm going to take a break from here. I need to focus on my mental well being 100%, that means off the internet fully as I tend to find things to get me worked up alot. Also when I thought I was dying in the waiting room, I was so upset because there was so much more I wanted to do. Wanted to see and I havne't done it. So I want to work on that.
Thank you and Goodnight, I'm going to try and really kick myself up the bum about this. Use it as a push for myself. Not fall into the whole "Oh no what if the hospital was wrong and I'm dying!" gap.
LouiseAndy
03-11-19, 09:04
Will leave this by saying, last night was rough. I couldn't sleep because funny enough my heart was racing but I think it was so much built up panic. I need and want to do better. I'm starting it today with work.
Good luck with it all, and the 'use it as a kick up the butt' is a great positive to take from that horrible night.
I'm sorry you had to experience that LoiuseAndy :hugs:
I had a similar experience about 5 years ago, even said my goodbyes to everyone and an hour later the paramedics just sat there, told me it was a panic attack and suggested I get a pet.
When you phone any emergency number, they have to cover their liabilities and assume the worst.
Saying that, panic attacks are no laughing matter and can be very convincing.
Maybe a break will do you good. You may need to go back to basics and you know you can always come back if you need to. x
Oh love, I’m so sorry for you. It must have been so scary for you both.
From experience I know that the helpline will generally send you to a&e or urgent care. Every time I’ve rung for my daughter they’ve told me to go in. Once my OH was having a gallstones attack & they sent paramedics and made me give him an aspirin before they got there in case of a heart attack.
So what I’m trying to say is that I get it.
Go see your doctor and tell them what the helpline said - get his response and write it down so that you remember and can refer. It’s great that your results at the hospital were good. Even at your scaredest you were still ok.
So yes, use it as a new checkpoint and move on with it.
It’s not easy, get as much help and support as you can. We are here too xx
:hugs::flowers::hugs::flowers:
Thinking of you as always, my brave friend xxxx
LouiseAndy
04-11-19, 05:51
Hi Everyone, thank you for the replies. They mean the world to me, that you all took the time to reply to me. It was very emotional yes, I lucky have therapy anyway tommorow- but I think I'll need it. To be honest I guess after being told my heart was fine with the ecg. I guess I thought that's it rather foolishly.
I had a mostly good day today, yet the moment I tried to sleep. My heart kicked up a gear, I broke out into a hot flush and started shaking. I was gasping for air every few moments-- I have come to stay in my parents house after this. I went downstairs to my Mam as I couldn't deal with it, it's been weeks since I had more then hour night sleep. She's put me on one of the Coach in the hopes me being close to her will help. Which I really hope will help, it's horrible being at my age and needing to depend on my Mam like that.
I will take more time to reply to every single of you on a personal note, I'm sorry for whinny so much. I'm just...alot of feelings right now. I never thought life would be like this at 23, feeling like I was dying on my parentd coach. Sorry for any spelling mistakes- my Mam had her own issues at the moment. My boyfriend called me a selfish cow yesterday for going to the a&e after my attack....so that's a guilt of that happening and I don't want people to feel put out by me anymore. So I rant here alot. My deepest sorry to anyone who's been annoyed by me.
Louise, it doesn't matter how "old" you are..your Mam will just want to do all she can to help you manage your anxiety which is overwhelming you at the moment..You can't help it but you can put your mind to working on your mental health which is what you are doing.
i would advise sticking to this thread and avoiding other areas of NMP which may be triggering and unhelpful xx
Louise, has it occurred to you that maybe you need a better boyfriend?
None of this is your fault; of course you want your mum at a time like this. I think it's a tribute to both of you that you're able to depend on one another like this.
LouiseAndy
04-11-19, 11:56
Hi Pulisa and BlueIris, thank you both so much for replying when I'm being a right mess. I've very lucky to have the Mam I have. She's been a real support to me. I just hope I can be as much as support back to her-- and yeah I'm thinking this boyfriend might have to go lol.
I manged to get a gp appointment this morningzwhen things feel so horrible it's hard to believe it's all my stuff but she says I know it is deep down. She's starting me on lexapro- which I really hope helps as no table I ever tried before either helped /didn't make me feel worse. I need something to help me move forward.
Glad you saw your gp and that you’re trying something new! Keep us posted x
LouiseAndy
05-11-19, 00:04
Glad you saw your gp and that you’re trying something new! Keep us posted x
Thanks Scass, I'm just truly feeling rubbish and looking forward to trying the tablets. Just hoping they help because I'm really at a loss of what to do.
LouiseAndy
05-11-19, 04:41
I'm really struggling tonight, I feel like such a burden and waste of space. Like I had a test done in the a&e, my gp listened to everything today and said everything was okay. Yet I'm struggling to breath, my limbs are feel so heavy, my hearts racing. I can't sleep in fear, I feel so sick. I'm scared to start my tablets tomorrow. I'm so weak, I thought I came so far. I'm menat to be going on hols on Sunday but how can I like this? I want to go, I want to all these things yet I'm so weak. I know this place may not be the best for me but I feel like I'm putting a burden on my friends and family.....I feel like there sick of me. They have the right to be.
Oh I also don't have a boyfriend anymore lol gonna take that as a good thing though
LouiseAndy
05-11-19, 07:57
Just taken my first dose of Lexapro, hoping this works! I've never faired well with tablets
LouiseAndy
06-11-19, 01:59
So, today was really hard. I got dumped for going on meds, I don't think it's really hit me yet. It was a long term thing and he was a great support but I guess enough is enough sometimes. I know I can be a burden, so I can't complain to much.
The meds are rough, I didn't get any sleep last night, It's been a whole week since I got sleep.
I had a ecg and yet I still feel like I'm going to have a heart attack or something.
I just want to sleep, I just want to do alot of things, I broken down to my therapist and she's trying to help me rebuild myself but god I feel so lost and I'm in dead of consonantly feeling like my heart gonna give out.
MyNameIsTerry
06-11-19, 02:36
Louise,
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at the moment :hugs: If you feel it best not to be here then that's totally ok but if you need this place it's here for you too.
Your BF calling you that is obviously ignorant but only you guys know how the relationship is and in times of stress we all flip at people. However, getting dumped for going on meds is stupid on his part as you are trying to help yourself. Maybe it is his way out? Maybe it's too much for him and, whilst that's awful for you as you need all the support you can get, you will get yourself sorted and other relationships will happen (and a more understanding BF may be on the horizon for you). In times like this the strength of relationships is highlighted so perhaps he's just not the right guy for you and perhaps that's more about him?
Yeah, I think we all would understand that feeling of being useless as an adult in this situation. I'm older than you but had to ask my dad to take me to the doctors to get myself some help. But perhaps we need to forget about this stigma side of things and remember that's what loved ones are for? If it was something physical wouldn't we get support from them? We may even take them with us for support.
As for the helpline, as others have said it happens here too. We once had a support GP for the area (not one of our own) sent out by our helpline and he was quite negative about the poor quality from them. The paramedics were sent for my mum because she was having back pain and being elderly with asthma they obviously take no chances. But they told my brother she was having a heart attack (after 20 minutes on the phone!) and when the paramedics turned up they had something totally different recorded as the reason they were sent out. This was when the doctor turned up and was a bit annoyed at them.
They tend to get heavy on the legal side and send tons of people to A&E. In your case this was a really big mistake as it would obviously scare the life out of you at a time when you are already in that state.
LouiseAndy
06-11-19, 02:54
Louise,
Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time at the moment :hugs: If you feel it best not to be here then that's totally ok but if you need this place it's here for you too.
Your BF calling you that is obviously ignorant but only you guys know how the relationship is and in times of stress we all flip at people. However, getting dumped for going on meds is stupid on his part as you are trying to help yourself. Maybe it is his way out? Maybe it's too much for him and, whilst that's awful for you as you need all the support you can get, you will get yourself sorted and other relationships will happen (and a more understanding BF may be on the horizon for you). In times like this the strength of relationships is highlighted so perhaps he's just not the right guy for you and perhaps that's more about him?
Yeah, I think we all would understand that feeling of being useless as an adult in this situation. I'm older than you but had to ask my dad to take me to the doctors to get myself some help. But perhaps we need to forget about this stigma side of things and remember that's what loved ones are for? If it was something physical wouldn't we get support from them? We may even take them with us for support.
As for the helpline, as others have said it happens here too. We once had a support GP for the area (not one of our own) sent out by our helpline and he was quite negative about the poor quality from them. The paramedics were sent for my mum because she was having back pain and being elderly with asthma they obviously take no chances. But they told my brother she was having a heart attack (after 20 minutes on the phone!) and when the paramedics turned up they had something totally different recorded as the reason they were sent out. This was when the doctor turned up and was a bit annoyed at them.
They tend to get heavy on the legal side and send tons of people to A&E. In your case this was a really big mistake as it would obviously scare the life out of you at a time when you are already in that state.
Hi Terry,
Thank you so much for taking the life to reply. I'm truly feeling lost and alone at the moment.
I feel guilty for panicking my Mam so much, that I'm not in a better place for her. That I should be in a better place after all this time I have spent going to therapy and such. My Mam has her own issues, I feel like I'm such a burden to her and wish I was so much better for her.
As of with my ex, I can say I understand. He had go through alot of things with me, maybe he didn't phrase it the best way but I think everyone has their limit and he reached his. After dealing with me and my issues for so long, I guess he couldn't take anymore. He always said to me that I had come so far, so maybe this set back was to much for him.
I understand that they have to send you to A&e with certain issues right away, like they can't take a chance....but I feel like helpless right now. I just want to cry and cry. I feel like (I know with is very HA thoughts) everything is put down to my anxiety and I'm not being listened to at times. I just feel unwell mentally and physically. I can feel attack coming on right now.
I feel so useless- but thank you for giving me the time to reply.
LouiseAndy
06-11-19, 03:44
I just want to add, I know that the center of my issues is I tried to take my life in the past so it's gets overwhelming the fear of death- but mainly that I didn't take a chance of life when I had it. That I wasted my time, so every time when I get into the panic it's like "Oh f*ck this is the end." I'm trying my best to push past it all. I'm sure a ecg can tell you alot and I'm over-thinking it all.
LouiseAndy
06-11-19, 06:27
I manged to get a hour or two of sleep before waking up with a pounding heart rate. Like I was total breathless and it was scary. I manged to sit up and semi calm myself. I'm struggling Abit now but I'm not crying mess either. This is quite hard but I'm trying.
Louise -
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through all of this. I too have gone through extreme periods of anxiety. Over a period of time I learned what coping methods help me.
Exercise is one, whether it’s going to the gym or simply a walk around the block.
I also think that you sharing on this website helps, almost as a form of a journal. Being in community is great.
Please keep us posted.
You're doing great, Louise; I know it feels awful but I think you're dealing with this really bravely.
You poor thing :-( That was horrible to go through, so scary.
LouiseAndy
06-11-19, 10:46
Hi everyone, sorry I can't go into more detail and reply to everyone right now but know I am thankful for each and everyone one of you replying.
I went to get my blood pressure checked and it's super high. I've never had that before so not feeling great right now, I don't understand how I could just have tests yet feel so unwell.
LouiseAndy
06-11-19, 18:55
I called my gp today because I ended up vomiting four times today and she's decided to take me off the meds for now. I also told her about the heart thing last night and she's decided to send me to a cardiologist :/ I'm not sure how the long will be and such. I'm just so exhausted now. I still feel so down both physical and mentally, I manged to eat some toast but that's about it.
I think that was the wise decision to take you off the meds, sounds like with the vomiting and possibly high bp that they are not suiting you doesn't it. Louise, you sound so miserable and life is really throwing you some c**p at the moment, but you just hang on in there and know that it WILL get better. :o I think you are coping much better than you think, and light will come....
LouiseAndy
06-11-19, 19:27
I think that was the wise decision to take you off the meds, sounds like with the vomiting and possibly high bp that they are not suiting you doesn't it. Louise, you sound so miserable and life is really throwing you some c**p at the moment, but you just hang on in there and know that it WILL get better. :o I think you are coping much better than you think, and light will come....
Thank you so much for the reply Carys, it really means alot at the moment. I think it's like things kept happening and happening, now on top of that having to see cardiologist? It's all way to much and draining but I've come out of mad places before and hope I can do it again x
This too shall pass...hang in there!! I will keep you in my prayers.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
LouiseAndy
06-11-19, 20:12
This too shall pass...hang in there!! I will keep you in my prayers.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thank you so much xxx
LouiseAndy
07-11-19, 01:02
I'm really struggling, I'm in bed and I just want to sleep but my mind can't shut down :( I feel like I've let this heart issues to long and it's to late (dramatic I know)
Shut off the computer or phone, pick up a book or put on the TV and distract yourself. You're dragon is begging for a reassurance fix.... Tell him to piss off!
Positive thoughts
LouiseAndy
08-11-19, 19:09
So yesterday was surprisingly a good day, one had one moment of total panic and racing heart- but I manged to pull myself together and go to my friends house even tho I felt awful. I manged to get some sleep last night and woke up in a "semi" calm state.
Today was mainly good, I did have two bad epsoide of racing heart when I went in to do some shopping in a shopping center- but I manged to get it done. Even if I did have some bad moments- plus the reason I've been shopping was on Monday I'm meant to be going on a holiday I've spent a few years saying up for. I'm making myself go and trying to remind myself in the bad moments-no matter how bad they are. That they would have seen something on the ecg in the hospital and if it was that serious I probably wouldn't be written to ye all on here.
Also someone pointed out to me, that my Doctor probably only made the cardiologist appointment because I've been going on and on about the issues for so long. Even though everything she's checked, she said that everything is fine. Even if things are getting worse with it, I'm still here. Somehow- even in those moments in terrifying. My body gets all numb and tense. Things got dizzy. I'd say half the reason I feel so shit is because I'm exhausted from my muscles tensioning up so much the last week and the bearly good night's sleep I've been getting.
I'm hoping I can really just pull myself together and enjoy my hoilday. I really, really wanna be on that plane on Monday.
LouiseAndy
08-11-19, 19:10
Shut off the computer or phone, pick up a book or put on the TV and distract yourself. You're dragon is begging for a reassurance fix.... Tell him to piss off!
Positive thoughts
I actually took your advice and went to see my friend. Things were kinda shitty but I manged to enjoy myself abit! Trying to be more positive!
Louise, what you wrote in that first longer post at 7.09 shows that you are putting some seriously good work into emotionally dealing with things. Good on you, some quality rationalising going on !
I'll second that. Believe in the ECG results, believe that your doctor has only made the referral to reassure you (because nothing else so far has) and believe that you will be on that plane on Monday because you certainly will if you keep yourself focused on these positives and not on the HA voices in your head which want to sabotage your wellbeing x
If anyone wants to kind of get away from all ;&&++#$:+$@:grrrr...for a bit and just listen to a good story there's a great site called Librivox. It's free! All the classics...Dickens, Sherlock Holmes, Shakespeare...detective, mystery, religious, nonfiction, fiction, history... anything in the public domain. All on audio ready to be listed to. I love it.
N.
Here's the link:
https://librivox.org
LouiseAndy
08-11-19, 23:50
Here's the link:
https://librivox.org
Thank you Noivous! I'll defo look into it :)!
LouiseAndy
08-11-19, 23:55
I'll second that. Believe in the ECG results, believe that your doctor has only made the referral to reassure you (because nothing else so far has) and believe that you will be on that plane on Monday because you certainly will if you keep yourself focused on these positives and not on the HA voices in your head which want to sabotage your wellbeing x
Thank you for taking the time to reply Pulisa xx It really means alot. It's like....yeah the panic when it happens is awful but also. There's been tests and this trip has been years in the making- so I don't want to drop out at the last moment. As I know I will just be more upset the next day! I think I'm slowly coming around to believing the result from the ecg? It's like I try to remind myself that I do get intense panic attacks, that do cause my body to go stiff and my heart racing- Yet! I'm still here! It's been along time with them but I'm still here! I'm going to really try to put my mind on the focused on the positive and just roll with any of the bad stuff xx
LouiseAndy
08-11-19, 23:57
Louise, what you wrote in that first longer post at 7.09 shows that you are putting some seriously good work into emotionally dealing with things. Good on you, some quality rationalising going on !
Hi Carys!! Thank you so much for taking the time to reply xx It means alot. It's not easy but I'm really trying to think about the positive and believe in the results, as I really don't want the fear to cause me to miss out on this really once in a life time trip. As I said, I would just be more upset to miss out. I have to stop doubting the results and looking for reasons to panic. One my friends is med (and I never ask him questions as I don't want him to think I use him for med knowledge.) Yet I did ask him what a ecg would show- and he said it may not show exactly what's wrong but it would show something wrong. So I'm trying to take comfort from that!
MyNameIsTerry
09-11-19, 02:38
Loiuse,
I think the fact you are pushing yourself to continue a normal routine at such an intense time shows you are better than perhaps you think in terms of anxiety severity or that the worst of it was shorter lived than it could have been if you let it go on. You could avoid the world in a cocoon at home but you are pushing yourself out there and pushing through the effects of these exposures to your anxiety symptoms. Whilst it hit you hard you are rebounding quickly and that's a very good sign you will be back on track soon. :hugs:
LouiseAndy
09-11-19, 02:54
Loiuse,
I think the fact you are pushing yourself to continue a normal routine at such an intense time shows you are better than perhaps you think in terms of anxiety severity or that the worst of it was shorter lived than it could have been if you let it go on. You could avoid the world in a cocoon at home but you are pushing yourself out there and pushing through the effects of these exposures to your anxiety symptoms. Whilst it hit you hard you are rebounding quickly and that's a very good sign you will be back on track soon. :hugs:
Hi Terry! Thank you so much for the reply! and you're very kind words :hugs: I think my Mam would call me stubborn haha, I've spent so much and money planning this trip- I know I would be so much more upset for missing this once in life chance. So even tho I'm still having some of the same Symptoms/fears etc.....I want to go on this trip. What's the point in missing out? Even though I fear there is something wrong with my heart- there's a list of people who don't think there's anything wrong. Including my own gp and a a&e doctor- plus a friend training in med....all people who know alot more than me lol.
LouiseAndy
09-11-19, 03:54
I will admit, I felt rather phycial unwell tonight (like my stomach felt off and like I needed to be sick). I felt panic creep in- so I rang the nurse line for my insurance company where you ask them general questions. She said the ecg from last Saterday is probs 99.9999999999999 percent right and to enjoy my hols. So even for how unwell I'm feeling currently, I'm in a more positive mindset and I'll make sure to send a postcard xxx
Thats great news LouiseAndy, enjoy! :yesyes:
LouiseAndy
09-11-19, 22:14
Thats great news LouiseAndy, enjoy! :yesyes:
Thank you Carnation :hugs:
LouiseAndy
09-11-19, 22:15
So today, I started to feel that fear again. I guess because it's the same day as I ended up in the a&e.....I let myself take my pulse once and it was 80! Which really shocked me as I expected it to be alot higher. I'm really trying to remind myself that it's been a week and I'm still kicking. That my stomach is off because I've had weeks of intense anxiety!
LouiseAndy
10-11-19, 10:23
Last night wasn't great, very anixety file and I had to go down to my Mam for the first time in awhile. She thinks it's just a build up before going tommorow. I know I'll be more upset if I don't go, it's just the lead up to it's hard. The what ifs and such!
Like my heart would have given out at this stage but my mind is really struggling with the thought at the moment.
I'm sure its the build up to tomorrow Louise, and yes, you entirely yet again totally understanding what is firing you off with your anxiety. This is courageous still going away, and it is the right thing to do.
(BTW you do know that if people do get ill on a plane, which you won't, but if you did lol, they are trained first responders with equipment and land and get you straight to a hospital)
LouiseAndy
10-11-19, 21:27
I'm sure its the build up to tomorrow Louise, and yes, you entirely yet again totally understanding what is firing you off with your anxiety. This is courageous still going away, and it is the right thing to do.
(BTW you do know that if people do get ill on a plane, which you won't, but if you did lol, they are trained first responders with equipment and land and get you straight to a hospital)
Thank you so much for the reply Carys :hugs: It's been a nail bitting down with the anixety- but I have everything ready to go! Just waiting around for another few hours, as my flight is at six am!
LouiseAndy
11-11-19, 05:09
Just at the airport, sitting at my gate while my heart pounds away lol. I didn't think I'd get here but I'm here
LouiseAndy
11-11-19, 05:56
Sitting on the run way and might be here for another hour or so. Not really feeling it lol
MyNameIsTerry
11-11-19, 06:03
But you have gone when you could easily have stayed at home. You can do it! It's anticipatory anxiety and it thrives in an environment where we are waiting and can overthink. So fill that time and distract your mind away from straying into negative thinking and symptom scanning. I hope you have a great time :flowers:
Think ahead Louise, think of what is to come - not this awful 'dentist waiting room part'. This part will pass, its temporary and the real reason you are going will be here soon. (Mind, you could be there by now anyway if the plane took off....a short flight ?)
Louise, I'm very proud of you when you eventually get to read this. x
Wishing you a wonderful holiday, Louise. I hope you have a holiday away from all your anxieties and troubles too and come back feeling happier and healthier xx
Have a fabulous time Louise! Xx
LouiseAndy
11-11-19, 19:47
Hi everyone, thank you all so so much for the lovely replies- I would reply to each and everyone one of you but we don't have internet at the moment and the cost of data on my phone bill will be something but I wanted to take a moment to thank you all so so much for taking the time to write to me.
The flight was stressful but once we got into the air, it calmed a little for me. It's been a long day with some moments of total panic I won't lie and I've got a banging headache now with some head time to get used to- but we're off for some food.
I really can't believe I manged to do it lol. My mam also rang to tell me that the hospital sent me a appointment date for the cardiologist and it's comforting in a way because its like well it's done now and just have to wait for the date.
Thank you all truly, once again for all the kind words and such xxx
I'm so pleased for you Louise :)
This trip can only give you confidence x
LouiseAndy
12-11-19, 16:18
Today's been a struggle, I've constantly felt exhausted/weak/just spaced out. My heart is also racing, I went down to a shop earlier and it was bad but I manged to get what I wanted before leaving. My legs are all shacky now and I just feel ugh. I'm glad u got here but it's just alot currently
LouiseAndy
12-11-19, 21:16
I manged to get out for abit today, I'm not back with a bad headache and just feeling off. My heart rate has been high alot of the day, my eyesight also feels strange- like things look like more blurry. I do wear glasses but it's not this much. The person I'm traveling with has been very sweet and understanding it makes me feel like such a burden
Hey Louise,
So, it does sound like you are quite anxious still, do you think that would account for your feeling so off ? Are you dehydrated ?
LouiseAndy
13-11-19, 19:01
Hey Louise,
So, it does sound like you are quite anxious still, do you think that would account for your feeling so off ? Are you dehydrated ?
Hi Carys,
My apologies for taking so long to reply. We don't have internet here and like I said I'm trying to use my data at a minimum.
I think I am quite still anxious, things still aren't great with how I feel phycial and I'm feeling constantly in fear- so I do think their going hand in hand. I'm managing to get little bits done everyday but I still feel awful. All weak, heart pounding etc. I'm defo going to try and drink more to keep hydrated!
LouiseAndy
14-11-19, 09:07
I've not had a better day, I've wokem up woth a pouding heart. It's been hours and it refuses to settle down. I'm meant to be heading out soon but I just feel so useless and scared of this. I thought I would have settled better at this stage
Hi Louise, I'm sorry you are feeling this way, but try to remember Claire Weekes advice. A pounding heart is a good sign you are alive. It's pounding because you are highly sensitised, not because there is anything wrong with you. Try to remind yourself of that. x
A pounding heart is only adrenaline Louise, think of it as a cardiac work-out without the effort lol
LouiseAndy
14-11-19, 11:36
@Carnation and @Carys
Thank you both so, so much for the replies. I'm aware of the fact I'm being very dramatic and doom thinking right now. That is a good point about it being a good work out without the effort Carys lol xxx and Carnation those are some good words ! Thank you both truly again for taking the time to reply to me
So I tried to do something with those feelings, I got up and cleaned most of the place we're staying while the people I'm with take a nap. I got like a good 90 percent of it done, just need to wipe down a few things. I just took a break as I started to feel a bit overwhelmed- probably cause I've been so into my anixety my body been tensed up. So just taking a few breaths before getting back to it again.
LouiseAndy
14-11-19, 19:58
I manged to go out for the whole day!! There was a good few moments of panic but I sat down and did my best to breath it out. I'm exhausted now, my body is weak, my head is pounding- but I managed to do it :)!!
You are doing great Louise, and you know what there is no reason to panic......you will be back before you know it (are you away for 2 weeks ?) and so make the most of it now.
LouiseAndy
16-11-19, 00:53
You are doing great Louise, and you know what there is no reason to panic......you will be back before you know it (are you away for 2 weeks ?) and so make the most of it now.
Hi Carys, thank you again for the reply xx I'm really working on trying to make the best of it. Like today I actually went and go a train by myself and walked a good distance by myself as there was something I wanted to see and the others weren't interested. I was upset but I manged to get out and do it. Oh don't get me wrong, the whole time on the train I thought I was going to vomit up my heart and leave this earth- but I manged to do it! Shacky legs are first that got more strong with each step! Exhausted and all that other stuff but so pleased
MyNameIsTerry
16-11-19, 01:43
Well done, Louise. Just think if you are pushing through it now after having a big knockback how much more easily you will be doing these things in the months to come.
Enjoy your holiday!
LouiseAndy
16-11-19, 10:21
Well done, Louise. Just think if you are pushing through it now after having a big knockback how much more easily you will be doing these things in the months to come.
Enjoy your holiday!
Thank you Terry :)! I'm trying to learn how to cope around these weak moments- like the mornings when I wake up are always hard. I feel sick and my heart pounds - I just wait for it to pass before I try to start with my day! Trying to take all the steps forward !
You are doing brilliantly Louise :yesyes: x
LouiseAndy
16-11-19, 21:14
Thank you Carnation x
This evening has been a bit of a struggle, my heart been pumping quite hard- I can feel it so I'm guessing when it gets like this it's well over a 100. I did eat a few hours ago and I'm having some burping now so maybe it's reflux causing it?? Out and about anyway so doing my best to push through it
Hi Louise, I get the thumping heart and burping too, acknowledge it as your anxiety. We tend to gulp in extra air which can cause the wind problem. None of it can harm you. x
I get the thumping heart and burping too
Stimulation of the vagus nerve near the stomach from air./gas/indigestion in the stomach, can make your heart rate increase a bit. Its very disconcerting, I have it myself along with ectopics, if you can get yourself to release that gas by say sipping on water it can make it disappear quite quickly. I had it only two nights ago, a gassy disturbed stomach and raised heart rate - I call it a 'fake anxiety response' because it seems like it is purely a physical reason (coming from the stomach) for the pounding heart. I wasn't anxious, but get it anyway. Your stomach is disturbed by anxiety, so really not suprising to me you get it ;o)
MyNameIsTerry
17-11-19, 06:29
Ladies don't release gas! I thought it's glitter like the unicorns? http://yoursmiles.org/msmile/girls/m0424.gif (http://yoursmiles.org/m-girls.php?page=2)
Yes, you are right Carys, the water does help. :yesyes:
Terry, should us ladies be passing wind, silently? :roflmao:
Us Ladies! I tried to pass wind silently but :busted::oopsie:
Me too Quinn, I try not to bend over too often :blush:
I'm sure Louise wasn't talking about bum-burps and rather her stomach, so how has this moved on through the gastroinestinal tract ??? LOLOLOL
:roflmao:
I'm hoping it will give Louise a laugh, which might release the wind. :yesyes:
LouiseAndy
17-11-19, 22:43
Oh my gosh!! Thank you guys I had some laugh now reading these replys :roflmao: !
@Carnation & @Carys thank you both so much for the info and replying get again! Today all three of us traveling were stuck to bed with different stomach issues, we think something we ate didn't go down well with any of us. I've been really gas all day and it's cause some bad chat pains and fast beats- but kinda settles up I get the gas out! Hoping for a better day tommorow as we've got a exciting day planned!
@Terry and @ Quinn sure a lady never tells about her wind I guess.... :roflmao::noangel::winks:
:roflmao:
I'm hoping it will give Louise a laugh, which might release the wind. :yesyes:
:yesyes:Good one,Carnation xx
LouiseAndy
20-11-19, 11:38
Today has been rough, I stayed in alone today because my ibs is really playing up (some of the food here while good but my body has decided was NOT good for it!) It's been awhile since my last ibs flare up so it ain't to much to complain about that way!
I've been feeling very faint, every time I stand up my legs lock and I can't do much with my heart pounding. I just feel really out of breath and general unwell etc etc - but I'm doing some of my therapy work and reminding myself these feelings while scary- it isn't going to hurt me. I had tests done, I've had this fear /feelings on and off for quite some time now. So just doing my best to roll with it.
I think you made the right choice by staying in today, not be anything bad will happen, but it will give your body a chance to calm down and gets some rest.
Us anxiety sufferers need more than the average person. x
LouiseAndy
20-11-19, 22:34
I think you made the right choice by staying in today, not be anything bad will happen, but it will give your body a chance to calm down and gets some rest.
Us anxiety sufferers need more than the average person. x
Thank you Carnation xx Today's been really rough due to phyiscal and emotional issues but I'm still here !
And you'll be there tomorrow and the next day and next day....... :hugs:
Just put it down to an off day that's now over. x
LouiseAndy
22-11-19, 16:33
Just wanted to quickly thank everyome whos replied to this x I'll do more of a update when I get home! Heading to the airport now- feeling very much filled with anixety- pouding heart and all- and I have the worst headache but I can't just start a new life here so back home I go x!!
LouiseAndy
22-11-19, 23:55
Im home now- it was a rough flight. The crew had to sit down for most of it. My was racing the whole time i was waiting for the flight, my legs went to jelly and Idid vomited once. My heart was well over 160 I'd say- yet I'm home now! My legs and whole body feels heavy, my heart gone down to about 90's now. I'm very unwell feeling and the whole heart fear is strong-- but i still went!!! And now I'm home again :)!
Well done Louise :yesyes:
You were amazing!
LouiseAndy
23-11-19, 03:18
Well done Louise :yesyes:
You were amazing!
Thank you Carnation xxx it wasn't easy- and things have just gotten worse since I got home. I know I'm a silly but I have so much trouble breathing. I'm trying to sleep and everything it's like I can't anymore without issue. I keep snapping awake that causes me to sit up and...just waiting for my heart to start giving me issue again at this stage lol
LouiseAndy
23-11-19, 04:30
I know it's possible Hypnic jerk- but I've had in a number of times over the last few hours- like at least 10 times. It just a brief moment where to try to sleep and suddenly I kinda jerk, feeling breathless before arising trying to get up. It also makes me heart kick up a fuss because I get a little jolt Everytime- I'm worried about the working order of the heart. I know I'm overthinkong but my body is so tried after everything these few weeks...yet
LouiseAndy
23-11-19, 05:16
I gave up on sleep even tho I'm exhausted :( I guess being home is like being back in another reality of my currently mental being. Like I said a few pages back, I have the cardiologist appointment (10th of December) and my stuipd brain is telling me I won't make it that far- it also said I wouldn't make the trip but here I am home and all
LouiseAndy
23-11-19, 06:30
Been hit with a sudden wave of dizzy and my limbs locking up- just everything feeling quite bad rn
Louise, Everything you have said is common with anxiety, but if you feel the need for a doctor's opinion, then that is understandable.
Rationalise your thoughts......
You are exhausted and had little sleep.
You've been fighting anxiety like a Warrior.
You are now home so your nerves are going through a repair stage.
You will be overtired and highly sensitised.
Take it easy today and rest up x
LouiseAndy
23-11-19, 14:25
Louise, Everything you have said is common with anxiety, but if you feel the need for a doctor's opinion, then that is understandable.
Rationalise your thoughts......
You are exhausted and had little sleep.
You've been fighting anxiety like a Warrior.
You are now home so your nerves are going through a repair stage.
You will be overtired and highly sensitised.
Take it easy today and rest up x
Thank you so much for replying to me Carnation- it means so much to me. I know I ramble on here alot. I think alot of the physical anxiety has gotten up to me now I'm home. I feel awful, weak and faint when I move around- just alot of bad feelings but I'm off today and not back to work until tomorrow so hoping to rest up today and be good again for tomorrow!
LouiseAndy
23-11-19, 17:42
So in the last months, my mental health has really taken a bad dip. It all started when I got the coil put in and it ended up breaking- causing alot of pain and issues....they didn't take it out for months. Coming to a head when this day about three weeks ago, I had to brought to the a&e because I thought I was having a heart attack. It was horrible, they did a ecg and sent me home saying all was fine. Since then my GP has sent me to see a cardiologist (the appointment is the 10th of December.) She said she doesn't think it's anything but at this stage with how in going my issues have been, she said it's wroth looking into.
So my main issues is breathlessness,racing/pouding heart, dizzy spells, I also get really tense legs and it makes me feel like I'm gonna fall when I walk. I generally just feel unwell alot...like this dread of it's all going to end....
Yet I've just come back from a two week hoilday, I went at a terrible point for my mental health but I didn't want to miss out. I'd say 80 percent of the hoilday was good but I also had those other issues. I manged to go- I manged to even do a day trip by myself.
Being in public is hard for me, it sets me off- I always feel like I'm gonna faint or...ya know die because my body goes into total panic mode. Which upsets me as I used to be a very independent person, I could go anywhere by myself and now that's not possible.
Even today, I felt awful when I woke up- all those things I listed above and more....yet I'm pushing myself to go and have dinner with a friend. I haven't seen in forever. I know it's going to be hard....but I want to do this.
Basically I'm really going and want to try and improve myself. This evening I may even feel worse and that dread is overwhelming again but I need to move forward again. I got into a better place before and I want to do it again.
LouiseAndy
23-11-19, 20:43
I manged to go dinner- it was very hard. I felt awful but I manged it! I'm home now, still feeling uneasy but gonna try and rest for a looonnng day at work tomorrow
LouiseAndy
23-11-19, 21:53
Just found out my sister is pregnant!!! Which is so wonderful and lovely- they been trying for so long...it did come with a bit of a stinger as she told me I needed to cop myself on with how I've been....like I know where she's coming from but like she's suffered badly with mh herself and I've done everything I can to help her....so it just hurt abit
Oh Louise, you really don't know how well you are dealing with everything.
Anxiety is such a powerful and frightening condition.
Again, I feel all those things you feel and its not nice you have to feel them at all, but under that is a strong and determined person who will beat this. x
nomorepanic
24-11-19, 15:38
Hi
This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.
Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.
It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
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