buginarug
01-10-07, 13:42
Hi my name is Lizzie and i am 17. It feels quite strange coming on here since i kind of feel like my problems arent half as bad as most of the people here. I have always been quite an nervous and anxious person especially when it comes to embarassment and travel. I don't think i have actually had proper panic attacks but i have been warned by my dad (who has had his own experiences) that if i let my nervousness and anxiety multiply things will keep going downhill.
Nothing major has really been happening until a few months ago. It was my 17th birthday and my boyfriend had secretly arranged a trip to london to see a stage show of a film i love. I didnt really think about the trip until the day we were meant to be going. I felt nervous the morning we were going to set off but i dismissed it as normal excited worrying. Then everything was fine until we got into the coach station. I started feeling quite clammy, closed in and had trouble focusing on things around me. But i managed to brush this off my distracting myself. I started to feel really anxious as we were getting onto the coach and finding some seats. I sat there for about five minutes worrying about travelling then gave in and had to get off the coach. All i could think was "i dont want to be here. i feel really uncomfortable. i must get off and get my mum." So me and my boyfriend got off the bus and i sat in the station in tears while i waited for my mum. As soon as she was there i felt safe.
The second time was to do with traveling too. We were all set to go on a family holiday in cornwal and the day we were set to travel kind of snuck up on me as it had done with the trip to london. I didnt really know why i was worried about going on holiday but i couldnt get myself to get into the car and instead sat in the bathroom crying to my mum that i didnt want to go. I did end up going on holiday but only because my mum almost dragged me into the car.
My problems have been worse lately though. Again i was all set to go on a trip, this time only to a close by theme park on a school reward trip. As soon as i got to school where we were meant to get on the busses i felt sick, light headed and felt i needed the loo. I tried distracting myself and thinking that everything will be fine and that ive been before so there is nothing to worry about but i got so fed up of trying to convince myself to go and feeling worried that i just went home instead. And now because that incident happened at school i have assosiated those feelings with school and have been unable to go out of the door for school for the past three weeks apart from 3 days where my mum has taken me in the car and helped me calm down. My other worries about school are about embarassment. i worry that im not as clever as other people and keep quiet in lessons instead of contributing in fear of being wrong. I also have a strange dislike of using public toilets if other people know im there so i tend to be uncomfortable most of the day.
Since i havent been at school the work i need to catch up on has been bogging me down and making me worry even more. I have recently been given beta-blockers on the smallest dosage avaliable (10mg- two tablets 3 times a day when needed) but they dont seem to be helping so i am due to see the doctor again later this week. The first time i went to see the doctor was after i couldnt go on the school trip and i was told that im a a funny age when it came to getting someone to talk to and to help me because i dont fit in the children to 16 group or the 18+ groups...i dont know if this is true or if he just thought "ah she's just a bit anxious give her some low dosage beta-blockers and she's be fine."
Like i said i dont really feel like my problems are very significant after reading about other people's problems and even that makes me worry about posting this incase everyone thinks im a stupid teen with no real problems that just wants to complain when other people are really in need. But thanks for listening anyway.
Thanks, Lizzie.:blush:
PS sorry its soo long
Nothing major has really been happening until a few months ago. It was my 17th birthday and my boyfriend had secretly arranged a trip to london to see a stage show of a film i love. I didnt really think about the trip until the day we were meant to be going. I felt nervous the morning we were going to set off but i dismissed it as normal excited worrying. Then everything was fine until we got into the coach station. I started feeling quite clammy, closed in and had trouble focusing on things around me. But i managed to brush this off my distracting myself. I started to feel really anxious as we were getting onto the coach and finding some seats. I sat there for about five minutes worrying about travelling then gave in and had to get off the coach. All i could think was "i dont want to be here. i feel really uncomfortable. i must get off and get my mum." So me and my boyfriend got off the bus and i sat in the station in tears while i waited for my mum. As soon as she was there i felt safe.
The second time was to do with traveling too. We were all set to go on a family holiday in cornwal and the day we were set to travel kind of snuck up on me as it had done with the trip to london. I didnt really know why i was worried about going on holiday but i couldnt get myself to get into the car and instead sat in the bathroom crying to my mum that i didnt want to go. I did end up going on holiday but only because my mum almost dragged me into the car.
My problems have been worse lately though. Again i was all set to go on a trip, this time only to a close by theme park on a school reward trip. As soon as i got to school where we were meant to get on the busses i felt sick, light headed and felt i needed the loo. I tried distracting myself and thinking that everything will be fine and that ive been before so there is nothing to worry about but i got so fed up of trying to convince myself to go and feeling worried that i just went home instead. And now because that incident happened at school i have assosiated those feelings with school and have been unable to go out of the door for school for the past three weeks apart from 3 days where my mum has taken me in the car and helped me calm down. My other worries about school are about embarassment. i worry that im not as clever as other people and keep quiet in lessons instead of contributing in fear of being wrong. I also have a strange dislike of using public toilets if other people know im there so i tend to be uncomfortable most of the day.
Since i havent been at school the work i need to catch up on has been bogging me down and making me worry even more. I have recently been given beta-blockers on the smallest dosage avaliable (10mg- two tablets 3 times a day when needed) but they dont seem to be helping so i am due to see the doctor again later this week. The first time i went to see the doctor was after i couldnt go on the school trip and i was told that im a a funny age when it came to getting someone to talk to and to help me because i dont fit in the children to 16 group or the 18+ groups...i dont know if this is true or if he just thought "ah she's just a bit anxious give her some low dosage beta-blockers and she's be fine."
Like i said i dont really feel like my problems are very significant after reading about other people's problems and even that makes me worry about posting this incase everyone thinks im a stupid teen with no real problems that just wants to complain when other people are really in need. But thanks for listening anyway.
Thanks, Lizzie.:blush:
PS sorry its soo long