View Full Version : Documenting panic attack symptoms for the HA people...
I know a lot of people struggle with the full extent of how physically awful anxiety can make you feel, and I know that many here worry about the bodily sensations they feel.
Unfortunately, I'm in the middle of one of my rare, full-on panic attacks right now, but I figured I could take advantage of this to document everything I'm feeling and demonstrate what anxiety can do to a body.
So, here's what I'm dealing with right now:
* Diarrhoea. Approximately every 20 minutes I'm running to the bathroom with explosive, watery diarrhoea.
* Nausea. This is so violent my throat closes up at the thought of even sipping water. Normally breakfast is my reason to get up in the morning, but right now I can't imagine eating at all. Haven't vomited yet but based on experience it's probably going to happen shortly.
* Headache. Mild but very persistent.
* Chills/Tingling. Skin keeps flashing hot and cold.
* Feeling clammy.
* Aches. Presumably from tight muscles.
* Clumsiness. Keep bumping into things and tripping up my own feet.
* Brain fog. Can't think clearly or focus.
* Exhaustion. Can't sleep but keep dozing off and waking into terror.
ALL OF THIS IS CAUSED BY ANXIETY.
It's awful, but there's nothing more sinister going on.
(Really wish I had a GP who'd give me valium for the really bad ones like this, though!)
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 08:36
I know a lot of people struggle with the full extent of how physically awful anxiety can make you feel, and I know that many here worry about the bodily sensations they feel.
Unfortunately, I'm in the middle of one of my rare, full-on panic attacks right now, but I figured I could take advantage of this to document everything I'm feeling and demonstrate what anxiety can do to a body.
So, here's what I'm dealing with right now:
* Diarrhoea. Approximately every 20 minutes I'm running to the bathroom with explosive, watery diarrhoea.
* Nausea. This is so violent my throat closes up at the thought of even sipping water. Normally breakfast is my reason to get up in the morning, but right now I can't imagine eating at all. Haven't vomited yet but based on experience it's probably going to happen shortly.
* Headache. Mild but very persistent.
* Chills/Tingling. Skin keeps flashing hot and cold.
* Feeling clammy.
* Aches. Presumably from tight muscles.
* Clumsiness. Keep bumping into things and tripping up my own feet.
* Brain fog. Can't think clearly or focus.
* Exhaustion. Can't sleep but keep dozing off and waking into terror.
ALL OF THIS IS CAUSED BY ANXIETY.
It's awful, but there's nothing more sinister going on.
(Really wish I had a GP who'd give me valium for the really bad ones like this, though!)
Hey sorry to hear your suffering sweetie. What do you do that normally helps? Is there anything I can do to help xx
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Mostly I'm just trying to not get angry with myself, and remind myself that Mr. Iris having fever and foot cramps doesn't translate to meningitis ;)
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 08:40
You basically listed how I feel- I hope we can get through it together. We have different negative thoughts triggering it-you are worried about your husband and I am worried about a life of constant torture. I can tell you that your thought is not true and you will be fine. Maybe we can help each other with the negative thoughts that are bothering us x
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 08:44
Mostly I'm just trying to not get angry with myself, and remind myself that Mr. Iris having fever and foot cramps doesn't translate to meningitis ;)
Please don’t get angry at yourself. When I get into panic mode I just want a rest button. Meditation really has helped for me like just five minute one on YouTube nothing more or less. Deep breathing doesn’t work for me.
No I don’t believe meningitis symptoms are fever and foot cramps.
Sending hugs xxx
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I hope so, Mrs. M. I haven't had one this bad in a while. How are you feeling today?
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 09:09
Awww Blue- you are going to be fine and so is your husband. What our bodies and brains do to us eh?
I’m having a rubbish day today - just feel so clammy-hoping I feel better soon too - but my brain is telling me it will always be a struggle this life thing now x
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 09:10
Please don’t get angry at yourself. When I get into panic mode I just want a rest button. Meditation really has helped for me like just five minute one on YouTube nothing more or less. Deep breathing doesn’t work for me.
No I don’t believe meningitis symptoms are fever and foot cramps.
Sending hugs xxx
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I meant reset button x
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Thank you so much, everyone!
I still feel like rubbish but it helps so very much to have friends who understand.
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 09:26
Always here xxxx
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 09:36
Thank you so much, everyone!
I still feel like rubbish but it helps so very much to have friends who understand.
Your never alone hun just be kind to yourself today don’t do anything if your not up to it do what feels manageable for you it’s ok to have a day of or more than one xxx
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Here's where I am at the moment.
I went to get my husband a glass of water; he's hot and achy but in reasonably good spirits and rationally, I have no reason to suspect he has anything other than flu. I've left him to get some more sleep and got my backside up off the sofa even if it only lasts as long as it takes my phone to charge (I get uneasy if it goes below 75% ;)).
Food still felt like too much so I had a small glass of pineapple juice (pro tip: juice is BRILLIANT if you know you need to consume something and food feels too scary to manage, I like apple or pineapple as they're gentler on my stomach than orange). I'm finally starting to feel slightly hungry and may grab a piece of toast in a little bit. In the meantime, I'm tidying up the remains of my last couple of beading projects so that I can start thinking about designing a new one.
I know there'll be points today when the terror hits me like a brick again, and believe me when I say I'm going to be hovering here all day because all the wonderful, understanding people here are an absolute lifeline. But part of what I'm trying to do here is write through the experience and my coping strategies because I've been living with this for thirty years and I really want to try and help people who are new to this sort of nightmare.
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 09:58
Here's where I am at the moment.
I went to get my husband a glass of water; he's hot and achy but in reasonably good spirits and rationally, I have no reason to suspect he has anything other than flu. I've left him to get some more sleep and got my backside up off the sofa even if it only lasts as long as it takes my phone to charge (I get uneasy if it goes below 75% ;)).
Food still felt like too much so I had a small glass of pineapple juice (pro tip: juice is BRILLIANT if you know you need to consume something and food feels too scary to manage, I like apple or pineapple as they're gentler on my stomach than orange). I'm finally starting to feel slightly hungry and may grab a piece of toast in a little bit. In the meantime, I'm tidying up the remains of my last couple of beading projects so that I can start thinking about designing a new one.
I know there'll be points today when the terror hits me like a brick again, and believe me when I say I'm going to be hovering here all day because all the wonderful, understanding people here are an absolute lifeline. But part of what I'm trying to do here is write through the experience and my coping strategies because I've been living with this for thirty years and I really want to try and help people who are new to this sort of nightmare.
Beading is a good focus. Thank you for sharing and being honest it’s invaluable. Your such an amazing person than in a time when your feeling so rubbish you thought of how you could help others [emoji3590][emoji3590]
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I'm not amazing, honestly. Amazing wouldn't be me bugging my husband with my worries while he's sick. I'm really trying hard not to, though.
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 10:03
But Blue Iris - you are bugging him because you love him! You are so hard on yourself!! You are amazing and so thoughtful.
any tips would be grateful received though :roflmao:
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 10:04
By the way- I love the tip about juice!xxxx
Glad to help, Mrs. M, I've known about it since my teens. It's a really good halfway point between eating (really tough mid-panic) and not eating (does horrible things to your blood sugar and makes the panic worse).
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 10:43
So true- without food it makes things much worse. How are you now? X
Means the world. He's up now and I'm struggling to hold it together for fear there's something wrong, even though I know this is unlikely.
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 11:32
Argh what the brain does to us xxxxx
Yeah, I'm a total wreck right now, convinced I'm going to lose him.
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 11:47
Maybe it’ll help if you see my thinking process and then you can see what the brain does to us.
so I have had sickness for 2 weeks in a row- I have gone from thinking I am pregnant, to stomach cancer to thinking that my life is doomed because I have sickness all day every day. The sickness has now gone and at this stage I couldn’t care less what caused it- just happy it has gone.
now I have profusely sweating hands and feet, hot and cold flushes, a feeling of impending doom, and aches and pains. I have a cold too. My brain tells me this is not just a normal cold- but that I probably have fibromyalgia and that I am doomed to a life of eternal suffering. I haven’t thought about meningitis yet though. The past 2 weeks have just been exhausting. But you can see how the brain exaggerates. But it is hard for me today to shake the feeling that my life is doomed to be torture forever. However, ironically it’s this awful thought which is prolonging the feeling and making it more intense. It’s easy for us to see how other people are caught up by their brains and how wrong their thoughts are but it’s not easy to do yourself when you are in the thick of it. I am attempting to write a book about my experience as a sufferer but it is so hard to get another person to understand how you are feeling.
However, if you can give me some tips on seeing personal symptoms as minor annoyance rather than a tragedy? It’s like anxiety always has a back up plan- it sees you won’t be upset by physical symptoms so it worries you about your husband’s instead x
Hi BlueIris :hugs:
Sorry to hear you having a rough time.
Christmas and illness brings out the worst.
Firstly, I'm pretty sure your hubby doesn't have meningitis.
He would be extremely poorly if he did.
Secondly, remember Blue, what peaks, has to come down.
Do you have any chewing gum or sweets?
The constant chewing sends signals to the brain that you are consuming food, lessening the panic.
Another drink for feeling lightheaded is lucozade sport, replaces all those things we need when like this.
Thirdly, stay on here until you feel calmer. x
Thank you, Carnation and Mrs. M.
The panic got really severe so I went to bed for a cry, but Mr. Iris decided to come and join me. It was wonderful just talking and cuddling and that took the edge off the anxiety, not least because while he's a bit feverish he's clearly nowhere near as bad as I thought when I was too afraid to be near him.
I'm in bed next to him now, and in a bit we'll get up and I'll fix him some lunch. We talked about a lot of non-anxiety things and I'm feeling closer to him now than ever.
Carnation, I don't normally do sweets but I may pick up some dextrose tablets next time I'm out if the panic persists - I wasn't aware of that particular trick, so thank you.
I think that's very good tip from Mrs.C. What goes up must come down. Keep remembering that.
Also remember, this isn't your first attack. I know every one feels like the first, well it does to me, but you have 100% record of recovering from them. You will recover from this one.
Mr.B has a bug, there are literally loads about. Also the flu is doing the rounds. I deal with the public and I've never seen so many coughing, shivering wrecks.
Youve got this...:hugs:
Give yourself some credit BI. You recognize what's going on and by documenting, you're keeping reality and reason above panic and irrationality. That's light years ahead of "yeah but" and another list of symptoms.
Positive thoughts
Once again, I don't know what I'd do without all of you.
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 12:37
Cbt4panic is a really good resource when you are not great too xxxx
I'll take a look at that this afternoon, maybe. Broadly speaking I do know what I'm meant to be doing, it's just very hard to apply it when I go full panic.
I'm pleased to hear you settled a bit BlueIris :hugs:
My next tip was to have a good cry, because that's the natural way for the body to calm down.
Never feel alone, there's always one of us or even all of us around. x
Oh yes...it's all so easy when we are ok but it all goes out of the window in a panic. I sometimes say, if someone asked me my name I would struggle to remember it, let alone relaxation and acceptance stuff.
I just had something to eat, which has of course brought on some epic palpitations.
They don't scare me, but they're not especially comfortable either.
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 14:06
I just had something to eat, which has of course brought on some epic palpitations.
They don't scare me, but they're not especially comfortable either.
I get palpitations after I eat I always think it’s only me who has them after food but I’m never sure why food triggers them. Deep breathing helps me when this happens or peppermint tea xx
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Thanks. I had some lunch, and I'm going to grab a hot drink in a bit.
How are you doing?
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 14:20
Thanks. I had some lunch, and I'm going to grab a hot drink in a bit.
How are you doing?
Not feeling great just escaped to the bathroom fed the old people and trying to stop thinking I’m dizzy all the time. I don’t know why I feel like that or if I’m making myself feel like that because I keep thinking I’m dizzy if that makes sense?
Going to try to head to the supermarket though every part of me wants to avoid it
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Go, and buy yourself a treat while you're there (I don't care if you're a grown woman, Lego is great for this sort of thing).
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 14:23
Go, and buy yourself a treat while you're there (I don't care if you're a grown woman, Lego is great for this sort of thing).
Ha ha love it! Never bought myself Lego before used to buy crayons and felttips ill have a gander at what games they have mum said she wanted us to play a game xx
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Perfect! Most of my main gift this year was Lego. I basically have a small city street plus various geeky builds like the TARDIS and the Yellow Submarine.
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 14:35
Perfect! Most of my main gift this year was Lego. I basically have a small city street plus various geeky builds like the TARDIS and the Yellow Submarine.
Love it!
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Urgh. Lunch has just returned from whence it came. Glad I'm not emetophobic, at least.
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 14:56
You sound a lot brighter Blue Iris - great news. What would you say is what you do to make you feel better xxxx
It's mostly just acceptance; I have all the horrible bodily sensations, but I don't feel particularly afraid. I know I just have to be kind to myself and wait it out.
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 16:05
That gives me hope- thanks Blue Iris! So basically accepting all the symptoms and carrying on with life x
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 16:06
If you need anything today - please let me know xxxx
I will do, thank you. I've had a nap and I'm going to think about having a hot sweet drink in a bit.
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 16:52
Great stuff. How long does it usually last when you get this? X
A few days to a couple of weeks, but the citalopram helps.
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 16:58
A few days to a couple of weeks, but the citalopram helps.
Hugs xx I’m not emetaphobic either sorry your were sick [emoji3525][emoji3525]
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Need to eat some dinner today but I'm not sure what.
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 17:09
Need to eat some dinner today but I'm not sure what.
What do you like and what are the options
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I'm normally not fussy, but even water's giving me violent stomach cramps today.
Phoenixess
26-12-19, 17:25
I'm normally not fussy, but even water's giving me violent stomach cramps today.
[emoji3525] keep it light perhaps but tasty xx
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Yeah, might just go for toast and marmite.
Mrsmitchell1984
26-12-19, 18:45
A few days to a couple of weeks, but the citalopram helps.
Good to hear that it is short lived xxxx
Okay, apparently it's not just anxiety, also gastroenteritis. Ow.
Mrsmitchell1984
27-12-19, 06:12
Okay, apparently it's not just anxiety, also gastroenteritis. Ow.
oh no- you poor thing. I hope you manage to have a few days just resting xxxx
I’d be interested to know what country has higher rates of IBS, the U.K., Australia or the US?
Mrsmitchell1984
27-12-19, 08:38
I know a lot of people struggle with the full extent of how physically awful anxiety can make you feel, and I know that many here worry about the bodily sensations they feel.
Unfortunately, I'm in the middle of one of my rare, full-on panic attacks right now, but I figured I could take advantage of this to document everything I'm feeling and demonstrate what anxiety can do to a body.
So, here's what I'm dealing with right now:
* Diarrhoea. Approximately every 20 minutes I'm running to the bathroom with explosive, watery diarrhoea.
* Nausea. This is so violent my throat closes up at the thought of even sipping water. Normally breakfast is my reason to get up in the morning, but right now I can't imagine eating at all. Haven't vomited yet but based on experience it's probably going to happen shortly.
* Headache. Mild but very persistent.
* Chills/Tingling. Skin keeps flashing hot and cold.
* Feeling clammy.
* Aches. Presumably from tight muscles.
* Clumsiness. Keep bumping into things and tripping up my own feet.
* Brain fog. Can't think clearly or focus.
* Exhaustion. Can't sleep but keep dozing off and waking into terror.
ALL OF THIS IS CAUSED BY ANXIETY.
It's awful, but there's nothing more sinister going on.
(Really wish I had a GP who'd give me valium for the really bad ones like this, though!)
Did you find that documenting this made you detach yourself from it a bit x
Morning BlueIris,
The one thing about gastroenteritis is it will fade and eventually go away. Anxiety is far more stubborn than that.
But coupled together it can get quite confusing as to which is which and we tend to blame everything on anxiety.
So, you know what to do now. Take things easy, eat light, plenty of fluids, take naps and wait for it to pass.
You might find your anxiety sits more into the background while you deal with your illness and now you know what it is. Or you might do as we all do and blame everything on anxiety. Either way, some tlc sounds like a good idea. x
Mrsmitchell1984
27-12-19, 09:13
Absolutely, yes.
Brilliant- well done x
Mrsmitchell1984
27-12-19, 09:15
Morning BlueIris,
The one thing about gastroenteritis is it will fade and eventually go away. Anxiety is far more stubborn than that.
But coupled together it can get quite confusing as to which is which and we tend to blame everything on anxiety.
So, you know what to do now. Take things easy, eat light, plenty of fluids, take naps and wait for it to pass.
You might find your anxiety sits more into the background while you deal with your illness and now you know what it is. Or you might do as we all do and blame everything on anxiety. Either way, some tlc sounds like a good idea. x
I definitely hear that Carnation - as I was going through the same. Blue, it helped me to think whether it was anxiety or gastro- it was going to go. And as Mrs C says- TLC is good either way xxxx
How are you feeling today BlueIris? x
Still got a very crampy stomach, but I think the actual infection has probably passed, thanks for asking. Currently eating marmite toast and hoping it'll mostly stay put.
Poor Mr. Iris now has all the gastro symptoms, so I don't know whether he got my crud following his own, or whether mine just manifested differently.
Oh bless BlueIris. :hugs:
Wishing you both better. xx
Phoenixess
28-12-19, 17:10
Still got a very crampy stomach, but I think the actual infection has probably passed, thanks for asking. Currently eating marmite toast and hoping it'll mostly stay put.
Poor Mr. Iris now has all the gastro symptoms, so I don't know whether he got my crud following his own, or whether mine just manifested differently.
Get well soon beautiful xx
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Really sorry, just need to go mental here for a little bit.
Mr Iris and I were recovering nicely from the food poisoning, at which point his flu recurred. I offered to make us veggie soup, and he requested his favourite, which unfortunately tends to do awful things to my guts at the best of times.
Nevertheless, I didn't have the heart to say no.
I've been up and down all night, almost back to square one, so I wanted to make a quick supermarket trip to pick some things up I know I can enjoy safely. I knew it'd be risky but headed out anyway, only to give it up as probably a bad idea when the cramps and nausea hit after 20 minutes of waiting for a bus.
Got in to a very sympathetic Mr. Iris who nevertheless wanted me to fetch him a glass of water. At this point I'm worried about him, worried about me, feeling physically crap and (guiltily) vaguely resentful.
Have come to the couch to have a bit of a cry because I'm tired and fragile and I suspect that's what's making the gut problems worse. Honestly, I know it makes me an ass but I could really do with a day or two of not having to deal with stuff.
Hi BlueIris :flowers:
I think you already realised trying to make that trip so soon after being ill would have been a challenge in more ways than one.
But I fully understand that you need to get provisions.
Is there someone that can get a few things on for you or can you order online?
Unfortunately we never plan when we are going to be ill and we are never prepared for it.
Anxiety likes to jump on the band wagon making you result in heading for the sofa.
It's not a permanent state BlueIris and you are both getting better, it's just a miserable time for you at the moment that will be over soon. x
Thanks, Carnation.
Honestly, we've got a well-stocked freezer and a corner shop across the road for essentials, I just had a stir crazy moment and convinced myself everything would be better if I could pick up oat milk and have dairy free porridge. I'm severely sleep deprived and not really my best and most rational self right now ;) I have plenty of fun ways to occupy myself within the house, too.
Still on the sofa because I want some background noise while I nap and browse my phone.
Oh that's good BlueIris. :yesyes:
Yeah, we all do things like that thinking we are Superwoman :winks:
Exactly, it's the feeling that you can magically fix everything if only you push yourself hard enough.
Mrsmitchell1984
30-12-19, 10:12
Wishing you a good day today Blue. Sounds like you have lots of fun things to do today xxxx
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