sfm
01-03-20, 23:04
Well, my fear of early onset Alzheimer's is back, and I made the cardinal mistake of Googling.
So, now I'm terrified and I've ruined my weekend......
Latest fear started because I forgot the details of a work conversation. I'm a teacher, and a colleague asked me if I could stop in for another student's conference at 4PM.
Well, I remember everything about the conversation *except* I totally blanked that she had actually told me she had a conference time arranged, and that it was at 4. Thank Goodness, the mom didn't show up, or I would have missed it! I've had some other, similar moments, but I've been telling myself they're normal, and my forgetfulness isn't affecting my work. But now it has.....or good have. And then I made the mistake of Googling. Naturally, I've read that forgetting conversations is the most common sign of early Alzheimers, and not ever normal at my age (I'm 48). I do have a very stressful job, anxiety, loads on my plate at work and at home.....but that feels like I'm making excuses for my failing brain. I know everyone forgets things from time to time, but this seems different.
The fact that I just can't remember this part of the conversation is what I'm absolutely obsessing over. If it had come back to me, like, "Oh, right...." then I think I'd be o.k. but the fact that it's like that part of the conversation is totally blank for me even though I participated in it, is just really, really scary.
I know I just need to see my doctor. I'm just terrified, and I've ruined my weekend, and I'm so disgusted with myself for falling down this rabbit hole and just in a really, really dark place.
Guess I just needed to get that out. Thank you for anyone reading this far. I appreciate you!!
So, now I'm terrified and I've ruined my weekend......
Latest fear started because I forgot the details of a work conversation. I'm a teacher, and a colleague asked me if I could stop in for another student's conference at 4PM.
Well, I remember everything about the conversation *except* I totally blanked that she had actually told me she had a conference time arranged, and that it was at 4. Thank Goodness, the mom didn't show up, or I would have missed it! I've had some other, similar moments, but I've been telling myself they're normal, and my forgetfulness isn't affecting my work. But now it has.....or good have. And then I made the mistake of Googling. Naturally, I've read that forgetting conversations is the most common sign of early Alzheimers, and not ever normal at my age (I'm 48). I do have a very stressful job, anxiety, loads on my plate at work and at home.....but that feels like I'm making excuses for my failing brain. I know everyone forgets things from time to time, but this seems different.
The fact that I just can't remember this part of the conversation is what I'm absolutely obsessing over. If it had come back to me, like, "Oh, right...." then I think I'd be o.k. but the fact that it's like that part of the conversation is totally blank for me even though I participated in it, is just really, really scary.
I know I just need to see my doctor. I'm just terrified, and I've ruined my weekend, and I'm so disgusted with myself for falling down this rabbit hole and just in a really, really dark place.
Guess I just needed to get that out. Thank you for anyone reading this far. I appreciate you!!