fed up and bawling........

[nanny]

Hi all

I should be one of the happiest lady's around at the mo after having been given my lovely grandaughter this week but i feel so unwell, down and keep bawling my eyes out like a baby:lac:

I have been addicted to diazepam big time for the last 9 years, also been on anti D's all that time too and also been eating co-codamol each and everyday for the same amount of time. haven't slept properly in absolutely years, waking between 3 and 5 every a.m.
Well i had had enough:wacko: and decided to be absolutely truthful with my new doc (old one retired) and told him i was taking twice as many tabs as should:blush: he's so understanding and really commited to helping me get off the diazepam and co-codamol and sorting my sleeping out.

First off he's given me a programme to cut down on the diazepam which i am finding so B****Y hard!!! also the headache pills, in the meantime he has changed my anti d's from citilipram to trazodone, of which i take one at night instead of morning like old ones. This is to relax me as well so then i won't be so anxious in my mind therefore not waking early, well these are working so far coz up to now since being on them i have only woke up twice at 5 and the rest of time woke around 7 (heaven, a lie in for me ) so all in all i'm trying to cut down on 2 lots of tabs, have changed my anit d's after 9 years, taking new ones which i must say are giving me a right queer head in the mornings, i can only describe it as a heavy wolly sort of head if you know what i mean, it's so hard to explain:blush: and feel absolutely awful.
Now i'm finding i am crying all the time, this isn't like me although i am an emotional person, i feel really bad like i'm some right old junkie coming of bad drugs etc (no offence to anyone with that statement).
Hubby is saying hang in there gal and stick with it, ok for him to say:mad: he's not the one going through it, he's there for me all the time but can't take away these feelings can he.
i know no one can help just needed to write all that down:lac:

[Believe]

Hello Nanny,:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:


I am so very sorry to hear you are having such a ruff time. I know that it's hard to switch meds and to cut down on them. I am very proud that you came clean with your gp, that took guts.

I too had problems with drugs, and let me tell you it's not fun or easy. That is why this time around I went the all natural route. Once around on reg. meds was enough for me. I know that there are lots of reg meds out there that have great effects.But they are not for me.


As for the crying Nanny I do that alot myself, you only need to say boo an I cry, I to am not normally like this.My sleeping has been the pitts this week also, got have any idea why, but I just get up and do things, so I don't start worrying about it. Cause we both know what that leads to.

You are right about hubbies, they can try to understand, but unless you are going through it, you don't know. I am just greatful that I have Bert, he has been my rock through all of this. An I know without him, I would not be where I am today.


Hang in there Nanny, I need your help in the word games, can't take Phill and Mandy on by myself. Your are such a great loving and caring person, along with strong, you will get through this.

Wow sorry for the journal here.

Take Care
Believe:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

I Believe In Time We All Will Get Better!!!!!!!

[Anna77]

Hi Nanny,

Sorry you're going through a tough time at the moment. You're doing amazing in trying to cut down on your meds, and for being completely honest with your new doc :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

Hope it all gets easier and better for you soon,

Anna x

[manmoor]

Nanny have a big hug from me hun :hugs: and now you know a new word hun you'll be better in no time :hugs: :hugs: xxx

[nanny]

:hugs: :hugs: Thanks for your loving support, i needed it i:weep: can tell you.

believe you haven't done a journel:) that helped reading that, knowing someone's been there and DONE it.........

lorelia thanks for the praise about going to my doc it wasn't easy, took me ages to actully go and do it, but was damn well proud of myself after:yesyes:

manmoor, thanks for the hugs and the new word lol, i have been using it all day to practice for when someone stresses me out in the shops etc i wanna use it on someone now just to see their expression lol.

i'll still be in there playing the games they keep the old brain going and it's fun

on a serous note once again a big:bighug1: for all and thanks for being there.

[kate]

Awww, you are doing so well, don't lose sight of that :D

Hope you feel a lot better very soon :hugs:

Kate x

[groovygranny]

Aaw, nanny

You know I'd be rather surprised if you weren't feeling any effects of the past few days - let alone the adjustment your body is having to make with your meds changing.

Spose it's a 'delayed' reaction really - all the stress of the anticipation leading up to the birth of your lovely granddaughter, is now coming out.

And it's better out than in you know. Not long after my daughter arrived in Thailand for her honeymoon, her psoriasis flared up very badly and is only now beginning to subside a little. We're sure it was because all the toxins and stress that were in her body finally had a chance to 'come out' .

Believe in yourself nanny - we all do. I've told you how brave you are for going to the doc and being honest with him, you just got to believe that for yourself.

Ride the wave, even though you're feeling cr*p, because we're all here for you (and yer darlin' hubby means well like they all do:blush:!).......and soon you'll be looking back and smiling in satisfaction at your success in overcoming it all.

big hugs to you luvly girl

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

:flowers:

[nanny]

:) Hi GG

Oh i hope so, no doubt you are right, i was well anxious and didn't sleep for 2 nights while Tayla was taking her time coming:lac: she sure wanted us to appreciate her :winks: making us wait.

I will try to ride this out, but i think it'll be one of the hardest things i'll ever have to do. Nothing good is easy hey:wacko:

it's just that i feel so ruddy ill, my head don't feel it's mine, i have been playing the games this afternoon to try and take my mind of it, but now my head is cracking:lac: so looks like looking at this screen hasn't done me ablind bit of good, thicko i am:wacko:

Thanks GG for being so encouraging, hopefully i'll get there hey :bighug1:

[Bill]

Hello "Nanny",
Sorry I'm late but Congratulations on your grandaughter! :hugs:

As you know, I was on diazepam for 3 years and it took me 6 months to get off them. I know it's hardwork but it really is worth persevering.

This is what worked for me-
If you find you reduce to an amount but feel you can't reduce further, give yourself a break and try and start reducing again say in a few weeks time.

Reduce SLOWLY, even at SMALL doses. Remember percentages! As the dose becomes smaller, reduce in smaller amounts. No more than 10% in a week or 2. If you get problems, slow the reduction. Leave yourself on an amount for 1 - 2 weeks to give your body time to adapt.

I can remember breaking my larger dose tablets into quarters so that would be a 25% reduction which I'd leave for 2 weeks. As the dose got smaller I'd reduce the reduction to 10% because I found that the body reacted more at smaller doses.

I'm sure your doctor has everything in order but let me know if you think I can help with any advice. You know I'm here if you need me. :hugs:

[nanny]

Hi Bill

:) Thanks for the Congratulations and the advice:)

As understanding as my new doc is i do think he's cutting me down a bit too fast but didn't want to say anything. I was up to 12mg per day now he really does want me to stick to 6mg, which is blinking nigh on impossible but i'm trying to persevere:wacko:

I have NEVER EVER felt so ill though, coz it's not only that is it? i'm also on new anti d's after 9 years of taking my other ones and trying to get off the headache pills etc.

Well i have another appointment Thursday and i'm going to tell him exactly how i feel, i know all things are hard but i really don't know if i can honestly cope with all this. I know i sound like a woose but i really do feel ill. oh i know i'm not the only one who is going or gone through this but as selfish as it sounds that doesn't help me hey. oh dear here i go:blush: feeling sorry for myself now.

:hugs:

[Bill]

Hello nanny,

Just say to the doctor you need to take things slower. It doesn't matter how long it takes and slowly is normally best! It took me 6 months so I'd expect it to take at least as long for you considering things. :hugs:

I know its difficult so don't be hard on yourself. :hugs:

[nanny]

Cheers Bill,

I shall tell the DR EXACTLY how i'm feeling and do what he suggests, if he still wants me to it this way then so be it................

i shall just have to grin and bare it (well i don't know about the grin so much):blush:

[nanny]

Hi all
just an update on me and these meds:wacko:

Went off to doc, i explained how i was feeling and he said it's all down to meds but doing real well and hang on in there, easier for him to say i thought:blush: but hang on in there i have and it's still a blimming hard, upsetting job!

3 weeks down the line now and just starting 4th, don't feel easier as yet infact been worse some ways but better in some also.
My wooly heads have gone or almost it's just the occasional morning i wake with em, i am not as shaky BUT and this is the worse thing of all....... i am now getting real bad night terrors (well, thats what i call em) it's the same recurring thing, i am half asleep and half awake but paralised with fear:lac: can't speak, can't move and am absolutely terrified. My hubby heard me asking him to wake me from it the other night, it scared him also as i wasn't speaking properly and he wondered what the heck was wrong with me. he woke me up as i was making this noise as he called it, i turned over and went back to sleep only to go straight back into it again.
It's now got to the point where i'm afraid to fall asleep incase i have another. i still shout out in the night as well, although i have done this for years, it could just be speaking, shouting crying or even real angry bad word swearing!!

so i'm hanging in there guy's but it's hard, i only hope it's all worth it and i WILL feel better when i eventually get off em.

has anyone else had these awful night terror things and was it coming off meds that done it??

[Bill]

Hello nanny,

Keep determined and you'll get there!

I had night terrors when I was on Seroxat. They Will pass in time.

It'll be worth it if you can persevere.

Thinking of you. :hugs:

[nanny]

:bighug1:

Thanks Bill

I'm hanging in there and it's hard but i will do it!!! i haven't gone through all this and come this far to give up now.

Thanks for thinking of me:hugs:

[beauty]

Hiya nanny,
ive only just seen this thread i hope youre feeling better now... *BIG* hugs! xxx

[nanny]

cheers beauty

still going through a right rough old time, but i am determined i'll get off these meds and get of em i will...........with a bit of luck thrown in:blush:

:hugs: :hugs:

[Believe]

Hello Nanny,:hugs: :hugs:

Yes I went throught the night terrors also. I know that it's hard to stay positive, but this will get better. An yes you haven't come this far to give up now.

I hope that you are soon feeling better.

Take Care
Tina


I Believe That We All Will Get Better!!!

[nanny]

Thanks tina

i'll hold on to that:hugs: :hugs:

[Believe]

You are so welcome Nanny. I am hear if you need to vent. Just email me and I will respond.

Take Care and hug that baby for me.


Tina:hugs: :hugs:


I Believe That We All Will Get Better !!!!!!!!!

[nanny]

Thanks Tina:hugs:

I may just take you up on that.
will give babe a hug, i'm off down to her in a minute to take her to baby clinic and nanny gets to push the pushchair:yesyes:

Gauranteed to cheer me up:)