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losin
23-12-19, 18:01
Christmas is here and my anxiety is at an all time high. My ocd has found a myriad of things for me to obsess about and I've managed to dismiss most of them. I'm left with one lingering obsession which I feel I MUST ask a family member about. It regards my failings as a parent when they were young. I've asked for reassurance from them before and they've told me I did what I thought was best at the time and they're fine with it.
Now this thought has surfaced again as the family member is staying for Christmas. I want to ask them again if they are SURE I didn't let them down all those years ago.
The rational part of my mind tells me ocd is trying to trick me into seeking reassurance, I will feel relief momentarily and then it will merrily skip onto the next obsession which will be even worse than this one.
How to you tell yourself you will NOT ask for reassurance. How to you be satisfied with the answer you were given the first time you asked? I know my family will be mad if I ask for more reassurance and I'm trying really hard not to. :unsure:

MyNameIsTerry
24-12-19, 02:54
Has this developed because you are under more pressure at the moment? If so then reducing your overall levels of anxiety will help decrease the intensity of this cycle you are in right now.

It's not reassurance that is needed as you know, you've taken the correct steps to determine how your loved ones feels and why, but more acceptance that the past cannot be changed and to forgive yourself for not being perfect. What matters now is not adding to it by reassuarnce seeking and upsetting you family and to move forward doing the good things you do for them which shows the real you.

losin
24-12-19, 20:19
I think it is a lot worse right now because of christmas. I always feel like I'm not good enough as a parent and constantly obsess over past mistakes.