Fear of SFI Consuming Me

[Rennles]

I know it's irrational, I know it's incredibly rare, but for some reason this fear is taking over my life. I've had bouts of insomnia before which were always resolved with positive thinking, etc. But this time just feels different. It started at the beginning of the month. My husband was starting a new night schedule which meant that I wouldn't be able to rely on him after work and would be alone all night. I dreaded it so much that I couldn't sleep in the days leading up to it. Oddly enough, I slept perfectly fine the first night of the new schedule, but then my sleep seemed to get worse by the night. I should add that I was drinking wine to help me fall asleep and would be able to sleep for 2-3 hours, wake up, and fall back asleep again no problem. Gradually I became less and less able to fall back asleep. I've seen almost every sunrise this month. Last night I got no sleep at all. I'm desperately afraid that I'm going to die from this. I have two young kids that need me and dying from fatal insomnia is all I can think about.

[BlueIris]

You're not going to die from it. You have far more chance of dying in your own kitchen. Also, and I'm really sorry to say this, your kids don't need a parent with crippling anxiety, because this is the sort of thing that can do them serious psychological harm.

Please look into getting yourself some help?

[Rennles]

I am seeing my doctor in an hour to see what they can do for me, perhaps it is time to get on some kind of anxiety medication. I hate how health anxiety causes the most irrational "what-if" thoughts. Although I logically know that I won't die of the disease, my mind won't let it go. I just don't understand why I went from sleeping perfectly fine to worse and worse and it has become scary after 3 weeks..

[BlueIris]

Because bodies are weird and they're influenced by the strangest and most unlikely things, and once stress gets a toehold things tend to only get worse.

I really hope this goes well for you and that you can find your way back to the light.