Mixed up my SILs at Christmas - back in health anxiety spiral

[carriewriting]

So I have been seeing an health anxiety specialist and have been a lot better, but since Christmas Day I have been spiralling.

I was busy doing prep for my family's meal so was late arriving to the in laws for lunch. It was very hot and some of the family were sitting outside when I arrived. I said hi to my two BILs and my nephew. Then I hugged my SIL who I have only met a few times and chatted with her for a few minutes. But then I had a horrible moment where I realised she wasn't the SIL I thought she was. She didn't realise as I didn't call her the wrong name or anything, but I felt sick. She was with my BIL, her husband, so I should have realised who she was.

I have two SILs who are originally from the U.K and I've only met them in person a few times each. They live in different cities. They aren't related and don't actually look alike when you look closely, but they have the same strong Northern accent, similar builds, prominent eyes and both have long dark hair.

The mix up has been nagging at me for days and last night something happened and I had a full on panic about this being dementia - even though I can't find anything about mixing someone up being anything to do with dementia on damn Google. I couldn't sleep and did several dementia online tests (all normal), but I still can't let it go. I am 49 and perimenopausal. It's been a stressful time here lately with weeks of smoke from the bushfires affecting the air quality badly where I live and my Dad being diagnosed with cancer, but I was managing okay until this happened.

I keep telling myself it's just brain fog but I can't find any examples of this happening to anyone else which is why I'm so worried :weep:.

[Carys]

I am 51 and very peri, and do this type of thing all the time. I mix up childrens' names in the family, get the wrong facts for the wrong people and feel a general brain fog and confusion on bad days. I've mixed up people just as you have, other halves of people and even had to worm my way out of the mix up by making excuses about being really tired or something similar etc. On good days I'm my usual 'spot on' self. Its tiredness, some stress and everything a bit out of context (your family members you don't know well all together) The point was - you got to the right person and realised the error, and people with dementia don't get to that point ! Don't let it nag at you, this really happens a lot to women at our stage in life, its nothing important and as you managed to cover it up and didn't give the mistake away - remember - other people manage that too. Don't imagine you are the only one this is happening to just because you don't see the evidence of others :winks:

[Sparky16]

It's easy to mix up people you don't see often in those circumstances. We just had a reunion of extended family at the beginning of December, and keeping track of who is married to who when you don't see these people often is hard. Plus you have a lot on your mind and are somewhat distracted. Carys is totally right.

[carriewriting]

Thank you Carys. I am feeling a little calmer after some sleep and more convinced this was a menopause moment :blush: I really appreciate your reply.

[carriewriting]

Thanks Sparky. It's frustrating and scary but a fact of this time of life I guess.

[sfm]

Hey, I hope you're feeling better.

I just wanted to mention that I did this *exact* thing with two different sets of coworkers. One was a nurse that I thought was another nurse-I didn't just mix up names; I completely mixed up people, like you! But, like you, neither of these women are people I know well. I am a teacher, and I was half time last year when one of these gals was a part time nurse (the other one is brand new this year). So, my busy, anxiety addled brain just went on a mental vacation. Once Nurse Molly said, "I'm not Susan, I'm Molly," I immediately realized my mistake. I was super embarrassed and obsessed about it, of course.

I also confused a volunteer I don't know at all with a psychologist I see a couple times a month. That one was probably also related to not having my glasses on!

I could also give you a bunch of examples of how I've muddled up my words and forgotten things recently.

But I also know that nearly all people have little blips like this and don't think a thing of it. My husband is constantly forgetting things I've told him, and he isn't bothered by it at all!

I also know that I'm good at my job, I'm not forgetting appointments or dates, and I've had episodes like this before that turned out to be nothing (well, likely anxiety). About four years ago I lost an important key, and I turned everywhere I could think of upside down looking for it. I later found it, and the moment I found it I remembered that I had decided that was going to be where I kept it (too bad it took me six months to remember that-lol). Anyway, my point is that was years ago, and I haven't had to be put into any kind of care center yet. I think we anxious people really tend to underestimate the effect that anxiety and business have on our brains.

Anyway, just wanted to share that I have had a very similar experience to yours. Hope you're having a great 2020 so far.

[jules321]

This sadly happens to me all the time too, and I'm in peri. It triggers my HA too (I often mix up words these days), but I think it's just normal aging... not to mention brain fog with everything else you have going on.

I'm so so sorry re the fires in your area. I hope you are doing ok, and your country is deep in my heart and thoughts.

[Pkstracy]

yay Peri brain fog I am 46 and going through this. Look up the 35 symptoms of peri. look at number 13

http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml



Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#hot_flashes))
Irregular heart beat
Irritability
Mood swings, sudden tears
Trouble sleeping through the night (with or without night sweats)
Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter cycles, longer cycles
Loss of libido (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#libido))
Dry vagina (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#dry_vagina))
Crashing fatigue
Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#doom))
Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
Disturbing memory lapses
Incontinence, especially upon sneezing, laughing; urge incontinence (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#incontinence))
Itchy, crawly skin (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#itchy_crawly))
Aching, sore joints, muscles and tendons (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#aching))
Increased tension in muscles
Breast tenderness
Headache change: increase or decrease
Gastrointestinal distress, indigestion, flatulence, gas pain, nausea
Sudden bouts of bloat
Depression (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#depression))
Exacerbation of existing conditions
Increase in allergies
Weight gain (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#weight))
Hair loss or thinning, head, pubic, or whole body; increase in facial hair
Dizziness, light-headedness, episodes of loss of balance
Changes in body odor
Electric shock sensation under the skin and in the head (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#shock))
Tingling in the extremities (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#tingling))
Gum problems, increased bleeding ( this is actually rare. My note that I found on another web site)
Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
Osteoporosis (after several years)
Changes in fingernails: softer, crack or break easier
Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, 'whooshing,' buzzing etc. (see note (http://www.project-aware.org/Experience/symptoms.shtml#tinnitus))