anyone else feel this way?

[Scaredtoo]

I have severe anxiety. Mine started in childhood after suffering severe abuse by my father. Eventually this has led me to PTSD. I struggle every single day. I’m on meds. Zoloft and Wellbutrin, Xanax and Ativan as needed. I go to therapy weekly. I have good periods of time where things are okay and the worry about my health goes away. And then I have times like this where I am struggling. Alone. And I’m not alone. I have three daughters and a husband. They all get frustrated with me and my constant worries so I keep it all in. And I’m dying inside. I am melting. I am scared. I am frightened. I cannot get anyone to feel this pain if only to understand that I try so hard not to feel this way. And I am logical. I know when you focus on symptoms they get worse. I know it’s annoying for others to not understand this when they themselves don’t have it. Inside I am crying and I am so afraid. Outside I am smiling hiding my pain. I struggle to eat and try to hide I have no appetite. I want to crawl in bed and worry. But I fight against that. I know I have to keep busy. I know I have to forge ahead. I know I will make a doctors appts for this hard lump at the bottom of my finger. I know not to google yet I did anyway. And I know that’s why I’m here in this deep dark pit of fear because I read the ONE thing on google that pulled
Me into the darkness.

The loneliness and fear is so encompassing. I’m sure I’m not alone. What do you guys do when this happen and how do you cope

[Brian_VA]

You are not alone.