Hey guys having a very bad episode right now

[Phoenixess]

Hi everyone,
i ate and drank a bit late tonight and my heart is going ten to a dozen im trying to distract myself soming on here hoping you guys are around to chat.
thanks PH

[Sparky16]

I always regret eating late at night, too. Always seems like a great idea at the time!

[Phoenixess]

Still having a really really bad day it’s awful. I’ve got a tingly little finger I had a panic in the corner shop I’ve been crying in my mums arms I can’t cope at all


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[WiredIncorrectly]

Hey Phoenixess, it's probably best to knock the alcohol on the head for a bit and deal with the mental health first. It's rough, and I honestly feel your pain, I go through it often.

Think about it this way. At present you have a mental health issue that I assume you're working on improving (if not please do speak to your doctor). Your brain is in an incorrect state.

There's things you can do to help the mental health such as exercise, eating regular and well, keeping hydrated, practicing meditation etc.

There's also things you can do to make your mental health problem worse such as alcohol, drugs, stress, etc.

Right now you've got mental health brain. So you need to work on treating mental health brain and giving it all the right things it needs to do its job well. I quit alcohol because I was an alcoholic and my situation was different. But many times I'd wake up with a hangover feeling exponentially worse the next day or 2. Hangovers are the worst with anxiety.

Curl up in bed with some lucozade, water, and a bag of Doritos. Put something on Youtube or Netflix and ride it out. It will pass. It's just anxiety because you're worried about how you're feeling due to the way the hangover is making you feel.

If you can stomach food melted cheese on toast worked for me to lessen the hangover effects. A greasy fryup, or sandwich also work. I don't know how, but it does.

[BlueIris]

Seconding James on this one: when my stomach's acting up from anxiety, a fry-up works wonders.

[Phoenixess]

Hi guys, I think I used to cope with my anxiety by drinking wine but I wasn’t connected to it that I realised what I was doing. in the summer I gave it up for 8/9 weeks and that’s when this all began to get worse and I’ve not been the Same since, I can’t touch wine but I have a vodka heart and there, it’s coming up to my birthday so I’d like to have one on my birthday but I can happily cut it out again and hope it makes an improvement I gave it up for a few weeks again last month and found no shift.
Eaten some cheese and onion rolls and melted monzerella sticks at my grans. Hoping I stay calm now for the rest of the day.


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[WiredIncorrectly]

Hi guys, I think I used to cope with my anxiety by drinking wine but I wasn’t connected to it that I realised what I was doing. in the summer I gave it up for 8/9 weeks and that’s when this all began to get worse and I’ve not been the Same since, I can’t touch wine but I have a vodka heart and there, it’s coming up to my birthday so I’d like to have one on my birthday but I can happily cut it out again and hope it makes an improvement I gave it up for a few weeks again last month and found no shift.
Eaten some cheese and onion rolls and melted monzerella sticks at my grans. Hoping I stay calm now for the rest of the day.
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Exactly the same situation as me down to a T. The reason why I am struggling a year and half after quitting alcohol is because it was my social crutch. The anxiety is masked and when you remove the crutch it's back to square one. Actually I should have said you end up at square -100. I believe it takes a long time to recover from this to learn to deal anxiety and life without the alcohol.

Feel free not to answer this question but how much do you drink? And do you drink daily to help with anxiety? It doesn't have to be from when you wake up. Maybe a bottle of wine at night or something. Because that was me. Except it got out of a control at some points and I was drinking more than 4 cans of beer a night. My 6pm drinking time change to 3pm. While I wasn't waking up drinking, I was drinking daily, and using it to deal with anxiety. So I had no option but to stop if I wanted any chance of getting better.

It was hard. But, worth it. I still have anxiety, but at least I don't have to deal with the alcohol problem anymore.

[Phoenixess]

So annoyed I’d started to type a reply and lost it.
So this is a shorter version....
No I have never drank every day, I used to only drink wine here and there with occasional binges once or twice a week. When I gave up the wine and cigarettes I unleaded the demonic side of my anxiety as I literally feel like I’m possessed.

It began when I still wasn’t drinking or smoking and had a hospital admission with my first mega untriggered panic then from that things spiralled. I tried to drink wine again but I have become mega intolerant/allergic and now I’ve had the odd vodka here and there. I’m thinking of knocking that on the head again. I’m just devastated, I used to live alone be independent now I live with my mum and things are this debilitating! I’m literally breaking, in still not brave enough to try sertraline.

I’m panicking about the heart monitor on Monday, I just can’t get the nerve to manage anything. I know I am not the only one but this just feels super unfair as an illness to any of us! No one deserves this.


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[Phoenixess]

Cried in church this morning felt awful, just fed up of pains down my left side


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[Phoenixess]

Had a better day yesterday after crying in church but I’ve just had the most severe nightmare of my life. I dreamt I was internally bleeding and the doctor kept saying to me can I see my brain heomorrage and then in a and e in my dream thee was a man on a trolly bleeding from his head convulsing on a trolley. I’m in floods of tears convinced I never want to leave my bed ever again right now

[BlueIris]

It was a dream; you're better off getting out of bed, having a cup of tea and putting the TV on for a bit. Put some physical distance between you and it.

[Phoenixess]

I’ll try I feel horrible it was horrible and so scary and the doctor was manipulating my belly and my face went numb


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[BlueIris]

It was a dream, it's not real. You're here now. Get up, engage as many of your senses as possible; lying there re-living it is making yourself worse for the sake of it.

[Phoenixess]

Hi blue I went back to sleep in the end feeling a bit better now thank you for supporting me


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[BlueIris]

Glad to help - nightmares can be awful, can't they?

[Phoenixess]

I can’t agree more, I’ve had some health ones recently but not to that extent it was very scary and very real.
I’ve got to go to get my 24 hour heart monitor today. That maybe where it came from.
I went to church yesterday and people prayed for me. My faith helps with my anxiety. It was nice to share my feelings, and usually when I fear the “heart attack” fear I usually bottle up and not tell anyone and make it worse.
On Saturday I told my mum and she held my hand and walked me round our garden like I was a child again and then I just cried into her shoulder I don’t know why but that was a huge comfort. I always feel I need to be strong for my mum but on Saturday she really pulled me through. But still I had this tingling in my left finger and it for worse when I had another panic in the corner shop. So I googled (for my sins) stretches for ulnar nerve in the hope if I could release it it might ease my fears. I got the stretch and managed to untrap the nerve the minute The sensation changed I was smiling and then and chest discomfort I got I ignored.
And I have been ever since. I’m really trying to mange this head on and I’m convinced I will shift this to a lower manageable level of anxiety. I’m happy I have my CBT again this week despite having to ask for a new therapist.


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[BlueIris]

I'm glad you have your faith, Phoenixess - I've never been a believer and that can make it tough when the worries act up.

I used to get tingling in my fingers all the time; unfortunately that then switched to elbow pain which continues to be a blasted nuisance. Basically, bodies are always going to do weird stuff, but nine times out of ten it's absolutely nothing.

[Phoenixess]

Was yours the ulnar nerve too?
Faiths a hard one it can give me great comfort but then when I drift away from it it causes more problems for me because I personally feel disconnected and a bad personal but then I’m too anxious to return. I had gone to my church four times in the mast month cried at every service nothing was shifting until today a bit of comfort, I’ve woke up less tense also xx


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[BlueIris]

I mentioned it to the GP and she said it was probably tendonitis. I've tried ibuprofen gel in the crease of my elbow which is reasonably helpful, but not as helpful as not doing the things that make it worse.

I'm definitely a humanist; it's tough sometimes but I do find my own insignificance in the grand scale of things oddly comforting.

[Phoenixess]

I had tendonitis before And severe tennis elbow (if it is tennis elbow)... I went to an osteopath and he rubbed and massages my arm worse but fixed it after one session. Same with a severe hip problem I had for ten years one session with him and he fixed it (that was bursitis and the hospital were planning on giving me stem cell treatment to rest the bursa with 50/50 chance of it healing) then met that guy and whoosh I’ve in over 18 months now never had a problem after it left me bed bound. Osteopath is great,but I’ll post the link of the stretch I did or I can describe it and see if that gives any relief [emoji4]

You stretch your bad arm out to the side at a right angle the height of your shoulder. Palm facing away. Used your other arm to bend your fingers towards you specially the one that is tingly and then holding the fingers bend your arm towards your should hold for a few seconds and repeat five times. On the third it untrapped my nerve, even when it hasn’t happened I continue to do the stretch to keep it free.


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[BlueIris]

Thank you! I'll give it a shot as soon as I'm alone in the office :)

[Phoenixess]

[emoji4][emoji4] let me know


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[Phoenixess]

Got heart monitor wearing it now trying not to think about it! Might be back depending on how it makes me feel. Really trying to ignore it but now I’m worrying about breaking it [emoji15]


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[BlueIris]

Good luck! I'm sure it'll all be fine, though.

[Phoenixess]

Thanks blue xx


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[Phoenixess]

Still got the heart monitor on feeling okay about it decided to have a vodka because I know when I drink my heart rate goes faster and sometimes I get palpitations at least then we will get a true reading with everything


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[Phoenixess]

Though I was doing good with this heart monitor thing when i ate my dinner and id had a drink out of no where had the worst palpitations i can recall with chest pains literally thought i was going to die, ended up being sick and it calmed down a bit and now i feel dreadful. So pissed off, mainly because i have the heart monitor and now they have it all recorded. I feel awful and panicky and what if it happens agains? anyone else get chest pains with palpitations??

[Phoenixess]

These nightmares are awful just had another and palpitations this is horrible

[Pkstracy]

I bet its due to anxiety, I am sorry you are going through this I am having an awful time myself. I get pain down my left side rib area its due to my body tensing up due to anxiety. wishing you the best. Try meditation and listen to some soothing music or sounds, get a salt lamp they work wonders for anxiety.

[BlueIris]

I'm definitely having issues with nightmares right now; if they're hanging around making me feel bad I tend to get up and walk around the flat.

Sorry you're having such a horrible time.

[Phoenixess]

Poor you blue, I think because I didn’t have any conscious panicky yesterday they came out in my subconscious. I dreamt I died with the heart monitor on and they said my heart was abnormal and I was like why would you say that your not professionals and then in the same dream my mum got attacked and I witnessed it and I was stabbed and the person who attacked her and stabbed me their faces looked evil. I fell back to sleep after an hour or so rocking but it was horrible.


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[BlueIris]

It can happen. Re-living them really won't help, though; best to replace the images with positive real-world ones.

[Phoenixess]

Hi Blue thanks for the advice, it took all day to calm myself and to finally get the images out my mind.
Received a cryptic message from the hospital saying they will phone me on the 19th about a hepatology appointment seems im falling to pieces, not worried about it as i had alot of tests in the summer on my liver and stuff and everything came back ok. So just wait and see.

[Phoenixess]

Also did you manage to try the stretch i mentioned was it any help?

[BlueIris]

Not yet; will give it a try first thing tomorrow.

Stay strong, okay?

[Phoenixess]

Will do thanks


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[Phoenixess]

Hi guys still going through the motion but managed to come to the museum today and see a couple of friends after cbt this afternoon. I just wondered who here has had holter monitor and how long does it take for results and how quick would they contact me if something serious appeared on it?
Thanks


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[WiredIncorrectly]

Hi guys still going through the motion but managed to come to the museum today and see a couple of friends after cbt this afternoon. I just wondered who here has had holter monitor and how long does it take for results and how quick would they contact me if something serious appeared on it?
Thanks


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I've had one. At the time I was as worried as you are, but you will quickly realize the fear is worse than the actual holter.

A holter monitor is standard protocol and is usually done in anxiety patients to give them comfort and reassurance to know that there's nothing sinister going on. Your doctors already know it's likely just the anxiety. Mine knew it was anxiety, but I refused to believe him, so he sent me to a cardiologist for an echo, ecg and wore a holter monitor. Everything came back normal. They did mention something about "a bit of extra flappy skin" on one of the valves but said it's no issue, will not cause me problems and will in no way impact my life of the longevity of it. And to date it hasn't.

I used to worry silly over my heart. I get episodes a couple of times of week where my heart rate will spike due to anxiety but they're becoming increasingly rare. I used to have ectopic skipping heart beats a lot. I had them for days, and thousands of them. Went to A&E against the advice of the people here who told me "It's your anxiety and you know it".

I started taking an SSRI and my skipping heartbeats went away. Even during panic attacks I no longer get them.

I mention all of this because it's sometimes hard to believe what anxiety can do to you if you let it. I've pretty much learned to handle my anxiety attacks. I did a post here called "riding the wave". It's also in my podcast (that I've still yet to upload from the weekend, but I'm out of bandwidth for the moment). I'll link you to it when it's uploaded maybe it will be of use to you. Riding the anxiety wave is a great way to kick it's butt and learn to cope. It's something I developed myself that works for me - but I'm probably not the only one with the same idea.

[Phoenixess]

Thank you WiredIncorrectly I'm having issues when i eat i have a spike in my heart rate but settles after 20 mins almost like a panic. I'm proud tonight i managed to take two paracetamol which sounds so small but for saying ive been too scared to take any tablets for weeks its been a huge milestone. I had the holter monitor on monday until tuesday i guess i just wondered how long prior til i hear results, i get fast heart rates every day to the point theyre problematic and its scaring me. I think i just want to know this one after eating is normal and not something else i havent addressed with the doctor.

looking forward to listening to your podcast cheers x

[Phoenixess]

Hi guys had an up and down day, feel in edge don’t want to sleep tonight. Hope your all ok x


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[Phoenixess]

Just had two bad panick attacks one after the other just crying on my bed feeling so alone, my heart rate doesn't seem to go as fast now when it happens but the burning tingling chest pain is the worse symptom along with the shear terror of impending death and overhwelming fear of the rest.

[Phoenixess]

Hi guys just an update as I’ve been a bit quiet. Getting there slowly I cried today I had this horrific pain down my left side again and this has been a consistent trigger for fear of a heart attack. Today I finally ballsed it and went to the osteopath who said I had two trapped nerves on under my first rib which was out of place pressing the nerve against my collar bone and the other in the mid area of my back on my shoulder towards my arm. He actually said it was an impressive injury especially it came on the back of two falls a couple of months ago and I’ve Carried on regardless with the pains and weird symptoms of numbness in my hand shooting pains down my arm and shoulder tingling altered sensations. The other day I pressed on my collar bone thinking it was the weather being colder making it worse or I had a inflamed rib muscles I genuinely couldn’t be sure it hurt like hell when I massaged it the other day I howled but kept massaging hoping it would show some relief. Now I have discovered the reasons behind it I’m a bit upset of actually having such severe injury .....
I’m hoping if I can relieve these symptoms I can understand I am ok because when I’m calmer and the pains have gone or I have no symptoms I don’t get into a panic. This afternoon I was just in a car and had this pain down my side and trying to shut my brain up did not happen until I cried and made the step to get to resolve this issue.

Like I said just an update not a happy one of sorts but I’m fighting on and trying to stay positive.... it’s my birthday in three days too x


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[WiredIncorrectly]

The pain down the side wouldn't be heart related. You've had it on and off for a while now so it's more likely muscle tensions related to the anxiety as the ostepath said.

I think I told you about the time I pulled my rib muscles from a panic attack. They took a long time to heal and a single bad panic attack caused so much tension (that I wasn't aware of) that it actually pulled a muscle. I thought I was having a heart attack and called an ambulance as a result.

You can stop worrying about the heart now though. Your heart is all good.

And happy birthday in 3 days! It was mine last month. I'm officially in the middle of becoming 40.

[Phoenixess]

Hey thanks hun
I’m catching up with you i will be 9 years off 40 in a few days lol
Yer it’s a lot more reassuring what the osteopath said really pleased I went


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