Some achievement somewhere!!

[animal-mad-nikk]

I wasnt going to post this but I got presused by someone and they know who it was..Dont you TRAC!!!!!!!!! :)

Well...5 weeks ago I started college on an animal care course 3 days a week to see if it would help me and just get out the house and do something I want to do.

These weeks have been ok...only had one bad moment but it got sorted and I have been all 3 days and only came home once as I wasnt too good but still went back the next day and managed to last. I know I do spend while Im there texting people but it makes me feel safe and know that someone is there for me when I need it. I wont mention names incase they dont like it.
I built up the courage in the first week to talk to my tutor about a couple of things and too make her aware of somethings which helped me..then she referrred me for counselling as I was getting down quite abit and crying no matter what etc etc..

Then today I had my first counselling session, I was 3$&%ting myself as some people will know I.E Trac... who spoke to me last night and reassurred me to go. So on the way to college I panicked and panicked and texted Trac and some others to distract myself which helped. I got a message as I went to my class saying they had to change the time to 30 mins later which gave me extra time to worry about going...

.....TIME MOVES ON.........

Adventually, my time has come to go..I slowly walk to the place where I had to go to ensure I was calm before going. Which helped me. I go tot the reception and had to fill in a form as it was my first time there. I waited and waited and went in...I felt safe and ok to talk so I told about some painful things then ended up crying as it was a realease for me. Which was good. I finished WITHOUT having a panic attack and just slowly took the time to say things. Made another apptpointment for next week.
I took time out for a bit to calm and just get over feeling drained from it and get back to the lesson and I coped the rest of the day without having to go home from anything.


Hope your happy now I posted this TRAC as it is some achievement for me to go to college and taking the step forward to get help. :shrug:

Thanks all thats there for me while I'm at college and when Im back xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :yesyes:
Tc xx
Nikk xxx:flowers:

[trac67]

LOL im very happy you posted this :yesyes:

You achieved a lot today by facing your fear of going for your appointment, and I am very proud that you did, as the weeks go by it will begin to get easier and easier and you wont be so nervous each time.
This is the start of your journey to feeling so much better about yourself hon.

A BIG WELL DONE and add to this thread after every appointment so we can see how well its going for you.

Loads a love

Trac xxxx

[Southern_Belle]

Nikk,

I'm so proud of you I could just bust. :bighug1: for going to college and more :hugs: :hugs: for going to counseling. I think both will do you more good than you will ever know. I'm so happy you have friends you can text and call to help get you through the trying times when you need support. :yesyes: . Honest, I couldn't be happier for you.

Love,

Laura

[mystics]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: WELL DONE NIKK:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

As trac says try and post every week so you can see how things are improving for yourself :yesyes: :yesyes:

Well done again Nikk so proud of you

Brightest Angel Blessings
Mystics :flowers:

[Gabby]

You know how proud i am of you but wanted to post it here so that everyone else could see it too!!!

You have done amazingly well and have had so much guts to get up every day and get that backside of yours to college! (well three days a week anyway :) )

I am absolutely over the moon that you went to your session - uve done great sweetie. keep it up! :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

G xx

[Fraggle]

:hugs: :hugs: WELL DONE NIKK:hugs: :hugs:

We all knew you could do it :) WTG me little chav :)

Keep up the good work u know we're always here for you :)

XXX Frags

[lorac]

Well done Nikk you've made a great start keep going you will get there

xxxx Carol

[jodie]

well done nikk
:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

jodie xx

[Believe]

Nikki


Well done. I am so proud of you. We are all here for you, but you did it.:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
As the others have said, it will get easier over the course of the weeks. Hang in there and keep going. You can do this Nikk.


Take Care
Believe


I Believe That IN Time We All Will Get Better.

[Nibbles]

That's excellent new Nikk and you've got two big achievements there so well done. :yesyes: I'm so pleased that college is going better and as Trac says, the counselling will get easier each time.


http://i189.photobucket.com/albums/z187/julieophoto/Welldone.gif

Take care,

Mike :)

[Coni]

Nikk, that is absolutely fantastic!!!
I'm so pleased for you....what massive achievements!!!
And its great that you've posted in success....Trac was right to 'encourage' you lol!
Well done Nikk...cant tell you how pleased I am for you!!!
luv Coni XX:hugs: :hugs: :yesyes:

[Lozzie]

Well done Nikk!!!!
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Very proud of you hun ur doing so well! :) :hugs: :hugs:
Always here if u need a chat! :hugs:

take care
Laura xxxxxx:flowers:

[margaret911]

I think you have done fantastic Nikk, you should be so proud of yourself and I am so glad you posted. Well done love.

love Mags xxxxxx

[bottleblond]

Nikk, well done sweety! your doing great!!!

proud of ye lass
love Lisa
xxxxxxxxx

[kazzie]

WOW Nikk:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

A huge WELL DONE:yesyes:

Luv Kaz x x x:hugs:

[honeybee3939]

Gosh Nikki !!:yesyes:

Lots of great achievements, sounds like you are making some excellent steps forward !!:yesyes: You keep at it hun, your doing just great !:yesyes:

WELL DONE !!!:flowers:

Love
:hugs:
Andrea
xxxx

[bearcrazy]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((NIKK))))))))))))))))))) ))))))

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :yesyes:

Well Done Nikk, You should be so proud of yourself, because YOU did it, and I know how hard it was for you. I'll always be here for you, TC xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :yesyes:

[animal-mad-nikk]

Thank you sooooo much everyone, I didnt realise I would make a success like that but it is also down to the help of everyone I talk too. I cry in reading my own post and all the really nice comment from people. THANK YOU, you all mean sooo much to me.

Well..... Yet again I have been TOLD to post on here by TRAC..why do I still talk to her now I dont really know!! lol I will run from her now Ive posted this.
I was talking to Trac about my success (by mistake) and how much I value peoples nice comments, and ended up talking about other sucesses I have had in the last couple of months.

SO HERE GOES...........

I have hardly told people about thes but feel I will now or else someone will be after me AGAINNNNNN and AGAIN if I dont.

2 months I got my AS level results and I did better then my college thought I would do. I struggled as I didnt have the support or anyone I could talk too hardly about anyhting. No-one understood me at all but I stayed and stayed but didnt go everyday as I couldnt cope at all... but the time came for exams and I took them and forced myself to do them.....I got my results back in August and I did ok in them, I took 3 subjects and my results were Art: E, general studies: D and food technology: C and they are all passes also while I got these I got my retakes of GCSE's and made an improvement in them. So now I have 2 B's, 7 C's and 2 D's at GCSE and they are passed by the D's arent really but Its ok as I wasnt interested in the subjects they were in. I managed to do these with nothing at all no help or anything. So really I should be please in having these.

Also I did a play over the summer with a local amature dramatic company and they have called me back to be in another show so I have taken the opportunity to do it as it will get me out more and not let me hide away and not do things. So the rehearsels start on friday and I will be going. Its something I want to do a I enjoyed my last one apart from all the eposides I had but I did all the shows and stil going back to do them.

I was also talking to someone else just now and that I was saying Its suprizing how much I havent told anyone about what I do and what I have acheived. Also its the first time ever that I have managed to say I feel alittle better at the moment.... Thanks to Gabby and her Webcam and Piccies!!!!! Sorry Had to include it!

Well...that is all I have done that I can think off now. Trac better be more than happy now as my arms are aching like mad from 2 LONG posts in 2 days!!!

Thanks All..Will keep posting my success when they come to me!!
Tc
Nikk xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:hugs: :hugs:

[nomorepanic]

Nikk

Well done you :yesyes: :yesyes:

[groovygranny]

WELL DONE to you Nik,

Glad you took notice of Trac and posted this very encouraging thread!:yesyes:

Thank you!

http://glittertexten.animaatjes.nl/img/WOOHOO257E14_20316_www-animaatjes-nl.gif

and..........

huuugehttp://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w117/horsrh8798/thCongratulations-Baby.gifon your GCSE results....awesome!!



:hugs::hugs::hugs:


:flowers:

[Believe]

Nikk,

Hi, another job well done there. You go girl. I am so very pleased that you shared this with us, because it gives us all hope and faith.

That's way cool about the show, you will be great. Yes it does get you out more and that's the whole point. To get out and enjoy your life. You are a very bright and caring person. You will enjoy making new friends and who knows Nikk you could even before our famous Nikk.

Go all the way Nikk, you can and will beat this as we all will. Know that I am so happy for you , it's really get to hear all the positives.

Take Care,
Believe:hugs: :hugs: :flowers: Hugs and flowers from across the ocean
I Believe In Time We All Will Get Better!!!!

[trac67]

Nikki,

Glad to see you did as your told :yahoo: lol

By posting all your achievements not only will it help you to carry on achieving when you read how proud everyone is of you, it will also help others to realise that they too can achieve their goals :D

Well done on all counts honey, your a star :bighug1:

Love

Trac xxx

[joelhall]

yay nikk i knew you had it in you i told you that before:hugs: :yesyes:

very proud of you nikk, and sooooooooooooo glad youe doing better:winks:

one day all this will be behind you and youll look back and saw that you worked hard and achieved something, and know that when you want to you can do anything:D

well done babe:yesyes: :yesyes: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx:D

[Nibbles]

:yesyes: A huge well done Nikk for all those achievements crammed into a short time. :yesyes:

http://i169.photobucket.com/albums/u215/krross2001/congratulations.gif


I'm so pleased Trac persuaded you to post this as you should feel very proud. Have fun with the play and well done again, those are great results. :)

Take care,

Mike x

[animal-mad-nikk]

So the rehearsels start on friday and I will be going.

Well...Just adding to my successes, I managed to go to the rehearsals. although I panicked and panicked I still went and almost stayed till the end of them but I came home as I wasnt feel good.

Will keep updating as things go on!

Nikk xxxx:hugs: :hugs:

[trac67]

Thats another great achievement hon because even though you didnt feel so good you still went and faced your fear :D

So proud of how you are doing

Love

Trac xxx

[Lindalou64]

:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

OUTSTANDING JOB NIKK:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YASELF....THIS IS A BIG SUCCESS FOR YOU HUN IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU.......KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK HUN:D ..................TAKE CARE TALK SOON..............LINDA XXXX:flowers: :flowers:

[Coni]

Well done Nikk...that is fantastic!
You are doing so well!!!!

luv Coni XX:hugs: :yesyes: :hugs: :yesyes:

[IrishPrincess]

Nikk,

Well done hun that is brill so chuffed for u,it only gets better from here,i'm seeing my counsellor 15 weeks now and the difference in how i feel since the 1st time i went.Keep it up hun,u won't know urself in a few weeks.:yesyes: :yesyes: :yesyes:

IrishPrincess xxx :hugs:


Keep your heart open to dreams,
For as long as there's dreams,
There is hope,
And as long as there's hope,
There is joy in living.

[animal-mad-nikk]

Ok... I havent posted here for abit now so thought I would instead of getting my butt kicked again to do sooo by a certain person (mentioing NO names)

Well...I have been going to the counselling still and to the reheaseals to the show...Its hard by Im being strong to do it and just getting on with things again.

Well...today I had a hospital appt to see whats next on my messed up knee. I panicked on the journey as it was an hour to get there. Soon as I was going in the hospital I had a small weird feeling but I did it and stayed there and not ran away. I found the room where I had to go.

Yes they were running LATE...:weep: :lac:

by about 30-40 mins so I caused the panic more..I did end up having to walk away and calm down but I was only gone for about 2 mins and I was fine...

I got called in and went in alone while mum waited in the waiting room, I felt calm and stayed calm while he was looking at my knee....then suddenly panic kicked in BIG-TIME and I didnt know what to do..the nurse that was there was really helpful and helped me loads....

SOOOOOOOOO..

The next thing is I had to get an x-ray on it to see if anyhting had changed in 4 years since I last went... so I had to walk through the hospital to get to the department. Then I had to wait ANOTHER 34 mins to be seen and x-rayed. That went ok, I was shaking loads but got through that..Had to wait for the radiographer to see if they came out.

Then had to go back to see if the consultant can see anything and the x-rays were all clear. So I have to wait now for an MRI yet again, I had one 5 years ago and nothing showed up. (had to wait 13 months for it:ohmy: )

Then I made the journey home ok.
Think I got somewhere to do, had blips but it wasnt really bad.

Nikk xxx:hugs: :hugs: