How do i get others to understand?

[*Broken_Mind*]

Im really at a loss here - i desperately want support from my family but they just dont understand anything about anx and panic.

Whenever im suffering from what i call a 'Bad Spot' my mum puts it down to me being tired, not eating properly or being online too long.

Ive tried a few times to explain to her about what i go through each day but she doesn't get it.

Could you give me any advice please?

Stacey :)

[jayman]

Stacey,

go grab some pamphlets for them to read or indeed let them read it all online...it's very frustrating for you i know that people do not get it until they've been there.

or if you do see a dr or goto any sessions etc take a member of your family with you that helped me to get them to see its REAL.

don't concentrate on making them understand as that only makes you feel worse.

or bring them to this site for a good read up.

x
J

[*Broken_Mind*]

Thanks for the ideas Jayman!

Im thinking of taking mum along with me to my GP the next time i go but shes very judgemental and stubbourn. Im very scared she'll convince the GP i'm exagerating (sp?) then i will get no help at all. I'm also worried i'll be shut out by the family for being a 'freak'. They aren't horrbile people but no one else suffers from mental illnesses in my family and im already an outcast as it is.

I wish Mental Illnesses weren't such a taboo subject and everyone knew a bit about it like they do with diseases. It would help so many of us sufferers.

[jayman]

you certainly are NOT a freak

i'm hoping your mum will support you and not be to judgemental you will find the GP will be on your side 100% and will do there best to help your mum understand.

Mental illnesses are very well known about ( but not spoken about)

You simply have symptons that CAN be helped and treated.
at the end of the day its just chemical imbalances and the mind playing tricks right?? you're quite safe.

I'm sending you out a HUUUUGE hug and wish you good luck with the family im sure they'll be fine.

i'm here if you wanna chat as is the whole forum.

Chin up xx
J

[*Broken_Mind*]

Thank you :)

Really appreciate it.

Stacey :)

[Southern_Belle]

Hi Stacey,

You could also have her take a look at the front of the symptoms list on this site as it describes what we all go through and she will realize that you are not alone. There are many carers who also visit this site. I hope your doctor visit goes well.

Hugs,

Laura

[yorkylover]

Hello stacey.I get alot of support from my family,but I dont think they fully understand how we feel.My partner of 24 years has only just started to understand a bit more since last summer when he witnessed me having the worse panic attack ever.He seems to be a bit more calmer with me.I still think I get on all there nerves,but thats probably my negative way of thinking.

I agree with everyone here,is to get some info and let them have a read,and a good idea to take your mum along with you to the gp.

Sending you HUGS:hugs: :hugs:

[*Broken_Mind*]

Thanks everyone!

Im definitely going to take mum with me to see my GP.

Lets hope it works!

Stacey
:)

[KittyKate]

Hi Stacey,

My GP gave me a big booklet on anxiety, it was very helpful and informative. Maybe you could ask for one and show it to your mum.

Good luck xx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Stacey

I think its a good idea to take your mum with you when you go see the GP, i never went alone to my appointments, took my husband on various occasions and my mum as been with me too. The gp was helpful while they where there and even gave them advice too on how to support me.

hope that helps

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxxx

[DaveThe Snapper]

I can sympathise with you 100%. My mum was of the 'snap out of it' mentality. If it was that easy we would wouldn't we? Unless you've been there it's very difficult to make people realise what we go through. My wife gets migraines - she feels I can't comprehend the pain - I can't, I dono't get them. It's not easy to understand something like depression/anxiety unless you've had it. All you have to try and do is appeal to their compassionate side and make them realise it's not like a headache or a cold.

[Franz]

My experience is that family can never help with these things.

I've been on the edge today and thought of phoning my parents but there's nothing they can do. It just upsets them and we end up shouting at each other and the whole thing is worse for everyone.

Family are too close. They can't distance themselves. They blame themselves, and sometimes they blame you, but they can't offer constructive help. There's nothing but feelings of blame and guilt all round.

I don't have anyone else to talk to, so I'm on my own. It stinks. It's intolerable but no one said life had to be tolerable.

[Yvonne]

Getting family to understand this illness is one helluva task. Not just family, anyone who doesn't suffer. They just don't "get it", they cannot understand the feelings we get and that's because they can't feel them. I know this because I have talked my head off.

My family understand a lot more than they did because they have seen how badly anxiety affects me and they finally did get the picture that it was destroying me at one time.

It's sad that your mum can't relate in any way to it, there's quite a lot in women's magazines these days about anxiety and depression etc and if she had read some of these articles one would hope that she could at least gain some insight into how bad the illness is.

You were talking about no one else suffering with "mental illness" in your family - well, ..... that's now, -- believe me they may suffer at some time in the future. Also I think you are beating yourself up a bit with the whole mental illness label. Mental illness, the way we suffer is not being mad, and the trouble is that the minute the term "mental illness" is used people jump to the conclusion that we must be loonies which we are not! Please don't get yourself hung up on the fact that anxiety/panic/depression (etc etc) come under mental illness and start worrying about that label.

I think it's a very good idea to take mum to your doctor's with you. However, before you do take her print something out from the net (this site maybe) explaining in detail the shere pain and trauma anxiety causes. Make your mum read it.

Take care and I wish you luck because you need support and some tlc and who better than your mum to give it to you. Remember this though, no one who hasn't suffered this will never ever know how we feel. Ask yourself this, before you had it - could you have ever imagined how it felt?

xxxxxx