Total Crash - Advice?

[LittleLionMan]

Hi everyone,

I have GAD, panic attacks, and am agoraphobic, and have relapsed very quickly from actually making some decent progress. I have got myself stuck in this cycle lately, where it's just relentless anxiety, panic and intrusive thoughts all day, with maybe an hour or 2 a day off, where I still don't feel anywhere near OK, but it's more tolerable.

My wonderful therapist keeps trying to solve the 'bigger picture', and is focussing on the long game, whilst I'm floundering, and she doesn't seem too concerned with the day to day anxiety I have.

Does anyone have any ideas of things I can try to break this cycle, as it's really pushing me to breaking point at the minute.

All advice welcome, and I hope you are all doing OK.

Cheers, Phil.

[ankietyjoe]

Hi everyone,

I have GAD, panic attacks, and am agoraphobic, and have relapsed very quickly from actually making some decent progress. I have got myself stuck in this cycle lately, where it's just relentless anxiety, panic and intrusive thoughts all day, with maybe an hour or 2 a day off, where I still don't feel anywhere near OK, but it's more tolerable.

My wonderful therapist keeps trying to solve the 'bigger picture', and is focussing on the long game, whilst I'm floundering, and she doesn't seem too concerned with the day to day anxiety I have.

Does anyone have any ideas of things I can try to break this cycle, as it's really pushing me to breaking point at the minute.

All advice welcome, and I hope you are all doing OK.

Cheers, Phil.

Hi Phil

Been there, done that lol.

It does often seem that when you're in the middle of it, that it'll never end. But, I would try focusing on what your therapist is saying because they are right. The long game is all that really matters.

Have you ever talked about acceptance with your therapist? Have they ever suggested the idea that if you just let it happen, it won't be such a big deal?

[LittleLionMan]

Haha, great fun isn't it!

Yeah, that's what I try and do myself, and that is what she says to do, it's just getting too much to tolerate. I'm either anxious and hanging in there, getting bombarded by 'what ifs', or I am exhausted from the anxiety and can't think straight and am all dazed and stuff. It's relentless. I've lost a stone in weight in the last 2 weeks, which isn't uncommon for me with anxiety, it's happened before, purely because I can't bring myself to eat in the anxious times.

I know she's right to look at the long term, it just doesn't help me now, and there won't be a lot left for her to save at this rate.

Hope you're doing OK mate.

[ankietyjoe]

Haha, great fun isn't it!

Yeah, that's what I try and do myself, and that is what she says to do, it's just getting too much to tolerate. I'm either anxious and hanging in there, getting bombarded by 'what ifs', or I am exhausted from the anxiety and can't think straight and am all dazed and stuff. It's relentless. I've lost a stone in weight in the last 2 weeks, which isn't uncommon for me with anxiety, it's happened before, purely because I can't bring myself to eat in the anxious times.

I know she's right to look at the long term, it just doesn't help me now, and there won't be a lot left for her to save at this rate.

Hope you're doing OK mate.

Yeah I'm 95% anxiety free now, probably more. Any anxiety I have these days is shrugged off pretty swiftly. So remember that, there is an end to this.

Ok, so being dazed is normal. Nothing to worry about there.

The 'what if's' though. You say you are being bombarded with them, but try and pick that sentence apart a little. Are you really being bombarded, and if so....where are they coming from? The reality is that it's not an external issue, it's internal. Your brain is elastic, and therefore can learn (even now, when you feel like a zombie dog child of the night). Something you can do immediately is start using your own language to negate the negative thoughts. When it happens, try saying 'not now thanks'. I used to say it out loud. I eventually learned that if I was having an intrusive or negative though I would say 'nope', and physically walk away from the thought. If I was sitting on the sofa, I would say no and walk away. You're programming your mind to detach from these thoughts physically and mentally.

This takes time and practice, but it works. You may find a variation on this works better for you. There is a lot of truth in the idea that what you think about tends to become your reality, so you have to force a new mental reality on yourself even if you don't believe it right now.

Also, meditate. Meditation is immense. Start researching that today as well. It's very common for people to think it's not for them because they 'can't empty their mind', but meditation is the opposite of emptying your mind. If you research it and decide it's for you I'm happy to give some more pointers if you need them. It's life changing when done right.

You'll get there, it's not a life sentence.

[LittleLionMan]

Congrats on your own progress!
Couldn't even imagine that life at the minute.

I work from home, which has been mental lately, so sometimes really throw myself into my work as a distraction, but then struggle to switch off after. Always a problem with my agoraphobia, as it takes away options to keep myself busy!

I have been doing an online course called BeMindful, but struggle to sit with it sometimes, and apart from it relaxing me temporarily, I have yet to feel the benefit.

That's the thing really, although my thoughts have been getting increasingly dark, they are more anxious confusion, with my little brain racking itself to figure stuff out.
It seems the things I do to help myself seem to make me worse, but that's where the acceptance instead of fighting it off comes in I suppose.

I have a bit of a crisis meeting with my therapist later, so hoping that proves helpful.
I'm in a bit of a desperate way to be honest. Had anxiety issues for 12 years, but never this thought based, and never this mental.
My therapist sees it as progress because it used to turn into worrying about my health and things like that to mask it, so she's happy I'm seeing the actual thought based reasons, which made me even more angry! Haha!

[ankietyjoe]

Congrats on your own progress!
Couldn't even imagine that life at the minute.

I work from home, which has been mental lately, so sometimes really throw myself into my work as a distraction, but then struggle to switch off after. Always a problem with my agoraphobia, as it takes away options to keep myself busy!

I have been doing an online course called BeMindful, but struggle to sit with it sometimes, and apart from it relaxing me temporarily, I have yet to feel the benefit.

That's the thing really, although my thoughts have been getting increasingly dark, they are more anxious confusion, with my little brain racking itself to figure stuff out.
It seems the things I do to help myself seem to make me worse, but that's where the acceptance instead of fighting it off comes in I suppose.

I have a bit of a crisis meeting with my therapist later, so hoping that proves helpful.
I'm in a bit of a desperate way to be honest. Had anxiety issues for 12 years, but never this thought based, and never this mental.
My therapist sees it as progress because it used to turn into worrying about my health and things like that to mask it, so she's happy I'm seeing the actual thought based reasons, which made me even more angry! Haha!


I work from home too, it's a double edged sword in some respects. It would actually be a very good idea to get yourself out the house first thing in the morning, even if it's just for 5 minutes. The routine of getting ready and seeing the sky can be incredibly beneficial, as well as the exercise of walking.

Keeping busy is a red herring. All that's doing is adding a layer of stress to a system that's already reacting to stress, and stress is the important word. It's an almost Universal truth that it's stress that causes anxiety. And stress can come in multiple forms, emotional, physical or chemical. And yes, acceptance is the key to fighting it off long term, even if it feels like you're doing the opposite in the short term. You have all the evidence already that running from it and keeping busy doesn't work, right?

You are aware that you've had anxiety for 12 years, so what triggered it? It doesn't have to be one single, massive event. It could have been a multitude of things creating the perfect storm of stress. The thing about anxiety is that it can very quickly become habitual (this is when it becomes a panic or anxiety disorder) where the anxiety itself is the self sustaining source. I think that's where you might be now, and why you're struggling to work it out. So when you say you're trying to figure stuff out, what stuff?

But again, stand back and look at the big picture. Your therapist is 100% right here, you're just not there yet.

[LittleLionMan]

I always go outside for a stroll first thing... alright, for a cigarette, it still counts! Haha.

My therapist thinks that I have learnt to be super hard on myself from my Dad, and learnt a load of perfectionist traits that mean you basically bully yourself 24/7. So I have to notice when I'm being hard on myself, and either turn it around, or notice it and let go. Easier said.

It's like now. Super tired, it's too early to go to bed, and my mind is just exhausted and racing. I never know what to do with myself. It's just one constant battle all day.

I'm sure my therapist is right, it's just difficult to see through the anxiety smoke, and constant panic.