back pain everywhere today

[always scared]

my left side mid back pain has turned into pain everywhere. It now hurts in the upper stomach area under my ribs . I'm having pelvic pain on the right side in the front and back I'm also having lower left sided back pain by my kidney. I'm terrified to go to the washroom incase I see blood How did it get this bad in 2 days. 3 days ago I had a toothache and very sore throat and I was worried about throat cancer and here I am 2 days later with no sore throat and pain all over my back.

[BlueIris]

I think your anxiety is (understandably) making you hypervigilant.

[always scared]

I've gone back in my archives to read past post about my back pains. The first time I posted about pc fears was in early may. I had the same vague pains since then on and off. They really haven't gotten worse but they are STill There!!!

[BlueIris]

Yeah, if that was pancreatic cancer you'd likely be dead by now even with treatment. Rest easy.

[StephA]

You would’ve known if you had PC by now. How is your husband holding up? Not trying to downplay your fear but he’s actually had a diagnosis, so I was just wondering how he is right now? Maybe trying to just be there for him and focus on what he needs right now could take your mind off you for a bit. Just a thought!

[always scared]

I feel like a walking corpse. Can't eat or drink. I need to be taking my antibiotics for my tooth infection and I can't start my celexa until after my antibiotics are done. The ativan just calms me for a bit but the uneasy fear of death is still there. This isn't living anymore . I'm the walking dead. I'm thinking this my be worse than death. If I didn't have children depending on me I wouldn't be here.

Wow isn't the effed up thinking from a person scared of dying. I don't think I will every recovery from this nightmare.

[BlueIris]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M&t=6s

[always scared]

You would’ve known if you had PC by now. How is your husband holding up? Not trying to downplay your fear but he’s actually had a diagnosis, so I was just wondering how he is right now? Maybe trying to just be there for him and focus on what he needs right now could take your mind off you for a bit. Just a thought!

I'm trying real hard to be there for him and I am. He doesn't know about all my breakdowns and panic attacks I'm having. The problem is his symptoms are so similar to what I've been having and worrying about for months. He never worries and here we are.

[always scared]

Heading out to see the doctor now

[StephA]

I think you need to talk to a professional (maybe a crises hotline like previously mentioned), because based on what you said it sounds like you’ve had thoughts of ending your life. You are so focused on your fear of dying that you can’t even take care of your husband and children and they need you right now. I know it sounds harsh but you didn’t even answer my question. You said he never worries, so does that mean he’s handling his news well? Have you even talked to him about what he’s feeling right now? You do not have cancer! He does so you need to focus on him right now. I know you said you’re trying but you’re so obsessed with yourself right now that you’re not able to help him. I agree with Blueiris that you are just hyper aware of your aches right now. It’s very common for hypo’s to think they’re dying when someone gets an actual medical diagnosis, but like someone else said in a different thread, you would be a text book case if both of you were diagnosed with the exact same thing. Just trying to get you to think rationally.

[BlueIris]

I'm sorry if my previous post came across as cruel. At the same time, though, you need to acknowledge that you're not thinking rationally right now and start taking steps to remedy that.

[Carys]

How did the doctor visit go ? (I've also left a reply on your other thread about your husband)

[Inanna]

Hi

Everything you have written here, could have been written by me, so my heart goes out to you, on top of your husband’s situation. I have upper abdominal pain, which I am convinced is PC. It seems everywhere... left flank, kidney are, abdo, even my left armpit hurts. I am also getting sharp shooting pains at the base of my breast,

I too know that Without the thought of my kids, I would be looking for a way out of this torture. The irony doesn’t escape me either.

I don’t have any answers, I just wanted you to know you are not the only one feeling this terror.

sending you a virtual hug


Inanna xx