Early Alzheimer's obsession back and I Googled.....

[sfm]

Well, my fear of early onset Alzheimer's is back, and I made the cardinal mistake of Googling.

So, now I'm terrified and I've ruined my weekend......

Latest fear started because I forgot the details of a work conversation. I'm a teacher, and a colleague asked me if I could stop in for another student's conference at 4PM.

Well, I remember everything about the conversation *except* I totally blanked that she had actually told me she had a conference time arranged, and that it was at 4. Thank Goodness, the mom didn't show up, or I would have missed it! I've had some other, similar moments, but I've been telling myself they're normal, and my forgetfulness isn't affecting my work. But now it has.....or good have. And then I made the mistake of Googling. Naturally, I've read that forgetting conversations is the most common sign of early Alzheimers, and not ever normal at my age (I'm 48). I do have a very stressful job, anxiety, loads on my plate at work and at home.....but that feels like I'm making excuses for my failing brain. I know everyone forgets things from time to time, but this seems different.

The fact that I just can't remember this part of the conversation is what I'm absolutely obsessing over. If it had come back to me, like, "Oh, right...." then I think I'd be o.k. but the fact that it's like that part of the conversation is totally blank for me even though I participated in it, is just really, really scary.

I know I just need to see my doctor. I'm just terrified, and I've ruined my weekend, and I'm so disgusted with myself for falling down this rabbit hole and just in a really, really dark place.

Guess I just needed to get that out. Thank you for anyone reading this far. I appreciate you!!

[nomorepanic]

I think most of us have done this at some point - I really wouldn't worry about it to the extent you have been to be honest.

[hope_girl]

I have had this happen to me and while it's something that happens to everyone, if you've got health anxiety and a pre-existing fear of early alzheimer's, well, then you're in trouble because any memory lapse or forgetfulness gets tied into the fear as proof that it's happening. There are reasons you may not remember that one segment of the conversation. You could have misunderstood her! Or literally not heard her bc you were thinking of something else in the moment she told you. If you can recall other parts of the conversation - that's not alzheimers! I have a close family member with it and I have been CONVINCED that I have it too. It can be as bad as the ALS fear. Because it's a terrifying diagnosis. Also, anxiety can DEFINITELY cause memory issues. And when you begin to doubt your memory it can feel like a crazy place. It can become like a snowball. Going to the Dr. won't do anything. There's nothing they can do to fix it anyway. Go to a therapist instead. Your age puts you at the greatest possible place for NOT having any memory issues. I know that to a health anxiety person probability doesn't matter, but it does for the rest of the world. The simple truth is that hypochondriacs have to have perfect health, perfect memories, perfect energy or they think they are falling apart. But we forget things, we get sick, and we get tired. It's part of being human. Seek help for the real problem here - look into a therapist who uses CBT