Schizophrenia!?

[Duchesskitty]

I’m very worried that I might be developing schizophrenia. I’ve been noticing that when I’m not focused on things I’m looking at, they can almost become something different until I look at them properly. Say for instance, I’m sat in the bathroom and looking at the lino on the floor, if I relax my eyes, I can make out images in the swirls and the more I focus on them, I can then imagine an image which goes with it!
I was driving the other day and did not have my glasses on (I meet the minimum standard for driving without them- I’m short sighted and have astigmatism) and thought a bag of rubbish was a person lying in the verge until I got closer!
Basically I’m worried I’m hallucinating. I know that these things I think aren’t real and keep putting it down to tricks of the eye but what’s really worrying is the imaginary images that pop in my mind when I see something. My partner tells me this is normal and that everyone sees faces etc in everyday shapes and that the more you focus on them, the more you see them but I’m petrified that I’m actually becoming psychotic. I did read the other day that people with OCD are more likely to get psychosis so maybe this is a natural progression of my MH problems?
Am I normal and anxious (albeit with less than perfect eyesight!) or am I developing psychosis!?!
I’m really scared and I keep thinking about all the possible things I could hallucinate and it’s making me scared.

[ShaunRyder]

My brother suffers from psychosis and this sounds nothing like how it started. Yes he had hallucinations, but he would literally see things that wasnt there, he would be watching TV and see a big eye appear of the screen, he would look at his dog but he didn't see a dog he saw a dragon, he says during the episodes he had he could actually see the wings on his dog,he would be driving and he would see the cars floating.

He also had thoughts about how our grandad was president of the world, he thought the cia was outside his house, he believed he was a god and was controlled by barrack Obama.

And during all of these episodes and thoughts he never once thought 'this isn't normal' he thought it was all normal to him and was telling everyone he was fine, he didn't realise that anything was different.

This isn't even half of it either! It sounds like you just anxious about it and making yourself think these things.

[ankietyjoe]

What you are describing is not even remotely close to being schizophrenia.

You also need to stop reading about rare worst case scenarios of conditions that you don't have.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Like Shaun says it's normal to someone within psychosis so they aren't questioning it like you. There would be no 'what if' about it.

The thing you need to remember is that the subconscious mind is always working busily in the background and part of it's job is to find associations to the things you see and here. So, if you smelled something in a shop you might get a brief flash of a memory because it has made a link to it.

This is all that is happening with the objects as they come into focus. It is trying to be helpful. But then you are reacting to it in a negative way and reinforcing the need for fear and it this which you need to work on.

As for schizophrenia and OCD it's that they have a relationship in terms of comorbidity. Those that have both can fly under the radar until the former becomes prevalent enough to separate.

[Duchesskitty]

Thanks everyone for replying, you’ve helped put my mind at rest a bit! I keep thinking it’s probably just intrusive thoughts but it’s that “doubt” anxiety gives you isn’t it?
I think what’s triggered this specific worry is that someone I know has been diagnosed with psychosis recently and I when I think about it, my anxiety has probably grabbed hold of that to be concerned about.
I’m also relieved that this doesn’t sound like psychosis. I tried to avoid googling but sometimes you just find yourself clicking!

[Duchesskitty]

I also wanted to say, I went for a long walk with my cousin and feel a lot calmer! She has anxiety so we talked it through and she made me laugh about it all!

[ShaunRyder]

So glad you are feeling better, also with my brother, everyone around him noticed changes in his behaviour, we even had his work colleagues reach out to us saying how paranoid he had become at work etc.

Hopefully you can move on from this worry 😀

[SarahNah]

I actually suffer with epsoide of psychosis myself - from what others told me and what I've worked on in therapy and other things I don't think you've got another to worry about hun x sending you lots of positive thoughts! x

[Carnation]

Duchesskitty, I am exactly the same and have been this way since a child.
If I stare at curtains I can eventually see a face and yes, I too have mistaken a plastic bag in the road for a person.
It's not schizophrenia, my Uncle had that, so I know what it entails.
I'm also shortsighted but only need to wear glasses when dark or my eyes are tired, so I may easily mistake something for something else if far away.
I wouldn't worry, it's more common than you realise.

[lofwyr]

I also wanted to say, I went for a long walk with my cousin and feel a lot calmer! She has anxiety so we talked it through and she made me laugh about it all!

Talking in person with someone who has anxiety has been of enormous help for me over the years. Online is good and all, but sitting down with a cup of coffee and just chatting is amazing. Relating your problem with someone face to face who really gets it is probably better than therapy for me.