View Full Version : CBT update
I mentioned a few weeks back they referred me for CBT they offered a relaxation class I declined. Got a letter today about it they said call to confirm so I called and they took my details said they would call back but never did. I got a letter with it saying it would be a classroom set up 7 sessions it wasn’t group based but it said all chairs face the front? It says the course teaches stress control.
I asked them if it was group based the person on the phone had little idea. I am disappointed if it is group based and I doubt I would want to go. I was hoping for one to one CBT which is did privately. It shows the lack of resources on my area if it is group based. Money is tight right now so can’t instantly book more private CBT but I may have to consider in a few months going private again. I feel let down by the NHS near me I once did have one to one seasons but when I was 16. It’s very disappointing if I have to spend more money.
Phil, you just spent a thousand pounds on a holiday. Many people on the forums here don't have this luxury. You're better off working on your mental health and then saving the holidays for when you're more functional.
Phil, you just spent a thousand pounds on a holiday. Many people on the forums here don't have this luxury. You're better off working on your mental health and then saving the holidays for when you're more functional.
I did holidays and CBT before so it’s not the holidays. However I struggle to pay other stuff if I do CBT. Obviously if that’s all the NHS can offer I may have to look at private again.
nomorepanic
04-03-20, 17:38
Why are you not prepared to give it a try?
Why are you not prepared to give it a try?
I don’t like discussing my anxiety and ocd in a public group
Why are you not prepared to give it a try?
Well said
And also Venusbluejeans gave you a whole list of links for free treatment. Try those
nomorepanic
04-03-20, 18:12
I don’t like discussing my anxiety and ocd in a public group
But that is exactly what you are doing on here?
I don’t like discussing my anxiety and ocd in a public group
Oh this so made me laugh, really, Phil - you've been discussing your OCD and anxiety endlessly in a public group (this one) for 14 years !!!
nomorepanic
04-03-20, 18:13
Give it try you never know Phil and you HAVE to do something
...and maybe they think it might be in your interest to get to know other people, and hear from them, who are in the same situation.
nomorepanic
04-03-20, 18:21
I think talking to "real" people would be far more benefical than posting on here to be honest. I really strongly advise you to go and do it.
Oh this so made me laugh, really, Phil - you've been discussing your OCD and anxiety endlessly in a public group (this one) for 14 years !!!
Speaking online is different to real life. Real life is also different to social media.
Talking to real people is much healthier, seriously.
...and maybe they think it might be in your interest to get to know other people, and hear from them, who are in the same situation.
I dislike the stigma also I don’t feel socialising with people with anxiety helps. Many people are ignorant to mental health including my partner parents. In all honesty I don’t talk about my anxiety too often in real life.
Talking to real people is much healthier, seriously.
It’s easier to be joe bloggs on a forum. I could be Phil anybody there is thousands of Phil’s out there
Know the way to combat stigma, Phil? By bringing things out into the open.
I had this conversation with myself a couple of years ago, and I realised I had to be open about my anxiety and depression so that the young people I work with (not to mention my colleagues) have just a tiny bit less reason to feel ashamed of any MH issues they might have themselves.
Know the way to combat stigma, Phil? By bringing things out into the open.
I had this conversation with myself a couple of years ago, and I realised I had to be open about my anxiety and depression so that the young people I work with (not to mention my colleagues) have just a tiny bit less reason to feel ashamed of any MH issues they might have themselves.
True but you can’t change the older generations opinion. I believe more younger people suffer mental health these days due to social media pressures. A few of my friends have mentioned anxiety before but nobody is quite open to admit they suffer from it.
You will be with people who also have the same problems, with a leading therapist who deals with MH conditions. This is irrelevant about the stigma, cos you'll all be in the same boat. Blue is right tho !!!
Just go and try it, you really have nothing to lose and you never know...
You will be with people who also have the same problems, with a leading therapist who deals with MH conditions. This is irrelevant about the stigma, cos you'll all be in the same boat. Blue is right tho !!!
Just go and try it, you really have nothing to lose and you never know...
I would rather seek more private CBT than talk about this in person in a group
I mentioned a few weeks back they referred me for CBT they offered a relaxation class I declined. Got a letter today about it they said call to confirm so I called and they took my details said they would call back but never did. I got a letter with it saying it would be a classroom set up 7 sessions it wasn’t group based but it said all chairs face the front? It says the course teaches stress control.
I asked them if it was group based the person on the phone had little idea. I am disappointed if it is group based and I doubt I would want to go. I was hoping for one to one CBT which is did privately. It shows the lack of resources on my area if it is group based. Money is tight right now so can’t instantly book more private CBT but I may have to consider in a few months going private again. I feel let down by the NHS near me I once did have one to one seasons but when I was 16. It’s very disappointing if I have to spend more money.
Stress control sounds ideal for you but if you've shut your mind to it then it's hopeless to try to persuade you.
Good that you are considering going private in a few months though ...So you DO believe that you will survive coronavirus despite all your prophecies of doom!:D
There we go, a shut mind, what a shame to not even try. AS expected.
MyNameIsTerry
04-03-20, 19:50
I disagree about the group approach, it's not for everyone. These conditions can be very embarrassing and some will just turn inside themselves wasting a place in the group.
Also some forms of OCD are very emotive. It's not easy to talk to a therapist if you are a parent having intrusive thoughts about abusing a child. Doing that in a mixed anxiety group can bring the risk of it being discussed outside the group by those ignorant to these themes. I can think of several occasions on here alone where members have been subject to ignorance by others here and made to feel like potential sex offenders.
Since Phil doesn't have such themes a group setting is safer but let's not generalise about how people should approach this. Initially I wouldn't do group settings as I was too embarrassed as a man, a problem with treating men's health, but later felt confident enough to do it via walk-in talk groups.
Also it's a false comparison with NMP. No one here knows who we are.
Phil, please take what you can. I suggest asking to talk to someone about the format of the sessions and your expected involvement. There might be less pressure involved than you think.
There we go, a shut mind, what a shame to not even try. AS expected.
I never thought it would be so hard to get one to one CBT via the NHS. Maybe others have had other luck.
MyNameIsTerry
04-03-20, 19:56
Stress control sounds ideal for you but if you've shut your mind to it then it's hopeless to try to persuade you.
Good that you are considering going private in a few months though ...So you DO believe that you will survive coronavirus despite all your prophecies of doom!:D
I recall this, pulisa. It was actually an alternative treatment to CBT used by the NHS and in the NICE pathway. You may remember Kimberley had it and said it really helped her. It's about learning to relax at the point a trigger occurs. We can't seem to get it under IAPT and we rarely hear of it on NMP in my time on here. It would be a good treatment for many of us!
Isn't this stress control/relaxation that Phil is being offered.....in the group ? Which is why it seems a good idea to everyone ? I've read your reply above Terry about groups are not for everyone, but this isn't a group about discussing his private mental health problems, its different. (from how he describes it) I'm sorry, but I think this is Phil being hell-bent on one thing and one thing alone that he wants, and not willing to give this a try. Surely there is nothing to lose - if he's going to get himself private CBT anyway, then this could be an additional support. It is good advice that he rings and asks the format of the sessions, to determine the input needed, but in all honesty I think he's made the decision already. :huh:
MyNameIsTerry
04-03-20, 20:04
Isn't this stress control Phil is being offered.....in the group ? WHich is why it seems a good idea ?
I'm lost on that one, Carys. What I mentioned to pulisa above was a lot longer than a few weeks ago so it sounds like they offered a stress control thing again but have switched it to group CBT because he turned it down.
One thing is for sure, if he turns this one down they will start questioning whether he actually wants help. They may just remove him from the list. They need to be aware of barriers to accessing treatment so they know they are not being messed about.
Oh I thought it was the other way around, ummmm, I'm lost now too......LOL Ummmm, at the start of this thread he says that it is....oh let me check.....
I mentioned a few weeks back they referred me for CBT they offered a relaxation class I declined. Got a letter today about it they said call to confirm so I called and they took my details said they would call back but never did. I got a letter with it saying it would be a classroom set up 7 sessions it wasn’t group based but it said all chairs face the front? It says the course teaches stress control.
I asked them if it was group based the person on the phone had little idea. I am disappointed if it is group based and I doubt I would want to go. I was hoping for one to one CBT which is did privately. It shows the lack of resources on my area if it is group based. Money is tight right now so can’t instantly book more private CBT but I may have to consider in a few months going private again. I feel let down by the NHS near me I once did have one to one seasons but when I was 16. It’s very disappointing if I have to spend more money.
This sounds like the group stress control session, where it sounds like it is taught in a learning environment type of way, that he is turning down (and not group cbt )?
So, what I mean is that he has nothing to lose with these 7 sessions, he currently hasn't got CBT on either the NHS or privately.
I'm lost on that one, Carys. What I mentioned to pulisa above was a lot longer than a few weeks ago so it sounds like they offered a stress control thing again but have switched it to group CBT because he turned it down.
One thing is for sure, if he turns this one down they will start questioning whether he actually wants help. They may just remove him from the list. They need to be aware of barriers to accessing treatment so they know they are not being messed about.
Not to worry I would be telling them to remove me from the list if it’s group based. Whilst not ideal I would pay for more CBT or I may hold off and do nothing. There should be no shame in saying something isn’t for me. I have to be comfortable and I have always been honest and upfront and said no group sessions. Things are not too bad right now compared to previous months so I won’t be rushing out for private CBT but if things get worse I would go back as atleast it’s one to one sessions.
It doesn't sound like a 'group session' that you imagine it to be Phil, its a group of people sat in a classroom type format learning from the teacher !!
Turning things down, any help, sounds like you aren't really that interested in help !!!
It doesn't sound like a 'group session' that you imagine it to be Phil, its a group of people sat in a classroom type format learning from the teacher !!
Turning things down, any help, sounds like you aren't really that interested in help !!!
Not atall but a general question it anybody here has had CBT has it been one to one?
CBT is another issue - this is NOT CBT , it is relaxation/stress control learning sessions.
You are turning down something that you could do in addition to CBT, and not even for any valid reasons to be frank.
CBT is another issue - this is NOT CBT , it is relaxation/stress control learning sessions.
Again I was told I would get CBT so they told a lie.
Well, you know what, this isn't the first time you have been told about relaxation methods and that they would help you. You previous psychiatrist said the same, and mentioned videos and stuff. You know, could it possibly be that 'they' think this would be more benefical to you ???
In a nutshell, you aren't going to go and learn relaxation /stress control techniques, even though you know you struggle with relaxation and being stressed, because they 'lied to you'.
Well, you know what, this isn't the first time you have been told about relaxation methods and that they would help you. You previous psychiatrist said the same, and mentioned videos and stuff. You know, could it possibly be that 'they' think this would be more benefical to you ???
Yes absolute garbage all this relaxation non sense. Sure it may help anxiety but for ocd it’s utterly hopeless. I feel let down but I move on. If I have to pay for more CBT so be it atleast I am paying for a service which I feel is beneficial to me.
Yes absolute garbage all this relaxation non sense
This has nothing to do with it being a group or anything like that, you have set your mind on something and are unable to even contemplate that 'they' might be offering something useful. YOu've tried CBT a few times, under your own steam, and its failed. However, if you are talking about booking your own CBT, then this could have been additional. I give up. I totally give up. Your mind is entirely shut.
This has nothing to do with it being a group or anything like that, you have set your mind on something and are unable to even contemplate that 'they' might be offering something useful. YOu've tried CBT a few times, under your own steam, and its failed. However, if you are talking about booking your own CBT, then this could have been additional. I give up. I totally give up. Your mind is entirely shut.
I was told if I do this course I can’t do private CBT that’s what they told me anyway
I was told if I do this course I can’t do private CBT that’s what they told me anyway
That makes no sense at all. Nobody can stop you booking anything privately.
That makes no sense at all. Nobody can stop you booking anything privately.
I mean two therapies can interfere with each other it’s quite common but I am surprised they would say this given it’s a group course. Funny there is a 15 month waiting list for this yet they offer NHS courses same thing with no waiting time really puzzles me.
It may be best if you ask for some stress control techniques from a private therapist of your choice? Prioritise this area because otherwise there will be too much to take in. You aren't going to accept what is offered to you on the NHS so why not take back control and do some research to find a different therapist from last time and a fresh but concrete approach to managing your anxieties with a definitive area to target?
MyNameIsTerry
04-03-20, 21:17
Well, you know what, this isn't the first time you have been told about relaxation methods and that they would help you. You previous psychiatrist said the same, and mentioned videos and stuff. You know, could it possibly be that 'they' think this would be more benefical to you ???
In a nutshell, you aren't going to go and learn relaxation /stress control techniques, even though you know you struggle with relaxation and being stressed, because they 'lied to you'.
That's the one I was talking about, when the psychiatrist offered it.
MyNameIsTerry
04-03-20, 21:19
Yes absolute garbage all this relaxation non sense. Sure it may help anxiety but for ocd it’s utterly hopeless. I feel let down but I move on. If I have to pay for more CBT so be it atleast I am paying for a service which I feel is beneficial to me.
That's incorrect. It has helped me and many others on here alone. And we aren't talking about structured therapy but learning it ourselves.
MyNameIsTerry
04-03-20, 21:21
I mentioned a few weeks back they referred me for CBT they offered a relaxation class I declined. Got a letter today about it they said call to confirm so I called and they took my details said they would call back but never did. I got a letter with it saying it would be a classroom set up 7 sessions it wasn’t group based but it said all chairs face the front? It says the course teaches stress control.
I asked them if it was group based the person on the phone had little idea. I am disappointed if it is group based and I doubt I would want to go. I was hoping for one to one CBT which is did privately. It shows the lack of resources on my area if it is group based. Money is tight right now so can’t instantly book more private CBT but I may have to consider in a few months going private again. I feel let down by the NHS near me I once did have one to one seasons but when I was 16. It’s very disappointing if I have to spend more money.
Please clarify this, phil. I read the above as you declined a relaxation course, they accepted that and now sent you a letter for group CBT.
Clarification definitely needed. Its a confusing few sentences.
To be fair, I would also instantly decline group therapy, yet could talk online all day... I don’t think they are the same by all means (and I go to cbt)
Update
I have had a reduction in anxiety and panic past few days by reading appropriate books and doing videos to help.
Naturally as the anxiety pulls back the ocd thoughts returned like the birthday night out/sharing it on social media, worries about not adding some people on social media and also the wheelie bin in my front garden. I did receive advice on these but sadly they keep popping back up.
So what I have learned is with anxiety the ocd is less prominent and when the anxiety is low the ocd is high. It’s a bit of a cycle so what I need is when the anxiety is beaten or is low, find a way for the ocd to vanish if this was to happen I would have little anxiety or obsessive behaviour. I have discussed stuff like exposure therapy is not really a good solution for me. I have beaten ocd in the past but my anxiety has never been fully low for about 2 years now. I have accepted I won’t be moving house anytime soon the property market will prob take a hit anyway with the virus. So the trigger was moving house twice that set my ocd to a new level.
I need some key help in dealing with the obsessional thoughts when I think the garden is contaminated logically I just can’t go out and rub my fingers in the garden. I would settle for no longer seeing it as a threat or a worry on my mind I mean people without ocd don’t really wanna rub there fingers in dirt. So any advice would be grateful..
Also in CBT terms my GP said mental health takes a back seat, psychiatrists have been redeployed to the virus in my area which is worrying. The CBT is likely canned anyway I could go private again only when the virus is over. So I have to relay on books I’m afraid
I also need to be realistic about my goals without anxiety I would drive, fly round the world, perhaps work as a manager, post stuff on social media without feeling anxiety, visit the cinema more, learn a new skill or go to college but I have anxiety so I have been weighing up if I need to put myself under this pressure if I need to do all these goals. I heard anxiety is just a sensation so it’s only that feeling of going mad or panic stopping me. I’m not sure I want to take risks flying or driving and putting myself more at risk with statistics perhaps I could fly once in a blue moon to reduce my anxiety but limit it?
Nobody is gonna be flying anywhere for quite some time Phil......
Nobody is gonna be flying anywhere for quite some time Phil......
Course but when it’s over I have to figure out how I can fly to New York it even short haul. You can do an online course but I grudge spending the cash perhaps eventually I will give it a go?
I got a letter from the doctors saying the psychiatrist will no longer be seeing me no idea how long this is for but it seems to go with what they are saying mental health takes a back seat which I think is pretty bad. I wonder if others are also no longer getting appointments or cbt ect?
It might just be that doctor. I’m sure there a plenty of others doing work remotely.
But also, you are at home signed off from work with lots of time on your hands. Why don’t you start helping yourself and not wait around for someone else?
It might just be that doctor. I’m sure there a plenty of others doing work remotely.
But also, you are at home signed off from work with lots of time on your hands. Why don’t you start helping yourself and not wait around for someone else?
True but I only have one more day off and I have to go back to work my worry is the anxiety will return?
MyNameIsTerry
01-04-20, 21:35
Everything is taking a back seat. We have a national emergency right now and the NHS are swamped. Remember a psychiatrist was first trained as any other doctor therefore they can redeploy them anywhere any non specialised doctor could go.
Everyone is in the same boat. Regular appointments have been cancelled, follow ups are on hold, hospitals are cancelling appointments. They need all the staff they can get and don't forget some of them may be off sick due to this virus and the NHS have to plug that gap.
True but I only have one more day off and I have to go back to work my worry is the anxiety will return?
So make your last day off count.
Yep, everything is on hold, including my yearly cancer follow-up mammo and appointment. I understand why, it makes sense, deal with the critical and chronic situation first. Its the way it is Phil for most people at the moment.
my worry is the anxiety will return?
But has it ever left Phil?
I admit these issues have been troubling me a lot the bins the thoughts creep back. I am still worrying over flying again or driving. The social media one has been eating away at me daily right now I worry I have to delete certain pictures of me I had an old email address on Facebook so I worried about that. I mentioned before how I wouldn’t post about my partners birthday night out and then it became I would ocd about who I would add now my anxiety has moved onto existing friends. I try and ignore most of this mind jargon. When my ocd says avoid or don’t do something I just avoid it to stop the anxiety. For example people here said quit social media I’m not sure that’s the right advice to be honest as I would be isolated I seem unable to beat my social media fears. For example my boss mentioned how I slagged Poundland online but he doesn’t even have social media so it makes me worry who sees this stuff?
I am on a path to not using social media not by a lifestyle choice but my anxiety meaning I ocd about every person or aspect. It’s very deliberating having to live this way for example I had a dream about one of the singers at my partners birthday so my ocd says that’s another reason not to post about it. Sure I know it’s not wise to post everything on social media but I feel a degree of it you can post sensibly.
Basically I over think. Stuff which caused me no anxiety months ago is worrying me now. I feel I have to just not add people that worry me or I choose not to fly but the carrot grows and I see others flying or I have people I won’t add it becomes very limiting. I have no idea why social media bothers me more than ever and unsure what the trigger was. Can anybody help? I worry about stuff being tainted..it seems stuff I use to do now troubles me
MyNameIsTerry
04-04-20, 04:12
My stance has always been if you avoid something due to fear you have to accept that you feeding your subconscious feedback to keep that fear in play. Until you work on that fear whether through something like exposure or retraining you leave a foundation of irrational fear.
It's like the alcohol debate we've seen on here many times. Some say avoid it as you don't need it but I disagree with this. Avoiding it because you are afraid of it is not tackling anxiety. Changing how you feel about it so that you no longer fear it but choose not to have it in your life does both. That's the difference between avoidance and what is called adaptive behaviour.
The same with social media.
This is why I always disagree with those that say you can cut the media or Dr Google out of your life. You may need to do it for a time whilst you work in recovery but part of the end goal is to be able to normalize behaviour so that these are no longer triggering for you and you can choose whether to use them or not with negative reactions.
When you slated off Poundland you must have done it on your name or told people connected to your work. As a consumer you can slag they off if you don't work there. Your manager may view why you were doing it and wonder what you think of them. But managers shouldn't be do naive as to think employees don't complain...managers do plenty of it themselves.
The problem is everything about social media is troubling me from adding people to posting. Often I do a post then remove it this is how my ocd is operating. Again I go back to why did I once have no anxiety or ocd over it to now suffering? Same goes for bin germs. This wasn’t always an issue it’s been one thats developed. If I quit social media the anxiety would win. My brother is single and I worried if I add his new partner when he gets one I worry I spoke to them before and they are tainted and if I add them I worry it taints my character or it’s some how making me feel bad. It’s a complicated issue and I have no idea where this came from? I can add the social media anxiety first came in 2018 when I worried about posting about Amsterdam. At the time I said to myself this is stupid now to share a nice holiday I had to push through the anxiety about it worrying about stereotypes and In the end I did post. However I have in past two months avoided adding people, never posted a gig I went to and it’s starting to become a real issue for me. Again this goes back to how the anxiety limits my life. So what do I do? Post little, add few people and I’m ok then it’s something else?
I've answered about social media Phil before, its a life choice, you don't have to do it - if you gain nothing positive from it, then don't do it.
You have the free will and choice to continue to receive and view posts on social media you want to see or not see. Mental illness or not, it really is that simple. At this point, my Facebook feed is my family, music, guitars and cats. The rest gets blocked or snoozed so there you go! :yesyes: The beauty of social media and Google is you have the choice to use it or not.
Positive thoughts
The only way I can see through this is to do what I feel. The anxiety does stop me doing lots like flying driving or social media but perhaps I just have to manage it and deal with what I can do? There is stuff I can do I never thought I would do so perhaps it may change in the future? Perhaps i need to accept things as they are and what I am comfortable with? I can push through it and do stuff sometimes but in other times it’s maybe best I just let the anxiety win or look at it it’s my way of coping with what I am at ease with?
When I was single in the past I worried I had spoke to the person before but now my brother is single this has brought the worry back and my ocd says if I add his new partner when he gets one im tainted or if I was ever single again and got someone new I would be worried id spoke to them before as on dating sites it’s easy to talk to 100’s. Sure I may never be single again but this all links in with my social media anxiety. On a positive I did manage to add someone new from work today without worrying
I am terrible for worrying about hypothetical situations
I don’t really see what you need help with Phil. Sorry.
venusbluejeans
07-04-20, 00:02
I can't understand the point you are trying to make at all, so not sure how people can answer it
I don't understand either, the point you are making/asking about Phil. Can I make a suggestion that might help ? If you use some punctuation, maybe the meaning will be clearer. I don't say this to come across as the grammar police, but just that if everything is written like a chain of thoughts, with no division to help the reader, its a bit tricky to understand.
My false thoughts have returned tonight I cleaned my toilet and I washed my hands with some soap the toilet had some dirty toilet marks and my ocd says I used my hand soap which I put up on the counter even when I never. Usually I would just replace the hand soap but it’s in short supply so I’ve had to use it so I worry poop germs are on my mobile phone and anything I touch. I’ve had similar issues with the garden I won’t do the weeds due to worrying about the wheelie bin ending up in my front garden.
My ocd has not been made worse by Corona I don’t sanitizers my hands or wash them anymore but I do have these typical worries which come up on a regular basis.
My other worry is about people being tainted. I worry I have spoke to them before so they are tainted. So if my brother gets a new partner or do in future I worry I have spoke to them before and it’s tainted but I couldn’t stay single nor can my brother
How does your mental illness affect you in real life with these types of irrational thoughts that appear to be constantly bombarding you? I know you're in a relationship, own a home, work etc. but how do these thoughts, other than the monetary impact, affect your day to day life?
Positive thoughts
How does your mental illness affect you in real life with these types of irrational thoughts that appear to be constantly bombarding you? I know you're in a relationship, own a home, work etc. but how do these thoughts, other than the monetary impact, affect your day to day life?
Positive thoughts
I often mention them to my partner but only occasionally as she doesn’t get my anxiety. It doesn’t affect me too much to be honest other than my avoidance of flying or driving. I use to avoid much more but less so now. It affects me often as I sit down and relax at night whilst on social media I can have these worries or a worry time and the thoughts are on my mind. When I am at work I am less focused on this. I often find stuff that never troubled me years ago troubles me more now. The simplest thing can set off a panic attack.
My anxiety and ocd has been high since I moved house. That was two years ago I can pin point it to that as before I had spells it less anxiety. I admit I could do more to tackle my anxiety like healthy eating or relaxation but I only actually do these when my anxiety is very bad. But no I would say it only impacts my life in terms of I sit worrying on forums all night..
But no I would say it only impacts my life in terms of I sit worrying on forums all night..
Thank you. I appreciate your honesty. It gave me affirmation.
Positive thoughts
And there you have it...The dangers of forums and the "opportunities" they provide for introspection and rumination when used inappropriately.
My ocd has been much worse again lately. I have had increased false thoughts but I’ve had this before and it goes away. Usually there is a trigger but would coronavirus be that trigger?
Another trigger has been I ordered an item on eBay and I click and collected at Argos only they closed so it got sent back but the seller won’t refund so I am worried I have lost over £100 pounds
Well eBay will refunds you, don’t worry about that.
MyNameIsTerry
10-04-20, 21:05
If you ordered after the lockdown you will likely not get a refund on postage. You will get the item price back though. Just advance it onto the dispute stage and let them tell the seller what is expected.
Thanks it’s now with PayPal who seem to take a while that’s what worries me PayPal told me to go to my bank
MyNameIsTerry
10-04-20, 21:33
You just raise a dispute on Ebay and they do the rest. You don't go through PayPal anymore, that changed years ago.
I suggest you check the dispute articles on Ebay. It's very easy, the options are next to the item your bought on your purchased items page.
First you try the seller. There is a timescale quoted before referring to Ebay.
Try all that first. Trying to perform an indemnity claim or claw back via your bank might not be so simple.
But did you buy this during the lockdown?
You just raise a dispute on Ebay and they do the rest. You don't go through PayPal anymore, that changed years ago.
I suggest you check the dispute articles on Ebay. It's very easy, the options are next to the item your bought on your purchased items page.
First you try the seller. There is a timescale quoted before referring to Ebay.
Try all that first. Trying to perform an indemnity claim or claw back via your bank might not be so simple.
But did you buy this during the lockdown?
Yes I bought it in error and cancelled but the seller sent anyway. I was advised to open a PayPal case on eBay message boards but I have been told that was not a good idea so eBay won’t deal with it now sadly.
But yes back to my ocd I believe it’s got worse but it’s due to these stresses I lost £50 with concert tickets last year it was not a lot of money but I had to call the bank lots. I have had ocd lately like lies saying I have blurted something silly out on social media about me in the past which isn’t true but this is how my ocd is operating trying to make me fear my character or taint me. Everything I do right now is about tainting. I touched on it before how I worry about who I add on Facebook. It got so bad I had to remove some friends as I worried they were tainted. If my brother gets a new partner I worry she is tainted and I spoke to her before on a dating site this is what my ocd is saying. Sure I may never have spoke to her..I use to have this worry with dating sites until I met my partner. My ocd has been focused on hypothetical situations a few months ago I mentioned buying a new sofa how this would stress me out. I wish I could some now feel better but each day my mind finds new puzzles to create..
I am keen to take a step back from social media or talk if dating sites as they caused me great anxiety I had used dating sites whilst I was in a relationship which I mentioned months ago but it seemed to make my social media anxiety worse.
I have also become obsessed with going by to New York to the degree I even worry I have to move there. I like big sky lines like on canvas pictures and worry living in the UK doesn’t cut it anymore. Sounds trivial but I have a fear of long haul travel on planes so I worry I may never get there but I some how live on hope of faster planes or perhaps I may have to just stick to Europe. I went to Italy but I still ocd that I never went to Rome yet. So yes my travel anxiety is still bad despite the travel ban.
I have been to two European cities with high rise but not many have sky lines as good as Dubai or NYC.
Another trigger for my possible worse ocd is at work I have a work t shirt with a small hole and that’s bad for my ocd..sure I have a couple of other t shirts but I have been told no new uniform until 2021 won’t help with the coronavirus situation either doubt any will be made
MyNameIsTerry
11-04-20, 04:43
Who told you Ebay won't deal with your case?
I have also become obsessed with going by to New York to the degree I even worry I have to move there. I like big sky lines like on canvas pictures and worry living in the UK doesn’t cut it anymore. Sounds trivial but I have a fear of long haul travel on planes so I worry I may never get there but I some how live on hope of faster planes or perhaps I may have to just stick to Europe. I went to Italy but I still ocd that I never went to Rome yet. So yes my travel anxiety is still bad despite the travel ban.
I have been to two European cities with high rise but not many have sky lines as good as Dubai or NYC.
Honestly with all your anxieties I really don’t think you would handle Dubai or NYC Been to Dubai and even I was anxious being covered in Tatts and swear a lot my anxiety was through the roof
:scared15:
Who told you Ebay won't deal with your case?
Ebay said as I opened a PayPal one they won’t help now which is no use
Honestly with all your anxieties I really don’t think you would handle Dubai or NYC Been to Dubai and even I was anxious being covered in Tatts and swear a lot my anxiety was through the roof
:scared15:
Well the issue is flight time or flying I can’t even take short haul right now due to my anxieties
I am keen to take a step back from social media or talk if dating sites as they caused me great anxiety I had used dating sites whilst I was in a relationship which I mentioned months ago but it seemed to make my social media anxiety worse.
Woooah, hold on, only just read this........you are married and are on dating sites ???
MyNameIsTerry
11-04-20, 15:45
Ebay said as I opened a PayPal one they won’t help now which is no use
To be honest, I would raise it and see if they did.
If you buy on Ebay you always use that site, not PayPal. Since PayPal don't return money they are pretty pointless. Ebay on the other hand give the money back and chase the seller for their refund.
So now you are stuck with filing a clawback through the card issuer. It should be simple in the case of a seller not providing the agreed service. The seller can't keep someone's money when they haven't delivered the item.
The social media thing has been troubling me for some months. Today I worried an ex partner could come and work at my work again as she worked there before and my friend list could become tainted. I seen somebody on a social media site at a city I visited and I worry if i go back to the city and post a picture it’s tainted. Again I also worry about my partners birthday I worry I spoke to the singers partner or one of the other singers on a dating site. It all goes back to everything being tainted. I also worry about adding my brothers future partner has anybody got any advice other than “avoid social media” as clearly this is more related to stuff being tainted I have the exact feeling about my front garden with the bin. Maybe Terry can help as mentioned before about how the tainted thing has bothered me for years. I spoke about how the germs were never the issue. I worry my character is tainted or my social media appearance I’m not sure where it roots from but for example I put on Facebook I got a new musical instrument and people took the crap out me so that’s an example of how social media affects me. Sure that never made things tainted but I worry I spoke to a person before they could taint my friend list and spread false stories. Can anybody help with this tainted thing? I also had a dream I spoke to one of the singers on a dating site but this was a false dream and I’ve been confusing it with real life
"Tainted" to you means "it doesn't feel right" and this unsettles you. Everything must be "just right" or else the doubts and worries will creep in and your day will be ruined as you have lost control. You have no control over others' reactions or responses on social media so this makes you very anxious although you can't do without the interaction online because it's the "thing to do". Every time you post it's a gamble though as you risk being unsettled.
That's just my take on it but I'm probably way off the mark
"Tainted" to you means "it doesn't feel right" and this unsettles you. Everything must be "just right" or else the doubts and worries will creep in and your day will be ruined as you have lost control. You have no control over others' reactions or responses on social media so this makes you very anxious although you can't do without the interaction online because it's the "thing to do". Every time you post it's a gamble though as you risk being unsettled.
That's just my take on it but I'm probably way off the mark
I agree where you are coming from it does unsettle me. Normally posts don’t trouble me too much but it’s this tainted thing I can’t understand some suggested it’s a form of perfectionism. As I say it’s now resulting in me deleting or not adding people. I believe getting worked up about not posting about my partners birthday added fuel to the fire so to speak. I have so many angles to it from worrying about people seeing it’s a special birthday or her age to the worries about if I spoke to them before which is unlikely but it’s one of those hypothetical ones where I go with I must have anyway. I wish I could post as my friends would probably want to see there pictures but it’s the anxiety. Worst case I have to private message any pictures.
A few weeks ago I posted a cd of the singer going to the night out in a hope this would ease my anxiety it did a little but I said even though I posted that I don’t need to post the rest.
Update
I did manage to do the weeds in front gardens bad news is I am disposing if a belt into quarantine and also I had to shower due to bin geek worries. Sure I touched my strimmer which touched the ground where the bottom of the garden is I came in and touched my phone after that however the front garden is a different story. I also never seen my partner wash her hands after the garden so worry about the door handles again. Perhaps I can use the belt again but it will be difficult to do so. I worry about the door handle aswell but I have been having these situations occur daily right now. I worry when something happens and I won’t use it..
Social media is more the issue at the moment. It’s this tainted character issue I have. For example I seen a photograph with a certain hair style at a tourist sight I posted about this in 2019 on my holiday but my anxiety says if I revisit and post a picture here I am tainted and I will feel bad about myself or some how worry that hair style represents that photo and everybody can see it?
I know that is very silly but this is how bad my ocd is. I understand I could totally avoid social media but I worry the more I avoid posting the worse it will become and maybe one day I will be so crippled by it I can’t post? With my partners birthday I actually have two ocd worries going on the worry I have spoke to the singer before or a dream I spoke to them on a dating site vs the worry people will see her age on Facebook so my ocd says don’t post it atall. The worry I have spoke to the singer is a feeling of I will be tainted if I post it. Sure even if I some how did speak to them before nobody would know but the reality is I feel tainted disgusted or spoiled within myself. In another topic someone mentioned perfectionism.
I have a genuine concern the garden is tainted by the wheelie bin and if I touch it I need to shower and also I worry if I have a thought about social media a few examples I said above it means to post I would be tainted. One of the singers coming to my partners birthday I shared his video via twitter but refused to via Facebook as twitter caused me less anxiety I have no idea. Can’t understand the psychology behind what I am thinking?
So my question is a direct one when I believe something is tainted me or a garden what’s the correct thing to do?
1. Touch the garden and continue to post on social media about the event or the photo of the city
2. Post but hide it away at the bottom of the album
3. Don’t post anything and let the ocd win. Or just say social media isn’t for me use it less and move on with life.
4. Delay showering after the garden or delay posting or removing the post to see how long I have anxiety for.
So there is a few options I just wondering what’s the right one perhaps there is more than one correct answer can anybody offer some help?
Phil, they aren’t tainted. The only thing you shouldn’t be doing on social media is trolling, giving out personal details, slagging off your work.
This fear you have is the same as your wheelie bin one. Ignore it, it’s a fear not a fact.
Phil, they aren’t tainted. The only thing you shouldn’t be doing on social media is trolling, giving out personal details, slagging off your work.
This fear you have is the same as your wheelie bin one. Ignore it, it’s a fear not a fact.
Thanks I have worried they are tainted for a while but the list is ever growing. And yes I understand I shouldn’t slag the work off on social media. I realise it’s fine to post the other stuff on social media but I worry my character is tainted. I know if I post about my partners birthday I risk suffering anxiety. Logically it’s just pictures of people but my anxiety that I spoke to them before burns me up and I worry the singer is tainted. Outside that I dislike special birthdays being put on Facebook. The result means friends and family can’t see these birthday pictures and may miss out. When I post on social media it has to feel “just right” now. I know this feeling all too well from 2017 when I got new windows and suffered bad anxiety. This has spiralled to changing door handles and iron boards to returning items and making sure everything feels just right.
I believe getting stuff like hand washing under control has been easier than the tainted behaviours..
I have been feeling anxious about the social media thing as a the ocd thoughts repeat round and round so I end up feeling stressed how can I stop this?
What does "tainted" mean to you? "Spoiled"?
What does "tainted" mean to you? "Spoiled"?
It means the garden for example will never feel the same again. I will have recurring thoughts that it’s spoiled and it’s no longer got a clean, new feeling. And same with social media I feel my character is tainted or I have visual images of a landmark and that hair style and I worry if I post that picture I will have the image everybody can see that hair style. Sounds strange but this is the jargon my mind makes up. The don’t just go away over time sadly
I am struggling as I can’t shut these thoughts out so I find it hard to deal with
5008Here is a bin that you would like Phill.:yesyes:A nice LV.
It means the garden for example will never feel the same again. I will have recurring thoughts that it’s spoiled and it’s no longer got a clean, new feeling. And same with social media I feel my character is tainted or I have visual images of a landmark and that hair style and I worry if I post that picture I will have the image everybody can see that hair style. Sounds strange but this is the jargon my mind makes up. The don’t just go away over time sadly
I am struggling as I can’t shut these thoughts out so I find it hard to deal with
Yet you say that your anxiety has little impact on your day to day life and you find that ruminating on forums at night makes everything seem worse?
Yet you say that your anxiety has little impact on your day to day life and you find that ruminating on forums at night makes everything seem worse?
When I am working my anxiety and ocd is lower at the moment. However I’d say I have a day off work especially at the moment when I can’t go out much I worry about the same issues which have troubled me for a while. Sometimes the anxiety is manageable and I can do a relaxation other times my anxiety is a bit high and I can’t relax atall. Sometimes the anxiety goes but the ocd doesn’t or the ocd does but anxiety doesn’t never too at same time right now. The tainted issues seems to be very bad at the moment.
Another tainted issue is a year ago I spoke to another women when I was with my partner so my worry is the relationship is tainted as I said I liked the other women even though I never found her attractive can anybody offer any advice?
The social media is an issue for being tainted and also my garden I still feel disgusted the wheelie bin was In my front garden.
Can these tainted feelings really be beaten? Can I really take back control and no wonder worry or do I have to keep on managing these feelings?
Unfortunately, you have severe OCD issues and problems will resurface even after periods of remission. It's an ongoing battle for all of us, regardless of mental illness "type", and sometimes "managing" our condition is all we can do.
I’ve had this issue for around a year perhaps two. It’s at a point where I send a friend request and cancel in fear I spoke to them before on a dating site. People from work ect. Or I have had to delete friends as I worry they are tainted. I had bad ocd about sharing about my partners birthday as I never wanted people to see it was a special birthday and also I worried I’d spoke to the singers before. The anxiety is crippling I worry about adding or sharing and it makes me worry all day. Sure I could quit social media this may help but the anxiety wins. I’m unable to sit with the anxiety which is quite awful. Perhaps I have to limit who I add and live with the anxiety I have most of my family and close friends I guess that’s all that matters. However I feel a bit down that I worry about adding new people or sharing stuff or people being tainted. I worry my own wife is tainted as I spoke to another women last year so worry the relationship is tainted. Can anybody help? I worry how cancelling friend requests or deleting people looks on my part when nobody knows I have anxiety?
Phil, yes lots of people can help and they already have. You’re not dealing with it, you’re just hoping it’ll get better on it’s own or that someone will give you an easy fix. There’s no easy fix. Go back read through the thread again and see what you can apply to your situation.
Yes basically I never use to have anxiety about social media or flying two years ago and both I have struggled with since. I know I could reread stuff but there is so much information to read. In the past I had triggers like moving house but now I have very little going on In my life to have anxiety. That said something like coronavirus doesn’t help as I can’t keep busy and go on days out.
I have been trying not to set unrealistic goals right now and say stuff can wait until later. I had been prone to tackle more after moving house and getting married but perhaps I need to take stock of what I have done and realise I don’t have to push for more and maybe I need to stick to my comfort zone? I am very demanding of myself again I never use to be quite so bad I do remember feeling “content”?
The social media thing has been fuelled by dating sites and trying to impress with footballers or the fancy holidays. In the end it’s just made me more anxious. I actually haven’t posted on social media in over a month I am keen to use it as read only mode so to speak. I feel rather than quit I could instead quit new postings or adding people?
Part of not feeling content came from seeing others on social media with bigger houses or posher holidays that increased my demands of myself.. can I ever feel content again I feel if I am content I could suffer less anxiety?
nomorepanic
21-04-20, 23:50
Why are you on dating sites?
You need to get some online help or a book on OCD and start working through it. This seems out of control to me and you don't seem to want to do any self-help
Yes basically I never use to have anxiety about social media or flying two years ago and both I have struggled with since. I know I could reread stuff but there is so much information to read. In the past I had triggers like moving house but now I have very little going on In my life to have anxiety. That said something like coronavirus doesn’t help as I can’t keep busy and go on days out.
I have been trying not to set unrealistic goals right now and say stuff can wait until later. I had been prone to tackle more after moving house and getting married but perhaps I need to take stock of what I have done and realise I don’t have to push for more and maybe I need to stick to my comfort zone? I am very demanding of myself again I never use to be quite so bad I do remember feeling “content”?
The social media thing has been fuelled by dating sites and trying to impress with footballers or the fancy holidays. In the end it’s just made me more anxious. I actually haven’t posted on social media in over a month I am keen to use it as read only mode so to speak. I feel rather than quit I could instead quit new postings or adding people?
Part of not feeling content came from seeing others on social media with bigger houses or posher holidays that increased my demands of myself.. can I ever feel content again I feel if I am content I could suffer less anxiety?
If it’s too much effort for you to read back on the advice already freely given, then it might be too much effort to reply to you anymore?
Stop avoiding, start taking action.
I asked the same Nicola, a few pages ago.....asking why Phil was on dating sites when he was married only a year ago (or was it two years, losing track now). Phil didn't answer my question though.
Why are you on dating sites?
I brought this up when I saw Phil post about dating sites and talking to another woman on another OCD site just before the wedding that was causing him anxiety. Got a raft of poo about doing it so.... :whistles: Anyway... :lac:
Probably difficult to break old habits and routines..
Yes I admit that I have issues with ocd and need to do more self help. I had advice elsewhere online to quit social media but I don’t quite agree this is the cure as its ocd I have issues with. I was able to fly and use social media in the past only two years ago without anxiety. It’s not a long standing issue so surely I should be giving in so easy? I have decided it’s best I avoid posting or adding people for a little while as often it clears my head. I have felt very guilty about trying to add people and cancelling the request due to my self doubt that I will be tainted. I realised today I already think some friends on Facebook are tainted but I am able to live with that feeling got anxiety where as adding somebody causes a little more anxiety. But yes obviously I could stay off dating apps to avoid this but again the issue lies with my ocd.
At the moment I am managing my ocd on a daily basis. Even if I quit social media my ocd would move onto something else. Perhaps the ocd will win and I won’t post about the birthday night out. Perhaps I won’t add friends for a while. However this is avoidance and I know it won’t help but again I can’t keep adding and cancelling requests either. I do feel I need to clear my head a bit. I am not expecting to be cured overnight but I have to move from managing it on a daily basis to “coping” as in making choices to add people without worrying I am tainted surely this is a realistic goal?
Phil, what the everloving eff are you doing on dating apps?
Phil, what the everloving eff are you doing on dating apps?
Its not recent but I mentioned a year ago I spoke to somebody but it means I worry I spoke to others before so worry about Facebook more so it hasn’t helped
Has it occurred to you that being on dating apps as an engaged or married man might be, well, something a horrible person would do?
Has it occurred to you that being on dating apps as an engaged or married man might be, well, something a horrible person would do?
My partner found out about the dating app thing years ago. My issue is the anxiety I have with social media
I think your anxiety is the least of your problems, and that you need to work on your basic human decency.
Do you understand that it's not appropriate to be on dating apps when you are newly married and supposedly committed to a solid relationship? Do you understand how others-including your wife-may view this? It's not about YOU feeling "tainted" because your behaviour is tainted in many people's eyes.
Do you understand that it's not appropriate to be on dating apps when you are newly married and supposedly committed to a solid relationship? Do you understand how others-including your wife-may view this? It's not about YOU feeling "tainted" because your behaviour is tainted in many people's eyes.
Well I’m not here for a chat about my personal life to be honest. I never said anything is right however I am here as I need help for my ocd and anxiety when I can’t add Facebook friends or make a post due to anxiety this is where I need some help
Why would anybody want to help you when you behave in this way?
Why would anybody want to help you when you behave in this way?
Well I had this discussion before and if people choose not to reply they can always skip the topic. I have never heard if somebody tells a lie or cheats they can’t use a forum. I am here to talk about my anxiety not morals, my personal private life, my job or anything like that. I am here to discuss ocd and anxiety that’s all.
I am here to talk about my anxiety not morals, my personal private life, my job or anything like that.
The irony......
...and yet Phil, you do often and have for years, many threads worth. You come here and talk about your private life, in great detail, your job, in great detail, and everything about your life - but when people bring up the 'morals' involved you shut it down. You have laid out all parts of your thinking in minutea for 14 years (?) and so to be honest people can question you in response. Thats the way it works. There is a bottom line here Phil, you only want to talk about exactly what you want to talk about, you only want to hear exactly what you want to hear. You always shut down challenges, questions you don't like and anything which doesn't suit your preferences. You are constantly trying to control other peoples' responses, and yet expect help and advice - but only on your terms.
Perhaps you could actually think about the issue of why you are on a dating site when recently married, and how that comes across to your wife and others ?
...and yet Phil, you do often (and have for years, many threads worth) come here and talk about your private life, in detail, your job, in detail, and when people bring up the 'morals' involved you shut it down. You have laid out all parts of your thinking in minutea for 14 years (?) and so to be honest people can question you in response. Thats the way it works. There is a bottom line here Phil, you only want to talk about exactly what you want to talk about, you only want to hear exactly what you want to hear. You always shut down challenges, questions you don't like and anything which doesn't suit your preferences.
Yes because it doesn’t fit with the forum to discuss dating sites that’s not why the site exists. I take blame for mentioning it however it fits in to my social media anxiety and what goes on in my head. I would rather not have the anxiety however I set all these goals and targets I believe this is where my anxiety stems from.
Do you not see how hard you make it for people to want to help you?
Yes because it doesn’t fit with the forum to discuss dating sites that’s not why the site exists.
...but it does exist to discuss bins, birthday parties, footballers, social media, weddings, other members of your family, phones at work, blah blah etc. (x14 years) No Phil, this is you choosing what you do and don't want people to respond to.
It's all about controlling people's responses and you can't do this on social media hence the anxiety
It's all about controlling people's responses and you can't do this on social media hence the anxiety
No that’s totally off the ball.
Its because I feel somebody is tainted or I worry if I spoke to the person before I am tainted if I add them and when I browse the friend list my urge is to delete the person to feel relief or clean. This has only been an issue in last year or two maybe less perhaps about six months.
After reading your responses Phil? :huh: I have no words..... Well I do, but probably best to keep those to myself :whistles:
FMP
MyNameIsTerry
23-04-20, 05:02
Phil,
Forgetting the whole issue of dating apps being inappropriate for any man or woman in a steady relationship, much less married, it is an area you can close down as it's irrelevant to you now. That's not anxiety winning, it's sensible. You won't tackle the anxiety around social media by doing this but there are more appropriate social media outlets where you can which will be enough.
However, and perhaps we all should think about this, if your wife is actually fine with it then that's between you two and not for us to judge. Married couples get up to far more that is mutually approved of. Just a thought....
No that’s totally off the ball.
Its because I feel somebody is tainted or I worry if I spoke to the person before I am tainted if I add them and when I browse the friend list my urge is to delete the person to feel relief or clean. This has only been an issue in last year or two maybe less perhaps about six months.
It doesn’t matter the length of time it’s been an issue for, it’s a new anxiety that needs to be treated and you need to treat it. You keep asking the same questions and we keep giving you the same answers.
Amazing posts by Carys & Terry.
Are some of us here on the forum Tainted? I know I am or is it just on social media.
Sometimes I feel I've got to get away, got to run away...
Lenny Kravitz,what a spunk.
Yep keep on running :D
Are some of us here on the forum Tainted? I know I am or is it just on social media.
That’s a good question. But no nobody here is tainted this is very much social media only. It’s perhaps because I worry about what others think as they know me on social media or I worry just own character is tainted
Do you actually know these people in real life?
Do you actually know these people in real life?
What a silly question I know each person I add otherwise I wouldn’t add them they are family or work people.
I have a question about my partners birthday night out obviously I had a topic on it and discussed it but it’s in a pub, probably can’t go ahead but we paid £200 pounds to the pub and the singer should I be asking for it back? My partner is too afraid to ask for it back as people will be struggling financially? And also I have to decide if I rearrange problem is we have no idea how long pubs will be closed for.
[QUOTE=phil06;1944119]What a silly question I know each person I add otherwise I wouldn’t add them they are family or work people.[/QUOT
Thanks for educating me.
I have a question about my partners birthday night out obviously I had a topic on it and discussed it but it’s in a pub, probably can’t go ahead but we paid £200 pounds to the pub and the singer should I be asking for it back? My partner is too afraid to ask for it back as people will be struggling financially? And also I have to decide if I rearrange problem is we have no idea how long pubs will be closed for.
I don't think this is an appropriate question, so am not going to answer it. If you can choose what to discuss, which is of course entirely your prerogative! (despite having brought things up yourself), then we can choose what to discuss also.
What a terrible dilemma for you, Phil
What a terrible dilemma for you, Phil
Yes I can cancel it and pay the rest when I rearrange or ask for money back that’s my two options. Chances of it going ahead is zero as pubs won’t be open by the summer. It’s not a bad dilemma but I would feel bad requesting a refund.
MyNameIsTerry
23-04-20, 21:10
What a silly question I know each person I add otherwise I wouldn’t add them they are family or work people.
It's not a silly question. Many people add all & sundry to their social media friends to appear popular.
MyNameIsTerry
23-04-20, 21:12
Yes I can cancel it and pay the rest when I rearrange or ask for money back that’s my two options. Chances of it going ahead is zero as pubs won’t be open by the summer. It’s not a bad dilemma but I would feel bad requesting a refund.
Why wouldn't you want it back? The pub aren't going to be donating it to a good cause and may spend it on anything. Everyone has hard times but businesses aren't charity.
MyNameIsTerry
23-04-20, 21:13
It doesn’t matter the length of time it’s been an issue for, it’s a new anxiety that needs to be treated and you need to treat it. You keep asking the same questions and we keep giving you the same answers.
Amazing posts by Carys & Terry.
Thanks Scass.
MyNameIsTerry
23-04-20, 21:14
Are some of us here on the forum Tainted? I know I am or is it just on social media.
Is that a miss spelling? I know you are painted...:biggrin:
Phill 200 quid would go a long way towards a “fancy” house or a plane fare ticket to Trumpville.
I would ask for it back.
Terry I am painted,tainted and sainted :roflmao:
Phill 200 quid would go a long way towards a “fancy” house or a plane fare ticket to Trumpville.
I would ask for it back.
Terry I am painted,tainted and sainted :roflmao:
You are correct.
But can I just say it’s my wife’s money not my money as she paid the deposits for her night out. But I guess I still have a duty to ask for it back given I arranged some of it. It looks unlikely to go ahead sure I can rebook next year but I may have to ask for money back incase pubs ect don’t reopen
Back to the social media thing a friend I tried to add from work a few days ago that I cancelled I decided to try and add again. I decided to pick one that caused me lesser anxiety. I already think my partner is tainted as I spoke to other women so I realise I have to try and battle through the tainted feelings. I have to some how accept I never spoke to these people. I am at a stage where I believe everything my head makes up so I know I need to stop?
nomorepanic
24-04-20, 18:57
You are going round in circles with this Phil.
Why don't you just shut social media down, shut NMP down and sit and talk to your wife.
You are going round in circles with this Phil.
Why don't you just shut social media down, shut NMP down and sit and talk to your wife.
I agree we are going round in circles however closing things down would mean I have a much reduced contact with family and friends I use this as a vital tool to stay in touch with family. And also the forum is a useful tool for when I need support so closing this down would make my situation more limited and worse.
I agree we are going round in circles however closing things down would mean I have a much reduced contact with family and friends I use this as a vital tool to stay in touch with family. And also the forum is a useful tool for when I need support so closing this down would make my situation more limited and worse.
But you never take any notice of what people suggest? "Support" to you only means an audience for you to write about your worries and to ruminate at length which really is counter-productive. Actually talking to your wife and communicating with her and not AT her is what you need.
I would like to know - why is your wife tainted as you were talking to other women on a dating site ? WHy aren't YOU tainted.
I entirely agree with Pulisa Phil.
Thirded. No advice offered here seems to help, and the fact you view the person you voluntarily picked to be your life partner as tainted makes for very uncomfortable reading.
But you never take any notice of what people suggest? "Support" to you only means an audience for you to write about your worries and to ruminate at length which really is counter-productive. Actually talking to your wife and communicating with her and not AT her is what you need.
What makes you think I don’t talk to my wife? You do realise she doesn’t suffer anxiety so for people who don’t have it often don’t understand much about it.
I would like to know - why is your wife tainted as you were talking to other women on a dating site ? WHy aren't YOU tainted.
I entirely agree with Pulisa Phil.
She is tainted because I worry the rubbish I told the person a year ago she believed it was real and it wasn’t somebody I really liked so I worry it makes the relationship tainted
Thirded. No advice offered here seems to help, and the fact you view the person you voluntarily picked to be your life partner as tainted makes for very uncomfortable reading.
Yes but I made things tainted it wouldn’t matter who I married if I had done similar they would also be tainted. I don’t mean it in a nasty way it may seem this way but in my head I view it was tainted. I mean I just cancelled the friend request for a 2nd time this is the nature of the anxiety and ocd. Today at work I put a product out in plastic wrapping and had to unwrap it from the shrink wrapper as I also felt it would be spoiled this is where I am with my ocd today
Why aren't YOU tainted, Phil?
nomorepanic
24-04-20, 20:06
You could try talking to your family in real life not on social media and nothing we say on here ever helps so why not take some time out and do some self help courses
Why aren't YOU tainted, Phil?
I have not thought about that but my garden is tainted as the wheelie bin was in my front garden. You may remember I bought 4/5 irons and iron boards and returned them all due to my ocd. I am still using the original one that caused me stress. So what I can say is I can get over some of it but often another issue pops up. The issue with stuff being tainted as I often don’t forget it but being honest I never thought about my partner being tainted until recently. I know I have a problem with the tainted feeling my therapist was unable to root out why I have these feelings. I am trying to find an understanding of my problem. Over on ocd sites they don’t believe it matters the reasons why I have the ocd..
You could try talking to your family in real life not on social media and nothing we say on here ever helps so why not take some time out and do some self help courses
Often it does help. I would like to credit Terry for helping along the years as I can definitely say the advice given has improved my thinking on my condition. There has been others who have offered good support too.
Why aren't YOU tainted, Phil?
After the recent posts, I've been thinking the same thing. "Taint" has to have a source. I have a feeling I know what it is.
Positive thoughts
After the recent posts, I've been thinking the same thing. "Taint" has to have a source. I have a feeling I know what it is.
Positive thoughts
Yes but I don’t seem to know the source and it’s me who thinks something is tainted
After the recent posts, I've been thinking the same thing. "Taint" has to have a source. I have a feeling I know what it is.
Positive thoughts
Think I know too but it wouldn't help to name it...
I fear I will never beat the fear my garden is tainted or dirty or the Facebook issue. I may forever have to worry about who I add or let the ocd win and not add them atall. If I add them I would suffer awful anxiety so it may not be worth it?
Phil you do know that these are all negative thoughts don’t you? That they aren’t real? That you have to fight back at them?
Really you just have to decide whether it’s worth letting your thoughts win or not.
Phil you do know that these are all negative thoughts don’t you? That they aren’t real? That you have to fight back at them?
Really you just have to decide whether it’s worth letting your thoughts win or not.
Yes I get that.
But nobody has really told me what to do with this issue some suggested come off Facebook but I have a few options
1. Come off social media (Could do but would restrict my contact as I use messenger and not SMS.)
2. Add the person but deal with the anxiety I suffer (This avoidance is how I get by at present..managing it so to speak)
3. Don’t add them as it will cause anxiety (It wouldn’t matter as I have majority of my family and friends on FB)
4. Delay adding them/delay deleting them (Not tried this one yet in fear I will delete, add delete in a loop)
I would be very interested to hear what people think the correct response is. I would also like to use the same approach for other worries like posting photos ect rather than adding friends as my thinking patterns are the same.
No you don’t know it then because your options are basically avoiding your problems.
Yes, option 2: Go ahead and add people. But ignore the negative thoughts and deal with the anxiety by mindfulness and relaxation techniques as well as the free cbt links that have been posted. You aren’t dealing with your anxiety, you are ignoring it and hoping it’ll go away. In the meantime it’s leaking into other areas of your life.
I get it, I do. You’re not alone. But you’re not remotely willing to help yourself.
I have been watching old tv programmes and movies without people social distancing I find them fine to watch but at the back of my mind my head says perhaps I can’t enjoy them as much as we live in different times so perhaps life is in some way tainted now? Perhaps my life will never return to pre corona times?
Or am I over worrying and it will all go back to normal by next year? Or is life temporarily tainted?
So does "tainted" mean "different" now? Does change mean spoiled?
So does "tainted" mean "different" now? Does change mean spoiled?
Not too sure life seems to be ever changing. My worry is permanent corona things like big screens, gloves, one way pavements makes life as we knew it now tainted because we can’t live now we did before. My head says this is temporary if we find a cure but if not I worry life is spoiled by the virus in the same way I feel my garden is spoiled?
venusbluejeans
01-05-20, 21:27
It's not a silly question. Many people add all & sundry to their social media friends to appear popular.
I never normally took friended someone who i didn't know on social media, but I took a chance and accepted someone who I had no idea who they were...... that was 7 years ago.... and just about 7 years ago I started working for the person I didn't know, looking after her children... I still look after her children and clean for her 7 years later.... so sometimes it is good to take a chance on strangers on social media :)
venusbluejeans
01-05-20, 21:30
Not too sure life seems to be ever changing. My worry is permanent corona things like big screens, gloves, one way pavements makes life as we knew it now tainted because we can’t live now we did before. My head says this is temporary if we find a cure but if not I worry life is spoiled by the virus in the same way I feel my garden is spoiled?
Life is what you make of it, if life changes in ways that is impossible for things to be the same then you have to change around it.
Yes I have been doing well not replacing stuff but the past couple of weeks I’ve been quarantining belts again and ordering new ones. I managed to get over this but it just crops up now and again. Sadly no chance of any CBT right now due to this crisis.
venusbluejeans
01-05-20, 21:44
Lots of chances to help yourself though...... not that you would actually do anything though... https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?236685-Start-working-on-your-mental-health-whilst-in-lockdown
As I said on another one of your threads.... COVID-19 does not discriminate. The changes we're experiencing are affecting nearly everyone. Unlike 99.9% of the fears expressed on the forum, this is real. I'm not a sufferer but its affecting me too! It permeates my thoughts at times as well my dreams. And I'm not alone in that the majority of the population is stressed out over this.
The bottom line is we have to find our own way of dealing with it. While I believe many will suffer more mental health issues due to this and more people will end up with mental illness challenges, we have no choice but to deal with it. No words on a screen are going to be a remedy for our mental state. Granted, real life help is limited but there is self help. Sadly, as illustrated clearly in this thread, some take the initiative and some just cannot or never will. Phil, with all due respect, I have the feeling you'll be posting on forums long after I'm dust and I'll make it a point to post a ghostly "Told Ya So".
FMP
So going back to the tainted thing at the moment the only way the feeling my garden will be clean is to move house. Obviously I don’t want to keep moving house but there seems to be no other way I would ever think my garden is clean again? As the wheelie bin was put in my front garden. I also fear that my social media anxiety is here to stay and I will be limited on much I can use it.
Well I think that’s been answered a lot a Phil. Can you remember any advice you’ve been given?
Well I think that’s been answered a lot a Phil. Can you remember any advice you’ve been given?
Valid point and answered many, many times over many years on several forums. There's really nothing else to say :shrug:
FMP
Well I think that’s been answered a lot a Phil. Can you remember any advice you’ve been given?
No I’m still thinking the garden is contaminated so nothing has got through yet once the seed is planted in my head perhaps there is no way to change it?
Every day I walk into my house now I worry about the garden..
Well I think that’s been answered a lot a Phil. Can you remember any advice you’ve been given?
The last time you were asked this you said that you couldn't be bothered going through your numerous threads to find the advice. V has also sent you various links for help in your area. It is all up to YOU. There is no point asking for advice if you are not willing to take it on board.
Trust me I understand not being able to take action as I am guilty of not doing things as well, but I do not keep asking others to fix me.
I agree. The 'seed' can't be planted unless you try and plant it yourself. (and tend to it with water and the right conditions)
Well I mentioned I was struggling with the social media anxiety. I was worried about adding people some I decided to add and I cancelled so I was too worried to add people from work. I overcame my anxiety to cancel the request right away tonight I decided to add a couple of them again but only one person accepted and it was a person who I never tried to add yet. However one person cancelled the request so it seems my hunch was right to cancel the requests last time sure it was my ocd making me do it however the delay in accepting is because they don’t want to add me it seems..
I would feel worse if I quit social media as I would lose contact but the Facebook thing makes me feel anxious in enteral when someone doesn’t accept of I worry the about adding somebody I get anxiety sensations and a tense head..
What makes you decide to add a person on social media? Is it a need/compulsion to add to your numbers?
What makes you decide to add a person on social media? Is it a need/compulsion to add to your numbers?
It use to be years ago but as I say anybody I add I know in person now and don’t need more numbers. Perhaps I like to add people relevant to my life rather than work colleagues from 4 years ago. Anyway one person did accept but my ocd is to delete them I have no valid reason to but I have become worried adding anybody new from work means my list could be tainted. I am trying to resist the urge as if I start deleting people I will not add any new staff of eventually I add anybody else? I woke up at 4am and had to do a relaxation as the friend thing was on my mind.
There is a few I wouldn’t add in fear I spoke to them before if they look similar to others. But then I avoided it and I worried about other people. I know logically this other person doesn’t look like anybody I would have spoke to but my anxiety still says otherwise. I believe it’s my ocd playing up again..
How can I handle my urge to delete the two people I just added including one of my wife’s family?
Basically you ignore it and deal with the anxiety that the negative thought has created. And when I say ignore it, you need to tell yourself that it’s a negative thought and not a real one, it doesn’t deserve your time because thinking about it makes it worse.
Then go and do something that keeps your mind busy and will start to relax you.
Repeat.
Basically you ignore it and deal with the anxiety that the negative thought has created. And when I say ignore it, you need to tell yourself that it’s a negative thought and not a real one, it doesn’t deserve your time because thinking about it makes it worse.
Then go and do something that keeps your mind busy and will start to relax you.
Repeat.
Yes I have tried that I have so far resisted the urge to delete however I sit each hour thinking about when I will delete these friends I fear I may give in to the urge?
venusbluejeans
19-05-20, 00:48
How can I handle my urge to delete the two people I just added including one of my wife’s family?
delete social media
Basically you ignore it and deal with the anxiety that the negative thought has created. And when I say ignore it, you need to tell yourself that it’s a negative thought and not a real one, it doesn’t deserve your time because thinking about it makes it worse.
Then go and do something that keeps your mind busy and will start to relax you.
Repeat.
In the end I deleted one friend likely to delete the other person. I couldn’t live with the anxiety. Problem is I have this issue in every walk of life. It use to be replacing items I am not as bad at that now I have only replaced the odd thing but I reckon the social media one has taken over that. I guess the only hope is often these fears fizzle out. I know I need help for my ocd as I do what the ocd tells me what to do problem is there is no CBT right now.
Yes I just couldn’t resist deleting them I tried for days and it was troubling me too much. I do wish I never added them as I knew I would have this fear but problem is I wanted to try and overcome the fear but I worry adding people will contaminate my friend list or make it tainted in the same way I have ocd with the garden..
Phil I’m so tired of saying the same thing.
You have to keep on practicing these things even if you feel ok. Of course you can live with the anxiety, you do so every day anyway. You don’t do anything about it and expect it to just leave because you didn’t have it a few years ago. You seem to not grasp what anxiety is.
Phil I’m so tired of saying the same thing.
You have to keep on practicing these things even if you feel ok. Of course you can live with the anxiety, you do so every day anyway. You don’t do anything about it and expect it to just leave because you didn’t have it a few years ago. You seem to not grasp what anxiety is.
The anxiety is more overwhelming as in like an ocd urge. It’s the urges I struggle with like I woke up thinking about the friend thing at 4am one night.
I agree I get anxiety daily but this anxiety is a different type of anxiety.
I feel I should try and step back from social media at the moment has it has troubled me for a bit. I guess I hope it will one day just go away like my urge to stop replacing items
Step back by all means, but avoiding it won’t help either.
It seems to me as if you're confusing "friends" with objects and treating them in the same way that you would replace a faulty/tainted item? Have you ever been able to see things from the deleted "friend's " point of view ie why am I being "deleted"? What have I done wrong?
It seems to me as if you're confusing "friends" with objects and treating them in the same way that you would replace a faulty/tainted item? Have you ever been able to see things from the deleted "friend's " point of view ie why am I being "deleted"? What have I done wrong?
No I have not. I am struggling to imagine what they think I just of thing I hope they don’t notice. They did nothing wrong it’s my ocd I mentioned weeks back. I do feel bad about it but what can I do? I tried to ride the anxiety out and the anxiety won?
I hope I can find a cure for the social media anxiety but I fear it won’t. Since the birthday night out plan avoiding stuff made this anxiety worse I believe. I spend soo much time thinking about how to not post it may have triggered a new wave of social media anxiety?
I hope I can find a cure for the social media anxiety but I fear it won’t. Since the birthday night out plan avoiding stuff made this anxiety worse I believe. I spend soo much time thinking about how to not post it may have triggered a new wave of social media anxiety?
I bet if you looked into it properly you could find “a cure”.
I bet if you looked into it properly you could find “a cure”.
So will I ever be able to add Facebook friends again that’s my worry. I deleted those people but I can’t keep adding and deleting. Not adding gives me relief but it’s i it recently this ocd has got worse. I had a thought about deleting someone else as I spoke to them they had a mutual friend with a person I spoke to but I resisted the deletion. I however couldn’t resist deleting the people I added..I am keen to add more to try and ride the anxiety our longer..
Unless you deal with the anxiety you’ll keep having the same problem.
I know anxiety is awful and unbearable. I think I understand how the feeling burns at you. You still can’t keep adding and deleting people, it’s rude.
Unless you deal with the anxiety you’ll keep having the same problem.
I know anxiety is awful and unbearable. I think I understand how the feeling burns at you. You still can’t keep adding and deleting people, it’s rude.
Yes it’s not practical to keep adding and deleting..I just couldn’t control the anxiety but I will hold off maybe I will be able to add people again soon.
How do you feel when someone "deletes" you? Do you feel tainted? Does it bother you? Is your list unbalanced and tainted thanks to another person's actions which you haven't been able to control?
How do you feel when someone "deletes" you? Do you feel tainted? Does it bother you? Is your list unbalanced and tainted thanks to another person's actions which you haven't been able to control?
I believe the birthday night anxiety is what trigged me to worry about social media. And no if somebody deletes me they are not tainted it maybe annoys me but I don’t give it anymore thought usually.
The other source for this anxiety is dating sites I mentioned this before but the problem is my ocd says somebody looks like x person so I can’t add them as they would be tainted. It spells back to a year ago when I spoke to somebody and told them they were nice even though they were not In the least but attractive. My partner seen those messages on Facebook so since then i believed the relationship was tainted. I mentioned this on the forum before. But it never bothered me until lately I could add 99% of people no anxiety but past few months the anxiety about social media has increased..I have no idea why I am so focused on this.
And yes I know I shouldn’t have spoke to anybody but that’s how it is.
Again I ask, why, as a married man are you visiting dating sites?
As far as a cure? While it may be helpful with your contamination issues in terms of cleaning, I don't suggest following Trump's suggestion of ingesting Clorox or inserting UV light into your body ;)
Positive thoughts
So my ocd is:
*Worry about putting birthday night out on social media due to worrying about her 30th being on show and also worry I spoke to the singers before not his partner. Night out cancelled for now but point is I probably never spoke to either before even if I did speak to his partner it’s pointless nobody would know but I feel posting is tainted
*I seen a certain hair style at a tourist spot on a social media site so my ocd says don’t post that photo from that location again (the worry being its tainted or people will assume its that hair style)
*And again adding new friends my worry is I spoke to them before. Logically it’s not possible most are from England or further away or Glasgow or Edinburgh there is very few from my area on these sites. Ocd still says I spoke to them before so if I add them my friend list is tainted or I feel anxiety and urge to delete them
Thats my ocd about social media in brief. Now how can I control these worries or views I have? How can I challenge what I put above? At the moment my solution is to delete people, avoid posting ect but it’s no life is it?
Phil, you ask the same question every other day.
Phil, you ask the same question every other day.
Nobody has found a solution for me though
venusbluejeans
21-05-20, 21:48
Nobody has found a solution for me though
The only person who can find a solution is YOU!
The only person who can find a solution is YOU!
Yes.
When was the last tome you spoke to your doctor about it? Do they know how you still suffer? Maybe make a phone appointment, you might find it easier to talk over the phone.
I fear my anxiety will never settle again due to this Covid and face masks. Also if my partner learns to drive I may worry about being a passenger in the car even though it’s not me driving seems like another goal or pressure like getting married. I said a while back I was obsessed with goals since I hit my 30’s I feel I need to push new targets. This means each day I never feel relaxed too often. My anxiety is lowest when working.
Does things get easier by 40’s, 50’s? Do you care less or is it not an age thing and just my handling of the anxiety?
Perhaps I shouldn’t try and persuade my partner to drive or me. I mean sure my non anxiety head says yes but my anxiety says I can’t live with the anxiety. I did have an ex who could drive and I was fine going in the car but that was a decade ago.
SnowyGreen
05-06-20, 06:10
It's not an age thing. It definitely doesn't get better with age if you keep yourself in the loop. My mum's has gotten worse with age. I'd try to get a handle on it now. Good news is, anyone with anxiety can get better and have a normal future, even you.
Do you feel you have too much time on your hands to ruminate, Phil? I think you said you work part time? Is there any chance you could increase your hours without adding any more stress?
Do you feel you have too much time on your hands to ruminate, Phil? I think you said you work part time? Is there any chance you could increase your hours without adding any more stress?
The issue is my partner works full time I use to have more days with her to do leisurely tasks however now some weeks on my 3 days off I am in the house or very bored. I could work more hours but I like part time as I don’t get too stressed. Going out usually helps my mental health but with this virus that’s been off the cards. I admit it’s been worse trying to keep busy. I spend too much time on social media. The virus thing has set me off tweeting and contacting the media again.
I feel I did get into a habit of needing to worry about something usually it’s the news then a goal then it’s the ocd garden/contamination issues again. Each day I have existence questions hanging over me which doesn’t help either.
Did you try and speak to your doctor like I suggested?
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Please remember Nic's warning re posting on contentious threads such as this
"and just for the record if I feel that someone is replying to a post just to have a dig or make a sarcastic comment I will start removing those comments and banning that member from the thread."
The issue is my partner works full time I use to have more days with her to do leisurely tasks however now some weeks on my 3 days off I am in the house or very bored. I could work more hours but I like part time as I don’t get too stressed. Going out usually helps my mental health but with this virus that’s been off the cards. I admit it’s been worse trying to keep busy. I spend too much time on social media. The virus thing has set me off tweeting and contacting the media again.
I feel I did get into a habit of needing to worry about something usually it’s the news then a goal then it’s the ocd garden/contamination issues again. Each day I have existence questions hanging over me which doesn’t help either.
Boredom can be a big trigger for anxiety along with the need to worry about something in order to fill the long gaps in the day/night. All the CV restrictions make this all the more intense and frustrating. Do you have any hobbies you actually enjoy doing, Phil? Nothing social media-related though..Just things you can do which distract you?
I still have the social media anxiety. I worry about adding people as I ended up deleting 2 people about a month ago. How can I tackle this? Do I give in and use social media less or can I add these people and some how real with the anxiety?
Don't add people . Stick with what you've got. Adding people equals adding uncertainty. No one likes being "deleted"/"culled" on social media. How do you deal with being deleted? Does it bother you? If someone thought you were "tainted" how would you feel?
Don't add people . Stick with what you've got. Adding people equals adding uncertainty. No one likes being "deleted"/"culled" on social media. How do you deal with being deleted? Does it bother you? If someone thought you were "tainted" how would you feel?
Yes if I get deleted it feels pretty awful so I know it’s wrong. Maybe I will have to add less? I did add a few recently and had no anxiety and suddenly the anxiety came back? My ocd has got worse lately as the topic is about cbt I was thinking now lockdown is being eased I may be able to return to the Cbt in person which would be good news? Before I said I couldn’t afford it however having saved during lockdown I could probably afford some cbt. But yes adding less friends may be the way forward
My Ocd has flared up recently and it’s been a daily struggle. I am unsure why perhaps covid less on my mind but all my old worries seem to crop back up?
I have yet to get anymore CBT since the NHS is not offering any right now and the one I was going to never got back.
Anyway my issue is when my ocd is more settled and not as bad my anxiety is worse. Past few weeks of months I have had awful worries of dying a horrible death or dying sometime soon. I believe this has triggered my anxiety where I feel tense restless headaches, spaced out, panicky, anxious and just sit thinking I am dying. I sit trying to do a relaxation but often it takes around one or sometimes hour to calm down..like I say the death anxiety has been a bit of a trigger I worry how one day you can feel fine but next day you could be ill? Can anybody give me any tips I am not sure if it’s the corona stuff on the news or just me in general feeling this way. Often I go through spells of daily anxiety for months how can I relax and see this is anxiety?
My CBT update is
I went for a session today but they never got back about another appointment after the free first session? Feeling a little downbeat
My original therapist ignored my emails twice so also felt down beat about that. NHS is closed other than Covid not good.
May have to look at online CBT or books again?
venusbluejeans
08-10-20, 21:52
My CBT update is
I went for a session today but they never got back about another appointment after the free first session? Feeling a little downbeat
They won't get back to you, you have to be proactive and contact them, you can't expect them to plan your recovery for you... you have to do that and ask them.
They won't get back to you, you have to be proactive and contact them, you can't expect them to plan your recovery for you... you have to do that and ask them.
Yes true only they said they would email a CBT worksheet and discuss next appointment but never did.
venusbluejeans
08-10-20, 22:12
Then chase it up.
also you only went today
I’ve started reading the worry trick by David Carbonell. He takes an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) alongside some CBT elements.
I have done CBT in the past, private and group, and found it somewhat helpful. Carbonell, however, has been really helpful. Much of the CBT stuff focuses on challenging irrational thoughts and thinking patterns with evidence. But I’ve always been aware that my worries are predominately irrational and unsupported by evidence. Carbonell explains that this leads to us feeling like failures because we can’t control or stop this form of worrying. This really spoke to me, and I’ve been doing much better focusing on accepting my worries and not looking for solutions.
I got a call about therapy and they asked if I still wanted to be seen with long waiting lists for COVID I said yes I am guessing this is the nhs cbt I enquired about some time ago. I ruled this out as it was group cbt but they told me on phone it wouldn’t be group cbt so that’s a bonus so I said I could stay on the waiting list. It’s been around one year I have been on the waiting list though so no idea how long I would have to wait?
You should have asked them that really, we don’t know your waiting times. It’s promising that you got a call though.
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