Anxiety over commitment - is this normal??

[yeppy]

Hi everyone just looking for some advice really!!! i've been suffering from anxiety and panic for about 2 years now and have had various symtoms. The ones that bother me most though arent the physical (although these are horrible) but the way the anxiety messes with your head!

My big anxiety of this year has been to do with my boyfriend. When i'm feeling 'normal' i love him to bits and never want to be without him. We get on brilliantly and are really happy. But every couple of months as if from no where i start getting servere anxiety and question my feelings for him. it feels so real that i'm convinced it means i dont love him. The last time it happened was in June around the time of my brothers wedding. i get servere anxiety and stress about these type of social events anyway so obviously didnt help but it just made me panic thinking that i really couldnt do this with my boyfriend.

A few weeks later i got over it all and since then we have been really happy and even talking about moving in together at the end of the year. we've been really excited planning this and looking at places etc until last week my anxiety kicked in. i started getting scared thinking about it wondering whether i loved him and if it was the right thing. it feels so real and scary that i look at him and its as if i really feel i dont love him. But how can this be when only a week ago i was so in love and excited??? Do you think this is a normal thing to get anxious about or do you think my brain is trying to tell me something??? I really dont want to lose him or fall out of love with him as i will be devestated but the fear that this is happening feels so real! Can anyone relate to this? Going on my friends hen night at the weekend didnt help as she seems so excited and relaxed about her wedding. if it was me i'd be so scared so maybe this is a sign he isnt right and my thoughts are real and not just the anxiety playing tricks on me?? Sorry for rambling on!!!

[Greatdane]

Hi there,

I do suffer from same horrible thoughts. I must say its the most difficult thing I have to go through. You are lucky if it does happen so rarely with me it happens so often that I dont know anything anymore. However to come to the point when i felmy anxiety is very high especially if we are together i immediately attachm my anxiety to my partner and think that i feel this way because I am not in love. However when my anxiety comeback down and feel normal i know my felings. Its hard babay i know but try to rememeber when you are anxious that maybe you are tired and need a rest also dont be afraid to say you are tired your partner will understand. relabel that thought callenge it and call it tiredness or what ever feel comfortable for you. If you want to chat more i am free to help. Message me.

[confusedrob]

I understand completely what you are both saying.

I was married to an amazing girl, but when my anxiety was bad i would attach it to her. I used to think i didn't want to be married, that i wanted to travel, or move abroad etc. When i didn't have anxiety i felt perfectly happy, but i did so much damage that she left me in the end.

I ended up not knowing what i really felt and what was the anxiety. Now i get terrible anxiety attacks when i think of her with her new partner and regret listening to my anxiety so often.

Please be careful, if you get the physical symptoms of anxiety when you get the thoughts, ignore them because they are not real.