People staying overnight

[Sunflower318]

Does anyone absolutely hate people sleeping over? I'm married with 2 young kids. My husbands dad lives an hour away and doesnt have a car so when he visits he stays overnight since my hubs drives to get him and take him home. I'm very uncomfortable with him sleeping here. It's not that I dont like him but I dont want any adults sleeping here. Neices/nephew's dont bother me. Sometimes at night when my anxiety is exceptionally bad I dont sleep well or I wake up nauseous and want to sleep on the couch with the window cracked. I get that its selfish but idk what to do. His whole family is coming twice for thanksgiving. We are doing one for his mom and one for his dad. (They are divorced and wont do one together). Am I being unreasonable? I should also say that his dad has only been in our life a few years so i dont know him that well.

[Carys]

What concerns you about it ? I'm kind of reading between the lines in the information above, but is it that he is sleeping on the couch and you want to use it ? I like house guests as it happens, and have people like my mother in law stay for weeks at a time - also other family members. It depends on how comfortable I am with them, and if I can just 'be myself' or have to do loads of looking after and hospitality stuff. It also depends on how often it happens, which you don't mention here ?

[Sunflower318]

I'm just not comfortable with it. I'm already stressing about having 2 Thanksgiving with his family. His mother is absolutely horrible and always gives backhanded compliments to me. In her eyes I had absolutely nothing to do with our kids. He found them in the woods. I just like my alone time when my kids go to bed and I can't relax with people here.

[ankietyjoe]

I don't think you're unreasonable feeling the way you do at all. Being unreasonable would be refusing to let him stay. Being uncomfortable with it is fine.

[Pea Tear Griffin]

I know how you feel on that one I don't like it when anyone I don't completely trust comes over since my home is my safe place.

[Sunflower318]

Well I dont want him to stay. This is the big issue. My husband does. 2 huge family dinners in 4 days is going to be stressful enough and with someone here I wont be able to recharge.
It's all his family and they are not bringing anything to help so I feel like the whole thing is a giant burden. I'm trying to talk my husband into letting him just borrow our car so he can go home or paying for an uber for him

[Carys]

I sense there is a lot more about this than just 'not liking people staying over'. What is it about him that is the issue ? Why 'no adults' what is different about them ?