Feeling so defeated

[ErinKC]

I'm in a shitty place right now. These fibroids are causing a lot of uncomfortable symptoms, the newest of which is horrible, constant reflux. I know stressing about it doesn't help, but it's just so bad.

I'm feeling really, really down. I feel like I'm in a trap because my only options are feel like shit or have surgery. I feel let down by doctors who I trusted to help me keep track of these and then ignored all my concerns even when they knew the fibroids had grown (but didn't tell me). I feel like I also let myself down because of my anxiety. If I had dealt with them in the summer when I first found out they'd grown I could have been done and moved on.

I have an appointment with my gyn on the 7th and a surgeon (the same one who did my emergency fibroid surgery in 2011) on the 14th. I'm just debating if I should call my primary and try to see her today about the reflux and other pain.

I'm sad. I don't know how to pull myself out of this. I don't typically get depressed, but that's how I'm feeling. I'm due to go back to school on the 13th and so worried I won't be able to handle it.

My daughter goes back to school on Thursday and I'm dreading having to get up and bring her. I haven't felt this down in a long time.

[Scass]

Oh Erin I can feel the sadness.
It’s really good that you have some plans in place to deal with the fibroids. Hopefully you’ll have some answers soon and you can continue to move forward.

Although the worry probably doesn’t help the reflux, you do have an actual medical condition that is contributing too. So don’t blame yourself for something out of your control. Best thing is to eat things that aren’t too fatty, spicy or filling for a few days in the hope it calms down.

And I hope getting it off your chest helped a bit. Xx

[ErinKC]

Thanks for always being there, Scass. I'm feeling scared about life started back up again next week but I'm hoping that it actually helps me. I've been home for so long with my daughter sick and then holidays, I know that's not helping.

[Scass]

It doesn’t help at all, we get in such a cosy rut that going back to reality is a bit of a shock. Not a bad one though, it’ll do us all good to get back in routine again hopefully x