How do i cope?

[angiebaby]

Has anyone got some really, really good ways for me to cope please. Got to go and see my dad tomorrow in the chapel of rest and i do not know how i am going to manage it. Just trying to imagine this is making me panic and then there will be a mass tomorrow night where he will be going into the church, a procession which we will follow and then the funeral on Friday morning. I just know what i am going to be like. I don't know how i am going to do all this, it is far too much and i already can't cope as it is. My legs are like jelly all the time again now and i don't think they will work at all tomorrow. How will i cope please?

[nomorepanic]

Angie

When I went to see my dad I was terrified that I would crack up but when I saw him I realised it wasn't him there - just a body and it actually helped me.

I didn't see it as my dad and I even made a comment that shocked some people by saying he looked like a wax works model!!

You will cope because you have to and we are very good at coping when we do need to.

I hope all goes well and will be thinking of you.

My thoughts are with you.
xx

[honeybee3939]

Angie

My thoughts will be with you tomorrow too hun:hugs: :hugs:, i can understand just how difficult this must be for you at such a sad time.
Im sorry if my reply hasnt been much help but hoping a hug will somehow comfort you:hugs: :hugs: .

Love and hugs
:hugs: :hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[angiebaby]

Thankyou for your kind replies. I'm just so scared.

[belle]

Hi Angie..

This is a horrible thing to experience. My thoughts are with you. I don't know what else to say. Sorry.

x

[Southern_Belle]

Angie,

I really don't know if you can prepare yourself for such a thing. I do know it would probably help if you have someone you can lean on for support. Grieving is a process and you can only do it your own way in your own time. My thoughts and prayers will be with you to give you strength.

Huge hugs,

Laura

[angiebaby]

Oh that was so awful!!!!
I managed to get out of the car and actually into the place and then i went all to pieces, i was too scared to actually go into the room. My hubby and two boys went in and i just stood by the door, to scared to look. I broke down and was just a wreck, eventually i managed to peer around the door and take a look at him. Oh it was so devastating, so terrible. I managed to get to the coffin and put the stuff in that i had to put in, hubby and boys put theirs in and then i just had to leave. My legs were so bad i didn't think i would make it back to the car. I was having a massive panic attack and thought i would just collapse, faint and die!!
I've still got to follow the coffin to be accepted into church tonight and go to the funeral tomorrow, don't know how i will do this, today has been enough for me.
I have nursed all my life and up until i left the hospital four years ago, the switch in my head was switched off. Dead bodies and the like never bothered me because it never got past the switch. I have been in general practice for four years and it has been that long since i saw my last dead body and i have been ill with PTSD and anxiety/panic for three years and now i just cannot cope at all. I am such a wreck. When my mother-in-law died, 10 years ago i coped fine and i also coped fine with my nana and others in my family that have passed away. But now, since i have been ill, the switch in my head is constantly switched on and everything gets to me and i can't even cope with day to day living, so this is just hell. I can't do anything to make it better, i have tried to thing horrible things, and get angry, to help me through, but i just can't, i am just in pieces and i have got to go tonight and tomorrow, i have no choice, and i am just so scared.

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Angie,

I'm very sorry it was so bad. Maybe the worst part (the viewing) is over. I don't have the words to make it better just know I am here if you want to talk. I personally think you have done great.

Huge hugs,

Laura

[Coni]

Hi Angie, just wanted to say I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, and i think you will get through it, and you are doing just fine. Sorry, words seem very inadequate at times like this.
luv Coni XX

[angiebaby]

Well, i went to my mum's and followed the coffin to the church and then walked in after it. Don't know how i managed it to be honest, and went in the church for the small service. I thought it was about 10 mins long but my daughter said we were in there for 20 min's. It was devastating and if i couldn't cope with today then how the hell am i going to cope with tomorrow. The funeral, the cemetary and the wake, i can't cope with this at all. I have had severe panic attacks today, all the symptoms, still shaking even now, but the thing i fear the worst is collapsing, fainting and dying! I just think that i cannot cope with this and my body will give way, shaking all over so bad today, and did not think that my jelly legs would hold me up. I am not doing very well at all and people say to take rescue remedy but i am too scared to take anything, since everything i have had has made me really ill, now can't even take a paracetamol!! So please help me, i really don't want to go, too scared, but i have no choice, i have to go. What can i do, how will i manage with all this?

[honeybee3939]

Angie hun

You have done remarkabley well today:hugs: , i for one am very proud of you, i wish there was some magic wand i could wave that would ease you pain and fear.
I will be thinking of you tomorrow too.

Love and hugs
:hugs: :hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[anxious]

Angie love,

my mum had severe panic attacks many years ago and the one thing that helped her was our lovely doctor saying "that no one ever died from a panic attack".
You will get through this,
sending you love, hugs and positive strong vibes,

anx xxx

[groovygranny]

Oh angie,

I'll be thinking of you.

I have something to face too so will keep you close in thought.

It isn't going to be easy love, but we're all here supporting you.

Keep us all in mind when things get really rough - that's what I'm going to do.

Sending lots of love and hugs to you. XXX:hugs:

http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa312/Tenderheart1956/BIRTHDAY%20TAGS/ALITTLEHUG4U.gif

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Believe]

Angie,
Hi, I am so sorry that you are having such a rough go of it. Wish that there were words to make it all better. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers for tomorrow.Just take a deep slow breath and remember that you can make through this, hard as it may seem. I know I have been there to dear.
God Bless.
Believe
I BELIEVE IN TIME WE ALL CAN GET BETTER!

[Bill]

I know there are no words that can bring comfort at this time but my heart goes out to you as I can sincerely understand how you are feeling as I lost my father 2 years ago and I too experienced your fears.

My legs gave way when I saw him in the chapel and I couldn't stop the pain in my chest. It's been the only time I understood what they meant when they say your heart breaks. I was very anxious on the day of the funeral. I didn't know how I'd cope after how I felt at the chapel but on the day I surprised myself how well I held up and so I feel sure you too will get through this bad time.

I truly feel for you.

[honeybee3939]

Angie

Thinking of you today hun:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[angiebaby]

Well, what a day!!
Had to get up very early to go and get my dad's car and take our car to the place where the wake would be so we had transport home. Dropped our car off then had to get in my dad's car and pick up auntie and go to my mum's. Not good so far. Then relatives were coming to my mum's, harder still, then the funeral cars came. By this time i'm becoming a wreck. Got to and in the church and i stayed for the whole hour long service. Had panic attack after panic attack and didn't think i would stay conscious, terrified that i would faint and die. Terrible trying to get out of the church then all people were coming up and hugging me, made me worse! Everyone commented on how wonderful my poem was that the priest read out and when he did i broke down then. It was so very hard.
Back in the car and down to the cemetary. I stayed in the car with my daughter and one of my sons, couldn't go and stand and watch the coffin go in, had enough by then. Then we went to the wake. I just sat there and drank tea. I was still having panic attacks as i sat and just gormed out for most of it to be honest. Just kept drinking the tea!! Didn't think i would make it out of there and into the car, but i did, then we brought my mum back to ours. She wanted me to go to her house, but i said i needed to come home so she came with us. Been trying to take my mind of everything now with the internet. Today was so hard, but i did go and i did do it. I did it for my dad and everyone has said how well i have done. I don't feel like i did well as i was such a wreck, all the symptoms i was having were awful, everyone that is possible, i had it 10 fold. But i did survive and i am still here to tell the horrible tale. Never thought i would do it. I am still in a state, still shaking, and i'm still drinking tea!! Just can't believe that he has gone and i have come through this. I miss him so much and this has changed my life completely, nothing will ever be the same again and that is very, very sad.

[honeybee3939]

Angie

Im sure your dad would have been very proud of you today hun:hugs:

A massive well done too :hugs:

I lost my father a few years ago, i thought my world had come to a end, could never imagine him not been around, but it does get easier as time goes on. my dad is still in my thoughts everyday, i know he would have wanted me to happy, im sure your father would want the same for you hun.

Im very proud of you Angie

love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[Danuella]

I am so sorry for your loss and really feel for you.
I was the same at my grandads funeral hun,but do ya know what,i know he would've been so glad that i was there for him and i'm sure your dad would've felt the same,the min thing is that you were there hun.
Well done for managing to get through it.
My thoughts are with you.
Hugs
xx

[groovygranny]

Angie,

You are a credit to your dad -http://www.paulwaters.com/images/shining.gif

Well done for coping with what is a very difficult time even when one doesn't suffer with anx and pa's.

I thought of you and sent loads of love to you today - we both came through eh?

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

:flowers: