Airisto
10-02-20, 19:35
I’m wondering if anyone can relate to this- so I am 21 years old and in college, if you’ve read any of my previous posts I have horribly irrational hypochondria, I’ve had it for 2 years now. I am starting to finally get better because I’ve been taking medicine and seeing a therapist. But for some reason I keep thinking I have no future and will die young??
Whenever I get happy and think about future plans like graduating or getting a job my mind goes “but you’re gonna die really soon so why even be look forward to that?” Even as a side hobby I draw art and make books for people and my mind goes “why are you agreeing to help make this book next month you might not even be alive then so there’s no point??” And it’s infuriating.
This all started when my health anxiety developed. Before this I loved going to school and making friends and doing my art and stuff. But now I hate going to school, I don’t try to make friends and I still LOVE doing art, it makes me the happiest but whenever I enjoy it my anxiety tells me I’m dying and won’t live past my 20’s and I have no future in this thing I love.
Has anyone else experienced this?? I am not sure if I’m afraid of the future or aging. I know a part of it is the small chance of getting cancer at a young age or another illness. But I’m not sure what I can do to stop feeling this? It’s ruining my passions and it’s not fun to think about. Thanks and sorry for the long post!!
Whenever I get happy and think about future plans like graduating or getting a job my mind goes “but you’re gonna die really soon so why even be look forward to that?” Even as a side hobby I draw art and make books for people and my mind goes “why are you agreeing to help make this book next month you might not even be alive then so there’s no point??” And it’s infuriating.
This all started when my health anxiety developed. Before this I loved going to school and making friends and doing my art and stuff. But now I hate going to school, I don’t try to make friends and I still LOVE doing art, it makes me the happiest but whenever I enjoy it my anxiety tells me I’m dying and won’t live past my 20’s and I have no future in this thing I love.
Has anyone else experienced this?? I am not sure if I’m afraid of the future or aging. I know a part of it is the small chance of getting cancer at a young age or another illness. But I’m not sure what I can do to stop feeling this? It’s ruining my passions and it’s not fun to think about. Thanks and sorry for the long post!!