UserName20
30-12-19, 03:29
It's like I can be fine and symptom free for up to two months at a time. Then a symptom will come and will just set me off and send me spiraling. As I am some may know from my previous posts, I ended up in the ER over the summer one night. I felt cold and just got panicked from there. My heart was racing and I just up and decided I was going straight to the ER at 2 in the morning without waking my parents. (I'm 19, so I am a legal adult my parents would have just wanted to know.). I went through a horrible time after that with chest/heart worries. I thought for sure I was dying. So I got on medication. Eventually I was able to relax about the entire thing and the symptoms went away. It was probably about October. I think I started the medication in the end of July or beginning of August. And then in October I ran out of my medicine. At this point I felt absolutely fine and worry free. So I figured to take myself off of my medicine. ( I know you are supposed to wing yourself off ).
And then a couple of weeks ago I started getting those sensations back in my chest and so I freaked out and assumed the worst and went back to urgent care. They once again told me they do not have a reason to believe this is heart related and reminded me that my EKG's have been fine in the past. The doctor there told me I need to get back on my medication because I need it at this point in my life. I thought I was doing so well though... I truly thought I had "beat" the health anxiety. And now that feeling in my chest has mostly went away. Now I am just worried about my heart again though. My blood pressure is always high when I go to the doctor, my heart rate is always up to 110 or so. They told me it could just be since I'm at the doctor, but I do not think so. I am just confused I guess. It's like sometimes I have a hard time believing that I have anxiety because I can go a month or two and feel okay. Then it hits me out of nowhere. Something sets me off. Today something happened in our bathroom and there was as my parents called it "a sewer gas smell." They opened the window and poured hot water down the drain or something but now I am terrified to even be in the house. I am scared this gas is still in the house and will do something to me. The smell from the bathroom never travelled anywhere else in the house and the smell is gone in there, but now I am scared and feel like my eyes burn? I'm scared to sleep and breathe something in. I used the water from the sink in the kitchen to clean my cup before drinking out of it and now I am scared I will get Ill. I just want to be able to live my life without worrying constantly.
And then a couple of weeks ago I started getting those sensations back in my chest and so I freaked out and assumed the worst and went back to urgent care. They once again told me they do not have a reason to believe this is heart related and reminded me that my EKG's have been fine in the past. The doctor there told me I need to get back on my medication because I need it at this point in my life. I thought I was doing so well though... I truly thought I had "beat" the health anxiety. And now that feeling in my chest has mostly went away. Now I am just worried about my heart again though. My blood pressure is always high when I go to the doctor, my heart rate is always up to 110 or so. They told me it could just be since I'm at the doctor, but I do not think so. I am just confused I guess. It's like sometimes I have a hard time believing that I have anxiety because I can go a month or two and feel okay. Then it hits me out of nowhere. Something sets me off. Today something happened in our bathroom and there was as my parents called it "a sewer gas smell." They opened the window and poured hot water down the drain or something but now I am terrified to even be in the house. I am scared this gas is still in the house and will do something to me. The smell from the bathroom never travelled anywhere else in the house and the smell is gone in there, but now I am scared and feel like my eyes burn? I'm scared to sleep and breathe something in. I used the water from the sink in the kitchen to clean my cup before drinking out of it and now I am scared I will get Ill. I just want to be able to live my life without worrying constantly.