Worst night ever

[Panda22]

Can someone reassure me... i just had the worst night. was up all night with really bad anxiety and panic feelings till like 6am just couldn't fall asleep.

I felt like i was going crazy and felt kind of unreal which made me worried to fall asleep if that makes sense. I was worried i would suddenly lose my mind or slip into psychosis or something, thats my biggest fear. I tried to distract myself watching youtube video's but it just didnt work, the panic feeling kept coming in waves. I also had some what i think is existential anxiety? I kept thinking about Why am i here? and is there a God? and that made me panic too for some reason, i think in combination with the derealization feelings.

Does this even sound like panic or am i going completely mad?? Please someone i really had a very difficult time going trough that so exhausted now
I'm terrified this will happen again or that i lose my sanity

[BlueIris]

It's panic. It's horrible, but it can't physically hurt you.

Be kind to yourself today - the feelings will fade, but it might take some time.

[Carys]

What you posted - reminded me of myself some nearly 40 years ago, same feelings, same thoughts, same fears. People in very heightened anxiety often fear psychosis, but the fact that you fear it means you don't have it, as people with real psychosis don't know they have it. (I was told anyway) Depersonalisation, intrusive thoughts (fear of going mad) and panic attacks all combine to produce what you felt last night. I can recall the feelings well, even though I've not had them like that since I was much younger, including the existential stuff. Nasty feelings, but only symptoms of a very anxious mind. I have also talked on PM over the years with so many people who thought they were 'going insane' , so its common to think and feel that - but I can assure you that you most certainly aren't. :)

[Panda22]

@BlueIris, yes it was so horrible. Only when i called my parents i was able to calm down and fall asleep. Hope tonight will be better. Thanks for being reassuring.. my body and mind feel tired today so just taking it easy

@Carys, thank you, yes that's exactly what i'm having too. Sometimes i just feel so out of it i fear my mind wo'nt be able to handle it and i'd go crazy.. which adds so much fear. I also don't know why i've become a bit obsessed with existential thinking lately and it just makes me feel weird.

[Lencoboy]

You've pretty much got it spot on there Carys.

Although there is still quite a bit more work to be done, society today in the grand scheme of things has generally become much more aware and understanding of mental health issues, especially since the early nineties (which was an exceptionally bad time for me personally, but that's for another thread). And this is despite all the difficulties the NHS and the like have faced over recent years.

[ankietyjoe]

This is common really, I struggled with this dozens of times over the years until I learned to just let it happen.

You can't go mad from anxiety, and psychosis has got nothing to do with anxiety either. There is no link. If you suffer with psychosis you can experience anxiety, but anxiety cannot turn into psychosis. It's like worrying that a broken leg will turn into sunburn.

Blue is right, be kind to yourself today. Those experiences are exhausting.

In terms of the bigger picture, it's important to find a way to 'turn down' your body/mind. When you're at this stage you can't just switch if off, but it's important to find things to lessen the effect. Attack this from multiple fronts. Take extra naps if you can. Keep on top of your diet. Try and go for a walk in the sunshine (when you can). Meditate. Do yoga. Have a long bath. Whatever it is that gives you a little bit of quiet time, keep doing that.