Lung cancer anxiety.

[JoanB]

Hey guys. I've been a regular poster with my lung cancer HA for a while, but it's still getting to me. I've been coughing up occasional red flecks, which look pretty close to dried blood with how theyre dark crimson. the doctors say this is from coughing and throat irritation, but i cant shake the fear its haemoptysis caused by lung cancer. I know im young (19) but have been googling stories about young people who have been diagnosed with lung cancer who initially were ignored by doctors because it was unlikely. Ive had two gps look over me, and now im going to CBT, but i still cant stop these constant panic attacks. I wake up dreading the day because i know im just going to end up crying and panicking all day.

I hate how my life is right now. I want to get better but my therapist says the methods he suggested (grounding etc) take daily practice. how am i supposed to live life right now besides doing those exercises?

Im sorry. this might sound scatterbrained. i havent been able to sleep in 48 hours because im so scared.

[Careful1]

People young as in just 19 years old with lung cancer being the primary cancer? I really don’t think you need to be worrying about lung cancer as you have been checked over by two different doctors. It’s anxiety that’s plaguing you, not cancer.

[NancyW]

My coworker was just diagnosed with lung cancer.. in a matter of 6 weeks it was extremely and unavoidably obvious something bad was wrong.

Lung cancer does not play nice, it's brutal.

Yes, she was a smoker.

[Careful1]

My coworker was just diagnosed with lung cancer.. in a matter of 6 weeks it was extremely and unavoidably obvious something bad was wrong.

Lung cancer does not play nice, it's brutal.

Yes, she was a smoker.

I agree with this. I lost a friend to it earlier this year.

[JoanB]

Thank you careful1 and Nancy W. Im very sorry to hear of your losses, i dont mean to be insensitive, i am just really scared!

I keep trying to tell myself that with;
no cough
no chest pains (related to breathing, atleast. my chest is very tender which worries me!)
and no fresh blood, only red specks

that its super unlikely, but for some reason it does nothing to help when i start to get really anxious! Ive been to an emergency mental health appointment and they said i should do techniques ive developed in therapy, and use lorazepam when it gets too bad, but i dont want to be addicted to benzodiazepines :(

IVe been living in hell the past two weeks, and it's starting to feel hopeless.

[JoanB]

im havnig a panic attack

I spit after having dinner and there was a big fresh red streak of blood. Im so scared im dying. Ive been forcing myself to cough into tissues and nothing. - are one-off instances of bleeding normal?! im crying. I am so scared. ****

[KK77]

I know you're panicking but take a step back for a min. This could be due to a 1,001 things - from a scratch in throat to chest infection. But lung cancer at 19? Highly unlikely.

You need to treat your anxiety, JoanB. Urgently.

[JoanB]

im seeing a therapist and on meds. cant stop crying. cant stop panicking.Im so scared im dying

[BlueIris]

You're really not dying. Stand up straight, take a breath and engage with the world.

[ankietyjoe]

You need to stop Googling, period.

The chances of you having lung cancer at 19 are practically zero, but it doesn't matter what we say as your Doctor has already told you it's not lung cancer.

The problem here is you and your googling/checking habit.

If you don't stop googling, you will never, ever stop worrying about it.

To recap, this is your own fault, stop googling.

[JoanB]

im sorry. My anxiety has taken over my life. even with the medicine and therapist's instructions its so overwhelming that i feel i have nowhere left to turn to.

I know im being a nuisance by constantly posting here. and my googling probably doesnt help things. carcinophobia has ruined my life.

i keep telling myself the chances are low. my rational mind and my anxiety feel like theyre at war

[ankietyjoe]

Don't edit something for being too curt, say what you want. I'm not judging you. That fact is that you (and most of us here, including myself) put ourselves in a place where we created the demons in our mind.

You do not have cancer, but your habitual checking and googling keeps reinforcing the irrational fear that you do.

Hence, your fault. Was my fault too when I used to do it.

Stop doing that, and you can recover. Keep doing it, and you never will, ever. Period. No exceptions.

[JoanB]

I woke up, cleared my throaat and there was a streak of blood. Blew my nose and there was much, much more. My rational mind and anxiety are so at odds right now, and i feel like a broken record.

Thank you for the advice, anxietyjoe. My therapist says the same thing. Im keeping a log of my checking behaviours and trying to reduce them conciously.

[ankietyjoe]

Don't try and reduce them, try and stop them. They serve no purpose whatsoever.

And for the record, coughing up blood and blood when you blow your nose isn't uncommon with an infection. I've had it before.