Any help and tips ?

[Sunshinegirl82]

I suffer from health anxiety and general anxiety, I’ve started ADs since past 3 weeks. The thing is my partner has got us in a lot of debt without me knowing I now know about the debt and we are somehow managing just about to pay the debt and our daily cost of living. Now although I have anxiety about the debt and it’s bad I feel I can almost control the situation so I can deal with it . In between all this my partner got a new job, he’s in a probationary period at the moment he had his six monthly review and they’ve said they’ve extended it for another 3 months as they feel that even though he has almost covered everything needed he hasn’t shown much evidence of one area which they need him to work on and have set an action plan and a mentor for him to sort this out . Now my issue is because I have no control over this as at the end of the day it’s all in his hands and the companies I can’t stop worrying and having panic attacks about it, and what I’ve realised I suffer the most anxiety when I’m in a situation where it effects me but I have no control on it as it’s not something I can sort out . I’m in a really bad situation at the moment constant panic attacks and I’m crying I’m just thinking of the worst case scenario, my partner has said both the area and Regional manager have assured him that his got nothing to worry about and it’s just this one area they need him to train up on more. However I can’t seem to think anything positive out of this as I’m not the one in control of this situation so how can I help myself not to feel like this ? Any help and advise will be welcomed as I can’t worry like this for the next 3 months

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Hey Sunshine,

Sorry to hear that you are going through this. It’s understandable as you feel overwhelmed and out of control in this situation. Do you work yourself? Or is anyone around to help financially? Are you renting or paying a mortgage. There is lots of help available if the worse were to happen such as the citizens advice bureau x

[AntsyVee]

Financial troubles cause even "normal" people without anxiety to have anxiety attacks. I don't think you should give yourself any grief for feeling trapped in this situation. My tips would be to remember to take care of you as much as possible: try to get some decent sleep--take a benadryl before bed if needed. Try to limit your junk food/fast food intake. Go for a walk whenever possible. Try writing down some of your frustrations in a journal or talk to a good friend that you can vent to.

[Sunshinegirl82]

@mrsmitchell yes I work full time as well and yes we pay mortgage. At the moment I’ve not told anyone about this it’s not something I want our families to know. I lost my dad four years ago and my mums on her own dealing with my brother who already is going through a divorce so I don’t want to burden her more. I’ve not told his parents who I’m very close due to because I know they’ve already got a lot on their plate.

@Antsyvee... yes I am taking care of my diet and trying to rationalise my thoughts as most As I can.

To be honest I just feel like I just need a break from this all very tiering I’ve took all the help I can get referred my self for therapy and taking antidepressants but I feel so helpless in this situation that I just can’t seem to think positive. I keep thinking take each day as it comes but I just can’t do that.

Thank you both for your reply

[Mrsmitchell1984]

@mrsmitchell yes I work full time as well and yes we pay mortgage. At the moment I’ve not told anyone about this it’s not something I want our families to know. I lost my dad four years ago and my mums on her own dealing with my brother who already is going through a divorce so I don’t want to burden her more. I’ve not told his parents who I’m very close due to because I know they’ve already got a lot on their plate.

@Antsyvee... yes I am taking care of my diet and trying to rationalise my thoughts as most As I can.

To be honest I just feel like I just need a break from this all very tiering I’ve took all the help I can get referred my self for therapy and taking antidepressants but I feel so helpless in this situation that I just can’t seem to think positive. I keep thinking take each day as it comes but I just can’t do that.

Thank you both for your reply


well done for referring yourself for therapy. You can do cbt4panic.org in the meantime and keep looking after yourself.

which anti depressants are you taking? Have you taken them before? Sometimes they can make things worse and make you feel much worse before you get better x

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Also are you able to put a bit of money aside? It just gives you more control over the situation x

[Sunshinegirl82]

@mrsmitchell, I’m on fuloxoteine and it’s been exactly 3 weeks today. At the moment I can’t put any money aside but from January I should be able to and also I don’t pay council tax for the last two months so I can save that as well. Believe it or not the debt is payable but just about but it’s going to be tough on us but the last thing I want is him loosing his job otherwise we are done for then. I just feel so out of control of the whole situation and the future looks very bleak at the moment.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

I’m on fluoxetine too. Is this your first time on it?

What makes you think you are done for if he looses his job-will he not find another one? I know it’s scary and your brain is telling you all these bad things - but it’s not as bleak as you may think xxxx

[Sunshinegirl82]

@mrsmitchell ... yes it’s first time for me taking anysort of antidepressant.
I know he can find another job but I just can’t think anything but negative at the Moment. I’m really trying my best However I’ve imagined us on the streets and bailiffs knocking on the doors and I’m constantly thinking and worrying and making Up backup plans for something that’s not happened And it may not even happen. I truly don’t know how to just calm down and think rationally.Im in constant fear and waiting for something bad to happen

[Mrsmitchell1984]

@mrsmitchell ... yes it’s first time for me taking anysort of antidepressant.
I know he can find another job but I just can’t think anything but negative at the Moment. I’m really trying my best However I’ve imagined us on the streets and bailiffs knocking on the doors and I’m constantly thinking and worrying and making Up backup plans for something that’s not happened And it may not even happen. I truly don’t know how to just calm down and think rationally.Im in constant fear and waiting for something bad to happen

It’s like you have to re brain wash yourself into thinking rationally again. It will come but the anti depressants can make things worse before they get better xxx

[Sunshinegirl82]

Hopefully it’ll come soon I hope, tbh because
It’s been 3 weeks I thought I got away with the side effects but clearly not this past week has been awful it’s worst in the morning when I get up, get this dreaded feeling in me and racing heartbeat don’t even feel like opening my eyes to start my day.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

That’s really normal- as awful as it feels. It will go too! I think the tablets are making things worse for you but the good news is the first 3 weeks are the hardest x

[Sunshinegirl82]

@mrsmitchell, thank you for your kind words, hopefully like you said the situations feel more than it is because of the medication. Anxiety has ruined my whole year I never knew the brain was strong.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

@mrsmitchell, thank you for your kind words, hopefully like you said the situations feel more than it is because of the medication. Anxiety has ruined my whole year I never knew the brain was strong.

see how you get on. Has anyone ever explained to you what the body does when you are anxious. Has someone told you it’s adrenaline x

[Sunshinegirl82]

Yes my gp did she said you’re constantly flight and fight mode, at one point it started to effect my periods delaying ovulation so she explained to me what happens in your body and why. I guess it’s all just a waiting game and sailing it out. X

[Mrsmitchell1984]

Aw that’s good- but adrenaline can’t hurt you and the less afraid you are of the feelings - the quicker they will fade away.

There is a great book by Claire Weeks- self help for your nerves x xx