Tripping up over words

[Bennyjj81]

So I've gone full circle.....

At the start of the year I had a major brain tumour fear that totally consumed me. I had an issue with my eye plus pins and needles down one side and weeks of dizziness. It got so bad I enede dup in a mental health assessment unit. Diagnosed with extreme health anxiety. I let it be for a bit but then I started having trouble reading, I kept missing words and then it started happening when I spoke. I kept tripping up over words and saying the wrong things all the time. I also kept typing wrong things and made typo after typo and I went into meltdown mode. Anyway I ended up in A&E and they gave me a CT scan as they could see what a mess I was. Nothing showed up and the Docotr told me to stop wishing bad luck on myself. Things cleared up after that...

Which brings me to now. The speech errors have started creeping in again, last night I told my son to stop missing me around instead of messing. Im finding Im having to make a more conscious effort to say the right thing and I still end up tripping up as im thinking a different word to what I want to say and a frankenstein word ends up coming out. Im also finding im really forgetful. For instance I want to Mcds drive thru, got my drink then drove off! Its only after I parked up I realised I didnt collect my food and today ive gone to work without a belt for the first time ever although I do remember picking it up this morning.

I think you all know where there this is going.....back to major brain tumour anxiety. Im so tired of it. Ive been on mirtazipine for 4 months and had 7 CBT sessions but it just doesnt seem to be improving. Could this all be anxiety again or should I consider going back to the GP? I've avoided them for 5 weeks now which is an achievement for me this year. I don't want to break that if this is just normal anxiety doing this.

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Hi Benny...

We all do it from time to time, and when your mind is so preoccupied with another million thoughts is it any wonder...I call my children by different names sometimes and I just read your post title as Tripping Over In Woods, nothing wrong with my brain I just get preoccupied and to many thoughts rushing around all at once...

Yes I think it’s all anxiety related and your over thinking and your brain is overloaded with too many things...xxx

[Bennyjj81]

Hi YNWA,

Thanks for your reply. I guess you are right, im certainly pre-occupied all over again just as I was at the start of the year. I'm trying to stay rational by telling myself this is exactly what happened before and it passed but an irrational brain doesnt like that!

[RadioGaGa]

I trip over words whenever I've been stressed/didn't sleep well/hungover/hungry/minds on other things etc etc.
It's nothing to worry about.

BTW - when people with brain tumours (or other brain diseases) have speech issues - its the people around them that notice it, not the person themselves usually.

You'll need to get your anxiety under control. I had the brain tumour fear for seven years of my life, until early 2019. It's such a rare illness, it really is a bit like "worrying" over winning the lottery...

Good luck

[Bennyjj81]

Hi Radio,

Yeah you're right, I suspect this is just the anxiety. Its just very frustrating that I'm back on the brain tumour fear again as this is the one that really gets me in a bad place. I feel like I am concentrating on every word I'm saying at the moment and every slip is triggering the anxiety spike all over again. I'm finding I'm really forgetful too at the moment and the irrational side of me is trying to join the dots.

I saw from some of your other posts about the link between gliomas and a lower risk with asthma which I have so I should just try and forget about it. Easier said than done! I'm trying hard to get this anxiety beast under control but its so tough, 2019 has really been a crap year and I feel bad saying that as there are people in a far worse position than me.

Considering you had this fear for so long how did you manage to overcome it? Right now I feel like the worst partner and father in the world and need to get better ASAP

[RadioGaGa]

Asthma has been associated with up to a 70% reduction in the risk of glioma. That's a massive risk reduction. (For example): In fact, it's even better than most drugs aimed at reducing risk of coronary events etc. So having asthma AND a fear of glioma is actually quite good news - because your risk is actually reduced dramatically.

Why does asthma seem to protect against glioma? In short and simple, they don't know. "They" think its due to asthma being linked with a sort of "hyper" immune system, which catches and 'destroys' gliomas before they can grow.

As I've been quite open on here that I work in a large Cancer hospital, which treats every cancer including gliomas. Eventually, my line of work reassured me further about the asthma/glioma link.

My NHS hospital has a cancer catchment of a population of around 1.8 million people. Therefore, the incidence of glioma is about 3 per 100,000 per year, so we should expect to see ~54 cases of glioma per year. During this time, I don't ever recall seeing a glioma patient with asthma or allergies!

How did I overcome such a long-running fear? A mixture of things. This forum, CBT and looking at the bigger picture. I was fearing a disease that most people have never even heard of. Walking down the street, unless you stop people outside a medical facility, most people will not even have an inkling what a "glioma" is.

Again, when you have speech issues from a brain tumour (glioma or benign tumours) its usually/almost always the others around you that notice them, not you yourself.

Good luck and Happy new year

[Bennyjj81]

Hi everyone,

Still having weird head issues. When I try to read I keep misreading lines or read them back to front, for instance, I read dusting the sand as sanding the dust. I looked at my phone earlier this morning to see how much charge it had and I saw it as 72% when in fact is was 27%. I also have a really tight band like feeling around my head and its hung around for about 5 days now.

I ended up back in A&E as I was still saying words wrong and speaking feels quite difficult, like my muscles in my face were frozen and its coming out mumbled. I told them I was worried about aphasia but they were very dismissive of it and sent me back to the MHT who just wanted to admit me again and pump me full of drugs.

I guess this is more of a rant than anything. I keep going from being convinced I have a cancerous brain tumour to trying to be rational and say this is probably all just anxiety as thats what all of the medical professionals are telling me. They refused to scan me in A&E saying too many CT scans increases the risk anyway and I had a clear one in June last year when I was having some other strange symptoms.

Im so fed up and spiralling out of control again. My partner told me to leave at the weekend as she doesnt want me being round the kids like it (I dont blame her) and I'm trying to work through it but thats becoming harder and harder so no doubt my job will be next on the line.

Anyway thanks for reading. I know there are worse things going on for people on this forum right now so I feel like a failure for not even being able to handle this.