mat74
29-09-07, 20:00
...OK, Yesterday started off with a visit to the nurse at my GP practice to get my BP checked (monthly for me now) and it was 122/90 ... slightly raised but of no concern to her as she said I had been feeling down/ill and visiting the surgery can increase the BP as well.
Today I had a football match to go to, meeting mates at pub before football. I gave up en route and decided to make an excuse to mates and said I would see them at the stadium. The reason for this was because I could not face the social situation ... was I wrong to give up on this? Anyway, I started thinking too much and felt dry in the mouth, a bit wobbly and clammy. I calmed down, started breathing exercises and made it to football feeling not too bad.
During the match I felt at periods OK then light headed and dry mouth, then OK again. Anyway, I found talking to friends and taking my mind off the symptoms helped and I managed to get through the game OK and felt OK on the way back to the tube station.
I felt fine on the way back but then had another spell on the bus home but again calmed myself down (this time pins and needles, headache). I got in, fed the cats, then went shopping where again I felt a bit wobbly and light headed. I have just managed to cook cheicken and chips and eaten it all as I seem to have overcome most of the nausea I had a few days ago and I am now on 20mg Citalopram (upped from 10mg 2 days ago)
I am now relaxing watching the TV and trying to keep my thoughts calm. I feel very tired and nervous in a way but generally not too bad to be honest. I cannot say I feel tip top like I did months ago but am I progressing by being able to go out, see friends (sort of) and go shopping and eating?
A few months ago I would have jumped at the chance to go to the pub (although not touching alcohol at all at the moment) but I avoided it today ... that is my failure today, but should I also feel proud at getting through today relatively well?
I am away from 7am to 10pm next Saturday in another part of the country watching football - can I do it? Will I be OK? I am trying to remain positive and saying YES I CAN!
My first visit to the counsellor is next Wednesday and I am off sick from work (again, feel guilty about this but should I feel guilty?) but hopefully another few days should help the additional dose of Citalopram to kick in.
Hope you are all well.
Mat x
Today I had a football match to go to, meeting mates at pub before football. I gave up en route and decided to make an excuse to mates and said I would see them at the stadium. The reason for this was because I could not face the social situation ... was I wrong to give up on this? Anyway, I started thinking too much and felt dry in the mouth, a bit wobbly and clammy. I calmed down, started breathing exercises and made it to football feeling not too bad.
During the match I felt at periods OK then light headed and dry mouth, then OK again. Anyway, I found talking to friends and taking my mind off the symptoms helped and I managed to get through the game OK and felt OK on the way back to the tube station.
I felt fine on the way back but then had another spell on the bus home but again calmed myself down (this time pins and needles, headache). I got in, fed the cats, then went shopping where again I felt a bit wobbly and light headed. I have just managed to cook cheicken and chips and eaten it all as I seem to have overcome most of the nausea I had a few days ago and I am now on 20mg Citalopram (upped from 10mg 2 days ago)
I am now relaxing watching the TV and trying to keep my thoughts calm. I feel very tired and nervous in a way but generally not too bad to be honest. I cannot say I feel tip top like I did months ago but am I progressing by being able to go out, see friends (sort of) and go shopping and eating?
A few months ago I would have jumped at the chance to go to the pub (although not touching alcohol at all at the moment) but I avoided it today ... that is my failure today, but should I also feel proud at getting through today relatively well?
I am away from 7am to 10pm next Saturday in another part of the country watching football - can I do it? Will I be OK? I am trying to remain positive and saying YES I CAN!
My first visit to the counsellor is next Wednesday and I am off sick from work (again, feel guilty about this but should I feel guilty?) but hopefully another few days should help the additional dose of Citalopram to kick in.
Hope you are all well.
Mat x